There is no need to be so obsessed. I don't owe anyone anything, except my family and loved ones!

Hello, my dear friend. I can feel your current inner conflict and confusion from the lines of your question. First of all, I want to give you a big hug and hope that my answer will be helpful to you.

You might say I did everything perfectly, or that I was heartless, but have you ever thought about this? This is already the best result I could get by doing my best to turn the tide. Don't I deserve to have these things? Now I look back, although I also have some regrets, but from the perspective at that time, what could you do?

It can feel like a dead end, I get it. Do you think you'll be an exception? I do believe in miracles, but why should they happen to you? I'm a big believer in objective dialectical historical materialism, which I see as a way of combining a universal connection with the objectivity of that connection. I believe in science, but I'm still a bit conservative about all this. Absolutely!

I know you're trying your best, and I admire your resilience. I'm here to tell you, don't repeat the same mistakes. Believe me, I will make the most of the lessons I have learned from all my experiences. There is no need to dwell on it so much. I don't owe it to anyone except my family and loved ones! This is a dialogue full of doubts and affirmations. I can feel your internal struggles, which are presented very clearly before us. But we can feel the strength of these conversations. Believe me, I will make the most of the lessons I have learned from all my experiences. There is no need to dwell on it so much. Yes, please believe in yourself that you can do it. Hugs again.

Your writing is so honest and open, I can feel the pressure and internal struggle you're facing. It's so hard not to feel tired and disappointed when we're up against challenges in life, especially those involving personal growth, financial pressure, and mental health.

Your honesty and self-reflection show your resilience and desire for change, which is so valuable!

First, I just want to say that a long-term mental illness is a marathon, not a sprint. You're already a winner just for fighting it every day!

You're doing great! Even if progress may be slow, every small step forward is worth celebrating. It's so good to hear that you're already actively managing your condition. You're really showing a lot of courage.

I just wanted to say that I think it's great that you're maintaining your belief in science and objective dialectical historical materialism. I'm sure it'll help you find solutions to problems in the real world!

I'm so proud of you for achieving a positive equity position financially! It's a result of all your hard work, and it's so well-deserved. This isn't just a numbers game; it's a recognition of your efforts.

Your sense of responsibility towards your loved ones and family shows how kind and committed you are to your family. Please don't forget that taking care of yourself is also a way to repay them – you deserve it!

When it comes to relationships, you don't have to worry about meeting other people's expectations or social standards. Everyone has their own unique way of communicating, and it's so important to find a rhythm that suits you.

Sometimes, having an introverted personality can be a real advantage! It means you have a natural gift for deep thinking and listening. Don't ever doubt your own value just because others have different opinions. Your value should be defined by you, not anyone else!

Mistakes from the past, especially those involving trust and loss, can be really tough to go through. But as you said, they're also valuable lessons.

They have shaped you into the wonderful person you are today, making you more cautious and wiser. It is a mature way of dealing with the situation to turn these experiences into a driving force for moving forward, rather than a burden.

In conclusion, I just want to say that you totally deserve to enjoy your achievements, both in your career and in your personal life. You've come so far, and you're still moving forward!

Give yourself some room for forgiveness and allow yourself to feel proud and content. You don't need to prove anything to anyone else. It's enough if you know that you're trying, and that's a great start!

As you said, your emotions and experiences are valuable, and you don't owe anyone anything. It's totally normal to feel the way you do.

You've already shown so much courage and strength in this process. Keep up the great work! Be courageous and trust your judgment, while also giving yourself time and space to heal and grow.

If you feel you need more support, you might also consider seeking the help of a counselor. They can provide professional guidance to help you better understand and deal with these complex emotions. You are not alone on this journey, and there are always people willing to lend a hand.

Your story and experiences really resonate with so many people, and you are definitely not alone.

I really hope my answer helps! Sending you all my love from the world and me! ???

Good day. I am a Heart Detective coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey.

