What if you want to do it according to your own state, but it will affect others and you are afraid of being blamed?

Good day, question asker. My name is Evan.

As evidenced by the questioner's own account, when at work, the questioner is preoccupied with concerns about whether their actions align with the expectations of others. This leads to feelings of intense anxiety and a sense of doubt about their ability to perform their current role effectively. The questioner is fearful of not meeting the standards expected at work and is particularly averse to receiving negative feedback. At what point did this perspective emerge?

It is important to recognize that everyone possesses unique strengths and weaknesses. We are not perfect, and there are always tasks that we are not adept at. Why does the questioner experience anxiety when they are unable to meet expectations? Could it be due to the beliefs instilled in the questioner by their family of origin? If they are unable to accomplish tasks, does that make them unclean or a dirty person?

From what source does this association with uncleanliness and dirtiness originate?

It is advisable to offer the OP a reassuring gesture and some encouragement. It is not uncommon to experience feelings of anxiety when one is unable to meet the performance expectations at work.

Such negative emotions impede the questioner's ability to think clearly and may lead to self-doubt. It is therefore important to learn how to identify and eliminate these negative emotions and to cultivate a positive mindset.

What cannot defeat the questioner will undoubtedly imbue the questioner with greater fortitude to confront future challenges. It is imperative to discern the source of these adverse perceptions and to cultivate a more constructive perspective.

As the question was posed on an online forum, it is not possible to provide a comprehensive response. However, the following advice can be offered to the questioner on how to manage the negative emotions that have been identified:

It is essential to ascertain the underlying cause of the anxiety.

What is the source of the anxiety? Is it a concern about work, or the way others evaluate the questioner's work?

This necessitates that the questioner meticulously identify and acknowledge the specific factors that elicit such a response, subsequently documenting them in written form.

It is essential to identify the factors that contribute to the questioner's negative emotional state and to ascertain the underlying cause of these emotions. In this particular case, the questioner perceives himself as a novice in this industry, which evokes feelings of inadequacy and hinders his ability to perform his tasks effectively. Furthermore, upon completion of his work, he experiences a sense of self-reproach. It is crucial to determine whether these feelings originate from within the questioner himself or are influenced by external factors.

From the questioner's own description, this is more of an educated guess. Why is that so? Does the questioner lack confidence in his work? Is it because of this lack of confidence that the questioner is worrying about his work and suspecting that he is experiencing anxiety?

Only by identifying the root cause of the negative emotions can the questioner develop a response strategy that is based on their concerns.

One should endeavor to resolve their own issues.

Once the source of negative emotions has been identified, it is possible to attempt to improve the situation. For instance, if the questioner believes that the task at hand is beyond their abilities, they may wish to consider ways of developing their competence in the relevant field.

To illustrate, the four-象 work method categorizes tasks into four distinct quadrants: (1) important and urgent, (2) important but not urgent, (3) not important but urgent, and (4) not important and not urgent. By employing this method, individuals can enhance their work efficiency. Subsequently, it is essential to ascertain whether their adverse reactions have diminished. It is crucial to recognize that there are always more potential avenues than challenges.

In the face of negative emotions, it is advisable to avoid prolonged dwelling on or discussion of these emotions. Instead, it is recommended to engage in the practice of offering positive affirmations. With consistent repetition of this practice, individuals may gradually become more accustomed to this approach and may observe a shift in their overall mindset.

Please enumerate the most unfavorable potential outcomes.

What is the most unfavorable potential outcome? What is the most unfavorable potential outcome for the questioner, and what is the most unfavorable potential outcome for the questioner? Provide a comprehensive list and assess whether you have any coping strategies or if you are genuinely unable to accept them.

In lieu of succumbing to depression and anxiety, it is preferable to enumerate the most unfavorable potential outcomes and formulate a response strategy without delay. To illustrate, what would transpire if one were to lack competence at work? When such an eventuality does occur, the strategy will enable a measured response, thereby mitigating the anxiety associated with the situation.

It is crucial to recognize that there are always multiple avenues for resolution, even when faced with challenges. This is a principle that our ancestors have long espoused: the importance of identifying potential issues early on and taking measures to prevent them from becoming problems.

It is important to be mindful of one's own verbal habits.

It is not uncommon for individuals to resort to clichés when confronted with unfavorable circumstances. For instance, expressions such as "I'm not clean anymore" or "Today I messed up again" exemplify an exaggerated and emotionally charged response to events. These negative words can intensify the questioner's negative thoughts.

It is recommended that the individual posing the question refrain from utilizing such vocabulary. In order to facilitate the transformation of negative sentiments into a constructive outlook, it is advised to substitute these negative terms with positive sentiments and commendations. For instance, "terrible" can be replaced with "unfortunate" or "there is room for improvement," and "disaster" can be substituted with "challenge" or "inconvenience."

It is advisable to seek out positive aspects.

It is important to recognize that perfection is unattainable. Regardless of one's capabilities, it is not possible to achieve absolute perfection. Consequently, it is unwise for an individual to demand perfection from themselves and to allow themselves to make mistakes at work. When one finds oneself dwelling on negative or negative emotions, it is essential to immediately shift one's focus to a more positive perspective.

