Two months left for the college entrance exam, feeling constantly exhausted and extremely anxious, what should I do?

Many things have happened recently, and it feels like there is unrest. We often feel like we are living in a chaotic era, where people feel the coldness of the world and nothing is certain. You may be facing this too.

As a high school senior, you have two months until the college entrance exam, which is stressful. You've been taking online classes, which can make your eyes tired and give you a sense of fear and numbness towards electronic products.

After waking up, you might feel depressed. Then reality hits, and you have to face the college entrance exam. Your parents may also have expectations of you, and you may feel aware of your shortcomings.

You were scolded a lot by your parents. Sometimes you took notes but didn't review them. We know how memory works. If you don't review, you'll forget almost 80% of what you learn.

We need to give ourselves more confidence to review well. We can earn as much as we review. You have a lot of anxiety and worries. Face them. Take action now.

ZQ?

My dear child, after reading your description, I really want to tell your parents to let go of their anxiety. I know you're trying hard! I also want to give you a big hug!

I also have a child in his senior year of high school at home, so I totally get the current academic pressure you're facing. The difference is that I understand him. If I were in your shoes, as a mother, I'd want to share my views with you.

First, because of the pandemic, you have to take online classes at home, which is already a test of your independent learning ability. Coupled with the anxiety of your parents, which has been transferred to you, it has once again made you feel a bit powerless, which is totally understandable!

Secondly, your parents might say that you've been like this for a while now, since you lost a mark for listening. It's understandable that they're feeling anxious, as they care about you and want you to succeed.

Parents in China want their kids to succeed, and they're no exception. What they don't realize is that for teenagers, especially those in their senior year of high school, and given that they're still learning how to communicate with you, the more they talk, the more mistakes they make!

Then, all you have to do is take a deep breath and calmly tell your parents: "I know you are worried about me, and you hope that I can get good grades and go to a good school, so that I can give you a satisfactory answer and also make you proud. But what I need now is your help. Will you help me?"

(Write down your hopes and demands for them in advance, then talk to them about them. Prepare for everything in advance.)

Then, this is the bottleneck period before the college entrance examination. It's so important to remember to adjust your mentality, and to encourage yourself. Believe that you can overcome yourself, and that you can do better! It's so great that you're willing to come to this platform to share your thoughts and feelings. It shows that you're already trying to help yourself!

I've got a little advice for you, too! Use the online platform to post your own updates and record your emotions in words. It's a great way to vent, too!

I encourage you to give it a try. You never know what might happen if you don't give it a shot!

And finally, I want to say to you: you know what? The bigger the pot, the slower the water boils.

Other people's pots are small, so they boil quickly. But your pot is big, so it takes a little longer.

You might not be as good as others now, but you will be better than others in the future! Don't give up, kid!

Dear student, I hope my reply can be of some support to you.

With the college entrance exam only 60-odd days away, you have been able to attend classes every day, finish your homework, and keep up with your studies. In my opinion, you have surpassed many children. It is understandable that the pressure of the college entrance exam, your parents' expectations, and their past treatment of you have had an impact on you. It is admirable that you are brave enough to ask for help and recognize the need for change.

It is not uncommon for parents' expectations and worries about the outcome to overwhelm the child.

I imagine you felt quite frustrated and perhaps a little self-blame when your parents blamed you for missing the exam by just one point. Now, as you prepare for the college entrance exam and the pressure is mounting, I wonder if you're feeling a little afraid of not doing well, worried about how your parents will treat you again, and perhaps a little worried about not getting good results and making your parents unhappy?

It is important to remember that they care about the attitude of their parents towards them.

As the college entrance exam approaches, they may be concerned about the possibility of receiving a less than optimal result and the potential for being held accountable by their parents. It is not uncommon for parents to have high expectations of their children, and when they feel a lack of personal security and self-worth, they may unintentionally transfer these feelings to their children, which can cause significant distress.

It would be beneficial to express your needs and seek your parents' support.

