The college entrance exam is approaching, and I have a broken right finger bone. I'm in a bad mood. What should I do?

Hello, question asker! It's like seeing you in person when I read your words.

After reading this short description carefully, I would like to first give you an understanding of your current situation: originally, traveling outside should be a pretty enjoyable thing. However, your mother's anger has caused you physical harm, affecting your mood during the trip and triggering your anxiety about preparing for the exam. The emotional fluctuations in this process are not so easy to calm down, but you can do it!

Once you've had a little time to recover, let's try to relieve these two things separately based on your description. I'm sure we can help you!

I'm so excited to hear more about your journey! I remember you mentioning that you're taking the college entrance exam this year. That's so impressive! But I also heard that you had a little mishap while traveling recently. I'm sorry to hear that your mother got angry and hit you, breaking your little finger on your right hand. What I'd love to know more about is:

1. What led to the lively discussion between you and your mother?

2. What made your mother angry?

I know that during the argument with your mother, she hit you and broke the little finger on your right hand. You are in pain, and because it will take a long time to heal, you are slow and ugly when writing, and you may not finish the exam. You are very annoyed when you see how far behind you are. But don't worry! After sorting through everything, I want to tell you that all the feelings you have experienced throughout this process are normal. The good news is that for now, the most important thing we can do that will have the shortest-term effect is to calm down and heal. Once you have healed, you can start studying hard!

Yes, it is not easy to adjust, but you can do it! Rather than letting anxiety attack you endlessly, take action and feel the pain and negative emotions fade faster. When the pain and negative emotions gradually fade in the process of taking action, your inner strength will be stimulated. Once your inner strength is stimulated, you will have the ability to draw a clear line with anxiety. You can do this!

Honey, it's already happened. Mom argued with you and even got angry and hit you. She did the wrong thing, so she should deal with her own emotions. You passively became the vessel for her emotions. —But you are very brave, and you externalize your emotional feelings very clearly. You have done very well under the attack of [annoyance] and [anxiety]! You did great!

This was an amazing emotional release! And the fact that you were able to come to the platform for help when you were being attacked by [annoyance] and [anxiety] just goes to show how much you know how to take care of yourself.

You've got this! Whether it's the mock exams after the start of the semester or this year's college entrance exam, just do your best!

Take it easy and recover slowly, both physically and mentally, as well as in your studies. Just remember to take it one step at a time and don't get impatient!

I absolutely believe you can do it!

I hope you're doing great!

Hello, question owner!

I give you a warm hug! It's the second day of the Chinese New Year, and I'm so excited for you! You had a bit of a rough time with your mother, but you're on the mend. I know you're thinking about the upcoming college entrance examination, and I'm here to tell you that you can absolutely crush it! The recovery period from a broken bone won't affect your performance in the college entrance examination. You're going to be just fine! I don't know if you're a boy or a girl, but from your writing, I can tell that you're a cautious person with a sense of independence. You're going to do great!

I can totally picture what your childhood was like when your mom, despite you being all grown up and it being the New Year, still tried to subdue your will by force.

[Break out of learned helplessness and boost your sense of self-efficacy]

The immediate problem is that we need to look beyond the surface to the essence. The main contradiction you see at the moment is the impending and severe college entrance exam, and the contradiction between this and your inability to express yourself. You are infinitely amplifying the threat and power of the object, as well as your own flaws and incompetence, which is why you have a very strong sense of helplessness. This kind of psychology does not arise by chance; in psychology, it is called "learned helplessness." But there is a solution!

Professor Martin Seligman, a famous psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, calls this state "learned helplessness." All feelings of powerlessness are learned, that is, they are acquired, not an innate natural response. It is a feeling of powerlessness that we slowly develop in the midst of life and experience. It is a feeling that nothing we do seems to help, that nothing seems to be able to be done. At this time, a sense of powerlessness slowly develops. But there's good news! We can change this feeling.

The good news is that since powerlessness is a learned experience, it can also be changed through learning. We can cultivate and restore our sense of power and self-efficacy!

The questioner has high standards and strict requirements for themselves in their studies, and they must have achieved very good results in the past. However, this process has never been smooth sailing. Unhappiness in relationships with classmates can affect mood, and the occasional headache or fever can affect performance. Including three years of online classes will affect efficiency. I believe the questioner must be a very strong and self-disciplined person who has overcome external influences and achieved results that make them happy. Young people have good physical fitness and recover quickly, so they'll be ready to take on whatever comes their way!

