The puppy was very sad when it died, and the mother is always full of negative thoughts?

I extend to you a warm embrace from a distance.

The pain, sadness, and grief experienced when a beloved dog is lost can be overwhelming. There is a longing for understanding, support, companionship, active listening, and comfort.

Although the departure of the dog has caused you to experience profound sadness and hurt, you have also begun to attempt to accept this painful reality, as only through acceptance can the pain in your heart be alleviated. It is evident that your mother's attitude towards this situation differs significantly from yours. She has not attempted to learn to accept it in a rational and objective manner, but has instead denied, avoided, and blamed it, which has resulted in your feeling a sense of loss, lack of understanding, and anger.

When one's emotions are not acknowledged and responded to adequately by one's mother, it becomes challenging to offer her the acceptance, understanding, and support she requires in that moment. This lack of responsiveness may contribute to feelings of anger and a lack of expression towards her.

Indeed, in the face of the loss of a beloved pet, whether it is the case that the bereaved individual's mother exhibits avoidance, denial, or blame, or displays calmness and rationality, it can be observed that both parties have instinctively protected themselves by avoiding the expression of their true inner emotions. The bereaved individual is avoiding the painful emotions, while the mother is avoiding the emotions of guilt, self-blame, and fear. In other words, at that moment, both parties were in need of each other's emotional support more than anything, but out of instinctive self-preservation, they both fell into self-defense, causing secondary harm to each other.

It is essential to acknowledge that both parties must confront and express their emotions. The mother's feelings of blame, guilt, and fear are manifestations of her love and concern for the child. The child's rational mind may perceive these emotions as accusations, given the longstanding presence of the dog and the mother's evident sadness about its demise. This sadness is no less profound than the child's own feelings. Additionally, the mother experiences profound remorse and guilt towards the child. When she is unable to identify more constructive methods of expressing and releasing her inner emotional feelings, she resorts to the immature and long-standing method of blame and denial.

Once a clear awareness of this aspect of one's emotions and feelings towards one's mother has been established, it is possible to attempt to face one's true inner emotions and feelings in a sincere manner, guided by this self-awareness. It is also possible to express this part of one's emotions and feelings to others. At this juncture, a deep emotional connection with one's mother may also be formed. It can be argued that emotional connection and support can only occur when one is brave enough to express one's vulnerability in front of the people closest to one. This step must be taken by the individual in question first, it would seem.

I am Lily, the youngest member of the Q&A Museum. I extend my love and best wishes to you all.

Hello, my name is Strawberry!

It's so sad to see your confession and sadness. Many people nowadays keep pets, and it's so true that after keeping them for a long time, the relationship is equivalent to that with a relative because their company will fill our lives with joy.

The questioner had taken the dog to his mother's house, and today he called to say that the dog had died. The questioner asked if he could take the dog to the hospital right away. When the questioner arrived at the hospital, the doctor sadly announced that the dog could not be saved. After hearing this sad news, the questioner's mother seemed to become suspicious again, saying that someone had entered the house and poisoned the dog to death, and that it might have been the questioner's father who asked someone to kill the dog.

Could it be something she was born with?

From what the questioner has shared, it seems that the questioner's mother has been experiencing some concerns since she was very young. However, from the text, it seems that what she's experiencing might not be paranoia, but rather something else. The questioner's mother's behavior is described by others as speaking without thinking, saying whatever comes into her head, and seemingly unable to control herself.

It's possible that the questioner's mother is really struggling to control this delusion. I wonder if she's ever visited a doctor in this situation, for example, a neurologist or psychiatrist. Normally, people don't develop this kind of delusion, so it's important to look out for any potential triggers. During her growth process, did she suffer a brain injury or experience any other kind of stimulation?

I'm just wondering, who might be the usual suspects for the questioner's mother? It could be that this is all related to the current situation, because sometimes when someone is hurt or provoked, it can lead to these kinds of delusions.

To help her feel better about what happened

The questioner said that the dog died normally, but I'm wondering if there were any signs of illness before that. We all have to go through the natural stages of life, and so do animals. They don't live as long as we do, but that's okay! So, in the case of a dog's normal death, why does the questioner's mother always blame it on someone else?

I think it's fair to say that she's aware of the sadness you're feeling, the importance of the dog to you, and she values your thoughts about her too. By blaming someone else, she's avoiding taking responsibility for the puppy's care, and that's not fair to you. She thinks this argument will be accepted by others, but she doesn't realise that this kind of thinking is so far from reality that it will make people resentful.

It's been a long time now that the questioner's mother has been acting this way. It's a shame that no one has thought to change her and help her recover. In this regard, it can be said that the questioner's father has not done a great job. As a husband, he didn't immediately go to his wife's side to help her with this problem. As a father, he didn't think about what impact his wife's behavior would have on the next generation.

☀️ It would be really helpful if you could persuade your mum to seek some psychological counseling.

It's so sad to see that the situation with the questioner's mother is already a relatively serious mental illness. She really needs counseling to help her work through her problems. I truly believe that if we can solve this problem, it will be possible to restore a harmonious family life.

The questioner may already have the strength to distance themselves from the influence of their parents, but we will also have our own partners and the next generation, and they will inevitably come into contact with their parents. If their mother says something like that off the cuff, it can make people think some pretty unkind thoughts, right? I believe the questioner can imagine. As relatives, none of us can accept it, let alone other people.

☀️ It's so important to try to understand the past and give each other understanding and tolerance.

If your mom was like this when she was growing up, it might be helpful to think about what happened to her before she came to you. You might find that you understand her better after you've thought about it.

It might also help you feel a bit more sorry for your mom. You can usually persuade your mom based on your own ability. You can let her know that there aren't many victim behaviors in this society. If you can't persuade her, you can just interrupt her directly to let her know that you're not interested in listening.

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. You've got this!

Oh, it's so sad! Losing the dog made the questioner feel very sad, and facing her mother's behavior like this made the questioner feel even more irritated. It's so important for the questioner to release her emotions.

It's okay to feel sad about the death of the dog. It's natural to miss its companionship. Take some time to say goodbye properly to the dog. Let yourself feel the sadness, loss, and love you have for it. Even though it's gone, it'll always be in your heart.

2. Choose the right way to relieve stress: writing therapy, painting, exercise, going out for a walk, etc. You can try these methods, even if you are alone. They are not difficult, and as long as they can relieve your emotions, they are all methods. You've got this! Act to make your life fulfilling, and you won't always be stuck in negative emotions.

3. Let's change your mindset!

It's great that you've already realized that your mother's behavior and negative emotions have affected you. It's so important to change your mindset! Spending more time with positive and optimistic people and participating in more group activities will definitely help you change your mindset.

I really hope my answer is helpful for you. I wish you all the best!