What if it is easy to get emotional every day due to the influence of others and you are always bothered by something?

Good day!

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the ways in which your habitual thinking and psychological perception that you are often "too easily influenced by the feelings or feedback of others" might be causing you suffering.

I hope you will find the following thoughts helpful to refer to as you wish.

You mentioned some emotional experiences and behavioral habits that might be worth exploring further. For instance, you said that you feel uncomfortable when others give you feedback about the food you've eaten, and that sometimes what others say affects you.

It is possible that psychological states and behaviors such as neglecting one's own opinions, hiding oneself, caring about rejection, and catering to the words and expressions of others may indicate a certain tendency towards a pleasing personality, regardless of the purpose.

It would be beneficial to recognize that this pattern of thinking and behavior may not be conducive to one's well-being. If left unchecked, it could potentially lead to a loss of self and even dependence on others, which could have a significant impact on one's normal work, life, and interpersonal relationships.

It could be said that excessive concern about how others perceive us and a tendency to avoid conflict are driven by a desire for love and security.

It is possible that the deep-seated causes may be related to one's own growth experiences and traumas, or the influence of improper parenting methods by direct guardians.

If there is a reason for this, it would be beneficial to objectively face the past and pay more attention to the present.

It is important to remember that past experiences and traumas are in the past. While they may have an impact, it is your own efforts and changes after the fact that are most important.

To help reduce the negative emotional experience brought about by thoughts like "When you think about it, it makes your heart feel very sad and suffocating," it might be helpful to first take the initiative to get to know and accept yourself.

It may be helpful for the questioner to consider taking the initiative to get to know and accept themselves.

It may be helpful to consider using your unique strengths of sensitivity and heightened awareness to find your own unique value and boost your self-confidence. It might also be beneficial to consider not limiting your self-assessment to the responses and expressions of others.

It would be beneficial to consider removing the mask of agreeableness in order to establish a sincere and equal connection with others.

Even when the other person clearly expresses their disapproval of you, it is still important to stand your ground and show your attitude of firmly defending your own image.

It is also worth noting that in most cases, other people's expressions and responses may not necessarily reflect reality, but rather our own personal feelings and subjective judgments.

Another way to approach this is to be kind to your emotions.

It may be helpful to start by accepting negative emotions such as "uncomfortable," "regret," and "excitement" with an open mind. Consider labeling the emotion, observing it carefully, experiencing it, and getting to know it.

It may be helpful to accept your emotions in a loving way and try not to be controlled by them.

As a final suggestion, it may be helpful to consider making some changes to your behavior.

When you encounter situations that make you feel "uncomfortable," "regretful," or "disturbed," you might consider pausing your thoughts for a moment, taking a deep breath, and then telling yourself something like, "That's not the case," "I believe in my unique value," and so on.

You may find that pausing and responding in this way could help you feel and perceive yourself in a different way.

I hope this is helpful for you in some way!

Hello,

You say that it's easy to be influenced by other people's feelings. For example, if you invite someone to dinner and they tell you that the food is not good, you'll feel bad about it and feel guilty for days. You'll even regret inviting them to dinner at this restaurant.

They're troubled by these emotional experiences, so they dwell on them daily. You think, "Don't think about these issues. You don't want to recall these experiences because it hurts."

I'm sending you a virtual hug, hoping you feel a little warmth.

Yes, nobody wants to remember such an experience. But that memory is like a root that keeps coming back to mind and just won't go away.

This state of mind is really frustrating. Sometimes you even start to blame yourself for thinking about those problems all the time. It's really negative, it's counterproductive, and it's sad.

How can you not think of it?

There's a little experiment in psychology. The experimenter asks everyone not to think of a pink elephant.

Then they asked everyone if they wanted a pink elephant. They told everyone not to think about pink elephants, and sure enough, everyone thought about pink elephants.

From a psychological standpoint, it's impossible to control what you think about and achieve the desired result. We all fail at this to some extent.

Since this is something that humans can't do, we should accept that we can't do it either. As humans, there are many things we just can't do.

Some habits can be replaced if there are alternatives. If we have habits, we need to do something to generate new thoughts and replace the current thoughts a little.

This is just how people are. The more you try to keep your mind on task, the more it will wander.

If you try to control it, it'll just keep coming back. So instead of trying to control it, you can just make it less likely to pop up in your mind.

For instance, you can refer to the bothersome thoughts you'd rather not dwell on as "pink elephants." A "pink elephant" is simply a minor distraction. If you don't chase it away, it'll eventually dissipate on its own.

If you don't chase it away, you just greet it, then get back to your other tasks—eating, drinking, chatting, working, studying—without delay. You'll gradually reduce the frequency of its appearances until it's just a distant memory.

Just accept it. If we can accept the pink elephant, that's how we can accept the common characteristics of all human beings.

