What if you break up with your high school roommates, seniors, organization leaders, and "best friends"?

Hello, host. I am honored to answer your question. As stated in the information, you are on good terms with him, from a personal relationship perspective, as well as a roommate, schoolmate, and organizational superior. It seems that you did not consult the relevant work processes, thinking that if you applied, you would be able to take over.

You typically speak in a humble and cautious manner, which may give the impression that you are reluctant to take over. The other person explained that the part where other people ran for the position might just be a formality, but it turned out that someone was really competing with you, and the result was not quite satisfactory. This led to a misunderstanding with your friend.

You would like to apologize, but it seems the other person is not receptive to it.

From your description, I can sense that you are feeling a bit down and regretful. It was supposed to be an opportunity, but unfortunately, a misunderstanding in communication led to a significant rift.

While you and your friend are very close and have multiple relationships, you may not know him as well as you think. He may be in one state in life and another at work, which is why when you were preparing to compete for a position, there was another person competing against you.

I hope that in this competition, your friend will be on your side and ensure that you win. What your friend is offering you is just a chance to compete fairly.

While there are many unspoken rules of social injustice in today's society, there is still a great deal of fair competition. Good interpersonal relationships are certainly a plus, but at the end of the day, it is still up to your abilities to get the job done. Any leader needs to be responsible for the results of their work. As long as the results are not a problem, interpersonal relationships can be considered.

You believe your friend's decision was appropriate, both in regard to the work situation and in terms of your personal relationship.

Regarding the repair of your relationship, I believe it is important to take your time and not rush things. Given that this friend knows you well, his reaction is likely more disappointment than disgust. A get-together at work or a gathering of friends is a wonderful way to show your approval and respect for the other person. There is no need to mention this matter deliberately.

I am optimistic that the relationship will gradually improve. I am grateful to be in a relationship. I love the world and I love you.

I wonder if I might ask for your help with this.

After reading this, I can really understand how you feel. Your habitual modesty and the other person's lack of understanding have caused the current situation. You want to make up with the other person, but they won't give you the chance, leaving you at a loss. Don't worry, these things happen in life, and you'll get through this!

You have a multi-layered, deep relationship with your closest friends. You are compatible with each other and should be able to have fun together, and you are more likely to think of and care for each other. However, you lack information about each other's real needs, and you both do what you think is right without knowing each other's true intentions—which means there's so much room for growth and discovery!

For example, you thought that by signing up, you were taking over, that you wanted to take over, and that because of your relationship, you should take over. Your modesty is just an expression of your personality, but it made the other person mistakenly believe that you were forcing yourself to do something you didn't want to do for her.

She thought there was an election process. If you can choose a suitable one, this will solve your reluctance. From an objective point of view, you are both right! But there's room for improvement in terms of communication. The mistake lies in the poor reception of information combined with self-righteousness, and a failure to directly confront the other person's inner thoughts.

From this perspective, even for people in a close relationship, the more they think about the other person and the more willing they are to take responsibility, the more likely there is to be a miscommunication. The person who "thinks they are" walking at their own pace is likely to ignore the feelings and needs of others. So what you can do now is give her some time and space to calm down. You can express your thoughts and actions in writing, explain the reasons for your anger, and express how much you value this relationship. After all, when someone is angry, it may not be easy for them to listen.

So, you can tell her in a letter while giving her some time to calm down, and then wait for her to get back to you and communicate well.

Even two people in an intimate relationship sometimes have to take the plunge and express their true thoughts. It is impossible for each other to understand each other's thoughts clearly, but that's okay! This incident has made you realize that you've been thinking you know it all. It is both a bad thing and a good thing. While being humble, you must also take the leap and express your inner thoughts, and also listen to and understand the other person's thoughts and feelings. Only through honest communication can you get along better and have a better relationship!

Once you've done what you need to do, the rest will fall into place! Strong relationships may end for various reasons, but this is a normal part of life that everyone goes through. Each relationship is unique and brings us different experiences and growth. So, no matter the outcome, we should manage and maintain each relationship with care. At the same time, we must learn to accept and face the fact of parting.

No matter what the reason is when a relationship comes to an end, embrace it with an open mind, let go of the past, and look forward to all the amazing things that are waiting for you in life!

I really hope these insights help you! Anyway, I really hope you get better and better!

