What kind of things should not be taken too seriously, and what kind of things are considered trivial?

Good day, dear questioner.

My name is Kelly, and I understand your question is not about a specific standard answer. I believe the psychologist's advice to let go of your concerns is to not take them too seriously and not dwell on them. This approach could potentially help you gain freedom and ease.

Discipline is not inherently negative, and it is not inherently problematic. If one makes some distinctions, masters some methods, and becomes more aware of oneself, one can certainly give it a try.

If I may, I would like to give you an example.

I have a friend who has insomnia problems. She is very strict with herself, taking a certain amount of health supplements every day, going to bed after 9 pm, and worrying about not being able to sleep and thinking about insomnia every day.

As a result, she has experienced insomnia for many years, and sleeping pills have become a regular part of her routine.

I recall that I have experienced periods of insomnia as well. When I am unable to sleep, I inquire of myself, "What might be the cause of my inability to sleep tonight?"

I reflected on the events of the day and realized that I had consumed coffee, which might not be the best choice for me. I decided that I would avoid it next time.

I have come to recognize the root cause of my insomnia and have learned to manage it in a way that is no longer distressing. I have also come to understand that forcing myself to sleep is not a productive approach.

When I'm feeling stressed and unable to sleep, I often find comfort in reading a book. I go to bed when it's late at night, and I try to respect my body's natural rhythm. I've learned not to take insomnia too seriously. When I can't sleep, I allow myself to experience it, accept it, and even see it as a gift that gives me something to think about.

[Regarding meticulousness]

I also have a good friend who is very meticulous. I admire her attention to detail at work; she will read and re-read emails to clients over and over again, ensuring accuracy and precision.

Subsequently, she also introduced a similar approach to her personal life and relationships with friends. For instance, when we went on a trip, she would be particularly attentive to details such as what to eat for lunch, whether we needed to make a reservation, and the quality of the food at that restaurant.

She often conveys a sense of anxiety and rigour. When I communicated with her, I realised that travelling can actually be a very relaxing thing. She tends to think about what to eat from morning to noon, makes restaurant reservations, and then thinks about what to eat in the afternoon and evening, makes restaurant reservations again. It's supposed to be relaxing, but she's always worrying about what to eat. Originally, we were supposed to spend time relaxing together, but even if she sees a roadside stand at noon and wants to try some local food, that's fine. Or if we're not hungry at noon, we can just keep travelling. We can find a noodle restaurant when we get hungry. It's just as fun.

Later, I learned that my good friend had always been used to this pattern and that she hadn't been reminded otherwise. After we talked about this, my good friend said that perhaps there was also anxiety behind her rigour.

1: I believe that the rigor with which she works is something that could be viewed as valuable and something that could be learned from.

2: Life is not solely about work. It can also be about enjoying a more casual, carefree, and relaxed approach.

3: It would be beneficial for her to be aware of herself, and to classify the things that require rigor.

4: It would be beneficial to understand rigor correctly. Rigor is not inherently negative, and it can also bring many advantages.

5: It could be said that working habits, such as those of doctors, require a certain level of rigour. However, doctors are also able to relax after work and learn to relax.

6: It might be helpful to try meditation exercises and yoga.

[Some suggestions for the questioner]

It might be helpful for the questioner to keep a "rigor diary," in which they can write down things before doing them for 15 consecutive days. This could help them see which things require rigor and which don't, and continue to be rigorous about the things that do and learn not to be rigorous about the things that don't.

I have also provided some examples and details above for the questioner's reference, in the hope that they may be of some assistance.

My name is Kelly.

I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to send a quick note to express my love and appreciation for the world around me.

I must say, I admire the seriousness of the questioner.

A meticulous person is usually very thorough in their work, can withstand scrutiny, is unlikely to make mistakes, and is likely to win the respect of others.

I once made a conscious effort to embody a more serious demeanor.

I came to understand that being overly strict and being strict about everything requires a great deal of effort. It is therefore important to exercise restraint in this regard.

This is generally how I allocate my rigor.

One might suggest that it is helpful to distinguish between things that are important and things that are unimportant.

For important things, it would be advisable not to let anything slip and to maintain a high level of rigour.

It might be helpful to take things less seriously than you do now, and to be a little more lenient with yourself.

It is important to pay attention to the occasion.

How strict you are in any given situation depends on a number of factors. While strictness can be a valuable quality in certain contexts, it may not be the most effective approach in all situations. At work, for instance, a more structured and disciplined approach may be necessary and appreciated. In family life, however, a more relaxed and flexible approach might be more suitable. Additionally, it's important to note that when interacting with close individuals, a more informal and accommodating style might be more appropriate.

I would like to suggest three conditions for maturity.

For tasks you are just beginning, it is often best to simply get started without overthinking every detail. Once you have completed the initial steps, you can then focus on making improvements, as human cognition naturally progresses through stages. As you work, you can continue to enhance your approach.

Being meticulous is a commendable character trait and a habit that can be challenging to change once it is formed. It is also important to consider the circumstances and the level of importance of the task at hand. While being meticulous in everything is admirable, it can also be quite tiring.

Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to relax and allow your natural instincts to guide you in determining whether or not to be rigorous.

Hello. I think you're struggling with being meticulous about everything.

The second is "what should be rigorous and what doesn't need to be too meticulous." They're two sides of the same coin.

Let me explain.

Rigorousness is a good quality.