It doesn't matter if it pops up in our minds. If we notice it, it's like a cloud floating by. "It's okay to see it. Let it drift away on its own."

"

It has to go without a trace. If you keep watching for signs, it'll never leave.

When you start to think about the pink elephant again and feel bad, let your body experience it. See where in your body that discomfort is and what kind of reaction it will have. Use the palm of your hand to soothe and release the pressure.

If you feel like you're being suffocated, you can do the butterfly flap, tapping your chest regularly to calm yourself down. You can also choose to exercise appropriately, do something you like, listen to music, watch TV dramas, etc.

If you need help, you can contact a counselor to walk you through this process. They can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, understand yourself better, and allow yourself more.

I think it's important to remember that the world and I love you, and you should love yourself too.

Hello, question asker. It's like meeting someone in person when you read their words.

From what you've told me, it's clear you have excellent awareness. Most partners get stuck in a bad state, but you were able to release it and ask for help, which is the best thing you could have done. So, allow me to give you a big virtual thumbs-up!

Let's talk about your state.

You said, "I feel that I am too easily affected by the feelings or feedback of others. For example, if someone tells me that the food I bought them tastes bad, I will feel very upset and emotional. I will dwell on this for days, feeling guilty and regretting taking them to that restaurant. I will also think about it before going to sleep." From what you have written, I would like to know:

1. When did the state of being "influenced by the feelings or feedback of others" first appear?

2. Before coming to the platform for help, what methods did you use to resolve this situation?

3. I want to know what is behind "uncomfortable" and "excited."

4. I'm going to tell you what's hidden behind "tension," "guilt," and "regret."

I mention these four points to draw your attention to a rare quality called "good empathy." As a companion to the other person, you will habitually observe the other person's reactions and pay attention to their feedback on an issue, and feel empathy for that feedback. This is all perfectly normal. However, if you overdo empathy, there is a risk of falling into a state of internal conflict. The more common awareness methods for adjusting and alleviating this state of internal conflict are "larger-picture thinking" and "issue separation."

I'll use the examples you gave as examples.

1. You feel bad when someone gives you bad feedback after you have treated them to a meal. You are good at empathizing with other people's feelings and reflecting on your own.

You invited someone to dinner. Whether they enjoyed it or not is up to them. It has nothing to do with where you took them. We don't deserve to carry other people's problems on our backs.

2. You regret taking someone to a certain shop. – Forget regret. Use a word that is less self-critical: hindsight.

(Being aware belatedly means that we still realized the limitations of that store. The next time we go to a similar type of store, we will avoid the pitfalls based on this experience.)

3. You allow other people's words to affect your mood and become entangled in relationships. This can be translated to another dimension, which is called "being sentimental."

(Only someone who cares about a relationship will be affected by a certain remark in the relationship.)

Look, you'll see that it's full of bright spots if you approach what has happened from a different perspective.

My dear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking about these things. In fact, you have used this opportunity to release your anxiety and face it head-on, which is a very solid step in your self-adjustment process.

You will get through this. Have patience with yourself and know that your friends are behind you, supporting and accompanying you.

You just need to be yourself, from start to finish. I wish you the best and hope we meet again someday.

Hello. I have read your description, and I can tell you exactly what's going on. Let me analyze it based on my experience.

You care a lot about what other people think of you and you long for positive feedback. There are many reasons for this, but the most likely one is your upbringing. For example, your parents were strict and critical when you were young, and you rarely received praise.

You want to prove yourself and do your best at all times. You want to be recognized by others. This is a subconscious habit.

Everyone has flaws. Even the saints have to reflect on themselves three times a day, let alone the rest of us. It's time to accept that people have flaws. Just as there are invisible bacteria floating in the air all the time, flaws are everywhere. What is a flaw in one situation can be a strength in another. Flaws and strengths go hand in hand and are relative. Different people have different perspectives and evaluation standards, and what one person sees as a flaw may be a strength in another's eyes. These are the truths!

The questioner must think carefully about these fundamental truths and truly believe in them.

You can interpret specific things that bother you from multiple perspectives. For example, in the example you gave about treating someone to dinner, first of all, the other person's negative feedback is about the taste of the food, not about you as a person or a complaint. Second, you need to think about the taste.

You chose this place because you thought the food tasted good. That means your two have different food preferences. You didn't cook the food, so you didn't do anything wrong. There's no need to feel guilty. When the other person gives you bad feedback, ask what kind of taste he likes. Or recommend a place to meet again next time.

You must view your relationships with others in the right light. "Sometimes a comment from someone else can affect your mood." These other people are insignificant. Your happiness or unhappiness has nothing to do with them. The important thing is that you live your life well. You are not living for them, and they have no right to judge you. Even if someone else says something, they are not judging you.

If a relationship has ended, focus on the lessons learned and give yourself some quiet time to think thoroughly about what you have learned from the experience and how you can avoid the same problems in the future. You will not miss the opportunity when the right person comes along because you will have learned from your mistakes.

