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Since getting a pet, I have started to feel anxious and always feel like I'm letting her down?

pet ownership animal care health concerns loneliness guilt
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Since getting a pet, I have started to feel anxious and always feel like I'm letting her down? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

When I was young, I kept a lot of small animals, but for some reason, many of them didn't survive. Then a year ago, I found another kitten.

I worry about her in every way. I worry about her health and living conditions.

When I go out, I always worry about her, and many times I wonder if she will suddenly get sick or have an accident and leave me. Maybe because having a pet is planting a seed of sadness.

So my cat comes first in all my arrangements. Especially when I go to work, I often feel sorry for her and worry that she is lonely.

I also feel guilty when I go out. I also feel guilty because I didn't socialize her properly when she was young.

Although I am slowly learning how to raise her, I always feel sorry for her. I don't know how to relieve this anxiety.

Zane Zane A total of 7768 people have been helped

Your deep concern for the kitten may be rooted in your inner awareness of the fragility of life and the importance you attach to responsibility. The experience of not being able to properly care for many small animals when you were a child may have planted a seed of fear and unease in your heart.

This experience may lead you to appreciate the value of each new pet in your life, while also causing you to worry and feel anxious excessively when faced with possible risks.

You care for the kitten with great devotion, from her physical health to her living conditions, and you want to give her the best care possible. However, this excessive care is often accompanied by fear and worry about the unknown.

It is understandable to worry about your pet when you are out and about, but constant worry about whether she might suddenly fall ill or have an accident will undoubtedly add to your mental burden.

It is important to recognize that this anxiety is not entirely necessary. While raising a pet does require significant time and effort, it is not reasonable to become overly concerned about every detail.

Many people keep small animals, and through learning and practice, they have found ways to live in harmony with their pets. As long as we treat and care for our pets in a way that is respectful and considerate, they are likely to grow up healthy and happy.

Additionally, the internet offers a wealth of knowledge. It provides the opportunity to learn more about how to raise a kitten, understand her habits and needs, and take better care of her in a more scientific way.

This will not only help to enhance your parenting skills, but also to reduce your anxiety and worries.

Furthermore, if you are so anxious even when dealing with an animal, you may find yourself feeling even more overwhelmed when faced with more complex interpersonal relationships and responsibilities in the future, such as raising your own children. Therefore, learning to adjust and control this anxiety is very important for your personal growth and future life.

To assist you in managing this anxiety, we offer the following suggestions:

1. Accept reality: It is important to understand that life is fragile and that we cannot predict and control all risks. Accepting this fact can help you face possible misfortunes more calmly.

2. Consider creating a plan: You might find it helpful to set up a sensible schedule for your kitten's diet, exercise, and medical care to ensure she gets enough love and attention. It might also be a good idea to make a plan for yourself to deal with emergencies to reduce your worries.

3. Stay connected: If you need to go out, you might consider asking a friend or family member to help look after your kitten or find a reliable boarding place for her. Staying in touch with her could help give you peace of mind.

4. Consider learning relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. These can be helpful in calming down when you feel anxious.

5. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or professionals. They can provide valuable guidance and assistance in managing anxiety.

It is also worth noting that prolonged excessive anxiety can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health. It may cause you to experience symptoms such as insomnia, loss of appetite, and palpitations, and may even trigger more serious mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety.

It would be beneficial to learn how to adjust and control anxiety in order to maintain your physical and mental health.

Your care and concern for the kitten comes from valuing her life and taking responsibility seriously. However, it is important to be mindful that excessive anxiety can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health.

It would be beneficial for us to learn to adjust and control these emotions, and relieve anxiety by accepting reality, making plans, staying connected, learning relaxation techniques, and seeking support. At the same time, it is important to understand that raising a pet is a process of learning and growing. As long as we love and care for them with all our hearts, they will be able to grow up healthy and happy.

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Jessica Jessica A total of 411 people have been helped

Hello! I'm Li Di, and I'm thrilled to have this opportunity to connect with you.