Hello, I'm Li Di. Thanks for talking to me.

It must have been frustrating to argue with someone you like over work. Give yourself a hug. Now we need to think about what to do.

First, you assumed I'd take over because you thought I was the only one who'd signed up. Was this because you have a good relationship with your senior? Now calm down. Do you have any new ideas?

Second, she thought I was reluctant to take over because I express myself modestly. Is this how you usually communicate? When did you realize she misunderstood?

Why don't you say what you want?

☞ Third, your senior sister has persuaded others to run in the election, and as a result, someone is competing with you. This seems to hurt you. Then, does she need to confirm that she can complete this task, or is she taking care of your feelings when she feels that you are reluctant? There is no right or wrong between you.

The above discussion is just another perspective. If anything makes you uncomfortable, ignore it. These are just assumptions.

Let's look at the reasons behind your feelings and needs together so you can understand and accept yourself better.

The situation you describe is complex. You have strong feelings for this senior, and you also have other roles.

Your multiple relationships may cause problems. You may misunderstand each other.

You said, "I thought I was the only one who signed up, so I'll take over." This shows you had the wrong idea. In psychology, this is called the "expectancy effect." You formed an expectation based on your own thoughts and experiences. You didn't think about what others thought.

You may be too confident in your understanding and judgment without enough communication. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts because it ignores others' views and wishes.

Also, your habit of humble speech may have made it unclear what you meant. This is a common problem in communication. It's called "nonverbal communication" because our words and actions don't always match our true intentions.

Your modesty may be seen as a lack of enthusiasm or ability, which leads the senior student to take different actions.

If you're afraid of losing status or hurting the relationship, it's normal to react strongly. But arguing can make things worse.

You want to apologize, which is a good first step. But she may still be upset and not want to talk right now. In this case, you can try the following steps:

Think about why you did what you did, including what you were thinking and how you spoke to her.

- A sincere apology: Explain your mistake and how you'll fix it.

- Try different ways to apologize. If you can't meet in person, write a letter or email.

- Improve your communication skills. Attend seminars or read books so you can handle similar social situations better in the future.

Be patient. Repairing relationships takes time. Give her time and space, and give yourself time to grow.

We all misunderstand each other sometimes. The key is to learn from it and move on. We hope these tips help you understand the situation and take action.

If you need more support, a counselor can help. They can guide you through complex relationships.

I hope this helps. Love,

Greetings, question asker. I am Jiang 61.

Firstly, I would like to express my gratitude for placing your trust in us and disclosing your confusion, which will enable us to assist you in finding a solution. The issue you have raised is as follows: "What course of action should I take if I have terminated my relationship with my high school roommate, my superior at work, and my closest friend?" From your preliminary account, it is evident that you are encountering challenges in both your professional and personal life. I am therefore willing to engage in a discussion on this matter.

1. Introduction

1. Relationships

You stated that you have numerous interpersonal relationships, including close friendships with her, high school roommates, seniors, and colleagues.

The relationship between you and your senior is complicated. This has also complicated the way you interact with her and the distance between you.

Secondly, there was a conflict.

You stated, "I did not inquire about the workflow procedures because I assumed that, as the sole applicant, I would be selected for the position. Additionally, due to my tendency to express myself in a humble manner, she incorrectly perceived my reluctance to assume the role. She engaged in the process of persuading other individuals to run for the election, which ultimately resulted in the emergence of a competitor. Following this, I experienced a surge of anger, leading to a significant conflict with her. Currently, I am eager to express my sincere apologies, yet she has not acknowledged my attempts at reconciliation."

Promotion Opportunities

A new promotion opportunity at work presents itself, offering the chance to assume the previous role. The assumption is made that, provided an application is submitted, the opportunity will be secured. The competitive process is not considered.

Competition

The source of the conflict was the senior's persuasion of others to compete for promotion, which was perceived as contrary to the questioner's ideas. This led to a significant disagreement with a friend, and subsequently, the questioner expressed regret and a desire to reconcile with the senior. However, the latter has not reciprocated and has chosen to ignore the questioner.

2. The rationale behind the dispute

1. Relationship issues

The subject of relationships is a multifaceted one, encompassing a vast array of nuances and complexities.