Are you ready to tackle some important matters? This is something worth devoting yourself to.

Set a goal, create a plan, and complete it.

That's all. I know it'll help!

You've got this!

Hello. I can relate to the challenge of processing feedback and comments from others in a way that is both constructive and respectful, while also acknowledging the tendency to ruminate and self-criticize.

From a psychological perspective, this is often related to self-worth. When we use other people's reactions to evaluate or define ourselves as good or not, and whether we are worthy of love and affection, it can be challenging to maintain a sense of self-worth. The more we worry that we are not good enough, the more we fear rejection and negation, and the more afraid we are, the more sensitive we become.

You mentioned that you feel guilty and uncomfortable when the food you cooked is not well received. It's not uncommon to feel this way when we've put our heart and soul into something and it doesn't meet the expectations we had for it. It's natural to feel a sense of disappointment when things don't turn out the way we hoped. It's also common to feel a sense of self-blame when things don't go as planned. This can happen when we base our self-evaluation on external standards, such as feedback from others. Once we've made a mistake, it's easy to be overly critical of ourselves and dwell on what could have been done differently. This can lead to feelings of regret and remorse.

It is worth noting that there is no definitive standard for what to serve when you invite someone to dinner. Whether something tastes good or not is a highly subjective personal feeling that can often fluctuate. It is also possible that the other person is simply expressing their opinion about the food, and when you interpret it as a personal judgment on you, you may be exaggerating its significance. For example, if someone says a certain dish is not particularly tasty, it is important to consider that they are simply sharing their opinion and not making a personal judgment about you.

Additionally, having a multitude of expectations for oneself can also lead to feelings of psychological burden and depletion. For instance, if a certain expectation is not met, it can be perceived as a personal failure, a lack of competence or adequacy, and may result in a downward spiral of self-doubt and negativity.

It is possible that these patterns are related to growth experiences. If the family was strict when you were young, it could potentially lead to challenges in the child's self-identity and an unstable sense of value.

One possible way to begin reducing internal conflict is to try not to fight against your emotions. It might be helpful to understand your inner desire to prove yourself and to be better, and to allow yourself to feel uneasy about the difficulties in reality.

I believe that confidence can be cultivated by allowing ourselves to embrace our true feelings without denying or repressing our emotions. By doing so, we can gradually expand our psychological resilience. I consider myself to be emotionally rich and acutely aware. While this awareness can sometimes cause suffering, it also allows me to see more clearly within. I can use this ability to explore and develop myself.

You might find it helpful to keep an emotional diary to help you observe your inner feelings without judging them. When you notice self-doubt or self-doubt, you could also try replacing it with neutral or affirmative expressions. For example, you could replace "I'm so useless, I messed up again" and "I'm not liked by others" with "I'm willing to organize dinner parties to get everyone together, I'm very active."

"Some people like this, some people like that – it's natural for people to have different preferences." "While it's not within my control whether others like me or not, I've met people along the way who appreciate and like me, and I'm hopeful that I'll continue to have such positive experiences in the future."

I can also try to remind myself that I can always love myself, and that I can try other exercises like that.

The questioner is great!

I'm Kelly Shui, and I'm thrilled to be here with you today!

[What if it's easy to get emotional every day due to the influence of others and always feel troubled about something?]

After reading your question, I'm excited to learn more about how long this has been going on!

I can also see that you want to help yourself and are willing to share your recent situation with us here, which is great!

Let's talk about it together!

[About emotions]

I would absolutely love to guess that you are a person who silently bears the pressure yourself!

I'm excited to hear how you feel when someone else's comments or feedback, even a single sentence, affect your mood! And I'd love to know if your family, friends, or lovers also brought you similar emotions and feelings in your past environment.

For example, do you feel guilty? Do you feel uncomfortable?

You find their behavior unacceptable, and you don't quite approve of or like it?

We may not be able to change what other people do, but we can be aware of our own feelings and thoughts, and consider what emotions these words and actions bring us. And that's something we can control!

Maybe we have wanted to vent and respond, but because the other person is our family member, friend, or lover, we have chosen to suppress it and bear it silently.

We can try something really fun to vent our emotions by borrowing literature! These are our own emotions, and the words just trigger my feelings and even my thoughts.

Recently, you said that when you think about these things, you feel suffocated. The good news is that you can seek professional counseling or a listening therapist to talk about these feelings. It's also possible that your emotions want to express something, which is something to be excited about!

Now, let's talk about self-care!

We all know how it goes. We don't like to hear things we don't want to hear, and we want to forget them.

The more you don't accept it, the more you resist the voices that don't belong to you, and force yourself not to be swayed by them!

Maybe you are also a bit strict with yourself? You don't allow these bad voices to influence you, which is great!

Absolutely! If we think that people are emotional creatures, it is totally normal for us to care about some people and voices.

