What is going on with my confusion, absent-mindedness and sad mood?

Hello, thank you so much for trusting me and inviting me to answer your question. Before we get to that, if you don't mind, I'd love to give you a big hug to show you some warmth and support. ?

It's totally normal to forget things sometimes! I've been in that situation too. It's not your fault, and it's really easy to fix. Just go back to the store and pay.

"Then, just check with the waiter to see what I need to pay."

You said that you felt like crying a little when you went out of the store after paying. I can imagine how that must have triggered something in your inner child! You want to find the real reason, and you mentioned another thing that might be related: your husband is going to Singapore with his boss on a business trip for eight days, and you don't want him to go.

First of all, I just want to say that the "forgetting to pay" thing can at most be considered a mistake, not a "mistake." Maybe the attitude of the shop assistant made you feel a certain way, making you feel "sad." Just as you said, "the inner child." Maybe in the future you could pay more attention to your "inner child."

It's also likely that it's because your husband has to be away for eight days on business, and you're not too keen on that. So, you're probably feeling a bit mixed up inside.

It's tough to pinpoint exactly what's going on. If you're up for it, I'd highly recommend chatting with a counselor. They can help you untangle your feelings and gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

I just wanted to share my thoughts with you, but please don't take them as the final word on the matter. I'm sending you lots of love and care!

Thanks so much for letting me answer this question. I hope I can help and support you.

You forgot to pay for something you bought in a shop, and the shop assistant's attitude made you feel uncomfortable. You know people make mistakes, but you still felt pretty emotional. You were able to ask for help on the platform, which also meant you truly forgave yourself and got the answer you wanted.

I bet you were at a loss for words, feeling aggrieved, ashamed, and blaming yourself. All kinds of thoughts engulfed you, and you suppressed them back inside. You didn't show it at the time, but it has been affecting you ever since.

Did the waiter's sharp gaze bring up a memory that made you feel ashamed and aggrieved? It's natural to feel that way in public.

This is something we can look into further. Have you ever been wronged by your parents or disapproved of by your partner, which has triggered thoughts in your mind?

Your husband is going to Singapore with his boss, and you want to stop him, but you can't express your thoughts. You feel lonely and unhappy, and enter a low-energy state, which triggers negative thinking. You have been suppressing your feelings for too long. What are you worried about? You can express your love and needs, otherwise it's too hard to keep things bottled up inside.

People are shaped by their relationships, and they gain wisdom from them. It seems that in the original family, the couple didn't have this kind of communication, which has caused you trouble.

If you're suffering, it probably means you need to make some changes. And asking for help is a sign of strength.

Life is full of unexpected confusion, and you need to face it yourself. Your husband is away on business for a short time, which also gives you some space to be alone and spend time with yourself. Has it been a long time since you felt this way? No one is always there for you, so it's important to express your thoughts or write them down, have a dialogue with yourself, enjoy being alone, and live in harmony with yourself.

The only way to bring about change is to accept yourself and your imperfections. Many people are afraid of being rejected by others, so they don't admit their shortcomings. They want to present a good image to others and live an unreal life.

If you can talk about it, you've already resolved the confusion.

If you suppress your emotions, it can really get in the way. Even the smallest things can drain you and affect you. It's important to take care of yourself, because no one can pay attention to you all the time. You've got to empower yourself and give yourself energy. As long as we are open-minded and know how to admit our mistakes, it's no big deal.

If you give of yourself at work and in life, you can show your value and gain the love and care of others. It's a two-way street, and you'll gain the approval of others in your interactions, as well as the support of external forces. Your internal strength will also be enhanced. Enjoy life to the fullest!

Good day, my name is June.

From your account, I can discern your feelings of frustration and sadness. You may be experiencing a sense of helplessness and anxiety. I extend my support and encouragement to you.

1. The grievance of being wronged

The waitress instructed me to use the self-service payment machine, as there was no need to queue. She then placed the items I had purchased in a plastic bag.

I was momentarily distracted and believed I had completed the payment process. I then exited the premises, only to be pursued by the waitress, who appeared agitated and informed me that I had not yet settled my bill.

I informed the waitress of my mistake and returned to the store to settle the outstanding balance. I then checked with the waitress to ascertain the amount due.

