What if you hurt someone you like at the age of 17 and it seems like nothing can be changed?

I believe these are two distinct questions.

I feel there may be an issue in your relationship with him, as well as in your understanding of the concept of "unrequited sexual love."

If I may enquire, from what source did you initially learn about the concept of unrequited sexual love? Could you please also elaborate on the process you went through to determine your relationship with the concept of unrequited sexual love?

Have you taken the time to consider all the influencing factors in a comprehensive manner? Or did you simply accept the definition because it seemed to fit your psychological needs and you happened to be looking for a reason for yourself, seeing as you were looking at some terms that seemed similar to your situation?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether you needed to forgive him, or if you were using the idea of unrequited love as a reason to end the relationship.

Could it be that it was the concept itself that held a certain allure for you?

It might be helpful to consider these questions, as they could affect your understanding of yourself. Receiving such a relatively new concept for you, and one that has a clear directional definition of intimacy, could shape you during your exposure to the concept. You might find it beneficial to learn more about counterexamples. You are still young and have many possibilities, so it might be best to avoid rushing to define yourself.

I'm curious to know what led you to seek a change in your intimate relationship with him. Was it a personal issue with him, or something else?

Could it be something specific?

Now that you are separated and want to hide from him, could it be because you feel guilty for hurting him badly? Or is it because you don't want to face the fact that you are separated?

Perhaps there is something else you would rather not face?

There are a number of factors that can influence intimacy, both significant and subtle, which can contribute to a fulfilling and nuanced emotional experience. It is therefore understandable that it may take time to gradually feel, think, and reflect. I hope you are able to find a solution to your own issues.

Kiss, I saw your confession and I empathize with the emotional distress you are facing. Perhaps we could chat about it together?

1. It's understandable that at 17, people are still figuring things out. They start to form good impressions of the opposite sex and experience the beginnings of love. However, there will still be times when they're unsure of what's going on and may find it challenging to interact with the opposite sex. After all, when we were young and 17, we took many classes, but there wasn't a class specifically on how to navigate love. It's natural to feel a bit overwhelmed, so it's important not to be too hard on yourself. I'm here for you if you need a hug.

2. At 17 years old, it's often considered puppy love. If it's puppy love, it's possible that you might separate because your parents find out, your teacher doesn't allow it, and you two are immature. This is very normal, so don't worry too much.

3. If you still want to be with him, apart from balancing your studies and your relationship, and dealing with your teachers and parents, you might consider having a good talk with him. Although from an adult's perspective, I don't really recommend this, but if you are not willing to let go, and it will affect your studies and life going forward, it might be better to have a chat. Who knows, after you've mustered the courage to talk, you might be able to get back together.

It is important to remember to focus on learning.

4. If you are afraid to say something to his face, you might consider writing a little note and sending it via WeChat or something similar. You made a mistake when you hurt him, and I believe that after you are honest with him, even if he doesn't stay with you anymore, he will be able to move on.

Please feel free to refer to this information as needed. Thank you.

Everyone is a beacon of light! Whether you ask a question or answer one, your words can really help to brighten up the hearts of so many people. This is the amazing power we share!

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun here. You're 17, full of youth and dreams, and all the beauty and challenges that come with it. You've liked the boy you like for a long time, and that's a wonderful thing!

But you've realized you need "unrequited love" and feel awful for hurting him. You're so sad and feel guilty, but you can't do anything to make it better.

Let's give each other a big hug and figure out what the problem is together.

?1. For now, don't worry about labeling yourself.

It's totally normal to feel like you don't fully understand yourself, what you want, or what kind of person you want to be or can become. And it's totally natural to feel a lot of different emotions when you're growing and changing.

This is especially true during adolescence, when you really start to explore who you are and what you want. You care a lot about how you come across to others, especially the way the opposite sex perceives you.

You have a great ability to "perceive" and you love to learn. You know about "unrequited love." Unrequited love is caused by a lack of love, which produces a rejection of love, or even a feeling of disgust or nausea.

But you can't really say you have "unrequited love" just because of how you're feeling right now. It might be making you feel like there's something wrong with you or him, but there's nothing wrong with you or him! You're both beautiful, and you're both worthy of love.

I just want to say that there are always lots of different ways to do everything. Now that love has come along, you can give things a go and not let some old beliefs get in your way.

Love is a kind of ability, and as it is an ability, it can naturally be improved through learning and training. When we are 0-3 months old, our parents' "unconditional acceptance" and "I am the most important" give us the ability to love and connect with others.

When we don't have enough mental nourishment, it can really affect our ability to love and be loved. The good news is that we can heal ourselves through meditation, writing, or professional psychological counseling. We can even go back to our childhood to heal past trauma.

I know it can be tough, but even if you don't solve it now, you will still need to face it again in the future when you face marriage and relationships.

I really think you should check out "Psychological Nutrition" by Lin Wentai.

2. Be brave and take the initiative to shoulder your own share of responsibility.

"Don't cry over spilt milk." If you love him, be brave; if you don't, let go. It's totally normal to feel torn between emotions. It's not clear whether taking a step forward will lead to happiness or an abyss.

It's totally normal to have feelings on both sides, but you might be putting a bit of a burden on yourself.

It's totally normal to feel guilty when the other person seems so calm and collected, even though you know your rejection has hurt him. It's okay to take a moment to consider things from two perspectives:

1) If you don't want to continue, who grows up without worries? Everyone will meet some new challenges. If he can't even bear this little hurt, how can he be the Ren'er you like? Whether it's a "hurt" or not, and how to heal the hurt, is his business. Just be yourself with peace of mind.

2) If you want to continue but are afraid, don't be afraid to express your concerns and fears. Be honest with the other person, gain his understanding and help, and solve the problem together.

And, dear child, I'd love to know how much this "like" weighs in your heart. How does it compare to the college entrance exam?

You can look back at this matter from the perspective of three, five, or even ten years from now. Just think about what you would do in that time.

I really hope this helps! Sending you lots of love ?

If you'd like to keep chatting, just click 'Find a coach' in the top right or bottom of the page. I'd love to keep in touch and support you as you grow.