My son cut his index finger bone at home alone during the Chinese New Year last year, and it felt like it was completely healed in a month or so! It'll be a while before school starts, but it'll be well worth the wait. The doctor handled it well, you rested well, and it will grow back quickly after school starts.

So there's no need to worry! A physical "fracture" can be easily recovered, and it's important to address the psychological sense of defeat as well. The good news is that it can be healed as soon as possible!

You absolutely can rise to the challenge!

Reconciling with your family of origin is an important and exciting topic that everyone needs to face in their lives.

This sense of helplessness actually began as early as the moment you and your mother had a fight that ended with you getting physically injured. You were unable to gain recognition, acceptance, and approval from your mother, and this sense of frustration was the source of learned helplessness. Your mother did not notice that you were approaching adulthood and still treated you in a way that was appropriate for a child.

I can understand how upsetting this is. You must feel unbearable anger and hurt. This is followed by excessive worry and even anxiety about the possibility of something bad happening in the future. But don't worry! You can beat this.

According to psychoanalytic theory, your anxiety is closer to Oedipal anxiety or superego anxiety, which includes the fear of being punished for unacceptable challenges (sexual, aggressive, and dependent impulses). This anxiety does not threaten realistic perception and self-identity, but it will seriously damage one's "sense of perfection." This is your chance to face your fears and become the best version of yourself! You can ace that mock exam and write beautifully and quickly.

Nobody is perfect, and in your growth process, you encountered your mother's immature treatment. No doubt, your mother also encountered the same experience in her growth process. Because her parenting model comes from her original family, which means she has the potential to grow and change just like you do!

I don't know if you watched this year's Spring Festival Gala, but I was blown away by Huang Qishan's song "Whether Mom or Daughter." The lyrics really resonated with me: "If letting go is a lesson, then mom never took the test in her life." You can find a way to heal any emotions you can express. I'm curious, how do you process the feelings you don't express? The college entrance exam is the first battle you face in life. This battle requires all-round support from your family: material, emotional, and care for your daily life. I hope that while you recover physically as soon as possible, you can also quickly regain your connection and intimacy with your mother psychologically.

You can do this! Unite all your forces and win this tough battle and enter the next stage of your life.

I'm Zhang Huili, the Sunshine Dolphin! I'm so excited to answer your question. If you find it useful, please give it a like! I wish you the best of luck in the new year and I'm sure you'll be crowned with laurels very soon!

Hello, question owner!

I've read your description of the problem and I totally get where you're coming from. It's so hard when something like this happens right before the college entrance exam. It's natural to feel powerless and helpless. I'm sending you lots of hugs!

So, what can we do to make things a little better? Let me share my thoughts based on my own experience!

First, accept the impermanence of life with an open mind. I think you, who are in your senior year of high school, should know that our lives are full of uncertainty. Especially after the three years of trials and tribulations of this pandemic, we have come to understand the difficulty and impermanence of life. Let's not talk about the long term, just look at the pandemic of these past two months, how it has changed the lives of so many families. Although the situation we are currently experiencing is related to a fight with my mother, it was also something that we did not expect before the trip. When we were fighting, we did not expect this outcome either. If I had known that this was the situation, I don't think my mother would have gotten so angry!

This is a bit of a surprise, but since it's happened, let's just go with it.

Second, try to think this way: having a broken finger means that you will have difficulty writing for now, and you will write ugly and slowly. But this situation really won't last long. You said it yourself, it's only one to two months, and during these one to two months, it will definitely get better gradually. In other words, after you start school, it will be half a month, right? Then, every other week when there is an exam, you will be much better, and it definitely won't be as bad as it is now.

I think we can also think like this: at this stage, if we study hard, we will be able to do well when we face the exam. However, because of the injury, we cannot write as fast as usual, so our speed has been affected. What about the questions we know? They have affected our grades, and may cause our grades to drop compared to the past. But after our hand recovers, how can we write down everything we know on the exam paper quickly and well, so that our grades will not improve rapidly?

So, there's really no need to worry! All we need to do is structure, systematize, and integrate our knowledge, and learn with our hearts to experience the feeling of flow!

And finally, persevere in practice! If you can really change your mind and know that your current efforts will definitely not be in vain, after your finger bone is completely healed, you will definitely make up for the results that you could not show during the injury period. You've got this!