As the adage states, "No path in life is wasted; every step counts." When individuals gain and grow from experience, although they may also pay a price, they will gain experience and avoid pitfalls. It may be beneficial to consider the positive aspects of this situation and whether it would have a positive effect on the questioner.

It is impossible to earn money that one is unaware of. Even if one is fortunate enough to earn it on occasion, it will be lost when luck runs out. The protagonist of the highly renowned "100 million koi" a few years ago exemplified this lesson profoundly. Therefore, it would be advantageous to identify one's own knowledge blind spots during one's youth and learn the relevant lessons, rather than discovering this problem when one is older.

As the adage states, "God helps those who help themselves." Each individual is entitled to reap the rewards of their own efforts. The questioner may benefit from instilling a sense of self-assurance. There is no reason to feel undeserving, provided that one does not engage in theft or coercion.

Love is an intimate relationship between two independent individuals with compatible or complementary personalities and similar worldviews. It is true that the person one is interested in may not reciprocate those feelings, but if one is determined to maintain the relationship, one will not regret that decision. Individuals with different worldviews who are forced to stay together may also find it challenging to persevere.

The ability to distinguish between one's own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of the universe, coupled with the capacity to take responsibility for one's own affairs, may serve to mitigate internal conflict. Indeed, one of the most challenging tasks in existence is to place one's own thoughts into the mind of another individual.

It is important to believe that one deserves happiness, to try to love oneself well, to engage in activities that nourish oneself, and to cultivate interests and hobbies. This will enrich one's inner world. One might consider the following line from a Leslie Cheung song: "I am me, fireworks with a different color."

It is not possible to satisfy all parties in any given situation. Individuals have the right to express their own views and opinions, and to love themselves. Their self-love will not be diminished by the opinions of others.

An awareness of one's own romantic personality and the criteria by which one chooses a spouse can assist in the avoidance of an intimate relationship that is not compatible with one's needs, thereby reducing internal conflict.

It is recommended that the following texts be read: "How to Hug a Hedgehog" and "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone."

I am sending you my best regards.

Hello, question asker! I'm Super Sister from Yixinli, and I'm here to help!

I'm so grateful you invited me!

I agree with you wholeheartedly! There are so many people in the world, and we don't have to be nice to everyone. Only family members who are good to you deserve your kindness!

You were once trapped in your emotions, but now you're free! You're more aware of what you want, and I think that's great. This is the greatest meaning of suffering. In our despair and lows, we can see clearly the people around us and understand what is worth spending time and energy on.

The most important thing is to focus on making yourself and your family happy! Don't worry about what others think or expect because everyone's journey is different. Be true to yourself and follow your heart — that's the key to success!

Of course, this doesn't mean we should neglect our social responsibilities or basic respect and kindness towards others. It's also important to maintain good interpersonal relationships and social interactions without hindering personal growth and family happiness.

In the most difficult times, you chose not to give up, to work hard, and rely on yourself. And now, you have built a happy life! So at this moment, you still have choices: who to intersect with in your life, and what to do or not to do.

This life is very short, and we have to go through the pains of birth, aging, sickness, and death. So if you can, please make yourself a little happier ❤️ — because you deserve it!

I wish you all the courage in the world to be your true, happy self!

You have demonstrated considerable fortitude and resilience in your pursuit of a better life for yourself and your family. The establishment of your own home, the attainment of a stable employment, and the achievement of a settled lifestyle are all noteworthy accomplishments. These are not easy feats to accomplish, and it is important to recognize that they are the result of your perseverance and determination.

It is often the case that relationships are fragile and delicate. It is not uncommon for individuals to have a few close friends or acquaintances with whom they maintain contact and share updates. However, given your assertion that you are a reserved person, it may be necessary for you to make an effort to open up and engage in conversation with these individuals. By discussing your daily lives and sharing experiences, you may be able to gradually develop a closer relationship.

It can be argued that communication represents the initial stage in the formation of a relationship.

Mental illness can be a significant challenge, yet you have demonstrated resilience and adaptability by pursuing treatment and making necessary adjustments. It is evident that you have faced and overcome significant obstacles, and this is a testament to your fortitude and determination.

