There might be some lingering doubt, am I suitable for, or should I even engage in meditation?

Hello, my name is Du Xi.

After reading your sharing, I realized that I wasn't able to offer a solution to help you directly. Instead, I saw this as an opportunity for a constructive discussion.

From what I can gather, you are a highly intelligent person who has set the bar quite high for yourself.

1. There are indeed many benefits to meditation, but it's important to be clear about your reasons for wanting to meditate and what you hope to gain from it.

2. I believe meditation can also be seen as a form of cultivation, which requires self-discipline and perseverance. This could be seen as a way to grow. If, after cultivating over time, your feelings change from "suffering" to "enjoyment," could this not be seen as an improvement?

3. About "perfectionism": It's important to recognize that standards can vary depending on who we are, what we're facing, and what's going on around us. What we consider perfect might not align with someone else's perspective. While dedication and commitment are admirable qualities, it's also crucial to be open to different perspectives and to adapt our approach accordingly.

It might be helpful to strive for "excellence," and to try to improve and progress from the original each time, so that you can feel a greater sense of achievement and joy.

4. With regard to the notion that "it is not possible to receive any other information at the same time, and in life and work, one still needs to pay attention to multiple things at once," I believe it is important to prioritize and avoid generalization. It is essential to understand your goals and objectives and adapt your approach accordingly to achieve the best results.

In light of all this, I hope these thoughts might be helpful to the original poster. I look forward to hearing your thoughts in reply!

Good day.

I'm grateful to be able to offer you some guidance.

From your description, I can sense that you have a keen interest in psychology. Through this interest, you have learned that meditation is a way to help people focus better on the present and become more aware of their inner emotions and feelings. This is indeed the effect that meditation has, and it does help us to become aware of ourselves and feel our actual state.

From your perspective, it seems that you feel this is an experience you would like to have, but you may not be sure if you are suited to it.

In the beginning, you said that your mind understands that meditation is a good thing that will help you. If you don't choose to meditate, you will feel a loss, so you will try. As you try, you will pursue efficiency and quick results because of your personality. However, meditation is a slow process of entering the meditative state by regulating your breathing, regulating your thinking, and adjusting your body's state. This process may not be suitable for you, which is what you mean by "trying it out."

Given the fast pace and efficiency of your daily life, it may be challenging to suddenly shift your personal rhythm. It's understandable that when you first start meditating, you might feel a sense of impatience, even to the point of feeling unprepared to move on to the next stage when you listen to your teacher's guidance.

Or could it be that we are still in the early stages of exploring the world of meditation, and that our awareness of ourselves may not yet be fully developed? It's possible that our thoughts can sometimes run away with our minds.

The teacher's guidance is slow and encouraging, with the hope that we can all learn to pull back from the thoughts that distract us. This process can feel slow and uncomfortable at times, and it's natural to question whether it's right for you.

From my perspective, I believe it might be helpful to consider the following: When you meditate, is your mind still active? What could you do to make meditation more effective for you?

I wonder if meditation is perhaps a rather slow process. My current teacher's guidance is quite slow, and I find myself feeling a bit restless and impatient. Could it be that your mind is still quite active in your thinking?

Meditation is a practice that encourages a person to focus their mind on their current physical state, allowing them to perceive the sensations of their organs, cells, and body in a state of flux.

If we focus too much on the teacher's speech, which may be a little slow for some, and perhaps don't fully accept it or follow the teacher's guidance, it can make it more challenging to feel at ease.

This character trait of yours does not mean that you are not suitable for meditation. Rather, it suggests that you may benefit from relaxing your mind a little and focusing on the teacher's guidance. Following his guidance, we can shift our attention to the aspects involved in each step he mentions. This could help you achieve a noticeable state of well-being.

For this reason, your personality is unlikely to be the determining factor. Additionally, it's important to recognize that opportunities to engage in meditation training may be limited.

Have you found that you tend to give up after a few attempts? It can be challenging for contemporary young people to enter this state, particularly given the fast pace of life.

Given the fast pace of life for young people today, it can be challenging to slow down. It's important to consider your current situation and the demands of your daily routine. If you work at a high intensity and feel stressed daily, it might take some time to enter this state. It's not as immediate or straightforward as we might imagine.

I would therefore suggest that you try a few other meditation techniques. It may be that your current state is caused by excessive professional stress, a depressed mood, or something else. You can choose the type of meditation you want to do according to your current state, which should help you resolve your confusion at the time and quickly enter this state, experiencing the beauty and relaxation it brings.

