Some people online say that matching through marriage during the winter solstice is good, while others say it's not. Anxiety?

I introduced someone to someone else 19 years ago. When I went home for the New Year in 22 years, my mother said matchmaking is not done in the first month of the lunar year. I remembered that incident. My mother said, "I know about your situation. It wasn't done in the first month of the lunar year." I went home and looked it up online. Some said it couldn't be done in the first month of the lunar year. Some said it couldn't be done in the twelfth lunar month. I was anxious, but with the help of my family, I got better. Today, I had dinner with a friend. I remembered that incident again. I asked when they had been introduced to each other. She said about a year ago. I was relieved it wasn't done in the first month of the lunar year. After going home, I washed up and went to bed. I thought again that it seemed to be said online that matchmaking in the twelfth lunar month was also not good. I checked it online. There were also things that said matchmaking in the twelfth lunar month was not done. I couldn't accept it.

I did a good thing, but now it's a burden.

Hello, host, I can see that you are worried about acting as a matchmaker during the first month of the lunar year. You are enthusiastic because you are worried that introducing someone to someone else during the first month of the lunar year will affect your friend's marriage.

You're setting someone up with someone else.

You have two meanings in mind.

The first level is that you're worried your future friend will be nice.

Your family is impatient with you.

Think about it.

No attribution error?

Don't let your thoughts trap you. Find your cage and break free. You'll find a partner faster. Do you agree? [Looking for a partner in the twelfth lunar month is a cage of your own thoughts.

You're not superstitious, you're just committed to your beliefs.

A different view can lead to a different result.

Let's dive into the fascinating world of superstition!

The key to superstition is to be confused. Confusion is the gateway to new possibilities! When you are confused, you will lose your direction. But when you have no opinions and no direction, you will lose focus in everything you do. Such people are often easily influenced by outside factors and tend to follow the crowd. But there's nothing wrong with that! It's all part of the journey.

From a young age, we are exposed to a plethora of ideas that gradually shape our perceptions. For instance, we learn that wealth is not always a virtue, that a lack of education can lead to future challenges, and that success is not guaranteed without hard work. These perceptions inform our values and shape our beliefs about the world.

But knowledge is not the same as the truth! Some knowledge is just too absolute and extreme. So the process of growing up is constantly breaking through knowledge, establishing a correct outlook on life, and dispelling the so-called superstitions of the past.

Everything is the best arrangement!

A blind date is originally a very good thing! But you are confused because of your perception. In fact, when the time is right, it doesn't matter when you meet the right person. There is no such thing as this or that. Remember, you are always the master of your own destiny!

You are the master of your own destiny! You get to decide what kind of life you want to lead. So let's keep learning and improving! Let's establish a set of independently operated thinking and awareness systems that belong to ourselves. Once you have your own opinions and the ability to think independently, you will no longer blindly believe in anyone or anything.

Bless you!

I'm so grateful you invited me to answer! The wisdom of the I Ching teaches us that success depends on the right time, the right place, and the right people. It says that "the right time is not as good as the right place, and the right place is not as good as the right people."

I totally get it. I think the root cause of your anxiety may be an exaggerated impact of the time you spent acting as a matchmaker.

It's totally true that when something hasn't happened yet and we're having trouble making up our minds, choosing an auspicious time can help us feel a bit more confident. But when we do what we want to do with good intentions and no hesitation, the significance of the "auspicious time" is far less important than the "human factor." Besides, once we've set things in motion, their direction will start to be influenced by new factors, and the initial small action you took will have little effect on them.

Oh, don't be so hard on yourself!

I'm sure you've been wondering if your matchmaking has worked out, and I totally get it! No matter how their relationship develops, there's no doubt that they're the protagonists of their own lives and that they're fully responsible for their choices and decisions.

You're not responsible for whether they get married or what happens to their relationship after marriage. You've simply provided them with a wonderful opportunity to get to know each other and make a choice.

I think that's right, don't you?

Besides, if we can't arrange a marriage for several months of the year, it would be so limiting! Wouldn't it be great to be more carefree and just do as we please?

Good day, host.

I am pleased to have this opportunity to discuss this topic with you.

After introducing a friend to someone, one may find that one has been deeply influenced by one's mother and some online comments that discourage acting as a matchmaker during the twelfth lunar month and the first lunar month. Despite knowing in one's heart that this is superstition, one may feel that one has done a disservice. One may then experience anxiety and feel pressure.

It seems plausible to suggest that the rationale behind the Chinese saying "the twelfth lunar month and the first lunar month are not suitable for matchmaking" may be linked to the timing of the Spring Festival, the most significant traditional holiday in China. It is widely acknowledged that a central aspect of the Spring Festival is visiting relatives and friends. Consequently, when two individuals have recently met and have yet to develop a profound emotional connection, if they were to suddenly visit each other's relatives and friends, it is likely that they would be overlooked by the other party's elders for various reasons. This could potentially lead to a significant reduction in the success rate of the matchmaking endeavour.