It is understandable that nobody wishes to be cheated; however, it is important to move on from past events. The fact that you are now in a position to stand on your own two feet and start anew is a significant achievement in itself.

I comprehend your feelings of culpability towards your grandfather. However, as you previously stated, the optimal course of action is to become a more virtuous individual, thereby alleviating your family members of concern. On occasion, the most efficacious method of repaid gratitude towards one's loved ones is to lead a commendable life of one's own and assuage their anxieties.

One is under no obligation to others. Each individual has their own life path and set of responsibilities. The actions in question represent the utmost that could be done in the circumstances.

One must not allow those who do not comprehend one's actions to affect one's emotional state. It is inevitable that one will encounter individuals who attempt to discredit one's actions, but it is of paramount importance to maintain a positive self-image and to ensure that those close to one are also supportive.

It is noteworthy that you have worked assiduously to create a superior quality of life for yourself and your family, a commendable achievement that is not commonly observed.

In conclusion, the objective dialectical historical materialism you referenced is commendable, indicative of your capacity for rational thought. This disposition is essential in navigating life's complexities, necessitating a balance between idealism and pragmatism.

It is important to avoid placing excessive pressure on oneself. Instead, one should focus on enjoying the present, cherishing the people in one's life, and taking things one step at a time. With time, circumstances will improve.

You are already an admirable individual, so it is imperative that you continue to excel. It is essential to maintain a forward-thinking perspective, to have unwavering self-belief, and to accept that life will inevitably reward you in accordance with your actions.

Hello, Coach Yu from Xin Tan here. I read your post and admire your courage. I can also sense some reluctance. Let's talk about it.

Knowing your relationship-he-used-to-not-pay-attention-to-the-sense-of-boundaries-between-the-sexes-and-it-has-always-been-a-concern-for-me-what-should-i-do-4183.html" target="_blank">boundaries is important. It helps you distinguish yourself from others. Many emotional and psychological problems in relationships are related to the difficulty of maintaining appropriate boundaries.

If someone violates your boundaries, your body will send out signals like a faster heartbeat, a feeling of heat, restlessness, and sweating.

Sometimes we don't want to offend others, damage relationships, or avoid risks. We are afraid to set and maintain our boundaries and protect ourselves.

How would we feel if someone said we were unreasonable and heartless? Would we feel uncomfortable?

Are you offended for no reason?

Have you thought about how you would respond to these words and actions? If you had responded at the time, what would you have said?

What can you do?

You can't rely on others to protect you. They can't control what they say or do. They often use words to make others feel bad. They want to feel better. You can't expect others to know how to behave. You need to take the initiative to set boundaries. You need to tell others when you're uncomfortable. You need to take action if necessary. As Guo Degang said, the person who wronged you knows better than you how wronged you are.

Instead of staying silent, it's better to find a way to prove them wrong with evidence. I'll use what I've learned from my experiences to my advantage.

Let's talk about relationships again. Everyone's inner world has a stage, and we are the main character. Other people and things are supporting characters. Our emotions, desires, and logic are in these characters, creating a story.

We use our internal scripts to interpret external relationships. The people we care about are also affected by our inner drama. Therefore, we can choose how we view relationships.

My high school classmate said I was sullen. I'm introverted and seem prudish.

The person the questioner mentioned is just a supporting actor in our hearts. We use our emotions to imagine real-life relationships.

So, if we think about our relationships with others, we'll see that they're really about finding ourselves.

Why do I want to remember her QQ number and check out her space? Why do I want to add her WeChat during the Chinese New Year?

What is the ideal relationship? What is the ideal self?

What do I need? What can I do?

Knowing our needs helps us view relationships rightly.

We can open our hearts and try to have an honest conversation with the person we like. We can talk about our feelings and listen to hers. This can help us both.

We can also seek help from a counselor. Emotions need an outlet to relieve stress.

Spend more time with your family, go for walks in nature, and relieve your tense mood. Your family will support you when you face conflicts and difficulties.