The second question is that you love psychology very much. Do you think you could rely on this knowledge and skills to support your daily life and work if you don't meditate? You are worried that if you don't meditate, on the one hand, you feel that it is a good thing and you seem to be missing out if you don't do it. You are very worried about the consequences of not meditating on yourself.

I can appreciate all your thoughts. You want to seize every opportunity. Could this situation mean that you are more inclined to strive for perfection?

Do you have the hope that the outcome of the whole thing will be exactly as you want it to be? If that is the case, I think that when we encounter a good opportunity, such as meditation, which can relax the body and enhance self-awareness, we can try it and seize the opportunity.

However, it is important to recognize that fully realizing the advantages and benefits of this requires constant perception and understanding. It is not a matter of setting a goal and insisting that it be achieved. In that case, if we first set a goal for ourselves, we may unintentionally put ourselves under a lot of pressure. As you also mentioned, you yourself hope to improve your awareness and concentration.

Perhaps you could have asked questions on our platform or consulted with a relevant psychological counselor before. It seems that your awareness is quite good, and your concentration used to be perfectionism. You hope to turn this imperfection of perfectionism into a positive.

Perhaps a helpful approach would be to consider what constitutes a positive outcome. It could be that slowing down or focusing on one thing at a time helps to prevent the tendency to multitask.

Perhaps it would be helpful to re-examine the word "concentration." While it does mean focusing your attention on the task at hand, it does not necessarily mean that our energy cannot be dispersed. It does not necessarily mean that while doing one thing, we cannot absorb other things.

Perhaps it could be said that when we do everything, we are mindful of the state of the moment and focus this concentration on the task at hand, rather than on the state itself.

For instance, if we have five tasks to complete in a day, it may be more beneficial to focus on how to complete each task effectively, rather than solely concentrating on maintaining a state of mindfulness.

For instance, if we have five tasks to complete in a day, it may be more beneficial to focus on how to complete each task effectively, rather than solely concentrating on maintaining a state of mindfulness.

It would be beneficial to distinguish between the two. If you enjoy psychology, it could be helpful to improve yourself by listening to books, reading books, reading articles, or reading knowledge.

For meditation, if you gradually adapt and change yourself as described above, you may have some concerns about relatively mechanical or perfectionist changes. These goals guide this way of thinking. With each successive practice, you can gradually return to a state where you can enter meditation. Since each meditation audio may not be long, we can use these short minutes or ten minutes every day to practice.

It may be helpful to observe the changes in yourself during each meditation. I believe that your awareness, on the basis of continuous improvement, could potentially greatly help your concentration. You may find that you understand what you are concentrating on better. Is it a state?

I hope you don't mind me asking, but are you still focused on this matter?

I hope you will be able to gradually incorporate the content you desire, based on your current capacity to accept and absorb psychological knowledge, and achieve your desired outcomes in a step-by-step manner.

I wish you the very best.

If you would like to continue our conversation, please click on the link to "Find a Coach" located in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I would be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.

Yixinli We are happy to answer any questions you may have about Hall Mutual Aid Community, the World, and I Love You. Please visit https://m.xinli001.com/qa.

Hello! I am pleased to have seen your request for help, and I am confident that my sharing will provide you with the support and help you need.

From your description, it is clear that you have an understanding of psychology and are actively using your knowledge to cope with and improve problems in life and work. You must understand that psychology can enable change, but it requires awareness, experience, and trial.

You must first recognize that change is necessary. The second step is to actively learn relevant psychological knowledge and skills with your awareness. The key to whether these knowledge and skills can help you is whether you can integrate them into your life and use them to guide your life. This means constantly experiencing and trying therapies that suit you under the guidance of self-awareness.

If your body and mind do not strongly resist or reject the process, it is a clear sign that these skills and therapies are right for you. Don't judge whether psychological skills and therapies are useful to you based on whether they achieve the changes you expect.

When we are troubled by problems, we experience intense pain. This causes us to want to get rid of the pain as much as possible. We are eager for the knowledge and skills we have learned to completely rid ourselves of the pain in a short period of time. We often ignore small changes, deny the attempts we have made, and doubt the knowledge and skills related to psychology. We may even deny from within our personality that we are not suited to a certain treatment technique. For example, you may think that your personality is not suited to meditation.