From this description, it can be seen that you were not fully engaged during the shopping process, and you followed the instructions of the salesperson without question, loading the goods into the cart and leaving without paying.

It is not uncommon for individuals to forget to pay for items they have purchased. However, in this instance, the waitress appeared to be suspicious of your actions, which made you feel as though you were being accused of theft.

Her demeanor should evoke feelings of frustration and embarrassment. However, the fact remains that you neglected to complete the transaction, and attempting to reason with her would be futile.

Furthermore, your upbringing has instilled in you an understanding that engaging in a heated debate with her would be unproductive.

It is evident that no wrongdoing on your part has occurred. However, an inexplicable feeling has arisen in your subconscious, which has resulted in a doubling of your sense of grievance.

2. The sadness of parting

Due to my husband's upcoming business trip to Singapore with the boss, I am experiencing feelings of reluctance.

From the description provided, it is evident that the relationship between you and your husband is very strong, that you are very attached to him, and that you are reluctant to let him go on a business trip.

If circumstances permitted, I would be inclined to shed tears and exhibit a display of emotion to convey the depth of your distress.

As an adult, however, you must refrain from acting childishly. It is important to appear virtuous, considerate, and generous.

This will allow him to feel more at ease and to miss you more.

There is a discrepancy between your inner needs and your outward appearance. Two opposing forces are causing distress.

The waiter's attitude and your restraint are two opposing forces that compound the issue, resulting in a doubling of your distress.

If you feel the need to cry, please do so. There will be occasions when you feel as though you are on the brink of breaking down.

The adult world presents a multitude of challenges. While crying is not a solution, it can be an effective method for releasing emotions.

Once emotions have been released, the situation will resolve itself.

I hope the above is helpful. Best regards,

Good morning, My name is Jiang 61.

Firstly, I would like to thank you for placing your trust in this platform and recommending me as the person to answer your questions. You have asked me to address the issues of confusion, absent-mindedness and sad emotions that you are currently experiencing.

"After reviewing your comprehensive introduction, I have determined that you possess a high level of awareness and are seeking clarity on your emotions. I will now proceed to analyze the underlying issue.

1. The incident

1. After

You stated that on the evening in question, you stopped by FamilyMart on your way home from the gym. You requested a plastic bag and were advised by the waitress to use the self-service payment machine to avoid waiting in line.

At that point, she placed my purchases in the plastic bag. I was momentarily distracted and believed I had completed the payment process, so I exited the premises.

The waitress then proceeded to chase me out of the establishment and glared at me as she informed me that I had not yet paid. I was forced to explain that I had gone back into the store to settle my bill.

I then checked with the waitress the amount I had to pay.

I must admit that I was somewhat absent-minded at the time.

From your description, it is evident that you were not in an optimal state of mind to engage in shopping. You appeared distracted and somewhat irritable.

Please describe your level of care.

Additionally, you are concerned about how other individuals may perceive you. You used the term "fierce."

This suggests that the salesperson may have displayed a high level of hostility towards you.

You conduct yourself in a polite manner.

You are a highly polite individual, even in the face of negative attitudes from others. You believe you possess the personality traits that enable you to please others.

Although you did not verbalize your emotions, you were already feeling emotional.

2⃣️, emotions

After returning to the store to complete the transaction, I experienced a sudden urge to cry. I sensed that something within me, perhaps my inner child, had been triggered, but I was unsure of the cause. This emotional response occurred on a couple of occasions, and upon realizing that the situation was not conducive to my comfort, I chose to suppress it.

I was on the verge of tears.

After making the payment, you experienced a sudden urge to cry. I can discern that you felt a degree of aggrievement, which led to this emotional state. You felt aggrieved because, despite your clear intention to honour the debt, you were accused of theft, which caused you to feel aggrieved.

You are experiencing a strong urge to cry, but you are unable to express your emotions in a constructive manner.

The inner child

As a sensitive individual, you likely experienced similar situations in your childhood that evoked feelings of frustration. You may have found it challenging to articulate your emotions effectively, leading you to resort to expressing them through tears. The tone of the salesperson, in this case, triggered memories and a sense of injustice, prompting you to seek solace through tears on multiple occasions.

