Very dislikeable friend, not of the same world, what should I do if I feel it's not good?

Hello, question asker!

It seems like you were really close to classmate A, but then classmate B transferred to the class and they became friends. They have similar personalities and B is also really good at her studies. So it's understandable that you're a little jealous. It shows how much you care about this friendship with A. You might be a little worried that B, who is better than you, will "take away" your original friendship. As you said, "I care about her very much," so it's normal to have this kind of anxiety.

I actually had this experience in junior high school. When my only "best friend" made other good friends, I felt a little left out. It was like someone had taken something I loved, so I felt really uncomfortable.

But there's absolutely no need to question yourself, either. Jealousy in "friendship" is a totally normal psychological state!

From a psychological perspective, friends and lovers are both attachment relationships. And jealousy is also a form of jealousy, an emotion that develops when we feel that the original relationship is threatened.

However, subsequent research has found that it's not just in romantic relationships that we can feel jealous of our best friends' feelings for someone else.

What is emotional attachment? It's that wonderful feeling of intimacy and affection we have for others. It's what helps us maintain long-lasting, meaningful, and happy relationships.

And the best part is, the presence of emotional attachment doesn't require sexual or romantic attraction. All it takes is a simple sense of intimacy to connect us!

For example, when you're feeling down and someone listens to you attentively, or when you're in a pickle and someone helps you out, it's a lovely feeling when you feel understood and supported.

It's totally normal to feel jealous when a third party enters the friendship. We all crave attention and it can feel like a bit of a distraction when someone new comes along. It's natural to want to feel noticed and seen, especially when we're already feeling close to someone.

The most basic reason for jealousy is that we feel the relationship is threatened by a third party, which triggers a "protection system."

It's so important to remember that jealousy that goes too far can damage a relationship. Even if the overly jealous person enters into a close relationship later on, they may still have an anxious attachment and insecurity in the relationship.

They might feel a bit insecure and worried that their partner might leave them for someone else.

So, how can we deal with our jealousy?

It's so important to learn to express our emotions correctly.

Jealousy is a sign that we care about our relationships. It's a way of showing our partners that we value them and want to keep our relationships strong.

If it's a criticism or complaint, it might not be the best way to handle things.

When we try to express our emotions, it's really helpful to state things from the perspective of "I," "I feel..." and "I hope..."

This kind of expression lets our good friends know that we're not trying to blame them. We're just sharing how we feel when they do this.

2. Use your jealousy as a driving force.

It's totally normal to feel a bit jealous when someone we care about makes a new friend. It's natural to feel a little inferior sometimes, and it's only human to worry that our bestie will suddenly disappear!

This kind of hostile relationship can really drag you down and make you feel awful.

On the other hand, even hostile relationships can develop in a positive way. We can view it as a healthy competition, using the "enemy" as a target to help us become better versions of ourselves.

3. Everyone has the right to make friends!

We all care about our good friends, but we can't control how they make friends. It's not fair to them or to ourselves if we try. So, let's cherish each other's friendships and respect each other. As long as we're sincere and truly care about each other, our friendships will remain strong, even if someone new comes along.

Wishing you all the best!

After reading the text, it is unclear what the questioner's meaning is. Does the questioner feel bad because she feels bad about herself, or because her friend did something bad?

"I have a very good best friend. Initially, I was extremely fond of her because she provided me with a sense of security that no other individual could. We had a strong bond and she was exceptional in every way in my eyes." Do you believe that you and this best friend have such a strong bond because you care about her a great deal, or because she offers you a sense of security that no other person can, making you feel that "she's exceptional" and care about her a great deal?

"Subsequently, another girl was integrated into my class. She demonstrated exemplary academic performance and exhibited superiority in numerous areas compared to me. The two of them exhibited similar personalities and fostered a positive rapport. However, this girl consistently instilled a sense of detachment, as though she existed in a different realm than me." In this sentence, the introduction of this girl has resulted in a notable shift in the dynamics of the relationship between the questioner and her best friend.

The new girl creates a sense of distance, making it seem as though she and the questioner inhabit different worlds. What is the source of this feeling? Is it because of a "competitive" dynamic between the two?

Do you engage in competitive behavior with your best friend?

"It is consistently an embarrassing situation, and at times, I experience feelings of fear and distress." Perhaps due to discrepancies in academic performance and other domains, the questioner feels a sense of embarrassment. There is a concern that these differences may result in a loss of proximity and, eventually, a severing of the friendship. The questioner experiences feelings of distress and distress.