Embrace a diverse world, welcome different voices and people, and know that every experience is meaningful because life is an incredible journey of continuous discovery!

This will make us feel so much more relaxed, and we'll be able to go do all the things we like and meet all the people we like!

For example, when you're feeling down, go for an amazing walk and enjoy the beautiful flowers and birds in nature. Or go shopping with a friend and have a blast!

And there's more! You can also learn and read to avoid falling into self-doubt.

Guess what! When we're in the middle of an emotional experience, we might think about treating someone to dinner and then regret it. Or we might think about a difficult relationship experience and then feel bad. But here's the good news: all of this is a great reminder to love and care for ourselves!

When we feel that we are the most important person in the world, we will joyfully let go of other people and things, including comments and feedback.

I really hope you can feel the love, care, and warmth from everyone here!

Believe in yourself too! It will get better and better!

The world and I love you so much!

I'm so excited to recommend these books to you! "The World is Worth It" and "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone" are absolute must-reads.

Hello, dear topic starter! I'm sending you a big, warm hug. I used to be just like you. I would agonize for days over one person's words. I would always let other people's words affect my emotions.

Later on, after a lot of psychological learning, I discovered that my character of being prone to internal conflict and entangled in love was caused by my own family of origin.

I used to be a complete pleaser. There were times in my life when my parents would belittle and undermine me for various reasons. It was so hard! Once they couldn't see a good outcome, they would panic and put pressure on me.

So when I spend time with them, I try to wear a mask and live the way they expect me to, being careful not to rebel in any way. If I can't meet their demands, they get upset and angry, and they'll verbally abuse and attack me.

Over time, I felt like I was stuck in a deep quagmire. When I was with them, I was always really polite, afraid to speak my mind, and afraid to express any opinions that differed from theirs. It was as if if I weren't excellent, perfect, and able to meet their needs, I didn't deserve to live in this world and would only be humiliated by them.

Deep down, they see me not as a living, breathing human being with emotions, but as a tool that must fulfill all their narcissistic fantasies.

A parent who truly loves their child will still love them even if they don't become the outstanding person they hoped for. My parents themselves lacked the ability to love, and they were unable to give me true love, only false love. This is the truth, and sometimes it can be hard to accept, and even make you doubt yourself a little. It's okay to ask yourself how parents could not love us.

But the truth is the truth, and we've just got to accept it.

When we see the truth, we can stop trying to please others for the rest of our lives and just be our true selves.

(1) Seeing our own vulnerability

At home, I always try to do my best for my parents. At work, I try to impress my boss. When I don't meet their expectations, I feel really bad and think, "Why am I so stupid?" I'm really hard on myself. I bet there are lots of people like me. We're so hard on ourselves, and we must lead very difficult and exhausting lives!

We try so hard to meet the expectations and demands of our parents, leaders, or others, but we still can't make them happy. It can be really disappointing when we fall short of their expectations. We live cautiously, and we are afraid of not being able to meet their demands.

I really hope we can all see our own vulnerability. We are not tools to satisfy other people's needs, and we are not emotionless machines. Why can't we just not do it? If we don't do it, will we die?

Oh, my dear friends, why do we keep exhausting ourselves like this?

Have you ever wondered what we're really anxious about? When we were little babies, we had to please our parents because otherwise we wouldn't have any food or water and we would die!

But now that we've grown up, there are so many ways to make money and survive! We don't need to rely entirely on our parents, but we still sometimes worry a lot.

It's so hard when we feel like we're still weak and powerless, while the other person seems strong and unshakable. It's natural to feel scared and let the other person dominate our lives. It's a scary feeling, and it's easy to think that if we don't please our parents or leaders, we'll be punished and retaliated against. It's hard to know how to survive in this society. It's a scary thought that we'll die if we don't please them.

It's so hard when our fears can't be completely alleviated. We want to please them and make them happy, but they are always unhappy at some point. Sometimes when they change their expression or let out a sigh, we have to be on our guard, fearing that they will explode at any moment. It's so hard to be in a state of panic and fear, braced for the worst.

We never know when they'll change their moods, and that can be really tough. It's so important to be on high alert every day. Over time, it can feel like we're in a black hole of emotional depletion, constantly being consumed and becoming more fragile.

(2) It's so important to learn to separate issues and establish boundaries.

If I don't meet the demands of my leader, he gets upset and says some not-so-nice things to me. He thinks I'm not good at my job and doesn't like me very much. This is something my leader struggles with a lot.

If I don't meet my parents' needs, they might tease me, give me a hard time, or ignore me. They might even think that I'm not worthy of being their child. It's sad, but they don't like me or hate me because of this. It's just one of those things.

It's not up to us to change how our leaders and parents see us. They've got their own ideas about us, and that's okay! What we can change is how we see ourselves. Even if my parents and leaders don't see me in the best light, that doesn't mean I'm a bad person. If I've done something wrong, I'm ready to learn and do better.