Emotions

Crying is an effective way to release pent-up emotions. Therefore, it is clear that you were experiencing a strong emotional response at the time.

Your emotional response was not directly related to the salesperson's statements, but rather to your subsequent thoughts and reflections. The thoughts that came to mind caused you to feel aggrieved, and you felt a strong urge to cry.

Emotional suppression

At that time, you were concerned about both your emotions and your professional image. You felt that the situation was not conducive to expressing your emotions, and therefore chose to suppress them.

You have previously experienced this state of emotional suppression. Following the suppression of your emotions, you may feel even more constrained.

3⃣️, Perception

Perception 1

You stated that your reluctance to let your husband go on a business trip may be due to the fact that he is leaving for Singapore the next day.

It is possible that your mental state is not optimal due to your assumption that your husband is going on a business trip and your subsequent reluctance to be left alone.

If so, were you contemplating your plans for his return from the business trip? Have you experienced similar lapses in concentration in the past?

Perception 2

You inquired as to the cause of your current melancholy.

You referenced the inner child and your hesitancy to allow your husband to embark on a business trip. These circumstances may have influenced your emotional state while shopping.

Perception 3

You stated, "I am aware that I am prone to errors due to my imperfect nature. I believe that I simply overlooked the payment, so I should not have been so adamant about it."

You believe that mistakes are an inevitable part of the human experience. This concept can be applied to your situation as well.

It is not reasonable to feel so strongly about forgetting to pay.

2. Causes of Emotions

1. Emotional ABC

Emotion ABC

The ABC theory of emotions posits that events serve as the impetus for shifts in emotions and behaviors, with the fundamental cause residing in the individual's perception and assessment of the event.

Situation Analysis

We can analyze the challenging situation you encountered in the shopping mall. A is the event that caused your difficult emotions, the salesperson's harsh words after you forgot to pay; B refers to the thoughts caused by the salesperson's attitude towards you, that is, you believe she was unprofessional; C refers to the fact that you are not the type to leave without paying, and the salesperson's attitude made you feel aggrieved. You were so upset that you couldn't speak, and you felt so bad that you wanted to cry. This is the result of the emotional response and the behavioral response related to the event.

2. The relationship between event and reaction

There is an indirect relationship between the two.

You believe these emotions are related to your inner child, and I concur. The mindset that can elicit these emotions is maintaining the salesperson's perception of you, which is likely influenced by your own self-perception.

It evokes memories of similar incidents from your childhood that were misinterpreted and left you feeling deeply hurt. Each time you encounter a similar situation, the same feelings of grievance resurface, prompting a desire to cry.

It would appear that the salesperson's harsh words directly caused reaction C, who wants to cry.

There is a direct relationship between the two.

It is important to note that there is a connection between A and C, which can be attributed to B. This represents the suppressed emotions experienced during childhood that have not been properly addressed. These emotions have manifested in the present situation, influencing the individual's current emotional state. The salesperson's attitude towards A is not the direct cause of the individual's desire to cry. Instead, the root cause can be attributed to the thoughts and perceptions about the salesperson's attitude, which have led to emotional fluctuations.

3⃣️, Attachment

Your emotional state is likely to be adversely affected by your partner's upcoming business trip. This suggests that you may have an attachment complex when he is not around. His absence has caused you to become somewhat anxious and distracted, which has impaired your ability to concentrate.

It is likely that you are an anxious attachment type.

Individuals with an anxious attachment style tend to exhibit a range of behaviors and emotions that can impact their professional relationships.

Individuals with an anxious attachment style tend to invest a significant amount of emotional energy into a relationship, yet often find that their partner is not interested in developing the relationship as intimately as they would like. This lack of intimacy can cause feelings of unease and, in some cases, even concern that their partner does not value them as much as they value them.

Individuals with an anxious attachment style are highly vigilant in intimate relationships, constantly monitoring the other person's actions, fearful of unstable relationships and insecurity. This can manifest as clinginess and an obsessive demeanor.

The relationship between this incident and the aforementioned factors

In your response to the respondent, you indicated that when you were a child, your father was ill, and your mother often accompanied him on business trips to care for him, which resulted in your feelings being overlooked and the care and attention you deserved being withheld. This led to feelings of resentment and insecurity. Your sense of insecurity was also intensified by your loved one's business trips.

