What if you fantasize about ending your life so that you can see your loved one again after she has passed away?

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, I can see how much you miss your grandmother, and I admire your filial piety towards your parents. I'm also aware of the mental disability that prevented you from seeing your grandmother for the last time. I'm here for you if you need anything.

I know you're feeling sad and vulnerable because of the pressure. It's normal to have some negative thoughts about Grandma when you're feeling this way. Everyone has some negative emotions when they're stressed and uncomfortable. I'm here to support you in finding a bright path to guide you. Maybe Grandma's spirit in heaven is protecting you. I hope you'll go on bravely.

As you mentioned, you still have your loving parents. Even though Grandma isn't with you anymore, she'll always be with you in spirit. No one can replace her, but her love will always be there to help you get through this tough time.

So don't blame yourself. Grandma will feel sad if she sees it. What you need to do is face this uncomfortable feeling and this pressure head-on. Only in this way can you get out of it and continue to receive Grandma's love. Only in this way can this family become even warmer. What do you think?

I don't know if I can offer any guarantees, but I do know that making sudden changes can help you to heal and relieve the pressure. I believe in you, so please believe in yourself. You will find a way through this. I have to admit that I feel like I've achieved nothing so far, but I haven't given up either, so don't give up. Let's struggle together and work hard together, and we will find a way through this.

I'd suggest you speak to your parents about what's going on.

The best way to deal with this kind of pressure is to communicate well with your parents so that they understand you and can be there for you. This will help relieve the pressure and ensure you continue to feel your parents' love and support.

Then, have your parents take you to see a counselor.

I think you've come here with a glimmer of hope, and you even understand that psychological counseling is only for normal people, right? So, ask your parents to take you to see a counselor. Let the counselor use their professional skills to help you soothe your inner sadness. They can even use hypnosis to help you say goodbye to your grandmother properly. Then, with their help, you will slowly gain the strength to solve this problem yourself.

Finally, believe in yourself. We all have the ability to solve our own problems. When you realize you have this thought and speak up, you're actually helping yourself. I've been through this before, and this is one way for us to save ourselves. So don't be afraid, just don't give up, and believe that you will be able to find a breakthrough. We all have unlimited potential. As long as we believe in something, we will be able to do it.

Ultimately, I still want to tell you, dear, don't be afraid, it's okay. In today's world, stress is not just a problem for students, but also for adults. It's okay. We just need to face it bravely. When you really face it, you'll find that it's not that scary. If you're ever feeling down, you can always come to this platform. My friends and I on this platform will always be with you, never fear.

Remember to face it head on and with courage. It might be tough at first, but practice makes perfect. With time, we can all become the masters of our own destiny.

Dear Question Asker, Thank you for your inquiry. Best regards, Sunny Dolphin Floater Psychological Counselor

My name is Sunny Dolphin Floater, and I am a licensed psychological counselor.

1. Following the death of my grandmother, my father and uncle were diagnosed with heart problems due to the emotional stress they were under.

I offer my condolences and perceive in your question a kind and gentle individual who has demonstrated resilience in supporting the family and fostering a loving environment. Is this an accurate assessment?

It is worth considering whether the heart problems experienced by your father and uncle are the result of excessive grief, and whether this is the outcome that your kind grandmother would have wanted to see. It is also important to reflect on how she would have felt if she were still alive.

Please provide the age of your grandmother at the time of her passing. The natural phenomena of birth, aging, sickness, and death are to be expected. In this case, the sudden passing of your grandmother has caused you to experience difficulty in accepting the situation.

Or is it that you regret most not having the opportunity to see your grandmother one last time?

It is important to note that such regrets can be addressed from a place of emotional healing. It is understandable that you miss your grandmother, but it is essential to recognize that she is no longer with us. You and your father, uncle, and other blood relatives still have to live. How will your other relatives cope if you are constantly consumed by grief? Would your mother and father's wife be pleased to see you grieving in this manner?