It is important to maintain boundaries and return what belongs to your parents. During the growth process, parents often have a significant influence on their children, who may feel a need to obey them and seek their approval. It is natural for children to want to obey their parents and also to want to obey themselves, but there can sometimes be an internal conflict and a denial of oneself.

It may be the case that parents have certain expectations of you, even if they are not always expressed.

It might be helpful to communicate your needs to your parents. Life is a process of experience, and I believe that I am the master of my own life. Perhaps you could tell your parents that you would appreciate their support as you face the future. I would really appreciate your love and support.

It is important to maintain your personal space and to recognize when it is appropriate to involve yourself in other people's matters.

It might be helpful to return to your childlike self, maintain boundaries, and distinguish between your own affairs, my affairs, and our shared affairs. It's often the case that the person who bears the greatest consequences bears the greatest responsibility.

The road ahead may present some challenges. Do you have the resilience to navigate difficulties? Your parents' feedback can also be a learning opportunity. How do you respond to constructive criticism and constructive suggestions from others? Some people may offer you opportunities to learn and grow through their actions, while others treat you with kindness and warmth.

When we come to this world, we are alone. How do you view the opinions of others?

How can we best be ourselves? It's important to be mindful of how others might influence us emotionally and to maintain our personal boundaries.

It would be beneficial to consider that a lifetime requires constant experience and exploration.

It would be wise to live in the present and not miss the scenery along the way.

It might be helpful to remember that you are still young and have endless possibilities. The college entrance exam is just one point in your life. It's possible that no one wins their whole life because they do well on the college entrance exam, and it's also possible that no one loses their whole life because they do poorly.

While the result is important, the process is arguably even more significant. It is advisable to trust the law, appreciate the beauty of the journey, embrace the present, and focus on your strengths. The past is what it is, and the future is uncertain. Being courageous and true to oneself is essential.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello, classmate. I understand your anxiety, and I'm here to help.

Let's talk about what you're worried about.

You're in your third year of high school, and the college entrance exam is just two months away. With the pandemic, all offline classes have been switched to online. This makes a big difference in how you feel about online and offline classes. Online classes are obviously much easier than offline classes, and there is not a lot of pressure. This has caused you to become a bit lax. Coupled with the pressure from your parents, you feel that the pressure is coming back, and you feel a bit overwhelmed.

You overthink everything. You were scolded by your parents for a long time because of your listening comprehension problems when you took the middle school entrance exam. This left an indelible impression on you. You feel that if you don't do well, you might get scolded by your parents. This has instilled in you the psychological fear that if you don't do well, you will be scolded.

Your fear of English is understandable. English is a compulsory subject in the college entrance exam, so it's natural to be concerned that your fear of the middle school entrance exam will reappear. However, you can overcome this anxiety.

My advice to you is this:

You need to give yourself some positive energy. The college entrance exam is a turning point in life. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you still have the experience of not doing well in English in junior high school, communicate with your parents about it. You will only grow up if you let go. You will not be afraid of the same experience playing out again.

Have a good chat with your parents. The college entrance exam tests your ability to handle pressure, so let your parents spend more time talking with you and don't let them put too much pressure on you. You have to walk the path ahead on your own, and your parents can't do it for you.

You must face this with a calm heart, make yourself happy every day, and do more relaxation exercises every day, such as listening to music, to slowly release the pressure before the college entrance exam.

You should communicate more with your teachers. They also went through the college entrance exam and are experienced. They can help you.

I believe that communication is key here. It's important to speak up and share your thoughts with your parents. They should not be putting too much pressure on you.

Hello, young people with beautiful years!

First of all, you did a great job preparing for the exam at home to help with the management of the epidemic. Your hard work and appropriate self-regulation really showed!

Since you've been home for so long, you might hear your parents' gentle reminders from time to time. You mentioned "pressure," and when we face pressure, we have an amazing ability to find ways to make things easier for ourselves.

Parents may want to change you, but what they need to change most is their own mindset and behavior. And that's something you can help them with!