From reading your question, I can tell you are a very careful and caring person. You are so thoughtful to have considered all these things. I can see you are anxious about the kitten, but you are also eager to learn and grow. I admire your desire to do everything right. I want to give you a hug because I think you are great! I also have a few questions for the questioner.

☞ First, when I was a child, I kept many small animals, but for some reason, many of them did not survive. When you didn't keep the small animals, what way did you use to adjust your mood at the time?

Second, you worry about the kitten at work and feel sorry for her. You also feel guilty because you haven't socialized her well enough. In fact, when I read your feelings over and over again, I get the impression that you seem to be worrying about your childhood self, afraid that you were lonely as a child and weren't raised well. There is also a feeling that in the role of raising the kitten, you have a lot of responsibility. Is your sense of responsibility strong in life?

I'm so excited to hear more about what's going on for you! This is just my thoughts and curiosity about the situation you have described at the moment. If there is anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can ignore it. This is just some assumptions, but I'm so interested to hear more!

Your current feelings and concerns are complex and profound. They may stem from your deep values about life and relationships and your reflections on past experiences. We can explore this further on a psychological level next, which I think will be really interesting!

Your anxiety may be a kind of "anticipatory grief," which is a fear of losing something you love. This feeling is known in psychology as "anticipatory grief," and it is a common reaction, especially after experiencing a loss in the past.

You may be trying unconsciously to avoid the pain of losing your kitten again by preparing for it in advance, which is a great way to stay on top of things!

At the same time, your sense of responsibility may exceed the actual scope required, which may be a manifestation of "perfectionism." You want to be the best and not let anything go wrong. This mentality may lead to you setting some pretty high standards for yourself! Even the slightest mistake can cause a sense of guilt, but that's all part of the journey.

This tendency is known in psychology as the "Perfectionist Tendency," and it can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. But don't worry! There are ways to overcome it.

In addition, your sense of self-blame may be related to "internalized responsibility," that is, the belief that you must be responsible for everything, even those things that are beyond your personal control. This may stem from a belief system formed in childhood, when you may have learned to take responsibility even when it was beyond your ability. The good news is that you can change this!

So let's dive in and explore some fantastic methods together, and I'm sure they'll be just the thing to help!

☆Self-talk: When you feel anxious, ask yourself where this feeling comes from, whether it is based on specific events in reality or whether it stems from past experiences. It's a great idea to keep a diary or reflect on yourself to understand the root cause of your emotions!

Set those boundaries! It's important to take care of yourself as well as your kitten. You can do it! For example, you could decide to spend only a certain amount of time each day thinking about her needs and focus on your own affairs the rest of the time.

☆Social support: Talk to other pet owners and share your experiences and concerns. You'll be amazed at how many people have similar experiences and feel less isolated!

☆Professional advice: If you can, get some expert advice from a vet or behavior specialist. They can help you understand your kitten better and show you how to care for them.

☆ Relaxation exercises: Try some relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, or other forms of stress management. They're a great way to reduce anxiety!

Mindfulness exercises are a great way to shift your focus from worrying about the future to enjoying the present!

You can absolutely take care of your pet and yourself at the same time! Your feelings are totally understandable, and you are already trying to be a responsible and caring pet owner.

I'm sure that after our discussion, you'll be able to understand the motives and emotions behind these feelings. You'll also be able to manage them better and find a balance!

I really hope my answer is helpful! I love you all so much! *^O^*

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Logan Alexander Ellis Logan Alexander Ellis A total of 3806 people have been helped

Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to drop you a quick line to say hello.

After reading your description, I really feel that you are a very caring partner. Pets are living things, and they deserve to be loved and cared for by us. You've had the experience of raising a pet, so you probably feel more and deeper about "loving pets" than many other people. You're also more reluctant to let them go, so I completely understand the anxiety you feel in the process of raising a pet.

Let's dig a little deeper into this feeling based on what you've told me.

