What if you're always afraid that the person you like might end up with your best friend?

Perhaps you could consider embracing the questioner and observing their expressions. It seems that your main concern is your friend.

Given your position in this situation, it's understandable that you might feel "confused and scared and uneasy." This is a good time to step back and consider the matter from a higher perspective. Let's work together to find the facts.

It would seem that the girl (the original poster) and the guy are not boyfriend and girlfriend.

"It's just someone I like. I don't think he's my boyfriend, but I could be wrong." It's possible he has someone he likes, but we'll have to wait and see what the future brings.

It would seem that the girl's friend went to the boy and sent him a message that was perfectly normal.

It is possible that the girl's friend may have had a certain level of interest in the guy. However, it is also possible that she did not, or perhaps he was not her ideal match.

It would seem that these chat records were screenshots taken by the girl's friend and shown to her.

The girl's friend was forthcoming and transparent, and did not engage in any deceitful actions or withhold information. Instead, she conveyed the truth directly to her.

Fact 4: The girl's friend withdrew the sentence she was afraid the girl might misunderstand and then said, "I'll leave it as it is, and I'll refrain from contacting you."

If you were in the guy's position, would you have been able to discern something? It's possible, but not a certainty. If the guy maintains his stance and doesn't take any action, could it be interpreted that the two were never destined to be together?

Let's consider the girl's emotions in light of the facts.

"I've been a bit cautious around my friends ever since this incident."

"Even in my dreams, I find myself dreaming of her with someone I like."

If you were in the position of an outsider, how would you feel?

Could this fear and vigilance be a genuine concern?

Perhaps it would be more logical for the girl to tell the guy that she likes him and then see how the other person feels. If it doesn't work out, there's no harm done.

Perhaps it would be helpful to ask your friend directly if she has feelings for the guy. It's natural to feel uncertain about the future of a friendship when there's a new development. It's also important to remember that relationships don't necessarily follow a set order of arrival. They evolve based on mutual understanding and respect.

It seems that your main concern is that your friend will get together with the guy. However, I sense that you are also afraid of losing your friend.

It is possible that once they recover (the likelihood of which is unclear), you may lose this friend. You never had a chance with that boy, and while it is uncertain whether you will lose this friend, it is likely that it will be difficult to remain friends with her.

It might be helpful to consider going back to the facts whenever you're feeling confused and unsure of what to do. It's possible that they're not as bad as you think, and even if they are, accepting them and wishing them well could be a positive step forward. This could be an important aspect of mature love.

Love is not about possession. True love is about giving. I am willing to do anything for the other person. Then there is responsibility. I am willing to give up a whole forest for the other person. The questioner may still be young, so they can learn about Sternberg's three-part theory of love. For this kind of feeling that we think is inexplicable, a theoretical understanding may be helpful. When our thinking becomes clearer, we can try to ensure that our emotions do not blind us to the truth.

I wish you the best and hope that you will find the right love in the best years of your life.

I'd like to thank the poster for sharing their thoughts and feelings with us. From the text, it's clear that anxiety/should-you-trust-him-given-his-close-love/currently-in-a-relationship-do-i-feel-my-feelings-for-her-exceed-those-for-my-ex-5721.html" target="_blank">relationship-with-another-woman-how-should-you-proceed-5719.html" target="_blank">trust is a major issue for them. It's important for us to talk about this.

Let's start with trust. We need to talk about the two relationships mentioned by the host: the one with a friend and the one with a loved one. It's clear from the description that getting along with friends has also become complicated and volatile because of the fondness for "someone" and the accompanying uneasiness.

I don't know what this friend means to the host, aside from "person you like." If your friendship is based on mutual support and trust, it's about love and disappointment. You're anxious because you like each other, which has caused defensiveness. This is a common worry in love. Friends are people we're close to and think of ourselves in relation to. The relationship between friends and "the person you like" is our imagination of our love for each other. It evokes anxiety, which is also common in falling in love.

If you find yourself unable to compete, it's time to take control. This anxiety isn't just a passing phase. It's affecting your state of life. You've got to face it head on. It's often the case when facing love. You'll get through it. You'll feel an urge to do something, even if you don't know what. You might even think about hurting someone. If this brings real danger or strong emotions, you need to be vigilant. The complex might be too strong to control. Pay attention to it.

Psychological counseling is the best option.

Hello.

Host:

After reading the post, it's clear to me that the poster is anxious and afraid. However, I also see that the poster is courageous in expressing his distress and actively seeking help on the platform. This will undoubtedly help the poster understand himself better and accept himself.

I will now share my observations and thoughts from the post, which will undoubtedly help the poster gain a richer perspective on themselves.

1. Let's identify the root cause of our unease.

In the post, the host mentioned that she was too suspicious and was always afraid that the person she liked would be with her good friend. It's clear that this is not the case.

The poster needs to think about what lies behind the sense of caution. What kind of psychological needs does it hide?

This is a place where the original poster needs to get to know and understand themselves. And here I talk about my observations in the post. I am certain that the original poster's unease and fear come from three aspects.

The person you like is the first issue. You haven't established a romantic relationship with him, so from his perspective, you're not attractive enough.

Or perhaps he likes you too, but hasn't confessed. Regardless of the circumstances, this uncertainty will make you feel uneasy.