Your college entrance exam results will absolutely determine your entire future! And having a higher degree will certainly have a positive impact on your future job prospects!

But what do you like and what are you interested in? What learning method is the most suitable for you? These are the questions that are worth pondering and exploring with energy!

Go for it! Take on challenges with courage, and don't be afraid to try new things. Even if you fail, keep an open mind and learn from it.

No matter what you do to achieve a goal, remember that the final result is not something you strive for to make your parents proud. It is for your own life!

Embrace true filial piety by living your own life and participating in the social practice of the community of destiny!

You can still live a carefree life even if you can't change your parents' views!

3. Don't let English intimidate you! Make a goal to memorize a little vocabulary every day to increase your vocabulary.

Then you can try translating your feelings into English! For example, how would you say "I was scolded by my parents for a period of six months after I lost one point in the English listening section of the high school entrance exam?" or "I want to improve my psychological quality" in English?

If you can explain your feelings in a brand new way, you'll find fresh joy in learning! Don't be afraid of any insults.

Nothing can be achieved overnight, but that's okay! The love you receive now, even if you can receive it, may be followed by more difficulties in your life. But that's all part of the journey! I hope you are willing to retain this "flow of love," remember the feeling of being warmed, and then inspire yourself to swim against the current. You've got this!

From your description, I can tell that you have excellent learning habits in class! You take careful notes and do exercises on your own initiative, which is great. However, you could benefit from some motivation to review outside of class. With a few simple changes, you can overcome your procrastination, laziness, and anxiety to feel more confident and ready to take on the world!

It's as if there are two sides to yourself: one side, like an "inner parent," is ready to give you a big, encouraging pat on the back for all your hard work and cheers you on to keep moving forward, while the other side, like your "inner child," is ready to take a well-deserved break and enjoy a little rest and relaxation.

In reality, it is often the self that wants to rest [the inner child] that wins, and passive resistance is used in the form of procrastination.

But the inner parent in your heart will always encourage you to do your best, so you'll feel motivated to get started on your work!

Your parents have high expectations of you, and that's a good thing! They're invested in your success, and they're willing to hold you accountable.

And the expectations your parents have for you are further internalized and become your own demands on yourself. Once you fail to live up to your parents' expectations, you have the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience.

And the great news is that studying is not just about meeting your parents' expectations. It should be something you do for yourself!

The knowledge you have acquired is your very own!

The school you get into is your own resume—and it's yours to make your mark on!

And the career you pursue in the future is something you get to choose for yourself!

...

No matter how much pressure there is from parents, it is just their beautiful expectations in their hearts, nothing more!

Maybe it's to make up for their own regrets, maybe it's to save face, or perhaps it's because your parents can't accept the imminent separation from you...

For yourself, it's about so much more than just working hard and constantly striving for your goals!

And being true to yourself means you can accept yourself, take a break, and accept the consequences of your mistakes!

No matter how much your parents scold you for losing that one point, you should be confident that this one point does not mean that you are a bad student. You know that you are good enough, and that is enough!

The college entrance exam is a very important moment in your life!

Work hard, and don't worry about anyone else's expectations! You've got this! No matter what happens, you'll have no regrets!

If your parents are putting too much pressure on you, it's time to take a step back and give yourself some space! Talk to your classmates and teachers – they'll be happy to hear from you!

And here's another thing: you should also learn to return your parents' emotions to them. See the emotions behind them that are generated for their own reasons.

It's time to re-examine learning for yourself! Don't let anyone else, including your parents, stand in your way.

Best of luck!

Hello, sweetheart. I'm Coach Xinfan. Thanks for listening.

You've worked hard. Let me give you a hug.

You're under pressure from the college entrance exam and your parents.

You want to work hard and you have been trying your best, but you have been severely criticized by your parents. This has made you feel very frustrated and sad.

Let's look at your self-denial, self-doubt, and self-rejection.

?1. You feel powerless because your parents criticized, denied, and blamed you.