The term "relationship" can be understood in two distinct ways: as a state of interaction and mutual influence between things, or as a direct psychological relationship or psychological distance between people during activities. This topic focuses on the latter interpretation, which pertains to the dynamics between individuals.

The issue of relationships

The questioner indicated that there are multiple relationships between herself and her senior, including those of a friendship, classmate, and colleague nature. Consequently, when addressing relationship-related matters, individuals may experience confusion.

In other words, the two parties in question confused their friendship with their colleague relationship, failed to comprehend their superior's approach, and evaluated the situation from the vantage point of a professional relationship. This ultimately culminated in a dispute between the aforementioned individuals.

2. Workplace issues

The term "workplace needs" is used to describe the conditions that are necessary for an individual or organization to survive, develop, and succeed in the workplace. These needs can be classified into several categories, including personal development, organizational development, social needs, and career development. In terms of personal development, workplace needs may include career goals, skill development, and job satisfaction. In the context of organizational development, these needs may relate to issues such as performance achievement, corporate culture construction and development, and talent retention. Social needs, on the other hand, may pertain to social responsibility and teamwork requirements. Career development needs, in turn, may involve job promotion, income growth, and career development paths.

The term "workplace needs" is used to describe the conditions that individuals or organizations require in order to survive, develop, and succeed in their professional environment. From a personal development perspective, this encompasses career goals, skill development, and job satisfaction. From an organizational development standpoint, it includes aspects such as performance achievement, corporate culture construction and development, and talent retention. Additionally, social needs, such as social responsibility and teamwork requirements, are also considered. Career development needs, in turn, involve factors such as job promotion, income growth, and career development paths.

Issues pertaining to the workplace

It is inevitable that individuals in the workplace will encounter situations where their personal needs and the needs of the organization intersect. As a leader, it is essential to prioritize the team's development and select individuals who can contribute to that growth.

It seems likely that the questioner's senior sister made the decision to allow him to compete for promotion after considering the team's development, his personal abilities, and his workplace performance.

In regard to the matter of workplace needs, it seems that the questioner was initially unaware of the situation. This led to a misunderstanding between the junior and senior colleagues, resulting in a heated exchange.

What is the appropriate course of action?

The first course of action is to issue a sincere apology.

It would be advisable to offer an apology.

The act of apologizing is a social etiquette and behavioral norm that is employed to acknowledge missteps, whether they be verbal or physical, and to convey remorse and atonement to the affected individual. Through the use of etiquette or actions, the objective is to seek understanding and forgiveness from the other party.

It is imperative to express sincerity.

It seems reasonable to posit that the questioner should have already offered an apology to the senior sister for his inappropriate remarks, whether via WeChat or otherwise. However, the senior sister has not yet forgiven him and has thus far refused to engage in further communication.

In point of fact, sufficient action has already been taken to achieve this outcome. The remaining option is to wait and allow time to resolve the matter.

Secondly, it is important to cooperate with others.

Verbal apologies are insufficient; one must also demonstrate sincerity through active cooperation and a willingness to avoid hindering the work of others. This allows the offended party to perceive that the apologizing party understands and supports the offended party's actions.

Three. Other Methods

One potential solution is to entrust a mutual friend.

If the objective is to salvage the friendship, it would be advisable to identify a mutual friend who is well-acquainted with both parties and utilize this individual as an intermediary to convey one's sentiments, ascertain her perspective, and foster a stronger emotional bond between them.

The third method is to select an appropriate time and location to convey one's desire to apologize, seek understanding, and resolve past issues.

Fourthly, it is important to maintain consistency in one's expressions.

The term "consistent communication" is defined as the act of communicating in a manner that is in alignment with one's inner feelings and the external circumstances at hand.

Consistent communication entails that verbal and non-verbal information conveyed to another individual is aligned with one's internal emotional state. In consistent communication, the self, the other person, and the situation are all accorded due attention and respect.

This model of human speech demonstrates an inner awareness, with facial expressions and speech in alignment, inner harmony and balance, and a relatively high sense of self-worth.

The following sentence patterns are commonly used in consistent communication exercises and expressions. After a long period of time, one can truly communicate in a consistent manner.

The following sentence patterns are commonly used in consistent communication exercises and expressions. After a considerable length of time, individuals can truly communicate in a consistent manner. The specific sentence patterns are as follows:

In instances where...