But if they cross my boundaries because of their personality problems, I'll remember that it's not my job to doubt myself just because they're accusing me. What other people think is their business, and what you think is the most important thing.

(3) It's time to stop living for others and start living for yourself!

We've all been there, trying to please others and depend on them, like a rootless duckweed drifting along. It's time to find the roots of our true selves and slowly take root in the soil, absorbing nutrients and growing up slowly.

It's so important to listen to our hearts, make our feelings important, stop doubting ourselves because of other people's opinions, stop trying to please others, prioritize our own needs, and listen to the most authentic voice in our hearts. Over time, we will gradually feel that our hearts have become precious.

I hope we all have the courage to let go of external judgments and find that true self deep within. For the rest of our lives, we will no longer try to please others, but simply be our true selves.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, I got your message and I'm happy to help. My name is ZQ and I'm a heart exploration coach on the Yixinli platform. I can see that you're easily influenced by others and that certain things bother you, which is a contradictory state. This may mean that your heart is sensitive and when you're troubled by certain things, your inner perception is also experiencing some imbalance.

Our hearts are delicate, so we're easily influenced by what others say and bothered by things that don't feel harmonious. For instance, if someone you invited to dinner gives you feedback that the food wasn't great and you feel bad about it, you've already done your part by inviting someone to dinner.

As for whether it tastes good or not, it depends on a lot of things, like the restaurant's service quality, the chef's level, and how picky your guests are. Some people are just pickier no matter what they eat.

If you eat too much meat, you'll feel greasy, and if you invite them to eat some vegetables, you'll feel like you can't cook them well. It's a bit contradictory, isn't it?

When something like this happens, don't blame yourself too much. You've done your part.

If they have any other suggestions, you can ask them to let you know directly in advance next time. You can even consider asking someone else next time. There's no need to feel guilty about internal conflict. Whatever other people say, it's just the context of what they said. You don't need to dwell on what they actually said.

You just need to figure out what kind of change you can make next time that'll be better for you. Also, you still have some emotional experiences that might affect you. So, you need to think about what that emotional experience is.

We can't easily change what's happened to us emotionally in the past.

But we can change our own perception, try to achieve a balance, and accept the existence of contradictions because they're almost always present. As long as anything happens, there is almost always a point that you find unacceptable. Then we actually have to accept those contradictions.

It's okay to accept things that make you feel uncomfortable. We also need to be more flexible in our personal perceptions. The more flexible we are, the better we can accept the uncontrollable aspects of life.

You can't change what's happened in the past, but you can change how you think about it.

These comments can be positive and constructive, like the dishes you ordered this time. If they didn't like the food, you might want to ask their opinion in advance or ask them to recommend a restaurant. Then, you can just pay next time.

On another note, if something someone said bothers you, ask yourself why they said it. Did they really mean it?

It's worth noting that regardless of what someone says, there might be some underlying issues. We can identify these and avoid being led astray.

There must have been a reason for the past relationship. Now, we can also see from some of the less-than-positive past experiences what kind of person we are really suited for. Next time, you can use your discerning eye to choose the right person for you. We also recommend that you be able to have the necessary psychological counseling to help you calm down and resolve some of the internal conflicts and repression. Good luck!

ZQ?

Good day. It is evident that your emotional state is currently quite complex. You appear to be susceptible to the influence of others' sentiments and feedback, which in turn gives rise to feelings of distress and unease.

It is important to note that this situation is not your fault. Many individuals are affected by the actions of others, and this is an inherent aspect of human social interaction. However, it is possible to learn how to better manage one's emotions and reduce unnecessary concerns.

First, let us consider this from an alternative perspective. It is likely that your negative emotional response to feedback from others is driven by a desire to care for their feelings and gain their approval.

It is not uncommon to desire recognition; however, an excessive preoccupation with the opinions of others may result in a loss of self and an inability to be authentic. Therefore, it may be beneficial to shift one's focus from external validation to introspection and self-awareness.

Let us discuss your emotional experiences. Relationships are inherently complex and nuanced, and at times, it can be challenging to exert control over one's thoughts.

It is important to note that dwelling on past experiences does not alter the past and can result in an endless cycle of worry. Furthermore, focusing on the past can impede one's ability to fully appreciate the present.

It is therefore recommended that you attempt to relinquish past emotional experiences, preventing them from becoming impediments to your future progress.

In psychology, the concept of "emotional regulation" refers to the manner in which individuals manage and adjust their emotions in accordance with the demands of different environments and situations.

The capacity to regulate emotions is of paramount importance to one's mental health and well-being. When confronted with adversity or challenges, individuals who are able to actively regulate their emotions will be better equipped to cope with these difficulties and maintain a balanced state of mind.

