The cheating husband returns to the family, and he is struggling internally. How should he face it?

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a conflictual and helpless state of mind.

As a counselor, I would like to present my understanding of this situation from a psychological perspective.

The question posed is as follows:

What is the appropriate response to the return of a husband who has been unfaithful to his wife to the family unit?

After a decade of marriage, my husband was unfaithful. He elected to resume his relationship with his family and embark on a new life, whereas I chose to forgive in order to safeguard the family, the children, and myself.

However, I am unable to accept the idea of a conjugal life. In fact, I am keen to do so, but when the time comes, I am paralysed. I want to push my husband away, but I am unable to act. I am experiencing internal conflict.

What is the recommended course of action in this situation?

The conscious mind is amenable to the idea of the husband's return to the family, yet the heart remains reluctant to accept his infidelity, resulting in a state of internal conflict.

How might one resolve the internal conflict?

The initial step is to gain a deeper understanding of oneself. This entails identifying one's character traits.

What are your expectations of an intimate relationship? What is your mode of communication and interaction with your husband in your family relationship?

It is essential to be conscious of and contemplate one's own actions and motivations. What factors contribute to the emergence of conflict in the relationship? The individual in question elected to engage in infidelity, yet he could have chosen to pursue psychological counseling to gain insight into the underlying unconscious conflicts that precipitated the conflict.

Secondly, it is important to accept oneself, including acknowledging one's strengths and weaknesses.

In the context of adversity, it is essential to identify one's strengths, such as tolerance, kindness, and responsibility. Conversely, one's weaknesses can be defined as the self-imposed limitations that impede the expression of grievances, anger, and emotions. The relationship between husband and wife is a crucial aspect of life, and the desire for a harmonious marriage is a universal aspiration. However, the reality is that challenges and conflicts are an inherent part of any relationship. Disagreements and conflicts in life can also intensify marital discord. Negotiation and discussion are essential tools for resolving these issues.

Thirdly, it is imperative to cultivate self-love. If one's previous focus was on their family and spouse, it is now essential to shift the focus to one's inner self. This enables the individual to learn to effectively manage stress, engage in activities that promote comfort and relaxation, provide care for their children, communicate their emotions, identify resources, and achieve a sense of relaxation and emotional stability. Only when these conditions are met can one truly excel in their desired endeavours.

It is imperative that you learn to love yourself, understand yourself, accept yourself, and pay closer attention to your inner needs. This will enable you to be better at being yourself and to rebuild a safe and stable intimate relationship and create a harmonious and harmonious family atmosphere.

Good morning. I extend my warmest regards from afar.

I am pleased to see that you have requested assistance and hope that my input will provide you with the support and guidance you require.

As you can see, you are not yet prepared to accept your husband's infidelity. His actions have caused you to feel betrayed, unwanted, unloved, and angry.

While the matter itself is concluded, residual distressing emotions and feelings may persist. When one's decision to accept one's husband is driven primarily by a desire to safeguard the child and maintain an intact family, rather than personal gain, it can foster a sense of moral superiority when confronted with the prospect of one's unfaithful spouse's return. This can lead to feelings of resentment, as one may perceive themselves as making significant personal sacrifices.

As an adult, you must understand that your choice to accept your husband was not made because of your children. It was a decision you made after careful consideration. While it is possible that you considered your children, they must not have been the determining factor in your choice and decision.

Only when you can take responsibility for your own choices will you not feel particularly aggrieved when facing a cheating husband returning to the family. Of course, you will also accept that you cannot fully accept him at the moment, given that he has hurt you. However, you can share your true feelings with your husband and let him know that it will take some time for you to accept him again. During this period, you require more acceptance, understanding, and tolerance from him.

From your description, it is evident that you are not physically rejecting your husband. This indicates a level of emotional intimacy between you. However, your psychological rejection and resistance to him may be an unconscious form of punishment. By refusing to have sex with him, you are essentially forcing him to recognize the consequences of his actions.

It is accurate to conclude that he will experience a degree of guilt and self-blame in response to your rejection and resistance. However, it is also important to recognize that your actions may potentially lead to him being pushed away once more. This could result in him feeling that you still hold negative sentiments towards him and that you are unable to forgive him.

Please provide your thoughts on this matter.

It is important to understand that your husband's infidelity is not the result of the conflicts in your marriage, but rather a symptom of them. In other words, you need to use your husband's infidelity as an opportunity to become aware of the potential crisis and conflict that has long existed in your marriage, but that you may not have been aware of. By doing so, you can gain the insight and knowledge necessary to better handle this part of your marriage, ensuring a more harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Otherwise, your harmonious marriage will only be temporary. What are your thoughts on this matter?

My name is Lily, and I am a devoted listener of the Q&A Museum. I extend my sincerest regards to the entire world.