You must let go of the expectation of a perfect result from any kind of psychological therapy. No technique or therapy can suit anyone and solve any problem a person has. Each therapy has its own limitations. When you can try to face meditation with an objective and relaxed attitude, you may truly experience and feel the effect of meditation.

This applies to any psychological knowledge and therapy.

Meditation requires a person to completely empty their mind and feel the present moment with complete concentration of attention. This is a big challenge for many beginners, but with the guidance of a professional instructor and repeated practice, it will have better results.

Your description makes it clear that your desire to try meditation and other psychological therapies is rooted in your internal perfectionism. You avoid facing the anxiety and panic generated by your inner less-than-perfect self because you cannot accept your imperfect, flawed self. What do you think?

Let go of the expectation of perfection. Face yourself honestly, accept your limitations and shortcomings, and at the same time, discover more of the bright spots and advantages in yourself. Use psychological knowledge that makes you feel physically and mentally comfortable, and therapy to improve your shortcomings and deficiencies. For example, cognitive therapy can change your internal unreasonable cognitive patterns, such as catastrophizing, black-and-white thinking, and overgeneralization. Humanistic therapy can help you accept your true self, learn to better accept yourself, cultivate self-confidence, and find the resources and abilities you have to cope with difficulties, such as learning ability, awareness, execution, and the ability to obtain external support. You can also better dialogue with your inner self by keeping an emotional diary and taking deep breaths.

Choose to do anything without being motivated by fear. Don't expect perfection. Your heart will be at ease, and the changes you want to try will happen. What do you think?

Dear questioner, Thanks for the question.

After reading your question, I can see that you have some doubts about yourself and your understanding of meditation. I'd like to get involved and discuss this topic with you.

1. Let's talk about perfectionism.

You mentioned that you have high standards for perfection. From what you said, it seems like you're a problem-oriented, results-oriented person who is more concerned about efficiency and even quick results. You also said that you're a bit impatient when doing things, so you've tried several types of meditation seriously, but unfortunately you've only had a superficial experience with them because you don't feel any pleasure. To be honest, you even feel a bit tortured.

It's true that you have this need for perfection. But I'd like to talk about the idea of perfection from a realistic point of view.

Perfection can actually be called imperfection. Many works of art convey this concept to us, such as the broken arm of the goddess Venus and the bitten apple of God.

It's fair to say that perfectionism is a tendency, but it's not something that can be fully achieved. Perfection and imperfection exist in the world like a pair of twins, as do good and bad, black and white...

When we're not divided, but complete in our own right, we'll see that perfection meets imperfection, and they're a complete existence.

2. About concentration.

In terms of concentration, I used to be a serious perfectionist. For a year or two, I trained my concentration too much. I focused on the present moment for everything, big and small, in my life. I couldn't concentrate on anything else at the same time or receive any other information at the same time. In life and work, there is still a need to pay attention to multiple things at once and listen to multiple sources. I might have a shadow of this.

So, the questioner seems to think that concentration can be trained and is limitless, right?

In real life, many of us have some misconceptions about concentration. We often think that it can be trained, but that's not actually the case.

As mentioned in the book Willpower:

First, your willpower is limited, and it will run out if you use it.

Second, you draw on the same well of willpower for different tasks.

Simply put, your issue and this quote from the book are one and the same. You're using your willpower to train your concentration while simultaneously using it to think about why you can't concentrate on two things at once.

For instance, your willpower is typically at 100% capacity, but now you have to train yourself to focus, which uses up 30% of your willpower. At the same time, you find that it is really difficult to do things with the aim of training yourself to focus, so you start to have thoughts and emotions.

The willpower you use up on these thoughts and emotions is also thought to be very high, which is why you feel so uncomfortable. It's better not to train this concentration, as it's more comfortable.

Basically, there's a problem with the way you think and the way you practice.

3. Personality Not the best fit for meditation?

Meditation has nothing to do with personality. When we meditate, we're basically just reminding ourselves to let go of judgment and let these thoughts come and go. We're also reminding ourselves of what this thought or feeling (emotion) is.

If you're feeling anxious about achieving results, you've already deviated from the original aimlessness of meditation. In other words, you're using energy to do things with a purpose, no matter what you're doing.

The effects of meditation don't happen overnight. They're the result of a gradual accumulation over time. This is because it takes time for the brain's neuronal circuits to be shaped.

