What exactly is oneself? Will one lose oneself in change?

Hello there!

It's totally normal to feel this way when you're under a lot of pressure from studying, when your life feels a bit dull and predictable, and when you're trying to figure out what you want to do with your life. It's okay if you don't know what you want to do yet!

It's okay, we can think about it slowly during the growth process.

You're absolutely right! It will get better in a few years. Then you'll have graduated and your life will change, and studying won't be your main focus anymore.

But why wait for "life to change"? You can make a little change in your life right now!

For example, you could try growing a plant and watching it break through the soil and grow strong.

For example, you could go out with friends to an unfamiliar place for a trip, or just to hang out and let off steam.

For example, you could go for a lovely walk by yourself, taking in the beautiful blue sky and white clouds, and all the lovely changes in your surroundings.

For example, you could bring some cat and dog food and feed the stray cats and dogs in the neighborhood.

For example, you could write a letter to someone special. In it, you can tell them about how you're feeling. You can even choose not to send it if you want to.

For example, you could try paper quilling, pottery, art, leather goods making, flower arranging, photography, or anything else that requires time and effort to produce a work of art.

For example, you could get involved in some public welfare activities.

For example, you could try taking a different route home!

For example, why not treat yourself to a cake you've never tried before and go to a fancy restaurant you've never been to?

Hey there! I just wanted to encourage you to try new things and realize that there is so much more to life than studying. There's food, warmth, friendship, family, and all kinds of fun hobbies out there! The world is so beautiful and colorful, and it's important to remember that. I know it can be easy to get caught up in studying, but it's also good to take a step back and enjoy life.

Every answer you give, every word you write, every feeling you have, and every drop of sweat you shed will make a difference. They are all signs that the world will become a brighter place because of you.

The world will be a better place because of you! You are so unique and precious, and your presence will make a difference.

From what the questioner has said, it seems like they're probably at the end of junior high school or the beginning of high school, which is also commonly known as "adolescence."

This stage

It's a wonderful time of growth and development for you! Your body and all its amazing functions are changing rapidly, and you're at your peak of growth and development.

Psychological level: The rapid development of self-awareness is mainly reflected in the following points.

(1) They're really concerned about how they look and how they act. They keep asking themselves questions like "Who am I?" because they're really interested in their personality and emotional traits. They might be a bit sentimental and ask themselves the same question over and over.

(2) He really values his abilities and academic performance.

(3) He'll be really focused on developing his own personality. He'll also be very concerned about making sure he's the best version of himself he can be. He'll be sensitive to what others think of his personality.

(4) Has a strong sense of self-esteem

This is also something that can be tricky for the questioner. He really values his academic performance, but he's also worried about losing his individuality. He keeps asking who he is, because he's afraid of losing himself.

Once you understand all of this, you'll see that at this stage, we'll have lots of conflicting thoughts and feelings inside, but they're not opposing. No one is right or wrong, and it's totally normal. I'm so impressed that you're aware of this at such a young age!

Go for it! Study hard and get those good grades. You're the one who doesn't want to lose your personality, and you're also the one who keeps wondering if you'll become a learning machine. But I want you to know that studying hard and not becoming a learning machine won't make you lose yourself. Our personality and character are shaped by our parents' genes and the past ten years, and every day from now on will continue to influence us. So don't worry about it!

You are a smart child, and I also want to tell you that our memory will reach its peak in our lives and gradually decline afterwards. So whether or not you want to seize this stage to do something depends on you. This is life, and making the right choice at a stage is very important because time is limited. Wherever you spend your time, that is where the return will be. And some returns will affect your whole life, such as learning.

Good morning, classmate. You are at a critical juncture in your academic career, and I understand you are facing significant pressure. It appears you may be experiencing some uncertainty.

You are unsure whether you are a learning machine or a flesh-and-blood human being. Is this correct?

There is no need for concern. Let us examine this together.

It is not uncommon for individuals to experience confusion during puberty. The rapid development of sexual organs, particularly in girls who experience menarche and in boys who experience their first wet dream, can be overwhelming. Some individuals may undergo a shift from being active and outgoing to being shy and quiet. Additionally, boys may notice changes in their voice, such as a deeper or throaty quality, and the appearance of an Adam's apple, which signals the loss of childishness. This can create a sense of being thrust into adulthood without the necessary preparation. Have you ever experienced this?

Previously, your primary concerns were academic. However, at this stage, you may find yourself grappling with interpersonal dynamics with parents, educators, and peers. It's not uncommon for these relationships to become more complex.

This is a natural consequence of maturation. At this stage of life, individuals often engage in introspective reflection, questioning their identity and purpose.

Why am I experiencing this? What am I studying for?

What kind of person do I need to be in order to be liked? Furthermore, the challenges that arise during this period will serve as reminders that one's focus has shifted from solely academic pursuits to a broader range of considerations.