Then, set a goal for yourself. For example, you could aim to get a score in the first exam of the school year, and then set the next one 20 points higher than this score. Then, for the next exam the following week, set another goal. I think you will definitely achieve it, because our first share is gradually getting better. So, in the future, practice this idea, believe in yourself, and you will definitely be able to get better grades each time. I'm sure your college entrance exam will go as you wish, and even exceed your expectations!

Come on, students, the world and I love you so much!

Hello, classmate. Let me give you a warm hug first.

We have read your words and understand the current state of your classmate. The following are for your reference:

1. I took the college entrance exam this year, and recently I fractured my little finger while traveling and arguing with my mother. It will take about one to two months for the fracture to heal. At the moment, I feel that my handwriting is slow and ugly, and I am concerned that I may not finish the weekly mock exams after school starts, which will affect my exam results and make me feel irritable.

Students must accept the current situation and face it head on. Instead of worrying about the future, we must find ways to do what we can in the present.

The college entrance exam is in June, so when we take it, we can resume taking it normally. This is not necessarily a bad thing. We can change our perspective. For example, we can find a way to solve our writing problems. We can also think of solutions with our teachers or friends. There are always more solutions than problems.

2. Your handwriting doesn't matter. What matters is knowing your level of knowledge. Find the points you don't know and review and test at your own pace. Don't let anything affect your emotions or disrupt your rhythm.

I remember that once, I had a bruised and swollen thumb from playing ball. Later, I had a final project that I completed with my left hand. I didn't use a pen, I used a manual cutter. At first, I thought I would never be able to finish it because I had never used my left hand before. But I did it anyway, and you will also find a way to overcome and complete your current learning tasks.

3. During the period before the college entrance examination, you must adjust your emotions. Controlling your emotions does not mean that they will disappear. You must also learn to release your emotions, such as through exercising or listening to music, and never let your emotions accumulate. When you can adjust your emotions, you will have the energy to better plan and execute your own plans.

Set clear, phased goals for yourself and believe in yourself. There are always solutions, and we can think of them from multiple perspectives. Our mindset affects the outcome.

Our most important task right now is the college entrance exam, so we need to keep moving towards that goal.

I know the above will be inspiring and rewarding for you. I look forward to meeting a better you, and the world loves you with us.

Hello, I'm a counselor, and I'm happy to answer your question.

If you broke your finger, it would take a month or two to heal. You're worried that you'll lag behind in the test scores because there will be mock tests every week in your senior year.

The mock exam is not the real one, and there are 4-5 months before it. Our fingers will have recovered by then, so it won't affect our performance.

What's really bothering you? My guess is that

1. Bad grades will make people think you aren't trying hard.

2. If you don't prepare for the mock exams, it might affect your state of mind during the college entrance exam.

3. I wasn't in the right frame of mind during the mock exams. I'm worried I missed some key points.

Is there something else?

If I'm right, these problems can be solved. You can't lose your strength just because you write more slowly.

Your parents will understand. I bet they're regretting it now.

You may feel down, but as long as you keep studying, you will finish. Focus on the things you don't know and get them right in the next mock exams.

This process is very stressful. You are under a lot of pressure and it is hard to stay strong. It is hard for a senior in high school to deal with this.

I think there's a deeper reason for your upset. You're indirectly protesting against your mother for her violent behavior towards you, which is causing you to suffer. If your college entrance exam results are unsatisfactory, your mother will also bear responsibility.

If you think that way, it seems like you're punishing yourself for someone else's mistakes. It's a lose-lose situation. I could be being paranoid, though.

If I'm right, we shouldn't use the exam results to protest against our mother. Now is the best time to express our feelings about her. After that, we won't let our emotions affect the exam. As you said, it is, after all, the exam, and its importance cannot be overstated. And doesn't our mother regret her impulsiveness now?

Good luck on the exam! I hope you get what you want.

Good morning, my name is Xin Tan and I'm Coach Fei Yun. I wish you all the best for the year ahead.

I can sense your anxiety and concern. Due to the injury to your right hand, it will take 1-2 months to heal, and the upcoming college entrance examination this year has caused you some concern. Let me offer you a warm embrace, and let's share and discuss together.

1. Your commitment to excellence will be reflected in your performance.

The college entrance examination is a significant event in the life of every student, as it has the potential to shape an individual's entire future. It is therefore understandable that students devote considerable attention to this event. Your positive attitude, determination, and ambition are commendable.

You are scheduled to take the college entrance exam this year, with only four to five months remaining. However, your broken bone will require an additional one to two months of recovery, which has introduced a sense of urgency in the context of the impending exam, which is inherently stressful.

