The dormitory is very noisy during the lunch break, and I want to sleep. How do I express this?

Good day, question asker! I am Warm-hearted Girl 1219, and I am honored to have this opportunity to address your question on the Yi Xinli platform.

From your description, I understand that you are very tired from work and want to continue working in the afternoon before going back to the dormitory to get some sleep. However, your roommate's video is very loud, and although you have expressed your needs, it seems that your roommate has not yet responded in a way that shows understanding.

Perhaps you began to blame yourself, wondering if there was something wrong with the way you expressed yourself. It's possible that neither you nor your roommate is at fault, but rather, there's a lack of understanding and tolerance.

The dormitory is a small society. If you and your roommate want to get along well, it would be beneficial to work together, understand each other, and be tolerant of each other.

It would be helpful to try to understand your roommate better.

It's possible that your roommate is feeling a bit down and is looking for a way to relax and unwind. Everyone deserves a moment to recharge, and the dormitory is a great place for that.

I'm not sure how your relationship normally is, but if it's just so-so, you might want to think about doing something to improve it.

☀️ When she needs help, offer your assistance. She may remember your kindness. People often overlook the small things, but they do remember when someone is there for them.

It would be helpful to express yourself tactfully so that your roommates can understand you.

☀️ It's important to remember that your roommates are not at work, and you are the only one who has a hard time, having to commute to work every day.

When you get back to the dormitory, you feel that your roommate's video sound is a bit loud and you wonder if you might ask her to turn it down a little. You could express your needs in a tactful way like this:

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but I'm a bit tired from work and have to go back in the afternoon. I'd like to lie down on the bed and rest for a while so that I can be refreshed in the afternoon.

If it isn't too much trouble, could you possibly turn the volume down a little? I really appreciate your understanding!

"

I believe that if your roommate hears your polite request, and they are reasonable, they will understand you and turn down the volume on their own. You can try this approach.

I hope you and your roommate can get along.

I hope you and your roommate can get along and build a harmonious dormitory together!

Dear Questioner,

From your description, it is evident that you require rest due to your imminent obligation to attend work. However, your roommate continues to engage in loud speech. Following your articulation of your needs, the other individual does not offer a correction, which causes you considerable distress and frustration. You are uncertain about the most effective means of expressing your feelings, but I am able to comprehend your situation, and I extend a gesture of support from a distance.

Such situations are not uncommon, and I have previously experienced them. However, if one does not express oneself, others will continue to dominate the conversation. When one articulates their needs and is met with respect and constructive feedback, it demonstrates that the other person is understanding. Conversely, if the other person does not alter their behavior, it indicates a lack of respect, which can lead to discomfort.

In this situation, it is recommended that you directly express your feelings and needs. You may say to your roommate, "I require rest at this time, so I hope you can maintain a low noise level." If your roommate is considerate, it is likely that they will respect your wishes and act accordingly.

It is also the case that some individuals do not respect their roommates. In such a situation, it is necessary to speak up and express one's needs. If the other person does not respect us, we can communicate with the roommate privately and inquire as to whether they have any thoughts or emotions about us. We can then communicate and resolve the situation in a positive manner. It is likely that your roommate will understand your feelings and make changes.

The courage required to bravely express one's feelings and needs may necessitate a lengthy process. However, if one consistently suppresses their actions and thoughts, the outcome may not be favorable. It is imperative to develop the skill of openly expressing one's thoughts and emotions as adults. Additionally, it is essential to prioritize one's feelings and needs, learn effective communication, and respect others.

It is my hope that this response is of some assistance.

Hello, host!

You've already taken the initiative to work part-time, and your roommate's behavior has made it difficult for you to get a good night's rest. It's clear that you're struggling to communicate effectively.

Your roommate should be considerate and not disturb your rest. You and your roommate have emotions, and behind every emotion is a need. Does your roommate also have needs of you? For example, you work part-time and come home late, disturbing her rest.

She wants to spend time with you, but because you work part-time, she can't confide in you.

You should communicate with her from this perspective and find a time when both of you are emotionally stable. I cherish our relationship. Do you need me to do something for you?

Tell me, have you been unhappy lately? I'm also sad that you're in a bad mood. I'd like to know if you'd like to share it with me.

I expect we will have a very happy dormitory relationship.

If he's the kind of sarcastic roommate himself, it means he has a relationship with his parents as a child where he assumed the role of parent and they assumed the role of child.

She will find her own sense of superiority through sarcasm and ridicule of you, or by denigrating you in front of others. If this is the kind of person, my advice is simple: don't argue with her, don't defend yourself, don't get involved, and don't question. Just do your own thing.

If she speaks loudly, put on some headphones. These are all solutions.

I have helped you, and I am confident that I have made the world a better place for you to live in.

Hello, host. I hope my answer helps.

I used to be like you. I was afraid of ruining relationships.

This is tiring, but we often have lots of thoughts and doubts, while the other person doesn't think anything. As you said, she may not have heard you. People hope others will accept and like them, and when we make a request, others will make some adjustments.

Make sure the other person hears your message and doesn't feel attacked. This kind of communication can express your needs without making the other person feel uncomfortable.

Here are some tips:

1. When we express ourselves, we make sure the other person hears and understands our needs.

In the situation you described, you asked her to speak quieter, but you didn't feel your voice got any quieter.

She didn't hear it or pretended not to. We don't know if that's true.

When we express ourselves, we need to make sure the other person hears us.

For example, you can call her name or walk up to her and say, "So-and-so, I need to go to work this afternoon and want to take a nap at noon. Please turn the volume of your phone down or wear headphones. I'll only sleep for half an hour. Thanks for your understanding!"

If you express your needs and requests without accusing or complaining, the other person will understand.

2. Learn to separate issues and take responsibility for your own.

To handle relationships, learn to distinguish between your issues and others'. Take responsibility for your life and don't let others' issues affect you.

How do you tell the difference?

How do you tell the difference?

The person who does something is the one who has to deal with the consequences.

The person who deals with the consequences of an action is the one who bears them.

For example, in the case you mentioned, you can choose to continue reminding her until she hears it and complaining about her behavior; you can also choose to fall asleep, but feel resentful towards her because you have suppressed your emotions; you can also choose to kindly express your needs and listen to the other person's needs and feelings. No matter which one you choose, you need to bear the consequences of your choice.

Nothing is perfect, but we must make our own decisions. We must accept the consequences. This makes it easier to choose and reduces internal conflict.

3. Be confident and true to yourself in your relationships.

If we are always submissive in our relationships, it means we are not confident. I used to be like that, always putting myself in a difficult position.

If we don't express our needs, they will become anger and blame. We have other options. We need to express our needs in a reasonable way. If we don't, the other person will misunderstand us.

If you don't say anything after speaking louder, she won't know you're bothered by the noise. She'll just think you're available for conversation.

It's still hard for us to express our true selves in relationships. But as long as we can be more confident, accept ourselves, recognize ourselves, and accept being attacked and questioned, we can be our true selves. This true self may not be liked by everyone, but it will attract those who like you.

We can't please everyone. So be yourself and be comfortable.

I hope this helps. Best wishes!