Recommended book: The Courage to Be Disliked

Dear Question Asker, Upon reading your narrative, I could discern the inner turmoil and challenges you have faced.

You have experienced a considerable amount of distress and pressure, yet you have demonstrated remarkable resilience and fortitude. I am deeply impressed by your courage and perseverance.

I empathize with the internal conflict you are experiencing. You are striving to improve your circumstances, yet the residual effects of past experiences present a formidable challenge. It is imperative to recognize that these traumatic events have not rendered you irremediable, but rather have fortified your resilience and maturity.

One is under no obligation to others, except one's family and loved ones, as they represent the most significant figures in one's life, and their affection and assistance serve as one's primary motivating factors.

In regard to one's personality, the traits of reserve and mild-mannered are not indicative of deficiencies; rather, they are distinctive characteristics. Each individual possesses a unique set of traits, which contribute to the diversity of human character.

The comments from your high school classmates may be a reflection of their perception of you, but it is important to recognize that your true self is a distinctive and appealing individual.

In regard to your mental health, I am aware that you have already exerted considerable effort. Your daily medication regimen and participation in treatment are clear indications of your commitment to improving your quality of life.

I admire your persistence and courage. It is important to remember that you are not alone, and that there are many people who care about and support you.

I comprehend the confusion and helplessness you experience in regard to relationships. Your relationships with family and loved ones are your most significant source of support; however, you are not obligated to be excessively demanding in other relationships.

Each individual adheres to a distinct mode of existence and espouses a unique set of values. It is, therefore, unfeasible to satisfy or gratify all parties. The pivotal objective is to maintain sincerity and benevolence, to honour the decisions of others, and simultaneously to safeguard one's own interests.

You have already achieved a great deal with regard to your financial situation and future planning. You are in gainful employment, receive a good income, and own your own home, all of which are the result of your hard work over the years.

It is evident that you have created a life that you are proud of and that you wish to celebrate.

The following recommendations are offered for your consideration:

1. It is recommended that you maintain a positive mindset. You may wish to give yourself positive affirmations and encouragement on a daily basis. For example, you might say to yourself, "I'm great" or "I can do it." These words can boost your self-confidence and motivation.

2. It is advisable to seek support from family, friends, or professional counselors. These individuals can provide assistance and guidance, which may facilitate progress and enhance determination.

3. Develop hobbies: Identify an activity that aligns with your interests, such as reading, sports, traveling, etc. These pursuits can facilitate relaxation and stress relief, while also enhancing your sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

4. Set incremental goals. Rather than attempting to achieve a single, overwhelming objective at once, it is more effective to divide the task into smaller, more manageable components. Provide yourself with positive reinforcement for each goal you accomplish.

This will provide additional motivation to achieve more ambitious objectives.

5. Develop communication skills. This can be achieved by reading books on communication skills or taking relevant courses. The result will be an improvement in communication and interpersonal skills, which will facilitate better relationships with others.

In conclusion, it is imperative to emphasize that regardless of the obstacles and difficulties you may face in the future, it is of paramount importance to have unwavering self-belief and to persevere with resolve. Your dedication and resilience will undoubtedly pave the way for a brighter future.

It is recommended that you maintain a positive outlook and confidence in your decisions and capabilities. It is hoped that each day will bring you joy and optimism.

Hello, question asker! I have read your description and seen your inner world. I have read your inner monologue about your experiences over the years, and I am in awe of how you have overcome such challenges!

It's so inspiring to see how a young person who has been through a tough experience like financial fraud and hospitalization has not just given up, but has worked hard to turn their situation around. They've taken control and are now on the path to financial independence, living on their own and not relying on their parents. Kudos to you for your resilience and determination!

For your will to survive, for your independence, for your self-reliance! It's so great that you seem to be in complete agreement with yourself. I'm sure you have no questions at all.

However, there is also a hint of regret in your words, for example:

In terms of love, you seem to be a bit passive and not so good at initiating contact with girls. But there's a girl you like! You just need to work on being more outgoing and expressing your feelings. Once you do, she'll definitely know how you feel!