However, this is not related to the incident in question.

If at that time you strongly desired your mother's continued presence and care, but she refused and did not allow you to express your thoughts, you felt aggrieved, unappreciated, and abandoned. This may be the reason.

It is my assessment that the mood swings are not caused by an attachment relationship. It is more likely that you were triggered by something related to the perception you had of the salesperson at the time, which caused feelings from your childhood.

In other words, you have more than one inner child, and further investigation is required.

3. Identify the inner child.

In regard to your question, "What is going on with my confusion, absent-mindedness, and sadness?,"

1. Identify the inner child.

By leveraging your self-awareness, you can gain a deeper insight and awareness into your emotional state. This enables you to identify and address any underlying dependent tendencies. It's possible that the emergence of your current emotional state is indicative of the presence of other, unresolved inner children. These unresolved issues may be manifesting as sadness, and they require attention to be resolved.

The specific methods are already known to you, so I will not reiterate them here.

2. Clear the inner child.

It is important to establish a secure attachment type.

Anxious attachment styles can have a significant impact on one's life. It is advisable to modify one's attachment style to achieve emotional independence.

It is important to establish a sense of security in independence.

Trust your own abilities when making decisions. Rely on your own judgment to handle the various tasks that arise in your professional life. You don't need to seek external validation from your colleagues or superiors.

Please be assured that I am a reliable and safe individual.

It is important to learn to detach.

Your lack of self-confidence is causing you to feel dependent. It is evident that your self-separation has not been resolved in a satisfactory manner.

It is therefore recommended that you gradually become accustomed to the experience and confidence of living alone from now on. You should learn to live your own life independently, whether or not your husband is present, in order to become an independent and determined person.

Going forward, there will be no separation anxiety.

Emotion Management

It is recommended that you change the state of grievance.

It is possible that you have been unable to express certain grievances from the past, which have resulted in your own emotional distress. It would be beneficial for you to identify the incident in question, acknowledge its existence, and attempt to reconcile with it.

Modify your approach to accommodate a more assertive stance.

From your description, I can see that you are kind, gentle, and humble. It also appears that you have a generally agreeable personality, which may cause you to consider the feelings of others and suppress your own feelings, resulting in a sense of injustice. To address this, it would be beneficial to learn to express your feelings and emotions in a constructive manner.

Effective emotion management

As with any situation, it is important to first identify your emotions, then accept them, and finally express them. In this case, when you feel aggrieved, in addition to fulfilling your financial obligations and expressing remorse, you can also communicate your feelings to the relevant individual, allowing for a more timely and effective resolution. Ultimately, this process of identifying, accepting, and expressing emotions is something that should be practiced and cultivated in your daily interactions.

3. Effective communication

Communication is a fundamental aspect of your professional life. There are numerous factors that can cause discomfort, and a lack of consistent communication is often a primary contributor.

The practice of consistent communication

Consistent communication entails aligning verbal and non-verbal communication with one's inner feelings. In consistent communication, the self, the other person, and the situation all receive due attention and respect.

This model of human speech demonstrates an inner awareness, with expressions and speech aligned, inner harmony and balance, and a relatively high sense of self-worth.

Practice consistent communication.

The following sentence patterns are commonly used in consistent communication exercises and expressions. After a period of time, you can truly communicate in a consistent manner. The specific sentence patterns are as follows:

When...

Describe the situation in a factual manner, without making any accusations or expressing any emotions.

"My feelings are..."

It is important to clearly express your feelings and emotions in the moment.

It is my hope that...

It is important to clearly express what you want the other person to do, specifically state your needs, and make it a quantifiable, executable, and visible expectation.

I am of the opinion that...

Please describe your expectations regarding the positive outcome.

When you communicate with the salesperson in a consistent manner, expressing your feelings, actions, and words in a consistent manner, the other person will receive the same message as you do, and any misunderstanding will be resolved. At that point, you will no longer feel aggrieved.

After reviewing your question, I believe you are a highly studious individual who is consistently self-reflective. I hope we can all expand our knowledge, reflect on our own actions, and strive for personal growth. With dedication and commitment, we can become the individuals we aspire to be.

I would like to extend my best wishes to the questioner for happiness and joy.