In order to enhance one's emotional regulation abilities, it is first necessary to relieve tension through the implementation of relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation.

These techniques can facilitate relaxation and reduce stress. Secondly, one can attempt to distract oneself from negative emotions by engaging in physical activity, listening to music, reading, and so forth.

As a final recommendation, it is advised that individuals attempt to share their feelings with family and friends in order to seek their support and understanding. This approach has the potential to not only alleviate the burden experienced, but also to strengthen the relationships in question.

It is my intention to proffer a series of specific recommendations that you may wish to consider implementing in your present circumstances. It is my hope that these suggestions will assist you in more effectively managing your emotions and reducing your tendency to react excessively to the feedback provided by others.

1. Breathing exercises and meditation: When an individual experiences an emotional state, it is recommended that they locate a tranquil environment, close their eyes, take a deep inhalation, and then slowly exhale. As they do so, they may wish to imagine expelling the negative emotions from their body.

Meditation is also an effective method for calming the mind by focusing on one's breathing or a specific sound.

2. Distraction is an effective method for coping with intense emotions. Engaging in an alternative activity, such as reading, watching a movie, painting, or exercising, can help redirect one's attention and alleviate the intensity of the emotion.

These activities have the potential to temporarily alleviate distress and facilitate emotional relaxation.

3. Maintain a journal or record of emotional experiences: At times, the act of writing down one's emotions can facilitate a deeper comprehension of and more effective coping strategies for these emotions. One may consider maintaining a daily record of emotional experiences, along with the underlying reasons for these emotions.

This will facilitate a more nuanced comprehension of one's internal experience and, over time, facilitate the development of greater emotional regulation.

4. Seeking assistance from friends and family is an effective strategy for managing emotions. These individuals can provide valuable perspectives and suggestions, facilitating a more nuanced understanding of the situation.

Additionally, their presence and assistance will contribute to an enhanced sense of warmth and ease.

5. Learn to decline requests: At times, individuals accept tasks they would prefer to avoid due to a fear of rejecting others. However, this often results in feelings of fatigue and discontent.

In such instances, it is advisable to adopt a courageous stance and decline the request. This approach not only allows for the allocation of additional time and energy to pursue desired activities but also fosters a sense of confidence and determination.

In conclusion, it is important to note that emotional management is a process that requires time and patience to practice. It is crucial not to rush for immediate results and to persevere through temporary setbacks.

Provided one is willing to put in the requisite effort, one can gradually master this skill and become more composed and calm. I am confident that you can do so.

I encourage you to persevere.

Hello, question asker!

It makes you feel bad because you have affected other people. But you can choose to keep dwelling on it and get caught up in these emotions, or you can choose to let it go and move on!

You are a very sensitive person, and that's a wonderful thing! When you feel guilty because of other people's feedback, it also shows from another perspective that you are a very kind person, because you feel guilty for hurting others.

Guess what! Unkind people are not guilty and they don't care about other people's feelings.

This bothers you, but it also helps you better understand other people's emotions, whether they are happy, and how the other person feels in the relationship.

And what's really exciting is that you're experiencing emotion about emotion!

Because of your own guilt, you regret it because of your guilt. You get caught up in a constant negative mood. But guess what? You can change that!

In fact, other people may just be having a meal, and if the food at that restaurant isn't good, no worries! It could be that the dishes don't suit their tastes, or the chef may have changed. It could also be said that you've helped everyone avoid a bad restaurant, so just don't go there again.

Relax! You're not perfect, and you can't please everyone.

Guess what? Your guilt and sadness come from the fact that you feel you haven't done your best. This implies your own demand for perfection. This is actually narcissism. But this will put a lot of pressure on yourself.

We absolutely can and should accept that we are not perfect. We also make mistakes, but that's totally okay!

The great news is that we have the opportunity to make amends if we make a mistake. And if we don't, we get to learn to forgive ourselves!

Best of luck!

You are a kind and emotionally sensitive person with an unusually strong sense of action in life that may cause others unpleasantness. This is a double-edged sword, but you can choose which edge you want to embrace! If you can be strong inside, you will be able to quickly see a person in the process of getting along with others. On the contrary, if you are weak inside, you will hurt yourself even more, because you will be able to feel negative emotions more than others and bear them all by yourself. But you can choose to embrace your sensitivity and use it to your advantage!

From what you said, it seems like you're constantly thinking about how your mistakes have made others feel. It's totally normal to feel bad about not meeting expectations. But here's the thing: you can't please everyone all the time. So, why not focus on doing your best and not worry about what others think?

And then start a series of self-negations?

First, it's really important to understand what kind of person your friend is and what kind of mood she was in when she said it.

Maybe she just didn't like the food, and it was the restaurant's problem. She wasn't blaming you, and she wasn't even blaming anyone! She was just expressing her feelings that the food was bad. If she's a laid-back person, she probably wouldn't expect you to be bothered by it.