If Grandma were aware that her passing had resulted in your current state of distress, would she have chosen to leave this world peacefully? As the old saying goes, if you are unable to let go of your deceased loved ones, it is also very painful for them. They cannot live happily in heaven. Is that what you want?

Please be aware that:

2. I spent approximately two-thirds of every evening in the middle of every month crying bitterly, remembering the bits and pieces of my time with my grandmother. Of course, I also felt a little relieved psychologically, because I was at school at the time and the school was closed due to the epidemic. I didn't get to see my grandmother's last face, and I always feel a sense of loss.

?‍♂️Patting your shoulder for comfort, it has been almost nine months since the passing of your grandmother. You are still experiencing a significant level of sadness. You have allowed yourself to move on, but you regret not having the opportunity to see your grandmother one last time and to properly say goodbye to her. Is this correct?

Do you wish to bid farewell to your grandmother? If so, there is an opportunity to do so. It is nearly the Chinese New Year, a time when families pay tribute to their ancestors. You can go together and say goodbye to your grandmother properly. Do you believe that would be a beneficial course of action?

It has been some time since you began grieving. If you do not experience any physical discomfort, you may wish to consider ways of improving your mood. Should you feel any physical discomfort, it is advisable to seek medical attention as soon as possible.

You may also purchase paper money in the morning, visit your grandmother privately, and compensate for the absence of ritual. Your grandmother loved you deeply and would not want to see you this way. For the sake of your grandmother's peace, it is essential that you are happy.

Please continue.

3. I have been experiencing self-defeating thoughts and have been having dreams of jumping off buildings. I am concerned that I may be suffering from depression or another related psychological issue.

You have an upcoming examination, and you are feeling considerable pressure. Does recalling your grandmother, who would have provided much-needed support at this time, offer you any benefit? You have always been aware that your grandmother has passed away; you have simply not yet faced the reality of this situation.

From your description, it is evident that your grandmother was a kind and loving individual who was well-liked by all. If you are experiencing difficulties because you miss your grandmother, what impact will this have on your current family? Is this what your grandmother would have wanted to see?

?‍♂️Grandma was so kind that she can only rest in peace when she sees you doing well in heaven. If you are unable to let go of Grandma, then Grandma is unable to let go of you either. The greatest benefit for you and Grandma is for you to let go and for Grandma to rest in peace. Are you going to let go of Grandma?

If you wish to see your grandmother, I advise you to get some rest. The same applies if you hope to see her in your dreams. Rather than spending your evenings feeling sad because you cannot let go of your grandmother, I suggest you make the most of every day and say goodbye to her in your dreams.

From the content of your dream, it appears that your grandmother is not at peace. When a close relative dies, they often leave a trace of their thoughts to protect their loved ones. Your dream indicates that your grandmother feels your state of mind is as exaggerated as jumping off a building, but she is unable to intervene. It may be beneficial to try to be happy for a while and observe if your dreams change.

Once you have resolved the issue with your grandmother, you will be able to move on from it and achieve a state of emotional equilibrium. This will allow you to progress towards a happier future.

?‍♀️You have been experiencing this for an extended period, which is classified as stress-related trauma. There is a time limit for this type of situation, and once it has elapsed, it is advisable to move on. I hope this information is helpful. If there is no improvement, I suggest you seek systematic counseling before the exam. There is a highly competent counseling team here, and I believe there is someone who can assist you.

Yi Xinli World and I Love You.

The dead are gone forever, and the living must go on living.

Life is the continuation of love, and love is the sublimation of life. What comes to an abrupt end is only that moment. The long river of years will eventually bring us together.

Give love an outlet. I was moved by the deep affection you have for your grandmother, as described in the question. It is clear that your grandmother loves you very much and has given you a lot of warmth, which is why you are so reluctant to let her go.

However, the pandemic prevented you from returning to school and seeing your grandmother one last time, intensifying the regret and making this love even more painful. You are consumed by the grief of losing your grandmother daily and the pressure of exams, so you've begun to consider escape.

