Since childhood, I've always felt invisible, why do I constantly feel overlooked by others?

Hello, host! I'm smiling.

After reading your description, I have a better understanding of the question you want to ask. In this regard, I'd also like to give you a hug in the fourth dimension.

You mentioned that you have a low sense of presence, which is reflected in your tendency to listen more than you speak when chatting with others. I want to give you a warm hug for this.

There are lots of people in life who are like you, just to a different extent. You say you have a low sense of existence, but you also say that you generally only listen and don't speak much. This shows that compared to speaking, you are better at listening. So, listening is also a great skill of yours. There's no need for you to become a very talkative person. However, you can still express some of your thoughts and feelings in moderation, so that those around you know what you are thinking.

I also want to say that there's no such thing as a good or bad personality. Both introverted and extroverted personalities have their own characteristics. So, even if you're an introvert, it just means you pay more attention to the internal world and less to the external world.

In this regard, I've also put together a few tips to help you deal with the current situation.

(1) Accept your true self, warts and all. Get to know your truest self, accept it, and then make some changes.

(2) You can learn some social skills online to improve your communication with colleagues and make a good impression.

(3) Try to set fewer limits on yourself, because too many self-imposed limits can actually trap you in the trap you set for yourself.

(4) Invest more time in self-improvement. You can enhance your life by reading books and learning about things that interest you.

I just wanted to say that I love you, the world, and everything in it.

Wishing you the best!

Hello! I'll give you a hug.

You feel the impact of being ignored and neglected.

Your mother's emotional neglect during your early years may have caused you to feel neglected, unappreciated, and unimportant.

How you're treated affects how you treat yourself. In a relationship, you'll be treated the same way you treat yourself.

If you don't get enough attention as a child, you learn to ignore your feelings. This makes others treat you a certain way.

Treat yourself with respect, especially when others make you feel uncomfortable. Speak up about your feelings.

You have to know your feelings and accept yourself.

I'm Lily, the listener at the Q&A Center. I love you.

Hello. Let me be clear: not having a sense of existence since childhood means that you were seriously neglected.

An early environment can imprint the inner self with the feeling of "I am not important, no one likes me."

Look at all the people around you. They are interacting with others with these feelings. It is likely that your words and expressions, and your entire energy field, will also give people these feelings.

You can go back to believing that you are unimportant and that others dislike you.

Changing your external relationships is key to changing your internal self-relationship.

Then ask yourself, "I am important to myself." "I like myself."

Change your internal relationship model. Learn to like yourself. Value your feelings and needs. These changes will directly affect your external relationships.

Patterns can be changed through learning exercises. It all starts with awareness.

Practice:

1. I will identify my feelings and my desires.

I need to know what I need.

For example, if you hear someone chatting and you want to get attention, you will express it. You may not have confidence at first, so others will ignore your feelings. But as you express yourself more and more and practice, you will become more confident.

You will receive both good and bad feedback from others, but when you accept the bad feedback, you will be more courageous in expressing yourself. Once you have gained some good feelings from doing so, you will want to express yourself more and crave more of these good feelings.

You have to accept that you're not going to be perfect. Just as a person has to learn to walk, you need to learn to allow yourself to fall. Tell yourself that it's okay to be bad at it, that it's normal.

You will have the strength to do what you want to do in the moment.

2. Lewis Howes, author of Rebuilding Your Life, shares a method:

Every day, say to yourself in the mirror, "Luis, I like you."

You will feel a little bit of a change in your feelings. You will know that you can like yourself, even with all of your inner self-disgust and self-loathing numbness.

3. You are the most important person in your own life.

Start nurturing yourself spiritually from a young age.

Treat yourself as if you have this kind of parental love and care for your biological child.

You know in your heart of hearts that this child is the most important thing to me. I am the most important thing to me.

The world exists because of me, and it disappears because of me.

Deep down, people are inherently narcissistic. Everyone's sense of self and self-confidence is formed from an early age by an all-encompassing sense of narcissism that needs to be largely satisfied.

Once you become an adult, you realize you have a serious lack of this need. Meet your all-powerful narcissistic part with conscious satisfaction within appropriate limits.

In essence, everyone is narcissistic and cares most about themselves. Everyone around you is concerned about themselves.

If you like yourself and value yourself, it's almost impossible for the words you say and the things you do not to attract the attention of others.

Your energy is high when you start to like yourself.

Hello. Let's be honest, we often feel neglected because we're too self-conscious. We think we're the center of the world and that others should be paying attention to us.

The truth is, everyone is self-aware and only pays attention to things that concern them.

If you only listen and never speak, you're not paying attention to others and they won't connect with you. If you do speak, perhaps your voice and tone are not firm enough, and people have not heard or understood what you are saying, so they are unable to give you feedback. You immediately feel that you may have said the wrong thing, and you become nervous and lack confidence. This makes it even more difficult for others to connect with you, so you create the psychological effect of "others ignore me" and "I am a nobody," and even acquire the attribute of "transparency."

If you're fine with being invisible and it doesn't get in the way of you doing good things and communicating, then that's your choice. But if you want to make a difference, you can make a few changes:

1. Accept yourself as a temporary spectator and believe you can also be the protagonist on stage.

2. Practice self-expression. If you express your thoughts less frequently, it means you have a rich inner world and are very thoughtful. Sort out your thoughts first and then share them with your close friends or people you meet frequently. This is a good way to create topics to strengthen the bond and relationship.

3. Give feedback while listening to others. The most effective way to listen is not to listen rigidly (like a single input in class). You should nod occasionally, follow the other person with your eyes, repeat their point of view, or think about asking questions. This will make the other person feel that you are listening attentively, that you are paying attention to them, and that they are being seen. Once a person is noticed and seen by others, they will be more willing to share with you and establish a good relationship.

You've got this.