What if you live in a family where the main focus is on beating and indifference?

Hello, This is for the person who asked the question.

From what you've told me, your mother is someone who likes to complain about others and put others down. She doesn't allow you to make mistakes. It's clear that your mother's negative emotions are very serious and have continued to this day. Your brother also seems to have been influenced by your mother and become closed off. I can understand your pain and give you a hug from afar.

Your mother may not be aware of what's going on, and it could be related to your father, who you haven't mentioned. This is just a guess on my part. If your mother has always been like this, it could mean that she has a lot of pent-up anger that she can't let out. The reason for these negative emotions may only be known to your mother, so she needs to learn to become aware of them and see them for what they are.

You're worried that you don't have what it takes to make friends. I can see that you're starting to recognize this as an issue and that you're working through it. However, this is just your fear, not necessarily the result of the truth. Having the ability to make friends is also the ability to navigate interpersonal relationships. We can understand the qualities needed to be friends through reading, interacting with others, and other channels. The most fundamental thing is that you have the ability to change your current situation, and you can seriously learn, discover, explore, and then make changes to grow yourself.

Given the issues you're facing with your mother and brother, I suggest you encourage your mother to seek professional psychological counseling. A counselor can help you understand the problems with your mother and brother, and also identify the underlying issues. Since a mother can have a significant impact on a child's life, your brother and you have also been affected. A counselor can help you understand the root cause of these negative emotions and communicate more effectively with your mother and brother to find a solution.

I hope this helps.

Hello!

I'm Yi Ming, a heart exploration coach.

I understand your pain.

It's hard in a family like this.

Good for you for being aware and trying to find a solution.

I'm happy to share what I know with you. I hope it's helpful.

1. Take care of yourself and remember that you are not your parents.

In a family like this, we can't get encouragement or unconditional support from our parents. We also can't communicate effectively. So learn to take care of your emotions and be less disturbed by them.

We don't get to choose our parents.

Our parents also influence us.

Good for you for seeing the impact and trying to make a difference.

We can't choose our family, but we can decide how to deal with it.

In your third year of high school, you have academic and social pressures.

Small changes make a big difference.

It's about knowing the difference between your parents' problems and your own.

This will make us feel more relaxed.

Parents have limits. They cause distress, but we can't change them. We can only change ourselves.

When they say or do something you don't like, ignore them and focus on your studies.

Think about how they can change.

When you're in a bad mood, take care of yourself.

We will become strong.

2. Focus on the present.

I know this is hard for you.

You've always lived in a home where discipline and indifference are the norm.

You say you're sensible. Look at the present and see what you can do.

Focus on your studies so you can get into the university you like. Also, try to maintain a distance from your family.

You had a broader world and a different perspective. You would have more strength to face such a family.

Don't judge your parents too much.

This is a common thought at your age.

Are you going to check on things at home?

We have our own opinions.

We also have to learn to see that our parents are different from other people's parents.

They may want to treat you and your brother better, but they may not know how.

Your father is impatient, disrespectful, and swears a lot. You know this, and you try not to be like him.

We try to be independent.

Parents are parents, and we are ourselves.

Look on the bright side.

For example, you can go to school with peace of mind and recognize which of your parents' behaviors you don't expect.

Or don't be like them.

Read "You Should Fly to Your Mountain Like a Bird." No matter what kind of family you have, you can live the life you want with hard work.

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Best!