"My friend posted a picture in her circle of friends as a means of articulating her emotions. Despite her mention of me, the font was that of the girl." Despite your friend's mention of you in her circle of friends, you still perceive a preference and closer relationship between your best friend and the girl. This causes you distress, yet you are unable to articulate your feelings—you are at a loss for words.

"I feel that this is very problematic, but I am uncertain as to how to rectify the situation." Does the question asker wish to alter this dynamic with her best friend, or does she seek to modify her own behaviour?

The experiences described by the questioner appear to be typical occurrences that are not exclusive to her, but rather are common among individuals on a daily basis. It is possible that the questioner is more emotionally sensitive, and that her best friend provides her with a sense of security, which may contribute to her perception of these events as significant.

Given that the new girl and your best friend share similar personalities, it is likely that you will be able to form a close friendship with her. It is also probable that you will become close to the new girl. However, it may take some time for you to adjust to each other's company. It is reasonable to suggest that you and your best friend did not become close immediately.

It is my sincere hope that the portions of my reply that prove beneficial to you will be of assistance. Best wishes!

The advent of a formidable third party in the erstwhile intimate relationship between the two individuals has instilled a sense of vulnerability and apprehension.

The relationship can be divided into two distinct parts.

The initial section of the text addresses the subject's relationship with their best friend.

The subject displays a lack of confidence in the strength and durability of the relationship with their best friend.

As can be discerned from the description, the subject in question provides the subject with a sense of security that no other individual can, and she appears to excel in all areas in the subject's estimation. This relationship appears somewhat imbalanced, as the subject seems to be highly dependent on the other individual, whereas the latter is not dependent on the former.

It is possible that the subject may feel that he is not worthy of the object's attention and may therefore experience feelings of inferiority.

The second area of concern is the relationship with another girl.

The other girl is frequently referenced in comparison to the subject, with the implication of competition. The other girl is described as having good grades, being superior in numerous ways, and having a positive personality.

However, the source of distress is the perception of a lack of friendliness and a sense of distance from this individual, which creates a sense of awkwardness.

This sense of distance may serve to reinforce feelings of inferiority, creating the impression that one is at a disadvantage in comparison to classmates who excel in academic, social, and personal abilities.

Emotions about Emotions

Your dissatisfaction with yourself, your inferiority complex, and your dislike of the other girl lead you to believe that you should not experience these emotions. Attributing your feelings of suspicion, sensitivity, and resentment to yourself is counterproductive and intensifies the pain you are already experiencing.

What is the recommended course of action?

The initial step is to acknowledge and confront one's emotions.

One must inquire of oneself: What are my feelings regarding the present relationship between the three of us?

Are these feelings a manifestation of an inferiority complex or jealousy?

Are these feelings of envy or hostility?

Are you experiencing feelings of anxiety or fear?

In what way might insecurity be a factor?

There is no objective moral judgement to be made regarding the emotions one experiences.

For instance, if one experiences feelings of inferiority, it may be beneficial to provide oneself with a comforting gesture, such as a hug. Similarly, if one encounters feelings of jealousy, it may be helpful to acknowledge the situation by stating, "I have encountered a formidable competitor, and I am experiencing a sense of crisis."

The subsequent objective is to focus on

What measures might be taken to facilitate improvement and enhancement?

What are the specific differences between us?

One might inquire as to whether there is a desire to emulate this individual.

What steps can be taken to become a better person?

Secondly, it is important to recognize one's own strengths.

You indicated that you and your best friend have a close relationship. Since she possesses the qualities that you value in her, she has naturally become friends with you, and you also have qualities that she values in you.

These are the qualities that distinguish you from others and are irreplaceable. They may manifest as gentleness, empathy, or a willingness to support friends and colleagues. It is essential to recognize these strengths as a source of resilience and strength in life.

In the context of education, learning is undoubtedly the most crucial subject for all students. The act of learning can potentially lead to feelings of pride or inferiority.

If one allows oneself to become preoccupied with feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, it will result in a depletion of the necessary energy to engage in the requisite study.

It is therefore recommended that students ask themselves more frequently what they can do, focus on their goal, and take action towards that goal.

Even if one's grades do not match those of one's peers, it is still important to recognize that one has made an effort and that this effort will not lead to any negative consequences.

I wish you the best of luck!

Dear child,

My name is Yi Ming, and I'm a heart exploration coach.

I have taken the time to read your question carefully, and I believe that many of us may have similar concerns during our growth process.