You mentioned that you had a lot of small animals when you were a child, but many of them didn't survive. Then, a year ago, you found a kitten and started worrying about her, especially her health and living conditions. When I got to this point, I had some feelings:

1. This is some kind of compensation that your life circumstances are giving you. Think about it: even though many of the animals you have kept have not survived, you and the kitten still met a year ago, and then had her, so you have even more reasons to finish things early and go home.

2. It's clear that you love the kitten and want the best for her.

3. All the things you worry about your kitten can actually be alleviated by spending time with her.

I get these three points, so let's keep reading.

You mentioned that having a kitten might have made you a bit sad, so you always think about the kitten first when making decisions. I have a few questions about this:

1. Given that pets can also express emotions, what do you think the kitten wants you to do with her?

2. Do you think the kitten can tell how good her owner is to her?

3. Do you think there's a chance you'll be able to take care of the kitten and yourself at the same time?

The above three points are meant to tell you that now you've identified the areas where you're feeling anxious, you can choose to list them one by one in a notebook and complete them day by day. If taking good care of the cat can make you feel more secure, why not do it? Also, it's worth noting that actually adjusting your body and mind is more valuable than rushing to work every day as soon as you wake up.

(I've never had a pet myself, but I've never thought it was a sad thing. I think the reason we feel anxious when doing things is that we haven't arranged the order of things properly before doing them.)

Just a quick note: find your own rhythm at work and in your personal life, and try to keep things organized.

Treat yourself well while you take care of your cat.

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Roxana Lee Roxana Lee A total of 5286 people have been helped

Good day. I can discern your affection, attachment, and sense of accountability for your pet from your message. Love often gives rise to concern and worry, and you frequently feel that you are not doing enough and experience self-blame.

We have a puppy at home, and the whole family is fond of it. As it matures, the family begins to feel uneasy and afraid that it will leave one day. I can empathize with your feelings for your pet.

The attachment we form with our pets is comparable to that of our loved ones. However, due to the shorter lifespan of pets and their reliance on our care, our feelings and concerns about them tend to be more pronounced. This can result in a emotional state that is similar to that experienced when caring for a young child. From your experience, you had a pet during your childhood and also experienced the loss of a pet.

Given their age, they may not yet be equipped to understand or cope with these feelings of loss. The sadness they experience as a result may remain embedded in their memories, akin to the "seed of sadness" you referenced.

Additionally, with regard to the matter of self-blame, it is possible that you have attributed a portion of the demise of your pet in the past to your own accountability. Alternatively, you may have assumed, during your childhood, that your neglect or inadequate care was the cause of the pet's inability to survive. However, the birth, aging, illness, and death of pets are influenced by environmental factors, health issues, or other uncontrollable elements. Despite our best efforts, we cannot control everything, and it is unreasonable to expect a minor child to assume such responsibility.

Perhaps you can reassure your younger self that you did your best and provided those little animals with precious love, which allowed them to experience happiness while they were alive.

From the perspective of the subconscious mind, self-blame is also a defense mechanism. Because we are so afraid of separation and of being unable to control things, self-blame is a way of reassuring ourselves that if we do a better job, the little creature will survive and won't leave.

This is a defensive mechanism employed to prevent a loss of control.

The underlying cause of this anxiety may be the fear of separation and uncertainty. Once you have a clear understanding of your own capabilities, you can adjust your perception and accept a more realistic level of responsibility. Just as parents of young children often find it challenging to meet all their needs, trying to be a 100-point parent is overwhelming and can even lead to anxiety for family members. A more balanced approach is to be a 60-point parent who gets the job done just right.

Alternatively, the emotional anxiety associated with separation indicates a need for external support. It may be beneficial to seek such support from friends, relatives, and other sources, including professional counseling.

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Miriam Miriam A total of 3719 people have been helped

My name is Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey, and I am a heart exploration coach.

The presence of a pet can evoke feelings of sadness, given that their lifespan is typically shorter than that of a human. Conversely, the bond formed with a pet can also elicit feelings of joy, as the animal provides emotional value to its owner and vice versa. It is beneficial to reflect on the quality of care provided to the pet during their time together. If the care is deemed satisfactory, it may alleviate the questioner's sadness and foster a sense of gratitude in the pet.