When we notice these thoughts or emotions that drain our willpower and energy during meditation, we're often shifting from unconscious consumption to conscious consumption. What's conscious is easier to manage. When these emotions and thoughts are manageable, our willpower is less depleted, and we can focus more on the present moment.

Another example is if we're aware that we're angry about something and have the ability to deal with this anger, rather than repressing it, then the anger can't be suppressed into the subconscious and it won't consume more of our willpower. This means that the power of our willpower is equivalent to having an extra part of it.

This means we'll be better at remembering and observing our surroundings, as well as having more energy to deal with this information and things.

I hope the above answers are helpful to you. Best regards, [Name]

Dear questioner, Please accept my warmest regards and a big hug!

I am Sunshine, and I am grateful to have this opportunity to connect with you here at Yi Xinli.

I would like to express my gratitude to the original poster for taking the initiative to become more aware of themselves, which has led to the topic being discussed.

I wonder if I might be suitable for it, and whether I should meditate.

• It would be beneficial to carefully read the question the original poster is seeking to discuss, as this may help to identify potential avenues for exploring the answer.

I have also given this topic some thought and would be happy to share my reflections, along with more than three years of practical experience and ideas, for the questioner's reference only.

Perhaps we could try...

Perhaps we could begin by taking a moment to sort out the situation described by the questioner and try to interpret and analyze it together.

I have often wondered about this question and have heard many people talk about meditation. I have also done some research on the topic. From what I have learned, meditation seems to be a beneficial practice with many advantages. I feel that I may be missing out if I do not incorporate it into my life.

However, as I tend to be a problem-oriented and result-oriented person, I have sometimes rushed things a bit. I have tried several types of meditation very seriously, but unfortunately I have only had shallow experiences because I don't feel pleasure, and to be honest, I even feel a bit of suffering.

1. Could my personality be incompatible with meditation?

2. Would it be acceptable to forgo daily meditation practice if you are able to apply the principles and techniques of other psychological approaches to support your daily life and work?

From the questioner's narrative, it seems that the questioner is open to trying new things. I admire the questioner's persistence in thinking and taking action.

It may be the case that the more straightforward something is to learn and master, the less likely it is to produce results. This seems to align with what the questioner described, namely that it's easy to "stop learning after a short while."

Could I ask how long you have been practising? Would you be open to trying the simplest method of observing your breathing, or have you already explored other methods?

It is worth noting that the frequency of practice may influence the extent to which one can perceive the effects. Based on my personal experience of over three years of meditation practice, I have observed that the effects can manifest in unexpected moments or encounters, and I have also had the experience of entering a trance or meditative state for a few seconds.

— A brief response to the question at hand:

I wonder if my personality might not be well-suited to meditation.

It is worth noting that the vast majority of people can practice meditation, and that there are no people with more serious mental illnesses.

When you first start practicing, it's best not to set specific goals for yourself. Instead, try to make it a daily routine in your life, work, or studies. If you have time to practice, then practice; if you don't have time, then don't practice. It's important to remember that it's not a good idea to force yourself to achieve "results" within a certain period of time. It's similar to forcing yourself to behave according to the goals you have set. Over time, you may find that you become bored when you don't see immediate results.

—— We all enjoy fun and interesting games, so it might be helpful to think of meditation as a new "game" to "train your concentration/live in the present moment." There's no need to worry about whether it's effective or not; you can simply give it a try and see if it works for you someday. Since it's a game, you can do it in whatever way you like!

It is important to note that there are certain individuals who may not be well-suited for meditation, such as those suffering from schizophrenia or severe depression.

It is important to note that incorrect meditation may have side effects. For example, prolonged meditation in an incorrect sitting position may cause joint damage. Some people also use meditation to relieve stress to the point of escaping from reality, or believe that meditation is the solution to all problems. These types of people may be prone to interpersonal problems and even gradually detach from reality. Finally, some people may experience painful sensations or hallucinations during meditation. If they cannot handle it correctly, it may cause various physical and mental problems.

2. Would it be acceptable to forgo daily practice if you could support your life and work with the knowledge and techniques of other psychology?

The questioner is quite perceptive, as everyone has a multitude of ways of living in the present. Just as the questioner once "overfocused," it is important to find a balance and a "degree" for everything. The key is to ensure that the practice does not cause any psychological burden.

