The hallucinations slowly got better, but the internal drive is not enough. What should I do if I feel like I've changed?

Hello, I'm Evan.

I want to give the questioner a hug. I've been there. It's hard. It's good that the questioner can now be cured, but they may lack motivation to study again.

The questioner seems to have mild obsessive thoughts. They can't get into studying because they think about it too much. This can be fixed with some methods. You don't have to force yourself to learn. Learn at your own pace and find joy in learning.

I can only give the questioner simple suggestions on internal motivation for learning.

Name the bad thoughts.

Why do you have negative thoughts and avoid learning choices? Some thoughts are easy to find, but others are not.

Record negative emotions in a few words.

Find out what makes the questioner want to avoid and procrastinate. It may be because they have failed to lose weight, or it may be because they are lagging behind in their studies.

Why is there so much pressure? Does it matter if you don't do well in school, can't study, or can't lose weight?

Where do these ideas come from? They are common negative thoughts, such as overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions, and being too extreme.

Stop the negative emotions.

Once you understand why you feel bad, cheer up and beat it. If you wake up feeling bad, tell yourself it'll get better.

When you feel negative emotions, don't dwell on them. Instead, say something positive. With time, you'll get used to it.

What causes these negative emotions?

Why do you feel bad? Is it because you worry about learning? Or do you feel insecure because your parents' advice doesn't help?

The questioner should look for and write down what makes them avoid and procrastinate.

Find out what causes the negative emotions. For example, if the questioner feels like they are avoiding studying, what is stopping them from learning?

Is avoiding studying a way to avoid the future? Is the questioner pursuing higher goals, afraid of failure, afraid of not adapting, and focused on future problems?

To cope, you need to understand your real anxiety.

Focus on the most important problem.

The questioner may have other problems too, like procrastination, body image, or negative emotions. They can try writing down these problems to see what they need to solve.

Then rank these things by how you feel and find the problem you want to solve.

If you can't solve a problem yourself, you can ask someone to help. You can discuss it with a friend or teacher.

The state pays attention to students' mental health. There are always teachers available to help. Students can talk to their teachers at school about their problems. There are always solutions.

Be positive every day.

Every day, start with a positive attitude. When you wake up, think of five happy things.

Think about happy things that happened recently. Say them out loud to welcome the new day.

A positive mindset helps you start the day right.

Saying positive things out loud makes you believe them. This will make you happier, more focused, and stop you from thinking too negatively.

Set goals.

Set a goal for studying or controlling your weight. What do you want to achieve?

What do you want most? Create a plan to get it.

Do it at your own pace, make your own plan, don't worry about what others think, and reward yourself when you've finished.

Get help.

If the above approach doesn't work for you, seek help from a professional. You can describe your negative emotions to them. Speak honestly.

Describe how these emotions affect you and how you respond to them. If necessary, keep communicating with these professionals until the emotions no longer affect you.

I hope this helps.

Hi there, I'm reaching out because I have a question for you.

After reading your question, I can tell you're feeling confused, frustrated, and hurt. You want to fix it, but you're not sure how. I can offer you some comfort from afar.

From what you said in your last paragraph, it seems like you had a strong internal drive at first. But then you fell behind in your studies because of an illness. That illness really affected you, didn't it? You also said that you have no self-control and always indulge yourself. You tend to play the victim and lie down. I can relate to that. I think one reason is that we all have an insurmountable chronic stress inside us. This stress is invisible and long-lasting. Think about it. Do we want our internal drive to be anxious about the current situation, like studying? But maintaining that internal drive all the time is hard because it's not a short-term fix. Another reason might be that we're helpless about situations we have no control over. We all hope that we can control our inner strength, but we can't. This can lead to hidden anxiety, which makes people feel fear and stress all the time.

Here's my advice on how to improve internal drive:

[1] Cut down on internal hidden consumption and boost dopamine levels. Internal hidden anxiety means we need to spot these emotions and then do something to increase dopamine in the body. We can do some exercise, which not only improves self-confidence but also improves physical fitness, which is great for boosting dopamine and reducing stress.

[2] Accept that you can't control everything and face your fear of losing control. We all feel this way about time and space, but we also want to change it. In fact, we don't want to admit that we're losing control of our lives. We don't want to become as out of control as we are now because we lack internal motivation. This also leads to fear of the present. If you want to give yourself internal motivation, you need to first accept your loss of control over everything. We're all ordinary people who need to accept that we're losing control of our lives.

[3] Learn to think for yourself. The main reason we lack internal motivation is that we spend too much time thinking about whether or not we want to do something. We can't fully accept that we're not doing it, or we can't focus our energy on doing it. Avoiding something for the sake of an idea or a task is not a good way to improve our self-discipline.

You can focus on the small things in the present moment, build up your self-discipline bit by bit, and don't try to achieve everything at once. Instead, make plans for yourself, for a day, ten days, a month, etc., and make a little progress every day. Over time, your self-discipline will grow, and you'll see your own internal drive become stronger.

[4] Be practical, work steadily, and don't compare yourself with others. When you have ideas and want to compete, you're really just comparing yourself with others, and that's not good for you. So, if you want drive, you need to understand that success requires us to be practical and complete every task step by step. Problems that can't be solved by comparison and fantasy can only be solved by letting go of things that are not useful at all and focusing on what should be done. Only in this way can we gradually cultivate our internal drive.

Finally, to keep our motivation up, we need to give ourselves a reward when we complete something. This way, we feel rewarded through our own efforts and stay motivated to achieve our goals. Think about whether you need to be motivated by small, frequent rewards or a better reward after completing a big thing—that is, success. Try different strategies to find what works for you.

I hope you can get to the bottom of it soon. I hope the above is useful.