Unable to face unemployment, too scared to attend interviews, experiencing somatization symptoms. What should I do?

Good day, my name is Jia Peng, and I am a student. I would like to extend a gesture of physical contact in the form of a hug. I believe that we can benefit from further communication.

It would be beneficial to reflect on the changes you have already made. As you mentioned in your question, you initially felt apprehension about submitting your resume, yet you proceeded to the interview despite the unfavorable outcome. This illustrates the potential for growth and exploration in the process of change.

One might inquire as to the motivating factors behind the decision to pursue employment, and whether the application process would have been undertaken with the same level of courage had the opportunity to reflect on the matter been available.

"In the process, I have already taken the first courageous step. Despite the unfavorable outcome, what emotions did the process evoke? What insights can be gained from the process?"

It is acknowledged that providing a definitive response to these questions in a limited timeframe may prove challenging. It is recommended that individuals consider seeking the guidance of a trusted friend or professional psychological assistance.

As you indicated in your inquiry, you experience physical symptoms when searching for employment. This is due to the fact that our previous experiences have instilled a sense of fear and frustration. In order to protect you, your subconscious mind produces physical symptoms that mirror the pain of the experience, thereby alleviating psychological distress. You may wish to consider reenacting the last interview process with the assistance of a professional psychological instructor to gain insight into your state and emotions at that time.

Furthermore, it is possible to distract oneself from these negative emotions through various activities, such as spending time with friends, listening to music, or going for a walk. These methods can effectively reduce psychological distress and suffering.

With regard to unemployment, it is a fact that has already come to pass. With respect to the question of whether one should confront this reality, there is no definitive answer that can be considered inherently correct or incorrect.

Furthermore, one may also discover new interests and opportunities through this period of unemployment. It is possible to define unemployment in various ways, such as "Thank you, let me grow again." The nature of unemployment can be either positive or negative, and there is no definitive right or wrong. It is dependent on one's perspective and circumstances at the given moment.

Ultimately, it is recommended that you attempt to foster positive emotions in your daily life, as this will enhance your mental resilience. It is hoped that the aforementioned suggestions will prove beneficial to you, and that you will achieve success in your endeavours.

Good morning, my name is Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Lu, and I am a Heart Exploration Coach.

When I first started working, I was also very confused. I explored various job opportunities and was hesitant to submit my resume due to concerns about potential rejection. I empathize with the questioner's situation, so I would like to extend a supportive gesture.

Given the concise nature of the questioner's text description, it is possible that the questioner is currently graduating and facing the challenge of job hunting. It is not uncommon for individuals to feel a sense of uncertainty and unease when they first transition from school to the professional world. It is likely that the questioner's concerns are not indicative of a significant issue.

What is the questioner's understanding of social phobia?

Social phobia is defined as an enduring, irrational apprehension of being observed by others in public settings. An individual with social phobia is prone to experiencing distress when they believe they may be embarrassed in such circumstances.

This individual recognizes that this apprehension is unwarranted and disproportionate, yet continues to be influenced by it and seeks to avoid circumstances where there may be public scrutiny.

It may be helpful for the questioner to assess whether their behavior aligns with the criteria for social phobia. Alternatively, it could be that their avoidance of such situations stems from a lack of confidence and a fear of failure.

It is important to understand the concept of rejection in the context of job interviews. The decision to hire or not to hire is a two-way process. Both the candidate and the company have the right to choose the individuals who best meet their respective needs. It is not a reflection on the candidate's abilities or the company's suitability as an employer.

It would be beneficial for the questioner to consider what they are thinking when they are afraid to send their resume or go to an interview. "5% Change" suggests that the most effective way to deal with constant worrying is to tell yourself, "Don't take chances, it's bound to happen" (not to mention that what you are worried about is already happening) whenever you worry about the unlikely event.

The final question is what measures you should take to prevent or remedy the situation. Once you have identified the necessary steps, you should proceed with them.

Additionally, the questioner may wish to consider what the most unfavorable outcome could be. When we prepare for the worst-case scenario, it often helps to reduce stress levels.

There is indeed a mutual influence between psychology and physiology. When the questioner is under excessive pressure, it is perhaps more normal to have a physiological reaction. If the questioner is unable to achieve self-regulation, they may wish to seek the assistance of a psychological counselor.

It would be beneficial for every city to have a job market. If the questioner feels more pressure about going to a company alone, they might consider going to a job market. There are many people and many companies, and the influence of the situation is more effective. When everyone else is doing it, you might also feel less pressure. Additionally, practicing in this kind of situation can also reduce the sensitivity of the questioner.

If you are pursuing an incompatible career path, your efforts will be futile. The individual in question has encountered numerous rejections, which may indicate that their desired position is not aligned with their strengths and weaknesses. Not all roles require social skills; some value professional ability more. It would be beneficial for the individual to identify their strengths and avoid their weaknesses.