To illustrate, a game may be lost. This is an unfavorable outcome, but the process of identifying the reasons for this can provide an opportunity to learn new methods that can be applied to future games to avoid similar mistakes.

It is advisable to seek external assistance.

Should the aforementioned methods prove ineffective, it is imperative to seek external assistance and psychological intervention from a duly qualified professional, such as a psychologist or counselor. It is crucial to convey your negative emotions to these professionals in a forthright and confident manner, as these interventions are confidential and predicated on honesty.

Provide a detailed account of the manner in which these anxious feelings manifest in your experience, describe the typical circumstances under which they arise, and outline your response to them. Should the need arise, maintain regular communication with these professionals until such time as these negative emotions no longer impact the questioner.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to the individual who posed the question.

Dear Question Asker, From your description, I can discern a profound sense of inferiority, depression, anxiety, and self-blame.

At 28 years old, you lack the ability to initiate new projects due to a lack of experience and confidence. You are hesitant to take the initiative for fear of making mistakes, being held accountable, and causing delays.

This resulted in a tendency to procrastinate, difficulty understanding rules, and frequently falling behind the average pace.

You describe yourself as lacking in competence and ineffectual, and you feel like a fraud. You believe that people will eventually reject you once they discover your true character.

It is evident that you have a strong inclination to relinquish your inhibitions and pursue experimentation.

It appears that there may be a formidable and enigmatic force impeding your progress. Your actions will undoubtedly impact the work and lives of others, potentially leading to animosity, disdain, and even disengagement.

You were informed that you would never achieve success, that you would consistently perform poorly, that you could never improve, and that you were simply as you felt: unworthy, flawed, and irremediable.

You are unsure of the reason behind your reluctance to attempt new things, particularly when it comes to the fear of causing harm or influencing others. After numerous instances of self-doubt and self-criticism, you have lost the motivation to pursue personal growth.

It is challenging to conceptualize the extent of rejection, suppression, and control experienced during childhood, which has led to the formation of a negative self-perception.

It is important to identify the source of these voices.

It is important to determine whether the negative comments about yourself are your genuine thoughts, accurate feedback from others, information conveyed to you by that voice, or simply your own perception.

If these comments are not aligned with your genuine thoughts or the truth, it is important to identify their source and assess their veracity.

It would be beneficial to recall and become aware of the situations in which you felt similar emotions when those voices that negated and attacked you appeared, and what happened at that time. It would also be helpful to identify who you were with and what they said at the time.

It is not uncommon to make mistakes. Mistakes are an inevitable part of the learning process.

I can see that you have been trying to resolve this issue and that you also want to find your true self.

It's just that those voices have taken a firm hold of your brain, leaving you without the courage or motivation to take the first step.

You are concerned about the potential impact of your actions on others and even perceive yourself as an undercover agent sent by competitors to cause disruption.

You are overly concerned about making mistakes, as if each mistake will make you appear more flawed and irremediable.

It is important to remember that nobody is perfect, and that making mistakes is a normal part of the process. There is no shame in this.

In fact, it is through bold experimentation that we gain insight into our own limitations and identify areas for improvement, enabling us to become a better version of ourselves.

Do not be afraid to make mistakes. It is acceptable to make errors in judgment.

You may be more capable of constructive engagement than you believe.

It is possible that you feel you have a powerful destructive force within you. On the one hand, you work independently and without following set procedures. On the other hand, you feel that you are meddling in matters that do not concern you and that your involvement is ultimately detrimental.

It is possible, however, that this is merely a form of malicious suppression and denial by your nurturer, employed to facilitate control over you.

The reality is that you are simply an ordinary individual, not particularly powerful or capable of causing harm to others. Conversely, other people are not as weak and fragile as you perceive them to be.

Be aware of the source of those voices and be courageous in attempting to verify who you are and what you represent.

Best regards,

Good afternoon, questioner. I see a nervous person in front of me, hands clasped, telling me about their life. I can feel the anxiety, unease, inferiority, depression, tension, and self-blame within you.

You're overwhelmed.

Let's find out how to fix this.

You want to be liked and praised. You think about problems from other people's perspectives. You worry that you're not doing well enough. This affects the whole team. You often accept work or ideas you don't want to. Let's think about this carefully. Is this a good idea?

You're doing yourself a disservice by doing work you don't like or are bad at. If you don't do it well, the team will think you're useless. This makes you feel inferior and anxious. The more anxious you feel, the worse things get.

What should we do?

Everyone has unique advantages.

You are no exception! You just haven't discovered it yet.

This is where you are most adept and can bring your self-worth into play!

Think of one thing you have done successfully over the past 28 years. Did you learn a subject well at school? Did you help someone at work? Did you get recognition for a job well done? Did you achieve good results in a sport or art project?

Then, think about how you did that and what you're good at.

Or go to a career planner and let them help you find your strengths and potential.

We gain respect and recognition from others when we work hard in areas where we have advantages and skills. We enjoy difficulties when we work hard in areas where we have advantages and skills. We don't worry about how others perceive us when we work hard in areas where we have advantages and skills.

You're smart. You've just been distracted. Take action and find your direction!

If you need anything, just ask.

Good luck!