The objective situation should be described in a neutral manner, without the use of accusatory language or emotional expressions.

It is important to be able to articulate one's feelings in a clear and concise manner.

It is essential to articulate one's feelings and emotions in a clear and concise manner, without any ambiguity or emotional reservation.

It is my hope that...

It is essential to explicitly convey one's expectations of the other party, delineate one's requirements, and establish these expectations as quantifiable, executable, and visible.

It is my contention that…

It would be beneficial to describe your expectations for the future.

When communication is consistent and aligned with feelings, actions, and words, and the information received by the other party is consistent with these elements, misunderstandings are reduced. This allows the other party to understand the actions of the communicator from that communicator's perspective and to forgive the communicator.

It is important to note that relationships can be easily damaged and require significant time and effort to repair. Based on the information provided, it seems that your senior sister, who has reached her current position, is a person of great breadth of character. Therefore, it is likely that she will lower her stance and reconcile with you after you have made repeated sincere requests for reconciliation.

One must simply allow time to take its course.

Ultimately, it is my sincere hope that the original poster will experience a positive shift in emotional state.

Hello, question asker! I'm Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Lu, your Heart Detective coach.

It's clear that this person is very important to the questioner. After all, a relationship that has lasted for many years should not fall apart completely after just one fight! So, what communication took place that particularly hurt feelings and pride, causing the questioner and friend to grow apart in the relationship?

Oh boy, what a situation! When did the questioner have a big fight with the other person? Did they say anything particularly hurtful?

Let's dive into the nitty-gritty! When did the questioner apologize? And most importantly, did they do it in a way that made the other person feel truly heard and seen?

Absolutely! Being aware of the details of the communication between you is a great way to help the questioner find a way to resolve the problem.

Oh, the possibilities are endless! Is the senior a person who is easygoing and unconcerned with details, or is she someone who is less forgiving?

Absolutely! Organize your apology according to the characteristics of the other person, and it will be more likely to succeed.

Oh, the possibilities! Did the questioner have a big fight because he lost the competition? Or was it because he felt that his schoolmate didn't understand him?

In general, the capable person wins! But here's an interesting question: does the other person feel resentful when they win? Understanding the source of your emotions may help the questioner reveal their true feelings more honestly.

The choice to apologize is up to the questioner, while the decision to forgive is up to the other person. Not every apology will be met with an "it's okay," but that's okay! The question asker can do their best, accept what happens, and respect the other person's right to choose.

The other person will also have emotional periods. This is totally normal! Try to allow the other person to calm down a bit before apologizing, and apologize for the specific harm you have caused the other person. This may help the other person understand the source of the questioner's emotions.

Some people will accompany us for a while, while others will accompany us for a lifetime. Allowing fate to bring us together and part us may make the questioner feel less conflicted—and it just might be the best thing that could happen!

Some say that words are short but feelings are long, and I think that's so true! The questioner may have chosen to write a letter or other written expression when the other person was unwilling to calm down and listen to the questioner's apology. That must have been a really moving experience for the older sister to understand the sincerity of the questioner better!

Thank your older sister for being in your life and making it richer! Let her know that you value this friendship, but you're also ready to take responsibility for your own issues and respect her decision not to forgive.

I highly recommend reading "Between People" and "Accepting Imperfection"!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, I'm Qu Huidong, a psychological counselor who can help you understand your emotions better.

The questioner and his friend had a big fight and now they've broken up. You want to make peace, but she won't give you a chance. Doesn't this sound like the situation you described earlier, where you "thought that only I had signed up, so I would take over"? When we "think," we go at our own pace, and it's easy to ignore the feelings and needs of others.

So, the best thing we can do now is give her some time and space to calm down. After all, when people are angry, they may not be able to listen to others.

Give her some time to calm down, then find a chance to talk to her properly.

Before that, you can send her a message saying, "I'm really sorry that I was so impulsive and lost my temper without understanding the situation clearly. I'm sorry if my words made you feel that I don't respect you, but I do value our relationship and hope that we can have a chance to start again.

If you're up for it, I'd love to chat with you. You decide when.

No matter how close two people are, they can never know each other's thoughts perfectly. This encounter has made you suffer from "self-deception." It's a bad thing, but also a good thing. We need to let go of our preconceptions and prejudices, listen to and understand the other person's thoughts and feelings. Honest communication is the key to getting along better with others and building stronger and closer relationships.