Second, here's the good news! Most restaurants out there are just not very good. This is an objective fact. So if you choose a restaurant that is not very good, it is normal, and it can be said that the probability is high. And everyone's tastes are different. What you like to eat is different from what she likes to eat. It is normal for you to think it is delicious and for her to think it is not. But that just means there's room for improvement!

At last, don't blame yourself for the bad effects of an event. Instead, think about why someone else said it and what caused the event. As I said before, if your friend is just being carefree and saying such things, they definitely don't mean it maliciously. You don't have to feel guilty either! Life is full of surprises, and there are always good and bad things about an accident. If you were lucky that day and went to a super delicious restaurant, what would you think? You would probably feel happy, and it would be forgotten after a night at most. So you see?

It's time to move on from those negative emotions! Everything in life has a cycle. The good times will eventually pass, and the bad times will too. You've been focusing on the good times for a shorter period of time than the bad times, so it's no surprise you feel confused from time to time.

Hello, question asker! I can see you're confused and struggling.

Many people experience the situation you described, especially in terms of relationships and emotions. Here are some suggestions to help you cope with these problems:

Understand your emotions.

First, you need to understand why you feel so uneasy about other people's feedback or comments. This is likely because of your sense of self-worth, your pursuit of perfection, or your excessive concern about what other people think.

Knowing where your emotions come from is the first step to managing them.

2. Cultivate self-acceptance.

You are imperfect and you make mistakes. That's okay. Everyone does.

You are not a failure or worthless. Accept yourself and don't let others' opinions deny you.

3. Emotion management:

Learn some emotional management techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or journaling to record your feelings. These methods will help you calm down when you're emotional or find an outlet for your emotions.

4. Set boundaries.

Set personal boundaries when interacting with others. Don't allow other people's emotions or feedback to control your emotions.

You must learn to say "no" or defend yourself to protect your emotions and interests.

5. Distract yourself.

Distract yourself when you find yourself caught up in overthinking or dwelling. Do something you enjoy, or focus on your work, studies, or other hobbies.

This will help you temporarily escape negative emotions.

Seek support.

Share your feelings with close friends, family members, or professionals. They can provide the support, understanding, and advice you need to better deal with emotional problems.

7. Accept the past.

You must accept past emotional experiences as facts of the past. Don't try to change the past; learn from it and grow from it.

Focus on the present and the future, not the past.

8. Develop a positive mindset.

Look at things from a positive perspective and focus on the good and positive aspects of your life. This will help you reduce negative emotions and cultivate a healthier mindset.

9. Get psychological counseling.

If you're struggling to overcome negative emotions and thoughts, or they're starting to impact your daily life and work, it's time to seek professional psychological counseling. A counselor can help you gain deeper insight into your issues and offer more effective solutions.

You must be patient when dealing with emotional problems. Don't be too demanding on yourself. Give yourself time and space to grow and change.

I am a listening therapist, Deng Hong, and I am here to help. Every voice in your heart is worth listening to.

Chat with me if you want to.

Hello! It's amazing how our feelings and opinions can be affected by others. Even memories of past experiences can affect our mood. It's so interesting to explore how we can avoid being bothered by these things.

Your ability to reflect and think is so impressive! And the fact that you're seeking help shows that you're open to change.

Let's dive in and talk about the reasons why other people's feelings affect us. The essence of it is nothing more than caring about what other people think of us. Caring about your image in other people's minds is a great way to motivate yourself to improve, and it is also a manifestation of narcissism.

Narcissism is one of the necessary conditions for our survival and development. Excessive narcissism or excessive concern about other people's opinions will trap us in a certain mood and affect our development.

Think about it! How long can we keep the good or bad deeds of the people we meet in our lives in our hearts? If someone feels that you care about their image in particular, do you feel that way about them in return?

How long will you care?

And guess what? We are the same from the perspective of others. They don't have a lot of experience, and they don't let other people's affairs take up their memory space. Maybe they feel that they are the most important.

The way we think others see us is just our perception of our own importance—and it's a great one!

Let me use your analogy to illustrate this point. If someone invites you to dinner and you don't think it's very tasty, how long will you remember that it wasn't very tasty? Absolutely not! You'll remember so much more than that.

Or will you remember the motive, meaning, or respect of the host? When you think of the meal years later, will you remember what you ate or who the host was?

Guess what! We're not the only ones who feel emotionally troubled. In fact, everyone has been troubled by it to a greater or lesser extent. And here's the best part: every experience has its meaning! We can learn a lot from it and grow from it.

Recollections of past events may be a subconscious reminder to us not to forget. So why the reminder?

Maybe that's exactly why!

Disturbances often arise from conflicts. This is an opportunity for growth! The subconscious mind sends out uncontrolled memories, while the conscious mind believes that they should not be remembered. These two concepts conflict with each other, which means there's room for improvement. The uncontrolled thoughts and the feeling that one should not think about them trigger a conflict and cause disturbances.

