Sophomore year, the guy is my classmate, how should I handle this relationship?

Hello!

I'd love to know how you feel when you think back to the time you spent with this guy.

You spent several years in your young and confused youth as "more than friends, less than lovers." It's so sad, but in the end, you both expressed your feelings for each other. Since you attended the same high school, you were sad that you didn't get into as good a school as your friends. Gradually, you focused more on school, which was a good choice!

In college, you went to different universities, and your partner also experienced the shock of his parents' divorce. You have seen a wider world, and you feel that your partner no longer feels the way he once did in your heart. It's okay to move on from a relationship when you feel like your partner no longer feels the same way about you. It's also okay to avoid conversations when you're feeling unsure about something.

You have so many fond memories of your time together, but it's also true that the relationship is being tested by reality. It's possible that neither of you is particularly good at expressing this part of you, and with the lack of communication and distance between you, as well as your emotional growth, you might choose to delete the other person.

Or are you hoping that your partner will do something to win you back and make you feel like your efforts were worthwhile?

So, should you deal with the relationship now? And do you still want to be with the other person?

I totally get it. It can be really hard to let go of years of emotional entanglement. And it's natural to feel like you'll never meet someone as devoted as he is (the ring incident).

You know, you can ask yourself what kind of relationship you want and whether the other person can satisfy you. If they can't meet your needs at this stage, you can always make changes to each other.

It might seem like a good idea to get back together, but if you haven't resolved the issues that have come between you, it might lead to the same hurt feelings all over again.

Hello, Topic Master. Your description reveals a clear inner conflict, frustration, disgust, and confusion.

It's clear that this male classmate has liked you for a while. He's been in contact with you from junior high school to university, and even gave you a ring in your second year of high school. He wants to develop the relationship further.

You also liked him in junior high school. You later realized that your feelings for him were distracting you from your studies, preventing you from getting into a good high school like everyone else.

You also feel that he isn't working hard enough and that you don't have a common language.

You feel guilty because you didn't draw for him and you liked other boys while you were in junior high school and hanging out with him. You also feel sorry for him because his parents are divorced and he didn't fail the college entrance exam.

On the other hand, you weren't admitted to the ideal high school because of your relationship, and you have complaints and resentment towards him.

I understand how you feel. It's exhausting when someone doesn't speak your language and drains your energy.

But deleting him like this makes you feel disloyal and guilty. Is that right?

Separate your issues from your classmates.

Your male classmates' expectations and feelings are their own thoughts and choices, and you are not responsible for them.

It is normal for adolescent boys and girls to have feelings for each other. This is not true love; it is simply mutual appreciation and fondness.

It's perfectly normal to have more than one person you like. You don't need to feel guilty or self-blame.

Similarly, you may believe that your relationship with this classmate prevented you from attending the high school of your dreams.

Every choice we make in life is our own, and there's no need to blame others.

You have a third option.

You know you don't appreciate and like him, and you know it's wrong to unilaterally delete him.

You have a third option.

Ask the boy out when it's convenient for you both. Talk openly and honestly about your feelings, and listen to each other's thoughts.

You don't have to choose between two options for your relationship. You can also choose to be just friends.

You can agree on what you both feel.

You must follow your heart's truest feelings and make your own choice.

I wish you the best!

Hello.

Host:

After carefully reading the post, it is evident that the poster is confused about the relationship. However, he has the courage to express his confusion and actively seeks help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help him understand himself better and know what he wants.

I will now share my observations and thoughts in the post, which will help the poster see things from a different perspective.

1. This classmate still satisfies some of your needs.

Wu Zhihong was right: we can't let go of someone or something because they've brought us benefits. The content of the post shows that this boy has fulfilled some of your needs.

For example, the post stated that he is good-looking and his appearance aligns with the poster's aesthetic preferences. He is also highly attentive and considers things from your perspective.

You two chat quite a bit and you've told each other you like each other.

These are the benefits that this boy has brought to the host. He has met some of the host's inner needs. As they grew up, the two people developed differently. They felt that they no longer had common topics to talk about.

The host is undoubtedly torn about the direction of the relationship.

2. You must decide what kind of relationship you want.

We often get stuck because we don't know what kind of relationship we want. Not knowing what we want means we don't know what to give up.

The original poster is now a junior, with a mature thinking system and sufficient knowledge. It's time to take a look at ourselves and explore what kind of relationship we really want.

You need to identify your core needs. The host can use this relationship to grow and find their core needs.

Then you'll know what you want and if the guy can meet your core needs. If he can, you can go on; if not, you need to let go of the possibility of developing a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with him.

The host is an adult and needs to explore what his needs are. He also needs to accept that he can't have everything. Nobody can fulfill all our fantasies and needs.

3. Relationships are a matter for two people.

We are all adults. The host should communicate with him to hear his thoughts and also tell him your thoughts. This will give you more ideas and ways to look at your relationship.

I believe that relationships are a matter for two people. As a guy, I prefer to be more open.

If you don't like it, say so. There's no need to be ambiguous. I understand how girls think. Many girls are afraid of hurting someone, so they just keep their distance.

I don't know what other guys like, but I know what I like, and I'm not afraid to say it. That also means I know when it's time to end the relationship. Any relationship is a dynamic process, and intimacy and separation are also part of the pattern.

I am Zeng Chen, a certified psychosynthesis coach, and I am confident that these words will be of some help and inspiration to the original poster.

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

You've known each other since elementary school, but you weren't in the same school in junior high. You started contacting each other again after you met. You've maintained a relationship even though you haven't been in the same school all the time.