Our parents' approval gives us a sense of self-worth and makes us feel independent.

People who are constantly rejected, criticized, and blamed by their parents have a low sense of self-worth. They are easily hurt, sensitive, and suspicious. They develop an inferiority complex and cannot accept themselves.

?2. Your procrastination is also due to your parents' criticism and punishment. These have left a deep psychological shadow on you.

It's safer to not take action.

3. Pressure causes anxiety.

Anxiety is worrying about the future. It uses up our energy, and we only have a limited amount. Where is the energy to do other things?

Your brain is in a constant battle between what you "should be" doing and what you "is" doing.

The best way to deal with anxiety is to focus on the present. You can relieve anxiety by doing things in the present.

There are only 69 days left until the college entrance exam. The easiest way to prepare is to meditate by focusing on your breathing. This can also relieve insomnia.

Breathing, meditation, music, exercise, writing, drawing, and cleaning can relieve anxiety.

Focus on the inside.

Try to get away from your parents when they pressure you.

Studying, the college entrance exam, and your future are important. Parents can only guide you for a while.

You decide your future.

Parents have their limits. They believe that academic performance is the only way for their children to succeed. They think exam scores are more important than their children's physical and mental health.

This is their limitation. They want you to do well on the final exam so you can go to a good university and have a good life.

Don't forgive your parents, but try to understand why they did what they did.

In these last 69 days, I will teach you the simplest method: learn to "detach" like the Monkey King.

When your parents nag, criticize, or negate you, tune them out.

The most important thing for parents is to solve it after the college entrance exam. Looking at your current anxiety, worries, and your parents' harsh criticisms from the perspective of three months, even a year or ten years later, they will no longer be a problem.

Think in a more complex way, consider different views, and see the truth in more situations.

The college entrance exam is important, but it's not the only thing that matters.

Use a calm mind to deal with the college entrance exam. Listen to music every night and imagine yourself taking the exam. The more specific, the better. This will help you feel less nervous on the day of the exam.

I hope this helps. I love you!

To continue the conversation, click "Find a coach" in the top right or bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, my child.

I want to hug you. You're facing the college entrance exam, and you have your own study pressure, as well as pressure from your parents. This double pressure has made you lazy and procrastinate.

You were originally a highly motivated child, and your current dissatisfaction shows that you still are.

The motivated you is lacking motivation to study now. The main reason is:

Your parents are wrong to scold you for getting one point less in the English exam in the middle school entrance exam. This has left a psychological shadow on you.

The college entrance exam is more important than the high school entrance exam. If you don't do well, I guarantee you your parents will be furious.

My child, you have the mental strength. It's not that you don't have the mental strength, but that when you need support and encouragement from your parents, you don't get it. You also have to bear their pressure and possibly even their accusations.

You need to know what to do when faced with such parents. I'm going to tell you.

1. Seek help from the teacher and tell them your needs. Your needs are for parents to speak less, support more, encourage more, and not criticize or accuse. Let the teacher communicate with the parents, and the parents will listen to the teacher's advice at this time. This will give you at least 60 days to quietly review.

2. Find a learning method that suits you. Immerse yourself in your studies for the next 60 days and you will improve by more than a few tens of points.

First, list the knowledge points in each subject that you have not mastered. Then, go back to the textbook and review them accurately. For each knowledge point you have filled in, do at least 10 related questions, find the solution rules, and then affirm yourself to increase your confidence.

Secondly, half of the class is following along, and half is independent. Follow the teacher's steps and review your weaknesses.

If you understand it, you can move on to other knowledge.

Third, in the last month, you must practice more past papers and summarize the problem-solving ideas and patterns as you go.

Finally, you must maintain and strengthen your strong subjects while making up for your weak ones.

3. Eliminate distractions. Stop looking at your phone and concentrate on your revision.

This is my answer, and I'm confident it will help. If you're still troubled, feel free to follow me.

I am Xiaowei, a listening coach and learning motivation coach. I will accompany you through the college entrance examination.