This is a summary of the psychological changes that occur during adolescence. At this time, individuals may experience a sense of confusion and distress.

You stated that you had previously been enthusiastic about learning and had high hopes for the future. However, when you reached the third year of junior high school, your grades declined. At that time, you were solely focused on working hard to secure a bright future and positive outcomes. You studied extensively whenever you could. Then, you abruptly realized that you had become detached and unemotional. You began to reject this aspect of yourself and developed a dislike for learning. What changes occurred during this period?

Are you experiencing relationship issues? This period is also the season when boys and girls are forming romantic attachments for the first time. It's normal for someone to like or be liked by someone else. Let me guess—is someone like you, and you just want to focus on your studies and don't want to be distracted by romantic interests, so you rejected the other person's advances. In fact, you also need this emotional connection. Forcing yourself to suppress that feeling also negatively impacts your emotional well-being. Just as you said, "In order to get good grades, I have to become a machine with no emotions."

"

A key aspect of adolescence is the conflict between self-identity and role confusion. As you have observed, this is a period of significant transition. Is the focus on studies driven by the child or the emotional self? These are two distinct aspects of the individual, and the constant conflict is a natural part of the process of self-integration.

I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that you are undergoing a period of growth and development. The concerns and difficulties you are experiencing are typical of this stage of life and are to be expected. When you are focused on your studies, it indicates that you are striving to gain admission to a reputable educational institution. When you are reluctant to become a mere "learning machine," it suggests that you are becoming more aware of your emotional needs. You are a physical and emotional being, and with each challenge you overcome, you are breaking free from your comfort zone and growing. If I say that you have changed, it is because the metaphor of a butterfly's wings represents the transformation you are experiencing. You are still the same person, but you are no longer naive. You are on the path to maturity. Do not be afraid, this is a positive process. When you understand this, you will be better equipped to navigate the challenges of studying, forming relationships, and growing up.

Classmate, you have not only maintained your identity, but you have also developed a new and improved version of yourself. Give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back for your growth and development.

I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to continue moving forward with courage and determination.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I am humble and modest, just like a valley.

I am forming my self-identity.

You are not a fixed entity. You are a constantly evolving being. To understand yourself is to understand that you are not a static entity. You are not a single, unchanging characteristic. You are a complex tapestry of appearance, character, and state. You are not a single, unchanging characteristic. You are a complex tapestry of appearance, character, and state. This is precisely what you mentioned in your description. You are not a fixed entity. You are a constantly evolving being.

Our age is characterized by a tendency towards fanciful thinking and the making of flawed assumptions. If we are not careful, we will find ourselves struggling. There is no benefit in becoming a mere machine that studies only for grades. Such a self is devoid of emotion and driven by a narrow utilitarianism. It is a self that has gained little from its studies.

Guided by such emotions, you pondered why you should study and what the benefits of studying are for you. Finally, you began to feel uncomfortable because you found that you could no longer answer these questions yourself. Know this: the one who studies hard is still yourself, just a changed self.

Study yourself seriously.

When you read carefully, you'll see that the characters and stories in the book seem to have nothing to do with you. After reading a few books, you'll think this is useless. It's not. Reading is about reading others and reading yourself. You'll always take something useful from other people's stories, and you'll make a better self by using those things that can be used for yourself.

Knowledge is not something we need to breathe all the time. It's clear that knowledge is helpful when we look at problems and solve them. For example, when you calculate the volume of a cuboid, you need to know the length, width, and height. Without that information, you won't get the answer right, no matter how hard you try.

This is the role of knowledge accumulation. It is also when we study hard that we meet a better spirit and soul within ourselves. We constantly learn and think, and in doing so, we become a person with a mind and soul. From the inside out, we achieve a state of inner beauty. When you study hard, you are not just an emotionless test-taking machine. You are shaping a better self in an unknown world.

You have my best wishes. The world is a beautiful place, and you are part of it.

Hello!

Host:

I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I read your post and I understand your confusion.

The poster has also shown courage in sharing his struggles and seeking help. This will help him understand himself better and become more well-rounded.

I will also share my thoughts, which may help you see yourself differently.

1. Story

After reading your story, I thought of a story Cong Fei, a teacher, told. It's about a person born in a country where Chinese is the official language. He believes speaking Chinese is who he really is, so he sticks to it.

When he meets an American, he can't communicate. He won't give up his language to speak English. He thinks they have different paths.

However, he also finds it painful not to communicate with Americans. He needs to for work. And he knows that if he communicates with Americans in English, he can live a better life.

But he feels that he would no longer be himself if he did so. So he is unwilling to change. He insists on remaining true to himself, communicating only in Chinese. He cannot stand people who change with the wind.

He hates them even though they have good relationships.