From the questioner's description, it can be inferred that this is a cat that the questioner rescued. If the questioner had not rescued it, would it have had to lead a wandering life? Adopting a different perspective may assist the questioner in adjusting to this situation.

The questioner is obliged to attend work and is separated from the cat for reasons related to work. However, it is important to note that cats are typically aloof animals and prefer to be alone. Would the questioner experience less sadness if he were to adopt this perspective?

Parting is for a superior encounter. In the event that the questioner does not attend work, how might he establish a more robust material foundation to provide for the cat? Attempting to view matters from an alternative perspective may mitigate the questioner's anxiety.

In instances where there is insufficient time to spend together, the quality of the time spent together may become a significant factor. The questioner may consider whether they are providing positive company when they are with the cat. Adopting a different perspective may contribute to a more positive outlook.

One must endeavor to do one's best and accept the circumstances that arise. The world is replete with unpredictable changes, and individuals must confront life and death. Even humans are subject to the inevitabilities of birth, aging, sickness, and death. Instead of fixating on the potential dangers that may arise, it would be more beneficial to prioritize the quality of time spent together.

The questioner may attempt to utilize an emotional diary as a tool for elucidating the underlying causes of self-blame.

When individuals are inclined to self-blame, it may be due to a lack of affirmation during childhood and a tendency to internalize criticism. However, this does not reflect any personal deficiency.

One might inquire as to whether they exerted their utmost efforts in the rearing of the cat. Human energy is finite, and we are not superhuman. Accepting one's limitations may facilitate greater self-acceptance.

One must inquire as to the means by which self-blame can be mitigated. For instance, one might consider the practice of mindfulness, which would entail identifying instances of positive action. It may be beneficial to assess whether relinquishing the cat to another caretaker could alleviate the distress associated with pet ownership.

Which course of action is more likely to result in the questioner experiencing a reduction in distress: relinquishing the cat for adoption in order to alleviate one's own grief, or providing the cat with the best possible care within the constraints of the situation?

The questioner's initial difficulties in providing a suitable environment for their pet may have been due to a lack of knowledge regarding the optimal care of animals or financial constraints. However, with the passage of time and the acquisition of resources, the questioner has the capacity to provide a more conducive setting for their pet. Adopting a growth-oriented approach to cat ownership may confer a sense of empowerment upon the questioner.

It is recommended that the cat be provided with some of its preferred forms of play, such as a ball of yarn, which may facilitate its happiness even when the owner is occupied.

It is important to recognize that humans are not infallible and that it is not possible to accomplish every task. By accepting one's limitations, the questioner may experience a reduction in self-blame. Additionally, attempting to reassure oneself that one has exerted one's best effort may also help to alleviate anxiety.

It is recommended that the following texts be consulted: "Accepting Imperfection" and "Brenes' New Emotional Therapy."

I wish you the best of success!

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Arthur Arthur A total of 9568 people have been helped

Hello! I can see you're feeling a bit confused. You say you've been feeling anxious since you got a pet, and you always feel sorry for her?

It's totally normal to worry about your pet, especially since you said most of the small animals you kept as a child didn't survive. I can imagine that's left you with some concerns. But remember, this is all perfectly normal, and there's no need to fuel this kind of internal conflict.

I'm also the proud owner of a little furry friend. I have a sweet little dog. My last dog sadly passed away in a car accident, and also had parvovirus, but thankfully survived. So when I was raising my current dog, I was also a bit worried. I'm always worried that it will be lonely when I'm at work, even though I have a great neighbour who checks in on it. I also worry that it will go to the stars, because I'm the only one at home. I feel uncomfortable when I go out and leave home for more than three days. I worry that it will starve to death, die of thirst, and not sleep well at night when I'm not there.

So, this is a sign of our love! If you feel that you are overly anxious and want to change, then try the following methods: First, you need to understand that cats and dogs are different. Cats are used to being independent, which means that they are not clingy, while dogs are very clingy.