Nevertheless, it can be argued that meeting the relatives and friends of both parties represents a significant challenge in any relationship. This is an issue that will inevitably arise and, when confronted, it becomes evident that the underlying issue remains one of interpersonal dynamics rather than a matter of time.

The ancient Chinese based the lunar calendar on the synodic month because time itself has no inherent meaning. To facilitate the distinction and enumeration of periods of time, they assigned each a name and defined it. This is analogous to naming a cat or a dog. Even if one were to call a dog tofu, it would not alter its classification as a member of the class of vertebrates, the order of mammals, and the family of carnivores.

Those who adhere to the conviction that "matchmaking cannot be done in the twelfth lunar month or the first lunar month" may have succumbed to the allure of self-serving attribution bias.

Self-serving bias, also known as self-serving attribution bias, is a cognitive bias whereby individuals ascribe positive outcomes to internal factors and negative outcomes to external factors. In the context of positive outcomes, individuals tend to attribute their own behavior to internal factors, such as abilities, attitudes, and motives, while attributing the behavior of others to external factors, such as luck and circumstances. Conversely, in the context of negative outcomes, individuals tend to attribute their own behavior to external factors and ascribe the behavior of others to internal factors.

In the event of a relationship experiencing difficulties, individuals may attempt to justify the situation by attributing it to external factors. This may manifest as the blame being placed on circumstances, such as the timing of the matchmaking being unfavorable, or the belief that everything is predetermined and that the relationship is not meant to succeed. However, these explanations are merely a form of avoidance.

I recall that when I got married and planned a wedding, I informed my parents that they should simply select a weekend that was convenient for all attendees. Initially, this decision was driven by practical considerations. Additionally, it was crucial to avoid allowing arbitrary factors to become an excuse for the detrimental management of the relationship.

The aforementioned information is presented with the intention of providing a potential solution to alleviate the anxiety experienced by the reader.

Hello!

You were just trying to help someone find a partner, but it caused you a lot of trouble and worry. You really are not easy, so give yourself a hug!

As you can see, there are all kinds of sayings: the twelfth lunar month, the first lunar month, the sixth lunar month... If we believe in every saying, we'll be confused when we try to decide which one to follow. So we should ignore all these sayings because they're not reliable.

Many factors determine whether something will succeed, but there are simply too many of them for us to predict or control. This is why people develop superstitious ideas. Most of these ideas have no scientific basis and are formed by the delusions of certain people. If we take these as our life creed, we are leading the blind.

For example, when it comes to meeting someone, it is said that the main factor is whether the needs of the two people match. However, there are many complicated factors involved. The inner thoughts of the two people are beyond the understanding and control of others. As an introducer, we can at most play the role of a go-between. If we say that we are doing a good deed, we can only do it and then leave it aside. Whether it succeeds or not depends on their fate. If it succeeds, it is because they are destined to be together; if it doesn't succeed, it is because they are not destined to be together, and it has nothing to do with you. In this way, you will not be torn apart by these things.

To get rid of such superstitious thinking, you must first establish the ability to think logically, recognize the complexity of things, realize that there is more than one factor determining things, and that there is more than one way to approach a problem. You must learn to view problems dialectically, so as not to get caught up in a corner and understand things in a one-sided way.

Second, don't believe blindly. Learn to think rationally and test it in reality using scientific methods. Don't link together completely unrelated issues.

Learn to discover the objective laws of things. The more you understand, the less likely you are to be led astray by others.

Stay away from superstitious people. Before you lack the judgment of a highly intelligent person, take the initiative to stay away from those who are more superstitious. Listen to what they say with a discount and learn to distinguish.

Learn to manage your emotions. When you feel anxious, accept yourself and allow your emotions to pass slowly, so that they don't affect your life.

Take care of yourself before helping others. Good deeds require more than enthusiasm. You need wisdom, too. If something will cause you trouble, don't do it. Take care of yourself first.

I am confident that Hongyu's reply will be helpful to you. Thank you for your question!

This saying has no scientific basis. If there is no scientific basis, then there is no basis for the claim that blind dates in the twelfth lunar month are good or bad. This is superstition. It is something that needs to be guarded against.

When you feel anxiety, it's because you're facing unexpected and uncomfortable situations. You introduced someone to someone else, but your mother said you shouldn't do matchmaking during the first month of the lunar year. You started thinking about it, opening the door to a new world and making you keep flipping through the information.

The internet is a mixed bag for browsers, and just because something is said there doesn't mean it's true. Many people use idealism or unproven claims to make people think this doesn't work and that doesn't work. For example, someone saying mung beans can cure all diseases is outrageous.

You will even keep rethinking and be glad that the introduction was not the first month of the lunar year. However, if we search for a keyword, we will easily get a lot of similar results. Searching for "months when matchmaking is not allowed" will bring up a lot of information. This is what you need to be clear about.

Therefore, what other people say is incorrect and has no scientific basis. You are disadvantaged and passive by trusting these unfounded things. Get out of superstition now and take the necessary psychological test to understand your life. Adjust your personality if you are prone to following the crowd and taking things at face value. Talk to a coach about your thoughts.

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