The more one thinks, the harder it is to escape; how to break free from the predicament one has woven oneself?

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm modest and self-effacing, like a valley.

You're not perfect. It's good to learn from your mistakes.

We must do our duty.

In Chinese culture, it's easier to rely on connections and find acquaintances for anything. Capable people are often asked for help because if you don't accept, you'll be seen as heartless and insensitive. Once you're seen this way, you'll help as much as you can. But helping can damage a relationship or even you.

You've already made a mistake. You're hard on yourself for reviewing the situation. No matter what you think, the ending is tentative and irreversible. We can review the situation to avoid making the same mistake again. We can make up for it, do a good job, and handle the follow-up work. We can also use the consequences of our careless actions as a warning.

We did our best, but we couldn't keep doing it well. Don't blame yourself. A warrior faces challenges head-on. You have a skill. When you're overwhelmed by guilt and self-blame, it's a loss for society and patients.

Spend your time on meaningful things. You can fix what's already happened, and our lives still have meaning.

2. Understand our mission.

There's a saying that doesn't fit here, and I hope the original poster won't be offended. It goes like this: If you keep walking by the river, you'll get your shoes wet.

Everyone makes mistakes at work. Forgive yourself, and learn from them.

Since mistakes are made, there will be victims. Try to help so that your conscience can rest and the injured person can find balance. Be brave and do what you should do. No matter how much regret you feel, it is better to learn and help more.

Forgive yourself. You still have a mission to accomplish. Staying still will make things worse. Go help more people. You have good intentions.

Best wishes.

Insight into the mind, sharing is a habit! I am a soliloquist, and I love it!

Today, I'm thrilled to discuss a fascinating concept from a psychological standpoint: emotional patterns.

In our lives, when you keep doing something over and over again, something amazing happens! From a physiological point of view, long-term and fixed connections will be established between certain nerve cells. For example, if you get angry, frustrated, miserable, and painful every day, you are wiring and integrating that neural network over and over again every day. From a psychological point of view, this becomes an emotional pattern for you.

Guess what? You feel guilty and suffer every day because you did not perform a good operation on an acquaintance. This is a current emotional pattern.

In our lives, we have the amazing ability to control our lives and make free choices! However, in many cases, we are not in control. Just as in your current situation, I think you have the desire to be happy, but you are experiencing some challenges.

So, what causes us to act without choice? It is the human subconscious!

The eldest son grew up to become an amazing father because he was determined to not harm his family like his father did. The second son never married because he was so confident in his ability to make his own way in the world.

Lao San did the same thing as his father because his subconscious belief was: I want to be like my father!

Character tendencies, external environment, various educations, life events, and karma from past lives (if you believe in it) all contribute to your unique life pattern!

Today, we're going to dive into your current suffering. And guess what? If you think about it, this life pattern still exists if you look back on similar things you encounter in your daily life.

Guess what? I've discovered the biggest reason why we humans suffer: we resist the truth!

Facts are the most important thing, and what has already happened cannot be changed. If you don't accept it, it's like banging your head against a wall. But here's the amazing thing: you can ask yourself, even if you use all your strength, can you knock a wall down with your head? And the answer is definitely yes!

But you know what? You can try to knock it down, and it won't work. It's useless and futile.

I think I've already given you the answer!

Wish: Banish the morning fog, let the sunshine shine into your heart, and be a happy person!

Good day, Dear questioner,

My name is Yi Ming, and I am a heart exploration coach.

I have carefully reviewed your inquiry and would be pleased to discuss it with you further and share my insights, with the hope that they will be of some comfort and inspiration to you.

1. Accept your emotions.

Given the nature of the procedure, we may be more inclined to perform it to the best of our abilities when operating on someone we know.

I am unsure if you are aware, but it is only appropriate to operate on an acquaintance when we can treat them as we would any other person.

However, this is easier said than done.

In practice, there are numerous instances where this approach is applied.

A common uterine fibroid is considered a moderate surgical procedure in the obstetrics and gynecology department. However, due to the patient's status as a hospital employee, the hospital organized two surgical teams: a professor of gynecology and a professor of general surgery. This demonstrates the hospital's high level of commitment to ensuring the procedure is carried out safely and effectively.

Ultimately, the most unfavorable outcome was reached.

Accordingly, we can now endeavor to interact with acquaintances in a manner that is consistent with our ordinary interactions with other individuals.

Has there been a previous occasion when the operation was not completed as required?

It is essential to learn from experience. Debriefing is not about self-denial or self-blame; rather, it is about identifying areas for improvement.

It is not uncommon to experience these emotions.

It would be beneficial to identify the primary thought process behind these emotions.

Are you more concerned about disappointing your acquaintances?

Have you already lost your usual composure?

Over-blaming oneself is a result of having unclear boundaries.

It is not necessary to seek approval from others or to be overly concerned with their opinions.

It is crucial to evaluate your own performance and capabilities.

Both parties are equally responsible. Colleagues may have their own perceptions and expectations of you, and it is important to perform to the best of your abilities.

And you know that, at your core, you recognize that the situation is not as dire as it may seem, and that you are not as flawed as you may think. You are simply caught up in your own thoughts.

There are three key factors to consider when assigning responsibility for a situation: the individual, the circumstances, and external parties.

If the operation was not completed as it should have been, is it fair to say that the responsibility lies solely with you?

Take a moment to compose yourself and identify the underlying emotions behind your current state.

It is not advisable to attempt to suppress or resist one's thoughts, as this can result in a deeper level of entrenchment. Attempting to push against these thoughts may lead to further entrenchment and an inability to disengage.

Instead, allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions associated with this situation. Give yourself the time and space to process your feelings and regain your composure. This will enable you to approach the situation with a clear mind and a solution-oriented perspective.

2. Please identify any key learnings from this experience.

Based on your account, the improper performance of the operation did not result in any significant consequences.

Please evaluate whether this is a potential scenario that could occur during the surgical procedure.

If this is the case, we will endeavour to avoid this in the future.

The nature of surgery is inherently uncertain.

As an alternative, would you consider not having surgery performed by acquaintances you value highly in the future?

Many doctors have reported that performing surgery on acquaintances can present additional challenges in a clinical setting.

When we gradually accept our emotions, this dilemma may resolve itself.

It may be beneficial to shift our focus from our personal evaluation to the matter at hand.

Please share these.

Best regards,

Informed consent is required for surgery. It is risky and not always successful. This is something everyone knows. Thinking about it now makes it harder to move on. You feel you must blame yourself.

You had negative thoughts. You expected to do this and that and make the surgery a success. But it didn't work out. Things don't always turn out as we expect.

It's like surgery. You performed surgery on an acquaintance but didn't do a good job. Unsuccessful surgery is inevitable. You blame yourself because you feel you've already given a lot.

You feel ashamed because you wanted to do this for yourself, but not doing it is making you suffer. The other person paid for the operation and also needs to know the possibility of this.

Not all surgeries are perfect. Take the Inner Animal Archetypes test and talk to a heart coach. Don't blame yourself for things you can't control. Try to help your family member. Show you've tried your best. Good luck!

ZQ?