2. All occurrences must be viewed as potentially beneficial.

It is important to recognize that every situation has two sides. Even challenging circumstances can be viewed as potential advantages. For instance, you have a more comprehensive understanding of time than ever before. This allows you to utilize the "beginning is the end" method to reverse-calculate from the college entrance exam date to the present. This enables you to refine your review plan for each month, each week, and even each day.

Furthermore, you have indicated that mock exams will be held on a weekly basis, and that you are unable to write due to an injured finger. This presents a challenge. However, there is also an opportunity for a positive outcome.

If you lack an advantage in this area, you may feel that you will fall behind other students. To avoid this, you can seek out ways to excel in other areas, such as improving your memorization skills and becoming more familiar with the subject matter.

Mock exams and writing practice questions are just one way to demonstrate the effectiveness of your learning. As the adage goes, "The more you read, the better you write." Only when you have mastered the knowledge you have learned can you write it out quickly and accurately. Therefore, writing is just a result, while learning and mastering are the key processes.

3. A few suggestions for your consideration:

Engaging in a 10-minute meditation session on a daily basis can enhance your capacity to meditate. The college entrance examination assesses an individual's overall capabilities, encompassing not only academic knowledge but also psychological attributes and stress resilience.

Meditation can assist in the discovery of your intrinsic wisdom. It may appear as though you are investing approximately ten minutes daily in activities that are not directly related to your studies, but the impact is significant.

When experiencing feelings of nervousness or anxiety, it is important not to suppress these emotions. Instead, it is beneficial to remain aware of them and recognize that your concerns are largely rooted in a sense of uncertainty about the future. By identifying and understanding the emotional needs behind your emotions, such as the need for "security" and "control," you can gradually let go of these feelings.

It is more beneficial to focus on what can be done in the present to improve future outcomes than to dwell on potential negative outcomes. By returning to the present, it is possible to effectively manage a range of concerns and anxieties.

I believe my mother deeply regrets the situation. Through training and meditation, she has learned to maintain a calm demeanor as she prepares for the college entrance exam this year. This not only helps her to approach each day of intense review with composure, but it also provides her with a sense of assurance.

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards, [Your name] [Your title]

Should you wish to continue communicating, please click on the "Find a Coach" link, which can be found in the top right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will then be able to communicate with you and work with you on an individual basis.

Hello, question asker.

From what you've shared, I can sense your inner anxiety. It's admirable that you've taken the initiative to come here and seek a solution to your problem.

You mentioned that you took the college entrance exam this year. Before that, when you were traveling, my mother had a disagreement with you. My mother hurt your hand and you need a recovery period of one to two months. During this period, your writing speed may be slower than usual, right? The exam may be challenging for you to complete, and you may feel discouraged when you see that you are falling behind. After school starts, there will be mock exams every week, and you may feel a bit overwhelmed. You are about to take the college entrance exam, and you may feel a little anxious and panicky. Is that right?

In your description, you mentioned feeling a bit sad when you realize you're not keeping up with the pace. With winter break now underway, I'm wondering if you're feeling concerned about falling behind in the mock exams after school resumes. I'd like to gently encourage you to distinguish between whether this is a reality or a perception.

From what you've shared, it seems like you're invested in the college entrance exam and the outcomes of each exam. This shows that you're highly motivated and have a strong work ethic.

The college entrance exam is in June next year, and you will have a recovery period of 1 to 2 months. During this time, it might be helpful to consider adjusting your mentality, calming down, and concentrating on studying and reviewing. This could potentially support you in achieving your dream.

Based on your description, I wonder if I might make a few suggestions to help you adjust your mindset.

It might be helpful to consider seeking support from external resources.

The pressure of the approaching college entrance exam is already significant, and this unfortunate event has understandably caused you to feel more anxious. It would be beneficial for you to try to adjust your state of mind during this period of time, so that you can devote yourself to your studies and ignore some of your negative emotions. If you are unable to regulate your emotions on your own, you might consider asking your parents to help you find external resources, such as a psychological counselor. These professionals can use their expertise to help you adjust your state of mind and perceptions, which could help you feel more calm.

You might also consider using positive mental suggestions.