Furthermore, even the strongest relationships can end. This is a normal part of life and the process of growing and learning. However, every relationship is also unique, as they bring us different experiences and growth.

So, regardless of what happens, we should manage and maintain each relationship with all our hearts, so that they become valuable assets in our life journey. At the same time, we must also learn to accept and face the fact of parting.

When a relationship ends, it's important to face it with an open mind and try to move on from the past. There are still so many other great things and opportunities in life to discover and enjoy.

Best,

Good morning, my name is Coach Yu, and I would like to discuss this topic with you.

Let us begin by discussing relationships. Each individual's inner world can be considered a stage, with the individual occupying the "leading role." Other people and things are present on the stage in supporting roles. Our emotions, desires, and logic are invested in these roles, creating a fictional script for the story.

When we interact with people and situations in the real world, we subconsciously apply our internal scripts to interpret external relationships. Those individuals in our lives who we care about will also be influenced by our actions, creating a dynamic that shapes our inner and outer experiences. Our perspective on relationships is therefore a matter of personal choice.

As the questioner stated, there are multiple interpersonal relationships, and she is a close associate. I did not inquire about the workflow, and as a result...

The reason for the questioner's anger and subsequent conflict with her colleague may be due to a sense of entitlement, coupled with a belief that her contributions were merely modest. These sentiments may have led to a preconceived narrative about the roles and relationships within the organization. In this context, the individual in question, whether a former roommate, superior, colleague, romantic interest, or otherwise, represents a supporting character in the inner drama of the questioner's psyche. Emotions within this inner world inform the construction of imagined relationships in the external world.

Consequently, when we become more aware of our relationships with others, we will realize that the essence of human relationships is about discovering ourselves and becoming more self-aware.

We can inquire of ourselves what it is that we desire when we do not inquire of her regarding the workflow. What is it that we desire when we express our gratitude to her with humble words?

Additionally, we may inquire as to what aspects of ourselves contribute to feelings of anger or conflict following an election.

Additionally, we may inquire as to the optimal interpersonal relationship and the ideal self.

What are my actual requirements? What can I do to fulfill them?

When we are clear about our needs, it allows us to view interpersonal relationships in a more constructive light.

It is important to recognize that making mistakes is a natural part of the growth process. If we are not allowed to make mistakes, or if we are discouraged from doing so, it can have a negative impact on our physical and mental well-being.

It is preferable to rectify a mistake at a later stage than an earlier one. Early mistakes often have minimal consequences and can be addressed and corrected promptly, enabling a collaborative approach to addressing and resolving them. Additionally, the experience and lessons learned can be immediately applied.

As the original poster stated, it would be advisable to offer an apology at this time.

It is beneficial to take a moment to reflect on the emotions that arise after an angry argument.

Additionally, we can consider how the senior would evaluate our actions from their perspective.

Additionally, we can consider what we would say if we had the opportunity to apologize to the senior in person.

However, awareness is the first step in effecting change. It is important to recognize that mistakes can be rectified in a timely manner after they have occurred. While it is not inherently problematic to make a mistake once, it is problematic to continue making mistakes without recognizing them as such.

It is possible to open our hearts and minds, avoid deliberate avoidance, and adopt a positive attitude. We should attempt to communicate with her. If a face-to-face meeting is not desired, a phone conversation or voice message can be arranged. The first step is to express sincere apologies and listen to her thoughts. This will help to resolve the situation.

Finally, it is important to love yourself. It is evident that negative emotions can impact one's life. However, the questioner was able to identify these emotions in a timely manner and possesses well-defined values. Therefore, it is essential to prioritize self-care, ensuring that both our physical and emotional well-being is nurtured.

It is also possible to seek assistance. Given the nature of the issue, it is understandable that it may be challenging to resolve immediately. It may be helpful to identify a family member or friend who can provide positive support and a listening ear. Alternatively, if necessary, it is possible to engage the services of a counselor. This can be beneficial in allowing individuals to process their emotions and overcome obstacles.

Additionally, we can endeavor to enhance our inner selves and ascertain our distinctive value. When your core is robust, those around you will feel at ease in your presence and be inclined to communicate with you. Concurrently, you can dedicate yourself to your work with greater assurance and demonstrate self-assurance.