Avoidance is the most irresponsible idea. If Grandma were still alive, she would pull your ears and wake you up, scolding you for thinking about such things. You love Grandma, so you need to do something.

Give love an outlet. Put a photo of your grandmother in your bag and look at it when you miss her (you can also save it on your phone), carry around an object that belonged to her, and your grandmother's love will always be with you.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes. You know how your grandmother would want you to behave. You know how your parents would want you to behave.

I am certain that your grandmother does not want you to see her in this way. You understand the hopes of the elderly better than anyone. In fact, from your description, you have considered these issues and also thought about the consequences.

You are kind, so you will not do anything stupid that hurts yourself or others.

Let go and move on. You will get through this. It will take time to repair the emotional trauma, but you will get there. This does not mean that you have a disease or that you are suffering from depression.

First, pay attention to physical and mental discomfort. If necessary, go to the hospital for a diagnosis to see if there is something wrong with you. If so, take the medicine and get the treatment. Second, learn to comfort yourself.

Let go of your sorrows and unburden your mind. You can go further. Grandma will still be alive in the years to come, and you, my children, will meet again after all.

And when that time comes, you will have no regrets, and neither will Grandma.

Hello, classmate. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to support you.

In fact, Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross believes that when we experience a sad situation, such as the death of a loved one, we go through the five stages of grief.

1.) Denial

2.) Anger

3.) Beg

4.) Frustrated

5.) Accept

You might be going through the fourth stage right now.

You didn't get to see your grandmother for the last time because of the school closure due to the pandemic in March this year. You feel empty inside and like there's a missing ritual.

I think you should look into getting some professional psychological counseling. She can help you plan a formal farewell ceremony for your grandmother.

As a student, you're eligible for a 50% discount on the platform's counseling services.

Hey there! All you need to do is fill out a form and submit proof of enrollment as a current student. You can apply now!

If there's a school psychologist on staff, you can also reach out to her.

A psychologist. Her services should be free of charge.

In fact, more than six years ago, when my mother passed away, I also felt like I was dreaming of lying in the coffin with her after the funeral. I was my mother's only daughter, and my siblings were from my father's first wife. Later, at my request, my husband took me to see the Chinese medicine practitioner who had treated me a year earlier when I was pregnant but had lost the baby.

The Chinese medicine practitioner took my pulse and said that my mother's sudden death had hit me particularly hard and that I was on the verge of depression. At the time, I was experiencing a lack of interest in doing anything, difficulty sleeping and eating, an inability to engage in any activities, and frequent crying.

It might be that you haven't been able to come to terms with your grandmother's death because of the pressure of exams at the moment. That could be why you feel as if you can't breathe.

If you'd rather not seek counseling, you can also try some self-help methods.

For instance, you could write a formal farewell letter to your grandmother, with no restrictions on the number of words or length.

Another option is to use the "empty chair technique."

The "empty chair technique" is simple. You sit in one chair and imagine your grandmother sitting in the other. Then you tell her everything you want to say, including how you feel guilty for not being able to see her one last time.

Once you've spoken about it, you'll have let go completely and accepted that Grandma has passed away.

If you're not sure how to use the "empty chair technique" described above, I suggest you speak to a professional psychologist.

You can't forget your grandmother, either.

I once saw a foreign movie about a 9-year-old boy with AIDS who was really sad because a girl in his class had died before him. His mother told him, "You will never forget that girl."

"She'll always be in your heart, like a photograph."

So, you can't forget the bits and pieces of your grandmother's life. They'll become precious memories buried in your heart.

I think the reason you often have dreams about jumping off buildings is that your subconscious mind wants to express something.

For instance, it's time for you to accept that your grandmother passed away in March of this year.

Maybe once you've said your goodbyes and given Grandma a proper send-off, the dreams about jumping off buildings will stop.