Every past experience is valuable! We should accept past experiences and acknowledge what we have gained from them. Rather than criticizing the past, we should accept it and move on. When we do this, the conscious and unconscious minds will be integrated, and any conflicts will disappear!

I highly recommend that you find a counselor who can help you see the past in a new light and say a formal goodbye to it. You may be surprised at what you discover!

Simple analysis is subjective and one-sided, but I'm excited to see what insights I can gain from it!

At Yi Psychology, I love you! The world and I love you! ??

Hello, I'm Yu, a mindfulness coach, and I'm going to discuss this topic with you.

Let's start with emotions. Emotions are made up of three things: unique subjective experiences, external manifestations, and physiological arousal. Each emotion is an unmet internal demand. We feel sad when we miss the opportunity for promotion and a pay rise. We feel angry when we lose something we've treasured for many years.

We tend to focus on the more outwardly expressed and easily identifiable emotions, such as anger, pain, and self-harm. However, we often overlook the hidden emotions, such as guilt, self-blame, and shame.

These emotions are often deeply suppressed in the depths of people's hearts, making it difficult for them to express them in words and gain understanding from others.

These emotions are suppressed in the subconscious mind, and the cells of the body remember this feeling. When encountering a similar situation, this bodily memory is activated, and the whole body feels tense and the breathing quickens.

This is called a "complex" in psychology, or an emotional button. As the questioner wrote, one's mood is affected by someone else's words, and one becomes very entangled in emotional matters and troubled by emotional experiences.

Ask yourself: What about your inner self makes you feel so uncomfortable when you think about emotional experiences? What about your inner self makes you feel so uncomfortable when you feel blocked?

Ask yourself: if the difficult mood at the moment could speak, how would it express itself to you?

However, awareness is the first step to change. We can reconcile with our emotions. When negative emotions arise, we can watch them without judging. We can allow the emotions to come and go freely like clouds and drift away slowly like fallen leaves in the water. We can also use writing as a healing tool. We can write and draw out our current feelings, allowing the emotions to find an outlet and release.

Use an empty chair to create a safe situation through role-playing and self-dialogue. Connect past events with your current state of mind and consciously integrate your chaotic thoughts to release your negative emotions.

We can also learn to distract ourselves, especially from overthinking. When bad images come to mind, we can and should shout "stop" at ourselves and say to ourselves "these are just my thoughts, I'm fine now." We can pay attention to our breathing, open our senses, and fill the gaps in our attention. Then we can listen to music, do stretching exercises, etc., to distract ourselves. Meditation and mindfulness are also very good ways to relax.

We allow ourselves to ruminate occasionally, to slowly accept and slowly say goodbye. You must respect the rhythm of your own emotions.

Let's talk about acceptance. Everyone is imperfect, and everyone has a dark side they don't want to face. People around us are unwilling to accept it, and even we ourselves can't face it. So we put on a mask and disguise ourselves as a character that others like, but we are tired of living like this.

As the original poster describes, when you invite someone to dinner and they tell you that the food was not very good, you feel bad about it and spend days agonizing over it, feeling guilty and regretting taking them to that restaurant. This is a waste of your time. Such pressure not only fails to make you relax, but also exacerbates your anxiety.

Ask yourself: When others give you negative feedback, what do you think? What emotions and feelings does it bring out in you?

We can also recall our childhood, when you first started to toddle or hold chopsticks to eat, because of your mother's worries and anxieties and fear of bad consequences, were you interrupted and stopped countless times by your mother? Over time, we will judge ourselves about things we don't know, that is, "I can't do it well." At this time, our sense of self-efficacy gradually becomes a problem, so that we become vulnerable as adults, and we will care a lot about other people's opinions and feelings. This is based on a low self-evaluation, or our inner strength is not strong enough, so we will blame ourselves for our inadequacies or shortcomings.

We can also ask ourselves, "What is the ideal self? What is the gap between me and that person?"

I will achieve this.

When we accept ourselves, we unload our heavy burdens, release our tight inner hearts, stop demanding things from others, and stop being harsh with ourselves. We gain an objective and comprehensive understanding of ourselves, and we are not affected by external voices and evaluations. We face problems and difficulties with equanimity.

You can ask for help because if this thing bothers you, you need support to overcome it. Find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor because you need to see and accept the shadow in your heart before the habitual negative thoughts slowly disappear.

We must tell ourselves that we have grown up, that we have the strength and ability to protect ourselves, that we can affirm and meet our own needs, that we can express and communicate our thoughts, and that we can accept and appreciate our imperfect selves. Other people's comments are just minor incidents, and sometimes they are also a projection of their own inner selves. Look inward, embrace your inner child, and become your own inner parent. When your core is stable, you can show yourself with confidence.

Read this book: "The Body Never Forgets."