You're also a little confused because you're unable to take this step, but don't worry!

You know your own personality traits really well, and I say go with the flow! Let things happen as they may. If you try hard to please and cater to a certain person or relationship, you might gain the other person's favor temporarily, but you'll hardly be happy for long.

A healthy intimate relationship is one that begins with mutual recognition and respect. It's a wonderful thing when two people come together and respect each other's differences! As you get to know each other, you'll find that mutual compromise is key. It's important to remember that you are an amazing person, and your partner should respect that. If you feel like your partner is changing you for the worse, it's time to rethink things. A relationship that makes you feel unhappy is not a good relationship. You deserve to be happy!

If you want to create more opportunities to meet people, it is recommended that you spend time with a large group of familiar classmates, colleagues, and friends, including female classmates you have a crush on. This is a great way to avoid the embarrassment of being alone in group activities while also giving you the chance to observe each other and give the other person a chance to notice you!

It doesn't matter if you're friends with someone of the same or opposite sex. What matters is that you're attracted to each other! If you're attracted to each other through small encounters and details, then you can definitely continue to get along. And if you don't fancy each other, there's absolutely no need to force it!

❓ Maybe there are people in your life who are willing to point fingers at you, or maybe other people's comments about you are not what you want to hear, or maybe other people's demands on you make you feel overwhelmed or annoyed. So, you have said your inner cry many times, and you say you don't owe anyone anything, you just need to be good to your family and loved ones. But guess what? You can be good to your family and loved ones AND have the life you've always dreamed of!

Indeed, we owe no one anything! Apart from being responsible for our family and work, fulfilling the expectations of others is a matter of courtesy, not obligation.

An introvert who is not good at socializing actually values interpersonal relationships the most! They are more sentimental and loyal. Because they value them too much, interpersonal relationships have become a mental burden. They are always afraid of disturbing, delaying, affecting, or causing trouble to others. They miss the opportunity to experience warmth again and again because they can't bear to do so.

So my advice is to recognize that you don't owe anyone anything, which will help you unburden yourself of some of the mental burden of relationships. At the same time, go light, approach people you want to meet, and don't bother with the ones you don't.

Others are not as fragile as you think, and neither are you as stubborn as you think, ha ha ha!

Young people, seize the day with this clear awareness of yourself!

It's important to understand your own feelings. You've faced many challenges and difficulties, and you've finally managed to get your life back on track thanks to your own efforts and perseverance. This is very commendable and worthy of praise. Next, I'll share some thoughts and suggestions based on your situation and feelings.

First, you've made it clear that you're independent and don't owe anyone anything but your family and loved ones. This shows your independence and autonomy, as well as your deep affection for your family and loved ones.

This is a great step forward. It shows you're taking responsibility for yourself while also maintaining strong relationships with family and loved ones.

But human interaction is a big part of our lives, and building good relationships with others is really important for our personal and professional development. Just because you may have been hurt in the past, it doesn't mean you should avoid social interaction completely.

You might want to think about learning some social skills and methods to help you handle relationships better. That could help you be more successful and happy in life.

It's important to remember that mental health is just as important as physical health. It has a big impact on our overall sense of well-being and quality of life.

I think you should keep up with your treatment and get involved in some healthy activities like sports, meditation, and art.

You also mentioned your financial situation. You've achieved a positive equity through your own efforts, which is a great achievement. At the same time, you already have a stable job and income, as well as your own housing, which are the foundation and guarantee for your future life.

I also want to remind you that financial planning is important for maintaining financial stability. You might want to think about creating a reasonable budget plan to make sure your income and expenses are balanced and to save for your future goals and dreams.

On top of that, you've got a great attitude about past setbacks and difficulties. You see these experiences as valuable lessons, which is a great mindset to have. It'll help you face future challenges with more composure and determination.

It's also important to express your hopes and confidence in the future. Setting clear goals and developing a feasible plan to achieve them will give you more motivation and a sense of direction.