The second is you. Your low sense of self-worth is the root cause of your sensitivity.

She doesn't believe she deserves to be treated well or to love and be loved. This makes her always worried about losing something.

Third, it's because of your best friend. She makes you feel pressured because she's outstanding.

It is more attractive.

2. Talk to your anxieties and fears.

From above, you understand the source of your fear and anxiety. It doesn't matter if the person you like hasn't confirmed the relationship with you or if it's because of your best friend.

These two factors are uncertain and uncontrollable. Interpersonal relationships are inherently uncontrollable, so we cannot control others; we can only control ourselves.

You can't control whether someone you like likes you back. As for your best friend, she's not done anything excessive, and she's considered things from your perspective.

The original poster should focus on themselves to soothe their anxieties and fears. They should connect with their inner child, who is anxious and fearful.

The original poster should engage in a dialogue with this restless inner child. She should tell the child that she is aware of its restlessness and fear and that she understands it very well. She should thank the child for reminding her that she loves her no matter what.

The reality is that they are not together and they have not done anything extreme. You can soothe your emotions through similar conversations.

3. Boost your self-worth.

Our emotions and rationality are inextricably linked. When our emotions take over, it's time to step back and assess the situation. Often, the root cause is a lack of self-worth, which fuels our anxiety and fear.

Boosting your sense of self-worth is a surefire way to replenish your inner energy and bid farewell to your anxieties and fears.

Improving your sense of self-worth starts with acceptance.

Acceptance is the first step to change. Accept who you are and focus on what you can change to become a better version of yourself.

Self-acceptance is a significant topic that encompasses the impact of our upbringing, education, and social environment.

These must be re-examined from an adult perspective to determine if the methods are objective and identify any limitations or restrictions. Only then can we truly understand and know ourselves.

You can only accept yourself better when you do these things.

I am a psychological detective coach, Zeng Chen, and I am confident that these will be helpful to the original poster.

I look forward to your feedback, and I expect it to be constructive.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm a pretty modest and self-effacing person, just like the rest of the world.

Awareness is the first step on the path to change. When we can see a problem for what it is, it means that we are almost there, ready to solve it. Being able to notice it will definitely lead to progress.

I guess I'm just a little too suspicious.

It's totally normal to feel a bit on edge when you're head over heels for someone who's not yours yet. It's like we're always waiting for the other shoe to drop! Even good friends can feel like a threat when we're this vulnerable.

This kind of wariness is caused by one's own insecurity and is also a fear of the unknown. I totally get it! I've been there, and I've got a few suggestions that might help.

1. Give yourself a break! It can be exhausting to be on your guard in a familiar and safe environment with trustworthy people.

2. Transform your own magnetic field to welcome good luck! In folk culture, people often use the expression "a crow's mouth" to describe someone who is always unlucky. The same idea is also found in the explanation of the law of attraction: we don't want something to happen, but it happens anyway; we fear something, and it happens.

I really hope we can use more positive words about ourselves and welcome our own good luck.

3. Don't be too hard on yourself about things that haven't happened yet. It's good to focus on what you have now, on the person you like, rather than on your boyfriend. If you like them, you can always choose to be together!

Be proactive, and who knows what wonderful things might happen! It's totally normal to be afraid of betrayal and rejection for something that hasn't happened yet. But remember, you can't make progress if you're stuck worrying about it. The best way to get what you want is to take action!

Be brave and be yourself, my dear friend!

Warmest regards!

Hello! I'd like to extend a warm hug from afar to you.

I admire your ability to recognize that you are overly vigilant and to seek the cause within yourself rather than attributing blame and criticism to others. Awareness is the first step towards positive change.

It may be helpful to consider that the unease, anxiety, and worry you experience in relationships may be influenced by your strong sense of caution, rather than by any actual wrongdoing on the part of the other person. This is a natural part of the process of facing and growing through these experiences.

It might be helpful to try to be aware of what is behind your worry when you fear that the person you like may be with your friend. What are your physical and mental feelings at that moment? It could be that you are feeling fear of rejection, being disliked, betrayal, abandonment, not being loved, longing to be accepted, needed, valued, cared for... When you can try to get along with your own guard, explore the needs hidden behind your excessive guard, you might find that you are more accepting, understanding, and able to let go of the self-blame and guilt that arise, and face it with an open mind.

For instance, you might consider trying to be more sincere and brave in relationships, and telling your friends what your inner needs are and how you want to be treated. Of course, this is a gradual process that requires you to truly accept yourself from the inside out and believe that you are already very good as you are. The acceptance, affirmation, and value that others give you are just one way to show your own self-love, because you can also give yourself what you want.

You might consider making a list of your strengths as a way of accepting yourself better. Similarly, keeping a gratitude journal could help you to cultivate self-confidence and enhance your sense of self-worth. In your spare time, you might like to explore new interests and passions for yourself, which could give you more control over the things you do.

In a relationship, it's important to recognize that you want to be treated a certain way, and that you should try to treat yourself that way first. When you can always pay attention to your physical and mental feelings, respect your feelings, and respond to your feelings in a timely and appropriate manner, it will affect and hint at the way others respond to you. Therefore, you are the source of everything. You long for love, so first try to learn to love yourself.

If I may be so bold, I am the little ear of the Q&A Pavilion, Lily World, and I love you.