If the main character in this story was obsessed with speaking English, then only speaking Chinese would be himself. Have you noticed, host, that this is similar to the challenge you are facing?

When you study hard, you feel like a machine. When you don't study hard, you think about your grades.

Like the man in this story, we would say, even if it is in English, how is it not yourself? Then for the host, studying hard is yourself, and managing yourself from the emotional dimension is also not yourself.

You've made yourself better. You're still you.

People have different personalities.

2. Learn to balance.

We said there are many different personalities. For the poster, you need to learn balance.

Learn to balance learning and life, and learning and emotions. When we realize we're too focused on learning, we can stop and enjoy life.

Enjoy relationships with classmates and family. This makes us richer and more three-dimensional emotionally. When we realize we're pursuing this too much, we can also focus on learning again.

This may make you more vital.

3. Explore yourself.

In the post, the original poster mentioned the third year of junior high school, when their grades dropped. They only had one thought: they had to work hard to have a good future and good results. They studied as soon as they had time. Then one day, they suddenly realized that they were like a machine without emotions. They started to hate studying.

The host seems to think grades are important. Is that right?

Why do we have these thoughts? Do they come from us or from others?

We can think about this. Today, chasing results can cause confusion. Is it reasonable to chase results and excellence?

If it's not reasonable, we need to learn to replace it with something else.

I hope these ideas help and inspire you.

Greetings, dear child!

I hope you don't mind my asking, but I'm not sure how old you are.

I'm wondering if you might be feeling some pressure at school.

I would be delighted to have a chat with you and hope that I can be of some small assistance.

1. It would be helpful to understand the characteristics of this period of our lives.

I believe you are currently a student.

It is only natural to want to get better grades.

It can sometimes feel as though you become an emotionless machine when you are studying your major.

You may be wondering whether you are truly yourself when you are studying.

I believe that when you are studying, you are still yourself.

You have a good sense of it. You feel that if you only focus on your grades, you may lose sight of who you are.

I commend you for asking these questions.

This is simply the process of exploration.

It is not uncommon for adolescents to experience a period of uncertainty regarding their identity and role in life.

During this stage, they may find themselves pondering questions like "Who am I?" and "What exactly is myself?"

"Such questions."

This is a perfectly normal part of the process.

It is also possible that you may face academic pressure or pressure from peers, especially at this stage.

It is understandable to want to maintain your grades.

At times, when you are studying or revising, you may feel as though you are becoming a bit of a machine.

If I might suggest, perhaps it would be helpful to relax a little.

It's perfectly normal to have these thoughts or questions.

It would be beneficial for us all to take the time to get to know ourselves better.

You may find it helpful to allow yourself some time to explore.

2. Everyone is wonderful in their own way.

When you are focused on learning, you are simply being yourself.

When you think, "I have to work hard, that's the only way to have a good future and good results," it could be perceived as you.

If you find yourself worrying about losing yourself, it might be helpful to remember that this is something that you are experiencing directly.

It is not always the case that the importance of what we are learning is the most crucial factor. What is more important is that we are developing our ability to learn.

From this perspective, it may be more challenging for us to feel lost.

It is possible that some children may feel that some of the things they learn seem useless.

It might be helpful to consider that sometimes it can be beneficial to expand our thinking or exercise our comprehension and memory skills.

If you find yourself feeling tired of studying, it might be helpful to take a moment to relax.

It might also be helpful to do something you enjoy, as this can help you to feel less like a learning machine.

It is not always the case that we see immediate gains.

It might be helpful to try to shift your focus from grades to the learning itself, as this can help to keep us on track.

3. It may be helpful to gradually identify a learning rhythm that aligns with your individual needs and preferences.

Every child is different, and we should respect that.

It would be beneficial to recognize our own individuality.

When you are absorbed in your studies, you may feel as if you have reached a state of selflessness, which can make it easy to think about who you are.

I believe that learning makes each day seem different.

Have you ever had the opportunity to study bamboo?

For the first five years, the bamboo plant grows roots underground and does not grow much above ground. From the sixth year onwards, it grows rapidly, reaching

It has been estimated that it can reach a height of 30 meters.

In the course of a year, this bamboo undergoes significant changes on a daily basis. Would you consider it to still be the same?

We might sometimes be compared to a bamboo plant that grows rapidly.

It is only natural to have doubts and feel confused from time to time.

This may also suggest that we could benefit from gradually integrating ourselves into a larger whole.

If I might suggest, it would be best to go at your own pace.

If you feel inclined to study with great dedication, it might be helpful to take a moment to relax and slow down.

Dear child, While change is inevitable, it is not something that should make you feel lost. Instead, it is an opportunity for you to adapt to your new self.

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to try to synchronize the actions of the mind and body.

If it might be of interest to you, you may wish to consider reading "The Remarkable Me."

I wish you the very best!