Later on, I told myself, "My mother has gone to the other end of the world, to the blue sky and white clouds."

When I miss her, I look up at the blue sky and white clouds.

I'm sure your grandmother would want you to keep living a strong and courageous life, not to dwell on your loss and get stuck there.

I really hope you can find a good solution to the problem you're having soon.

That's all I can think of right now.

I hope my answers are helpful and inspiring to you, my colleague. I am the solution, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and wish you the best!

Hello!

You had a tough year in 2022. Hugs!

It's been nine months since Grandma passed away. You haven't missed her for a single day. You weren't around when she passed away, and you didn't even have the chance to say goodbye at the funeral. But in these nine months, I think the longing for her shows your love for her. Grandma would smile from the bottom of her heart even in the afterlife. A person disappears from the world not when they die, but when no one misses them.

Grandma is happy. You miss her, and Dad and Uncle are sad. This has built your family. There is love.

Grandma loved you and wouldn't want to see you like this. She didn't choose to be born, grow old, get sick, or die. But she still loves you. She's in heaven and always wishes you well. She doesn't want to see you like this.

I can see you're trying. You're becoming a better person. You've already changed your outlook on life and death. You want to change the status quo. Let's give you a round of applause!

If you weren't facing the exam, you'd be able to get out of it. But you are, so you're feeling uncomfortable. I can imagine how overwhelmed you are.

I understand you want to see your grandmother that way and feel relieved. You're also rational and know it's not possible because you have loving family. Your self-persuasion is effective. Emotions fluctuate, so you think about it during the day and dream about it at night. This is normal. I hug you again!

What should I do?

When you feel this way, let yourself feel it. If you miss your grandmother and want to cry, then cry. If you're still stuck on not having a proper goodbye, try the "empty chair" technique. Use this to say goodbye to your grandmother!

When you and your grandmother can say goodbye and let your emotions flow, you should feel better. Then you will be able to face the pressure of exams with relative ease. We know that exams are the path we must take. This is something that every student must accomplish.

You will find a way to get out of this.

If you can afford it, you can find a good psychologist to help you. This might make things easier.

I hope you can enter your dream school next year.

The world and I love you!

Hello. You said your grandmother passed away in March and you were shocked. It's been nine months. Grief usually eases up after half a year. If it doesn't, you should see a counselor. Let me try to analyze it for you.

You regret not seeing your grandmother before she died. You haven't released your grief, so you're still sad. You said, "My grandmother died at the start of the year. I was close to her. Since then, I've spent two-thirds of every evening crying."

Write letters or keep a diary to express your emotions about your grandmother. Read them, cry, and find an outlet for your grief. Expressing yourself is healing. This will help your mood.

I can see that you are sad and afraid. You feel that your grandmother died because your father and uncle developed heart problems after she passed away.

Your family is very loving. Your grandmother's death had a big impact on you and your family. Your father and uncle got heart problems because they were sad. They will get better slowly, so don't worry. You said your grandmother "sacrificed" her life. What does "sacrifice" mean?

How do you understand it? Is there meaning in sacrificing your life for your family?

This may be a problem for you. Talk to someone you love about it.

You're just starting to think about life and death, which shows you're already dealing with this emotion. Everyone has to think about life and death. Grandma is gone, and we're more appreciative of life because of it.

You love your family and hope they are happy. Then you should also love the people around you, for their sake. "I have a lovely family and friends, and I grew up in a greenhouse."

"So, when I think back to the little things I did with my grandmother, I feel a little relieved." Your contemplation has elevated your understanding of grief.

If you're stressed about exams and grieving, it's normal to have negative emotions. I know you're thinking about ending it all because you're stressed and your grandmother is your only link to your late grandmother. But your parents need you, and you're not thinking about them. If you're thinking about jumping from a building, go to the hospital. If you can still study and live your life, you're not sick. You can learn to heal yourself or get help from a counselor. I wish you peace and good luck.