Another great option is to install a monitor in your home (which is what I did; I check on it when I miss it) and speak to it from the monitor, and it will look at the monitor.

And finally, remember that your pet brings you so much happiness, and it doesn't want you to be bothered unnecessarily because of it. It also wants you to be happy! You can also learn more, such as what it absolutely must not eat, or what can be used to treat simple illnesses.

That's all I can think of for now. I still worry about my dog, but I don't get anxious anymore. We all need to be happy! In One Mind, the world and I love you ❤️❤️❤️, come on!

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Joyce Joyce A total of 7613 people have been helped

Hello. I'm a heart exploration coach. I can give you advice.

I understand how you feel. We all want our animals to live longer and to live their best lives. We can't control everything, but we can make mistakes that affect their lives.

We must first look at why you think this way.

You kept many small animals years ago, but none survived.

A year ago, you found a kitten. You want to love it, but you're worried it will leave you.

This makes you feel uncomfortable, as if you've killed their future.

You want to know why and how you can live a good life with your kitten.

Your situation has shown us that these fears come from a lack of experience.

We concluded that no animal we kept was successful because they probably didn't live long. But everyone who keeps an animal has a lack of experience the first few times.

How many small animals have you kept? I think you've kept different kinds.

You can have kittens, puppies, fish, turtles, and birds as pets. What have you kept?

Cats and dogs are raised differently. The same is true for fish and turtles. For example, how often should the water be changed for fish? Should oxygen be added? For turtles, should light be provided? These are all tips for caring for them.

You haven't described these past experiences in detail because you don't want to face them.

I'd like to know more. Every experience with an animal is an improvement.

We've raised four animals, but they're all different. We can't say we raised them right because we didn't have the right knowledge.

We've found the first root cause: understanding how to raise an animal and matching it accordingly. This lets us be more targeted and use the right method to raise it.

This makes the other person happy, and we can spend time with it.

You found a kitten. It has been more than a year. You have gone from worrying about the kitten to worrying about not being able to raise it well to worrying about it afterwards. You brought it back because you love animals. You told yourself you would try hard to raise it well.

You have been working hard with this goal in mind, and you have been raising it for more than a year. In fact, for this kitten, if it has been wandering for a long time, you have been raising it for more than a year. You have taken it to the doctor, given it vaccinations, and learned how to take care of it.

This shows you're making progress, but you might still worry it'll be lonely or that I'll make it sick if I don't do things right.

We need to be objective about how long a life is, whether it's a person or an animal.

We can't predict or judge everything, but we can control how we treat others.

The kitten may be depressed when we leave for work or happy when we come home. This shows it needs company.

You can try chatting with it. You may think you can't connect, but you can.

Animals are spiritual. If we communicate with them from the bottom of our hearts, they can sense our emotions.

This energy can sense whether we are happy or care about it.

If you're worried about its health or mood, you can confide in it and chat with it.

It can understand your feelings and help you relax. If you keep worrying, it will be hard to feel better. You can talk to it to help you feel better.

In the end, I want to say that animals and humans both need companionship and care, but we all have our own lives.

Some animals, like cats, are very clingy. Others are proud and arrogant. They rarely have close contact with people because they are always busy.

Sometimes you want to spend more time with your family and find comfort in them.

Sometimes, we just want to be alone. This is a good time for self-growth.

We look at every life objectively and adjust our behavior to suit the other person's needs.

You can install a webcam in your home so you can check on it at work or interact with it in the video. This lets you feel less guilty about not being there with him while showing him you care.

I believe these methods can help you learn about raising animals. Your progress is important. You can learn from this kitten and other animals.

I believe that you will gradually let go of this feeling and untangle this knot in your heart.

If you have any other questions or need help, please visit my personal homepage. I'm here to help.

I'll wait for your reply. Best wishes!

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Tessa Tessa A total of 2037 people have been helped

In the chaos of the city, you and the kitten rely on each other, your lives entwined. You're not just her owner, you're her friend and family too.