It's important to set clear boundaries in your relationships with others. You need to be honest about your own limits and expectations, while also respecting the needs and feelings of others.

Learning to say no and protect your time and energy will help you take better control of your life.

Finally, when it comes to your beliefs and attitudes, sticking to science and rationality is really important. Being open-minded but cautious when you're facing the unknown and difficulties will help you make better decisions.

You can also try to bring your beliefs and attitudes into your daily life, for example by volunteering or doing community service.

It's important to stay positive when facing challenges in life. You've already experienced a lot and learned a lot.

Your determination and resilience will serve you well in the future. No matter what challenges you face, believe in your ability to overcome them and learn from the experience.

And don't forget to enjoy the good things in life. Taking time to do the things you love and spending quality time with family and friends are all part of making life more fulfilling and meaningful.

All that hard work and perseverance have paid off, so it's time to enjoy the benefits.

In short, you've experienced a lot in life, but you've come out stronger and more mature. Keep moving forward and create your own wonderful life in your own way.

As you move forward, you'll face new opportunities and challenges. Stay positive and believe in yourself, and you'll be able to push forward and achieve your goals.

I'd also like to remind you to find a good work-life balance. While you're trying to succeed in your career, don't forget to take care of your physical and mental health, and don't neglect your family life.

Don't forget about other important areas of your life in your quest for instant success.

It's also important to have good relationships with other people. Even if you don't feel like you owe anyone anything, being kind and helpful to others will make your life more interesting.

It's a good idea to communicate with others, share your experiences and insights, and also listen to their stories and ideas. This will not only broaden your horizons, but also make you feel more joy in life.

Finally, remember that your life is your own, and you have the right to choose the lifestyle you want. Don't let external judgments and expectations hold you back, and go after your dreams and goals with courage.

In this process, you may face some challenges, but it's important to believe in your abilities and value, and to stay true to your own path.

Your life is gradually on the right track, and there's still a long way to go. I hope you can keep up the positive and optimistic attitude and keep moving forward. No matter what difficulties and challenges you face, you've got to believe in your ability to overcome them and succeed.

At the same time, you should also learn to appreciate the people and things around you, enjoy every beautiful moment in life, and make your life more exciting and fulfilling.

Based on all this, I'd also like to give you a few specific tips to help you handle the challenges and opportunities in life:

1. Keep learning and growing.

Read a variety of books, magazines, and articles regularly to broaden your knowledge and improve your personal qualities.

Skill training: Take different skill training courses based on your interests and career goals to improve your professional skills and overall quality.

Reflection and summary: Take some time each day to think about what you've done and what you've learned. This will help you understand yourself better, identify what you need to work on, and make improvements when you need to.

2. Healthy Lifestyle

It's important to get a good night's sleep and stick to a regular routine. This helps you work more efficiently and stay healthy.

Eat a balanced diet. Make sure you get plenty of vegetables and fruit, and cut down on fatty and sugary foods to keep yourself in good shape.

Moderate exercise: Try to get some exercise in regularly, like walking, running, swimming, etc. It'll help you stay fit and boost your mood.

3. Get out there and meet new people!

Get involved in social activities: Join clubs, go to lectures, volunteer, and so on. You'll meet more like-minded people that way.

Stay in touch with old friends. Send them a quick note or call them now and then to keep the bond strong.

It's also important to establish a supportive relationship in social interactions. Try to pay attention to the needs of others and provide help and support to establish a good supportive relationship.

4. Psychological adjustment and stress management

It's important to learn to relax. Try deep breathing, meditation, and other relaxation exercises to relieve tension and stress.

Don't be afraid to ask for help from family, friends, or professionals when you need it.

Stay optimistic. Try to adjust your mindset and face life's challenges and difficulties with an optimistic attitude, believing in your ability to overcome everything.

In short, by learning and growing continuously, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, expanding your social circle, and managing stress and adjusting your mindset, you'll be better able to handle the challenges and opportunities in life and create a better future. I hope these suggestions are helpful!