I believe there is one point that is worth mentioning. It is said that meditation can improve awareness and concentration. In terms of awareness, according to the comments of various teachers on me, it was already quite good. In terms of concentration, I used to be a serious perfectionist, and for a year or two I overtrained my concentration. I focused on the present in everything big and small in my life, to the extent that I could not multitask at all and could not receive any other information at the same time. In life and work, there is still a need to pay attention to multiple things at once and listen to multiple parties. Perhaps this is something to consider.

(Please continue the conversation in the comments section.)

People with a perfect character often lead a very challenging life, striving for perfection in everything. How does the questioner feel about that?

I wonder if you might be feeling tired?

It could be said that imperfection is, in fact, a form of beauty, and that this is something we should all strive for.

I would like to share that a few years ago, I began practicing meditation with the intention of aligning myself with a group. Following the pandemic, I had more time at home and the opportunity to join a global network of over 1,000 individuals engaged in meditation. Gradually, I developed the habit of meditating. Initially, I meditated for 3 to 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, and eventually 30 minutes a day. As my circumstances changed, I adapted my practice time to align with my needs.

It is important to remember that at the beginning, it is not necessary to worry about the results. Instead, it is sufficient to focus on observing your breath for a few minutes. Allowing thoughts to come and go in a calm and unruffled manner is also beneficial.

If I might make one more suggestion, perhaps you could try...

In this case, depending on the specific circumstances of the individual in question, one possible approach could be to try addressing it in the following way:

[1] It might be helpful to accept your current state and try to find enjoyment in it.

For instance, you might consider doing this once or twice a week. If you're just starting out, you could try meditating for 5 to 10 minutes.

If you find meditation challenging, you might like to know that there is actually a "Meditation Planet" on the Yi Xin platform where you can try it out.

If I might suggest, perhaps you could try following your breathing. There's no need to change the rhythm of your breathing; just do it as you normally would.

[3] If it is possible for you to do so, you might like to consider joining a group to meditate together. Although meditation can often feel like a solitary practice, the support of collective strength can make a significant difference.

[4] For those just starting out, Dr. Kabakum's book, "Mindfulness, the Moment is a Flower," is a great place to start. The key is to develop a habit, and the goal is to appreciate the beauty of your life. Looking at the character "念" (nian), you can imagine it as the present moment, and your thoughts are here and now. Other distractions can all "go away."

I hope the questioner has good fortune on their side!

[5] If the questioner is interested in changing their emotional state, it might be helpful to maintain communication with a professional psychologist or doctor. Additionally, "Mindfulness-Based Emotionally-Focused Therapy"

If you try it and find that meditation is not for you, it's understandable. We have many other ways to live our lives, after all.

I have written about my experiences with meditation and mindfulness. If the questioner is interested, they can read about it. For example, they might find it helpful to read about "Zen meditation" or "walking meditation." In fact, after you have mastered meditation, you can practice it at any time. For example, you could try eating with mindfulness, eating fruit with mindfulness, walking with mindfulness, and so on. In reality, we mostly use it to regulate our emotions. There are many ways to learn to focus, and there is always one that suits the questioner!

The above is a response that combines the questioner's question. It is my hope that it will attract more thoughtful responses and hopefully inspire and help the questioner. I would be grateful for the opportunity to engage in further in-depth exchanges. It is my sincere wish that the questioner will soon be able to "see the sun through the clouds" and experience "meditating on the truth," so that they can live a carefree and happy life!

I hope this finds you well. I just wanted to drop you a quick line to say that I'm thinking of you.

I am here to bring you sunshine, to brighten your day, and to remind you that you are loved. ??

Your work and life will not be directly impacted by whether or not you meditate. There are many ways to grow yourself, and you should choose the one that suits you. Don't dwell on this. As long as you are happy and benefiting from it, it doesn't matter which method you use.

From your description, I found a contradiction. You said you're focused on the present, but you felt tormented during meditation. This shows you're not in the present during meditation. It's because you're not in the present that you've concluded meditation isn't for you.

Tell me, do you feel it too?

I have also participated in meditation before. At first, I had a lot of distracting thoughts and could not focus at all. However, as I became more aware of myself, I slowly connected with myself better. In this process, observing one's own thoughts is a rare gift for getting along with oneself. But in fact, I don't meditate often. I feel that life is full of practice and awareness, so I don't stick to any one method.

Growing up is a lifelong process, and at different stages, there may be some adjustments. In short, you must find what suits you. Just go with the flow and follow your heart. There is no need to compare yourself with others' standards and judge yourself.