Since she entered your life, your world has been consumed by concern.

In the quiet of the night, you know exactly what she is doing right now. She is looking out of the window at the stars, lonely and hoping for your return.

Such thoughts and worries keep you up at night.

You are always restless when you go out to work. Even during the busiest times at work, your thoughts will inevitably drift back to home, imagining what she is doing at the moment.

You often imagine her at home, whether she is looking out of the window at the world alone again or whether she is missing you. You can't concentrate on anything else when these thoughts come to mind.

You worry about whether she is eating and drinking enough. This anxiety affects your heart.

Since the kitten came into your life, your world has been irrevocably changed. She is not just a pet, but a part of your life and a source of comfort for your soul.

However, as your love for her grows, you also experience a kind of indescribable anxiety.

You question yourself, but you know you have done enough for her. You know you have provided her with the best living conditions. You know you can be there for her all the time, even if you have to work or have other reasons to be away.

This self-blame makes you feel the need to apologize whenever you face her.

When you see her watery eyes, you want to give her the best of everything. You know you can't always be there for her, and this makes you feel guilty and uneasy.

You worry that she might be lonely and scared of being alone. This makes you feel full of self-blame and helpless.

You have done a great job, my dear. You have chosen the food she likes, prepared a comfortable home for her, and often played with her to make her feel at home.

Every bit of effort you put in for her is a sign of your deep love for her.

She may not understand your anxieties, but she can feel your care and companionship. Every time you come home and see her running happily to greet you, the warmth and happiness of that moment is enough to offset your tiredness and anxieties for the day.

You are anxious because you care and want to provide the best for her. Remember, though, that she cares about you too. Every time she shows affection or rubs against you, she is telling you, "You have done a good job, and I am very happy."

You have done everything for her out of love and responsibility. You have given her a warm home in your world.

Don't blame yourself. You have created a wonderful living environment for her.

When anxiety strikes, take a deep breath and think about the happiness and warmth she brings you. You are each other's support and an indispensable part of each other's lives.

This deep emotional bond is all you need to overcome any difficulties and challenges.

Read books on cat care, consult a veterinarian, and take control of your anxiety by learning more about her health and care.

You need to accept your own imperfections and the fact that you cannot be there for her all the time. You can love and care for her as much as you can, but you also need to give yourself some space and time.

This is the only way you'll be able to face your anxiety and get along with her better.

Your kitten will be healthy and happy, and your heart will be filled with love and courage. You are not fighting alone, no matter where or when.

Your world will be better and more complete with her by your side.

I am certain that this article will resonate with you and help relieve some of your inner anxiety and stress. You are not alone. With the company of your kitten and the support of those who care about you, you will be able to get through this anxious time.

You've got this!

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Comments

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Nerissa Miller A teacher's humility is a quality that students appreciate and emulate.

I can totally relate to your feelings. It's heartbreaking to lose pets, and it makes us extra protective. I hope you find peace knowing that caring so much means you're giving her a loving home.

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Marco Davis The more we grow, the more we realize our potential is limitless.

Your concerns show how deeply you care for her. Maybe setting up a routine checkup with the vet could ease some worries. Also, consider interactive toys or hiring a pet sitter to keep her company when you're away.

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Aprilia Miller Life is a voyage of self - realization.

It sounds like you're doing everything you can for her. Pets often sense our anxiety, so trying to stay calm might help both of you. Perhaps engaging in activities you both enjoy can strengthen your bond and reduce stress.

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Bonnie Miller A person who fails to learn from failure is doomed to repeat it and miss success.

I understand your guilt about not socializing her enough as a kitten. But remember, every day is a new opportunity. Gradually introduce her to new experiences at her own pace, and she might surprise you with her adaptability.

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Antonia Anderson Learning is a way to develop a growth mindset and embrace change.

It's clear you're committed to making her life better. Sometimes just talking to other pet owners or a professional can offer relief. You're not alone in this, and there are many resources available to support you both.

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