It was suggested that in order to learn from one's successes, it is necessary to face the power of failure. If one were to give up after the first failure, it may prove difficult to succeed at the same thing in the future. Would this way of thinking help to improve the questioner's outlook? It may be more beneficial to start looking for a job and identify areas where one is unsuited to the role, rather than waiting until one is 40 years old and facing the challenges of life.

I would like to suggest the following reading material: "A Change of Heart" and "I'm Really Great."

Best regards,

If you imagine the result you should get, it will be negated by the cruel result of reality in the end! Fear makes you think that your shame is linked to the fact that you cannot accept your expectations, and this makes you doubt yourself.

It's totally normal to have doubts. We all do! But it's important to remember that doubt doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can actually be a sign that you're facing reality and that you're open to new possibilities. And learning through acceptance is a great way to go about it! This is just one part of the experience, and it's not the whole story. You have so much more to offer the world!

In psychoanalysis, there is the Oedipus complex. If narcissism comes from a need to generate value for oneself, and external attribution has made you lose sight of your own resources in the face of life's failures, your thwarted narcissism suppresses your need for more recognition. You can only attack your sense of self-worth with repressed emotions: "I'm no good, I'm incompetent." It's okay to feel this way! Idealization and devaluation are the same feeling. Perhaps you didn't see your parents or caregivers supporting and encouraging you in your pain during your childhood growth experience, and you were sure that your frustration was meaningful. It's understandable! Every time you notice a problem, it gives you discomfort, and you can only respond to this feeling by escaping. At the same time, you are unable to recognize your own feelings and awareness. This is totally normal! Your body is the only way you can feel the pain of your needs and express them. You use your thoughts to frustrate yourself and make your body feel uncomfortable, so as to obtain the only demand that can satisfy your desire for success. Just like the story of Oedipus, the man who always felt great saw his own jealousy in the water and drowned himself. It's a sad story, but it's important to remember that you are worthy of love and success!

It's totally normal to feel this way. You don't want to succeed because you're afraid that success will give you more guilt. Your guilt is based on your fear of your parents' condemnation, their rejection of you, their attacks, and their indifference. They also grew up with the experience that no one would like them.

Everyone has their own projections, but the needs you imagine depend on how you perceive yourself and the world. It's totally okay to have both the perfect and imperfect parts of your existence. Imperfection now does not mean you will always be imperfect. When you accept your own imperfection, you're already on the road to growth! You can explore your own problems on the platform and find a counselor or listener to accompany you in exploring this confusing issue together.

At the end of the day, we're all human. When times get tough, it's always a good idea to reach out to someone who can help, rather than struggling alone.

Greetings.

My name is Kelly Shui.

[I am unable to confront the reality of being unemployed, I am fearful of participating in interviews, and I am exhibiting symptoms of somatization. What is the most appropriate course of action?]

After reading the question, I empathize with your situation and commend you for seeking assistance.

[Regarding courage]

It is evident that you have self-diagnosed yourself with "social phobia." At what point did you recognize the presence of this condition?

"Social phobia" may be a label, but it is important to recognize that we are all dynamic individuals, and that different ages and stages of life will inevitably bring about such experiences.

The image that comes to mind is that of an individual who is more introverted and reserved, or someone who prefers to be alone.

The act of self-labeling is not inherently problematic; it can, in fact, serve as a catalyst for introspection and exploration.

1. Despite your lack of sociability, how would you describe your relationship with yourself?

Have we considered the potential of our own capabilities?

2: Was there a particularly strong relationship in the past? Some individuals may appear to have numerous acquaintances, yet they are unable to engage in meaningful communication with others.

3: What activities do you typically enjoy, and what factors contribute to your sense of confidence?

4: If a suitable position were to become available, what type of work would be more conducive to your professional growth?

The question thus arises as to whether individuals who are introverted or socially anxious are able to exercise a choice in this regard. It may be argued that they have the right to choose to do certain things.

Similarly, given my preference for solitude, I would select a profession that aligns with my interests, such as freelance work, which allows one to engage in activities that are personally fulfilling while also facilitating the formation of meaningful connections.

In the past, I also deliberately exercised my abilities and worked as a salesperson. In the process, I also learned the ability to establish deep relationships with people.

One can begin at the point of sending a resume, but then proceed to an interview. This individual is, in fact, courageous. Furthermore, one is more capable than those who contemplate action but refrain from taking it, and who seek assistance. One can trust oneself to possess the capacity to overcome obstacles.

[Grow yourself]

It is a common experience to feel frustration when one is rejected. During this period, it is beneficial to reflect on one's strengths, including one's comprehension of the industry, and identify one's preferences.

In the contemporary context, the mere mention of interviews is often sufficient to evoke feelings of anxiety and physical discomfort. It can be challenging to find an audience with whom to discuss these concerns.

It is also possible that you have friends or trusted individuals with whom you can discuss your concerns or feelings of unease.

Should you desire it, you may also pursue counsel from a professional counselor, who can offer a different perspective and analyze the current situation with you, and provide you with some support.

In the event that one is currently unable to confront the reality of unemployment, it may be beneficial to allow oneself a period of respite and reflection.