He deleted his contact info in his sophomore year, which was probably because you were long-distance. Your relationship was based on appearance, and he didn't describe it in detail, so we don't know if he was dependent on you.

Not every long-distance relationship ends. It depends on how the two people maintain it. Being apart makes you get used to it, and the initial infatuation fades.

He didn't think he tried hard enough. They had nothing to talk about.

Find out the real reason.

The OP means he didn't try hard enough for the university entrance exam. His parents divorced when he was upset. He saw his parents' unhappy marriage.

How did the OP support him?

Did he fail the exam because he didn't work hard enough? Did the questioner see the sadness behind it?

You don't like the atmosphere and are afraid you'll be affected because you can't comfort him.

A relationship needs to be taken care of. If you don't keep in touch, you'll lose interest and won't know what the other person is interested in.

② Explain it clearly to the other person.

The questioner didn't say how he told the other person to end the relationship. Today, he will talk about this relationship because he has some regret. If you didn't make it clear at the beginning, you can make it clear to the other person in writing. Even if the other person already knows your attitude, you can still respect yourself and let the other person know that you can now face this matter and truly put an end to this relationship.

Know your needs.

The questioner has certain requirements for a partner. Perhaps you were too young to know your own needs. In your sophomore year, you felt that your partner was not making an effort, so you deleted his contact information.

You want a partner who is successful. You may have started out together because of appearance, but the more you get to know each other, the more you realize that you want more than just appearance.

You end the relationship because you know the other person can't meet your needs. When the next relationship comes along, you'll know how to choose.

I hope my answer helps. Best wishes.

Hello!

I'm a heart exploration coach, and I believe learning is the body's greatest treasure.

From what you've told me, I can see that you're feeling a bit unsure, confused and overwhelmed.

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of the issues you're having with your relationship with this guy, but I do have three suggestions for you:

First, I suggest you ask yourself why you're now struggling to figure out how to handle your relationship with this male classmate.

You mentioned the process of your relationship from elementary school to college, and you deleted him in your sophomore year. So why do you want to know how to handle this relationship now that you're a junior?

Is it because you thought about the earrings and ring he gave you and felt he had a good impression of you, so you want to get in touch with him to see if that impression is still there? Or is it because you felt a bit impulsive when you deleted him, so you want to get in touch with him again, but you're worried that he won't want to get in touch with you anymore? Or is it for some other reason? Anyway, you have to figure out why you thought about him again now that you're in your third year of university and want to know how to handle the relationship.

You'll only be able to find an answer when you know the reason.

Second, I suggest you think about the reasons you've found in a logical way.

A rational perspective helps you understand yourself and reality better.

To make sense of this, you need to do two things:

One thing to keep in mind is that to handle this relationship well, you'll need to make some changes and take action.

You're the one who's confused, torn, and hesitant right now. If you want to resolve the situation, you need to change first.

Second, remember that sometimes the answer is only going to come after you take action.

In other words, if you want to know how to handle the relationship, you need to contact him first. Otherwise, you'll never get the answer you're looking for.

If you look at it rationally, some of those negative emotions might start to fade.

Once again, I suggest you focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you think about it rationally, you might also know what to do. At this point, you focus on yourself and try your best to do a good job.

For instance, you could try to get his contact info, chat with him, and then you'll probably know how to handle the relationship based on your communication.

If you chat with him and find out that he still likes you and is single, and you also have a good feeling about him (because you thought he wasn't trying hard enough and you didn't have any common topics to talk about), then you can treat the relationship as romantic.

If you get in touch with him and he no longer likes you after chatting, and you don't have strong feelings for him either, but you can still chat, then you can treat the relationship as a friendship.

If you try to contact him but he doesn't want to talk to you anymore, you have to let it go and stop expecting anything from the relationship. You've already put in the effort and done your best, etc. In short, you have to know that you can only know how to handle the relationship if you take action first.

When you start taking action, all kinds of negative emotions in your heart will naturally be resolved slowly. Sometimes, taking action is the best way to deal with negative emotions.

I hope my answer helps. If you want to talk more, just click "Find a coach" at the bottom and we can chat one-on-one.

The relationship appears to be progressing in a somewhat circuitous and volatile manner. The two individuals initially met in elementary school, where they were the subject of rumors and jokes in junior high school. They subsequently attended different schools. They exchanged software numbers and developed a positive sentiment towards each other, engaging in sustained communication to strengthen their relationship.

Our capacity for sustained attention is limited. If one's attention is divided by competing demands, it is unlikely that one will perform well on an examination. This is a probable outcome, particularly for those seeking admission to an elite educational institution.

It is advisable to allow oneself to make the necessary reconciliation.

You were not enrolled in the same secondary school, and you aspired to attend a superior institution with your closest friend. You experienced a sense of disappointment, but then you gained admission to a more esteemed university, which may be a period of accelerated growth and achievement.

Subsequently, the stud earrings and ring that the boy gave you seem to serve as a reminder of him, yet ultimately, the relationship did not progress. You eventually discerned his evasive personality traits, which ultimately led to the dissolution of the relationship. This outcome may be attributed to your disapproval of his character and outlook on life.

It is now apparent that the other person may lack motivation, which is a crucial factor in a relationship. If it is evident that the person you desire is driven, it is vital to recognize when to disengage. Your expectations are not readily apparent, so it is advisable to take the Love Background Psychological Test to gain insight into your own motivations and to consult with a Heart Exploration coach.

Please clarify the question.