You have a very good friend, and now a new friend has joined, which may have caused you to feel a little lost.

I would be delighted to have a chat with you, and I very much hope that it will be some consolation and inspiration to you.

1. Consider how the friendship between the three of you is evolving.

I sense that originally, you had a very close relationship with your best friend, and that you cared about her very much.

With the arrival of a new friend, you may feel that your best friend is forming a close bond with this new acquaintance.

It might be helpful to consider that your new friend is in a different world than you.

At this time, we may feel that fear is not a positive emotion. I am already very sensitive, and now I have become even more suspicious and sensitive.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a step back and try to identify where things might have gone wrong in the relationship.

It seems that you and your best friend are close, that your best friend is close to the new girl, and that you feel a sense of distance from the new girl.

Could I ask whether you feel that your best friend has been taken away from you?

It might be helpful to give yourself a comforting hug.

It can be challenging to maintain three-person friendships.

Given the distance you feel from the new girl, there is no need to force the issue. It may be best to simply maintain an ordinary relationship with your classmates or friends.

There is no need to try to be close to both of them.

By following this approach, we can help to ease some of the internal distress.

It's also possible that you're concerned your best friend might be spending less time with you as a result of her increased attention to the new girl.

It is possible that a two-person friendship may make each other more important, and a three-person friendship may gradually become crowded.

It's natural to want to feel valued by our best friends.

It's natural to feel a range of emotions when we notice our best friend forming connections with others. We might experience feelings of jealousy, a sense of being left out, or even suspicion. It's important to recognize that these feelings are normal and to approach the situation with kindness and understanding.

This is simply a normal aspect of human psychology.

How might we best navigate these changes?

2. It would be beneficial to maintain the friendship between the two of you, while at the same time, try to socialize more and focus on your studies.

It's important to remember that life and friendships are always changing.

It is perhaps not reasonable to expect our best friend to be friendly only with us.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how your best friend would respond if another classmate showed interest in you and wanted to be your best friend.

It is perfectly normal for her to get along well with other girls. This does not necessarily mean that she is being unkind to you.

I think it's fair to say that the situation has just changed.

Perhaps we could try responding to this change in a positive way.

For instance, when feasible, we might consider communicating more with our best friend to maintain our relationship.

It is also important to respect the friendship between our best friend and other people.

Additionally, it might be beneficial to try to make a few more good friends and get in touch with other classmates more often.

You might consider participating more in class activities and discussions, which would allow you to spend more time with other people and give your best friend some freedom.

This may be a way to improve your relationship with your best friend.

It is always important to remember that self-improvement is key.

For instance, you might consider focusing more on your studies, which could potentially lead to an improvement in your academic performance.

In class, students who are generally good at their studies are often seen as attractive to other students.

We can also strive to cultivate a more peaceful outlook.

I believe that sensitivity is simply a characteristic, not a disadvantage.

We are aware that we can experience feelings of jealousy, but we strive not to allow these emotions to overwhelm us.

This is how we learn and grow.

I believe we all grew up this way, little by little.

Take a moment to acknowledge your own feelings and thoughts.

"I feel this is very bad, but I'm not sure how to change it." You are also actively seeking a solution. I admire your determination and resilience.

Please take your time, dear child. It's important to remember that jealousy can be a painful emotion.

Perhaps we could try learning to let go, to stop trying to possess, and to be happy for our best friend's happiness, and together find a way to get along that is comfortable for both of you.

I wish you the best of luck!

I would like to extend my love and best wishes to you and the world at large.

This new girl seems to have it all. She's got great grades and a great personality. But being perfect can make you feel like you're being judged.

It can be hard to find someone who is perfect for you. They often seem out of touch with reality, and it can be difficult to suddenly become down-to-earth. If someone who is better than you in every way appears, your first reaction may be fear, jealousy, or envy.

This could also mean that your ranking in the class will drop again. It's clear that this friend is not someone from your world. You already have a best friend who gives you a lot of security and comfort.

The new girl makes you feel awkward. You have negative and complicated feelings. Maybe it's because you don't know her well. Even when your friend mentions you, you still feel left out.

After all, the new girl is so outstanding that she shines in many ways. You've already recognized your sadness and released some suspected jealousy. You need to be clear about what you really want and what your current problems are. I suggest you talk to the school's psychology teacher about your views and think about your own interpersonal relationship plan. Try to realize that she is also just an ordinary person. Good luck!

ZQ?