It's understandable that the college entrance exam may be a significant source of concern for you, given its potential bearing on your future. However, it's also important to recognize that excessive worry and preoccupation with the exam can lead to heightened anxiety and a tendency to dwell on negative thoughts. If you're seeking to shift your perspective, you might consider incorporating positive psychological techniques to counteract these negative emotions. One approach could be to incorporate daily practices, such as waking up with a positive mindset, going to bed with a sense of accomplishment, and self-encouragement through positive affirmations. You could also engage in activities that promote relaxation and calm, such as meditation or breathing exercises. By doing so, you can help shift your focus away from negative emotions and towards a more positive outlook.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider a shift in focus from overthinking to taking action.

It is not uncommon to experience negative emotions when unexpected events occur. In such instances, it may be helpful to take a step back and focus on more constructive activities, such as taking additional mock exams. While grades are not the ultimate determinant of success, they do provide a measure of accountability. By demonstrating your ability to handle the college entrance exam effectively, you can alleviate some of the pressure and anxiety that might otherwise impede your progress. This approach could potentially enhance your performance in the actual exam.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to believe in yourself.

I believe you may be experiencing some doubt, and I understand that you are hoping to achieve your ideal score on the college entrance exam. Despite some minor setbacks, I encourage you to believe that with your willingness and dedication, you will be able to accomplish your goal.

I understand that many people have not personally experienced what you are going through and cannot truly empathize. However, I still want to encourage you to recognize that you are the expert in solving your own problems. It may be helpful to become more aware of why you feel a certain way, what factors are behind those feelings, and then clarify what you want for yourself and move forward with determination towards your goal.

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach. Everything is easy. You're about to take the college entrance exam, your right finger is broken, and you're feeling irritable. What should you do?

You are taking the college entrance exam this year. The day before yesterday, you had a fight with your mother. She hit you, breaking your little finger. It will probably take one to two months to heal, which will make it hard for you to write. You may not finish the exam. You are worried about the weekly mock exams after school starts. You don't know what to do, and you are worried that the college entrance exam will be affected. I will try to answer your questions.

The questioner is worried because the injury to his finger has limited his learning. He thinks that his weekly mock exams and college entrance exam scores will be affected. Your worry stems from anxiety about the future and the fear that your studies will be affected.

Cognitive therapy says that how we react to something is based on what we think about it, not the thing itself.

When you feel bad, think about what you're worrying about. Are your worries real? Record your thoughts to help you understand them better.

1. Record when, where, and what happened.

2⃣ Record how you feel. Use emotional words to describe how your body reacts and what you do.

3⃣ Record your negative thoughts.

Then, evaluate your thoughts.

Is there another explanation?

2. What's the worst that could happen? How will you respond? What's the best result? What's the most realistic result?

3. What proof is there that your thoughts will happen, and what proof is there that they won't?

4. What if you believe in your thoughts? What if you don't?

5. What would you say to your best friend if they had the same thoughts?

6. How would you cope?

Thoughts are just thoughts, not facts. When you have bad thoughts, say "I have a thought" or "I think." This helps you tell your thoughts from facts.

I hope the original poster recovers soon. It takes time to recover from an illness, so stay negative for a while, take it in, and do things as usual.

You can do breathing exercises, meditation, and exercise to help relieve pressure and anxiety.

Click below to find a coach, chat with me, or get one-on-one help. Good luck!

Hello!

From your question, I can see that you have now developed a bit of a rebellious streak because your mother is strict with you. I can also see that your mother may have a certain amount of frustration with your travel plans, so she has these behaviors towards you. I can understand your feelings of being wronged, hurt, and sad, and I can understand your feelings of worrying that you won't be able to take the exam.

The great thing about traveling is that there's no right or wrong way to do it. We're currently preparing for exams, so traveling at this time might affect our learning progress. But I want to help her do this kind of thing, and I also hope that you can study hard and get good grades so you can vent your anger through this kind of behavior.

I've got some great advice for you!

[1] It's time to start paying attention to your emotions and needs!

It's so important to be able to feel the hurt and examine our own feelings. It's also essential to understand that everyone has their own ideas about things. Emotions can sometimes control us, but we can learn to be self-satisfied by seeing what we want to learn and what our needs are.

[2] Get to know your mother's actions!

You may not understand the meaning of your mother's actions right now, but when you become a parent, you'll be able to do the same thing to your child, or even better! Learn to understand, see what we do from his point of view, and you'll understand why she did it.

[3] It's time to heal properly and learn to care for yourself!

It's time to discover what you need, learn to care for yourself, and heal yourself properly! Embrace your emotions and understand that learning is a journey of seeking relationships. Take your time and enjoy the process. If there's something you don't understand, dive in with an open mind. And don't forget to heal your wounds properly. You've got this!

Wishing you the very best!