Rigorousness is how you do things. From your description, I get the feeling that you are detail-oriented and thorough. This is a good personal quality. I don't know if you are a student or already working. If you are a student, you will get high marks in your studies. If you are working, you are suited to detailed work.

It will be great.

Everything in moderation.

You worry about when to be rigorous and when not to be. Being rigorous in everything is hard. From your brief introduction, I can't tell which aspect of being rigorous makes you feel uncomfortable. Being rigorous in your studies means a low error rate in exams. Being rigorous at work can also be tiring, but it is necessary. But when it comes to life, if you are also rigorous about unnecessary little things, it is a bit forced.

It would be tiring. I don't know if this is the problem.

To be moderately rigorous, you have to prioritize.

I'll introduce you to the "four quadrants of time" method, also called the "priority matrix" method. This method categorizes things into four quadrants: urgent and important, urgent but not important, not urgent but important, and not urgent and not important.

Many people sort and prioritize like this: first important and urgent, then important but not urgent, then urgent but not important. This helps you not get caught up in every little thing and not get worked up and exhausted.

The counselor told you to "put this problem aside, and it will get better in time." He meant to put off things that aren't important or urgent.

Don't take it too seriously. Study it using the four-quadrant method. Pay attention to the important details. Details determine success or failure, so be clear. If it's not important, focus on the big things and let go of the small things.

I can't help you with targeted analysis because I don't know the details of your situation. I can only give you broad advice.

Your hard work will pay off, so don't worry. Good luck!

Hello, question asker!

When I read your question, it instantly brought to mind a similar one:

My teacher says, "Just let things take their natural course," and I'm excited to figure out how to do that! Is it natural to do something, or not to do something?

In a relationship, is it natural to accept or not accept?

It's actually pretty challenging to define, isn't it?

Sometimes our nervousness and caution may come from worries about the consequences: what consequences will we have to bear if we are not so strict? But we can absolutely afford to bear such consequences! We just have to be willing to pay the price.

On second thought, there may not be any serious consequences to bear! And if there are, I can handle them. I may find it hard to bear these consequences, but it seems that other people don't take similar situations seriously.

I don't know if you've noticed, but it's so exciting how the process of not being entangled seems to be a process of letting yourself go!

And the best part is, the more you can let yourself go, the stronger you can become! The stronger you are, the less you will be entangled.

Okay, let's do this! Start with the little things. When you want to dwell on a trivial matter, tell yourself, "Just let it go! The worst that can happen is..."

Once you successfully break free from the emotions of being entangled, you'll be amazed at how much more relaxed and at ease you can feel than when you were stressed. And the best part is, you can do it more than once, twice, or even more!

I can't wait to see you worry less!

And the above!

I am an answerer who is working hard with you and I am excited to help!

The world and I love you!

Good morning, my name is Huang Xiaolu.

I appreciate your trust in me to answer this question.

First, let's examine the specific issues the original poster is facing and the desired outcome. To facilitate a constructive solution, it's essential to understand the objective.

1. When should a rigorous approach be employed, and when should it be avoided?

2. Do you find it challenging to maintain a meticulous approach to everything?

3. What matters should be taken with a grain of salt, and what matters are considered inconsequential?

The first and third questions may appear similar, but they are, in fact, distinct. The first question concerns one's approach and attitude toward various matters. As these are subjective, there is no single, objective answer. The third question, however, is an objective analysis of the nature of the matters in question. By setting aside personal emotions and feelings, there may be an answer that is universally accepted.

At Yixinli, we prioritize addressing psychological distress. I believe the original poster has the capacity to learn to distinguish between serious and trivial matters through technical functions. Serious matters are those that have a significant impact on oneself and important people or things around oneself, while trivial matters are less important and have a minimal impact. This is supported by theoretical research in sociology and management.

The host is encouraged to review the pertinent information.

The original poster's primary concern seems to be the emotional state of being stuck, troubled, uncomfortable, conflicted, and anxious. These emotions, along with the lack of relief from them, have led to a sense of being at a loss for how to address the problem, caught between the desire for rigour and discomfort. This issue appears to be more about an inability to accept one's own rigorous habits than about a lack of understanding of where to apply more rigour.

Discipline itself is never an issue. Some individuals are meticulous and cautious in their lives, paying close attention to details, but they accept their own discipline. Although it requires more time and energy and makes them more tired, it is the foundation for their success and achievements. This is the behavior they accept. They believe that they gain something by being disciplined, and they value this gain.

While being meticulous is not a problem in itself, the ability to be meticulous is a different matter. If we want to take care of every detail when doing things, we need to exercise this meticulous ability. If we fail to do so in practice, this mismatch between realistic expectations and abilities will make us increasingly frustrated, even inferior, or doubt whether being meticulous is really the right approach.

It is also important to consider the underlying motivations for pursuing meticulousness. Is it a genuine personal preference, or is it driven by external factors, such as the need to align with societal expectations?

Regardless of the circumstances, recognizing this reason allows one to become a meticulous person in a calm and methodical manner. There is no inherent problem with being meticulous about everything.

Ultimately, the decision is yours. In the workplace, it is beneficial to be more rigorous. There are many ways to gradually improve oneself. It is advisable to be more rigorous in personal matters, as you are important and deserve to be taken seriously. For matters that are not of personal importance, such as strangers, classmates you are not familiar with, or other people's grades, there is no need for such rigour.

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