It is important to identify which party will experience the greatest distress if one chooses not to attend work. It is possible that the company which rejected the individual may not be the optimal fit for their skill set and experience.

It is evident that different units and positions have disparate requirements with respect to the individuals they seek to employ. Consequently, it is imperative to ascertain whether the issue pertains to the unsuitability of the position or to the inadequacies of the prospective candidate.

To illustrate, I lack work experience and was unsuccessful in my interview. I would have assumed that the company sought candidates with prior experience, rather than perceiving a deficiency in my qualifications.

When I adopt this perspective, I am compelled to consider which positions and units are likely to accept individuals without work experience. Given the current circumstances, it may be beneficial to gain a deeper understanding of my own capabilities and interests, and to explore potential career paths that may not be directly related to my academic major.

Given the recent decline in our collective well-being, it is imperative that we prioritize self-care, engage in activities that bring us joy, and explore avenues for collective growth.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to attend more book clubs and offline activities.

One may take as much time as necessary to secure gainful employment. However, it is also possible to pursue one's interests, select a vocation that aligns more closely with one's abilities, and engage in work that one is qualified to perform.

The world and I extend my sincerest regards.

The following books are recommended for further reading: A Sloth's Self-Care, The Courage to Be Disliked, and The Power of Self-Growth.

Hello, I'm Yu, a heart exploration coach. Your text was clear and concise. I admire your courage and understand your pressure.

Social phobia is not just being shy. It is a type of anxiety related to social interactions. People with social anxiety feel nervous, tense, and unable to concentrate.

People who are socially anxious think that others don't want to get to know them. They avoid meeting with their contacts. The questioner said that they were afraid to send in their resumes at first.

People who are socially anxious are afraid of embarrassment and asking for help. They try to keep conversations short. As the questioner said, they are afraid of interviews.

People who are socially anxious are afraid of being looked down upon. They rarely expose personal information in front of strangers. As the questioner said, after being rejected from an interview, they cannot try again.

Most socially anxious people don't like being shy. They lack confidence in making a good impression.

Ask yourself: What are my strengths and advantages? Are they on my CV? What work experience and skills do I have? Can I use stories from my past to show them?

What kind of work do I want to find? How can I find it? What materials do I need to prepare?

What is the ideal me? How can I become the ideal me?

List your strengths and weaknesses. Accept your shortcomings and love yourself.

Don't expect perfection. Life is a long race. Temporary success or failure doesn't matter. Allow yourself to start clumsily.

Start by challenging yourself with someone close to you. Look for a job and tell your family and friends you need help. This is the first step. Then, practice speaking by introducing yourself and expressing by telling your own experiences. This will help you improve your confidence. Sometimes creating a breakthrough can break a cycle.

We can also calm down when we're nervous. We can say "stop" and then tell ourselves, "This isn't true," or take a deep breath and do something else, like listen to music or stretch. Meditation and mindfulness are good ways to calm down.

When we accept our emotions, we won't have problems caused by holding them in.

Let's talk about the present. We need to empower ourselves, read, exercise, create social opportunities, experience relationships, and express needs. When your core is strong, you will confidently show yourself because all experiences are meaningful.

Recommended book: "You Are the Answer"

Social phobia and the fear of finding a job, interviewing for a job, and the reality of unemployment are all problems that many people may face at some stage. The following suggestions are designed to assist individuals in gradually overcoming these difficulties:

It is important to acknowledge that fear and anxiety are normal emotional responses, particularly when confronted with significant life transitions. It is crucial to avoid self-criticism while striving to accept these emotions and identify effective coping strategies.

Gradual exposure is an effective method for addressing social anxiety and interview fear. It involves initiating contact with relatively easy interviews or social situations and gradually adapting to more challenging ones.

Gradual exposure is an effective method for enhancing confidence and coping abilities.

It is advisable to seek support from family, friends, or a counselor to share your concerns and apprehensions. Their guidance and understanding can assist in managing these emotions more effectively.

Additionally, one may consider joining social or support groups to interact with individuals who have undergone similar experiences and to share experiences.

It is crucial to enhance one's competencies on a continuous basis throughout the job search process. This can be achieved through participation in training programs, independent study, and practical projects, which facilitate the advancement of professional abilities and interview skills, ultimately enhancing the probability of securing employment.

It is important to adjust one's mindset when facing unemployment. Rather than viewing this as a negative situation, it is beneficial to adopt a positive outlook and view it as an opportunity for growth and learning.

Furthermore, it is important to maintain a positive mindset and believe in one's abilities and intrinsic value. It is also essential to believe that the right job will be found.

It is crucial to prioritize one's physical and mental well-being when confronted with stress and anxiety. Establishing a consistent routine, nourishing one's body with a balanced diet, and engaging in moderate exercise can collectively assist in alleviating stress and maintaining optimal mental health.

It is important to recognise that individuals have their own unique pace and trajectory. It is crucial to avoid excessive anxiety and self-criticism and to maintain the belief that these challenges can be overcome and that each individual can identify their own path.