What should I do about the endless competition with a woman that makes me feel entangled?

It is a challenging experience to be involved with someone in this way for so many years. Many people will see a woman who has influenced another married man to cheat and exchange insults with the wife of her partner on the radio. I attempted to view the situation from the perspective of the questioner and observed the side of the subject that has been held hostage by something for many years and is unable to control itself. On the other side of the story, the protagonist seems to be trapped in a pattern and unable to escape. Repeatedly, he has relinquished the power to control his own life and has consistently perceived himself as a dominant figure in the narrative.

I will take stock here of the protagonist's gradually lost self, as well as the uncontrollable and controllable aspects of the incident.

It is not possible to control the actions of the man in question.

It is important to note that there is an influential figure between the two individuals involved in the conflict. This individual serves as a catalyst for the two parties to interact and for the emergence of the conflict. Initially, the core issue was that a woman suspected her husband and his partner were threatening their relationship. However, it became evident that they had not effectively managed the conflict within their family. Consequently, the man's inability to handle the marital relationship had led to his partner's distress. It is essential to recognize that the manner in which this man behaves is not within our purview. The way he handles family relationships is beyond our control.

The man is a controllable entity.

It is not possible to control the relationships between other people's family members. However, this man is part of your interpersonal relationships. You can allow this man to resolve issues and place the responsibility on him. If he is unable to handle the situation effectively, he will be held accountable. As long as you do not become personally involved, you will not be held liable. This is something you can control.

The aforementioned woman is uncontrollable.

It is not possible to control the behaviour of other people. Regardless of whether she slanders, abuses or insinuates, it is her behaviour and therefore beyond our control.

The aforementioned individual is within our control.

If you remain unaffected by her words and actions, she will be unable to continue the verbal abuse. In fact, she is limited to online attacks and cannot inflict significant harm. Had we not followed her lead when she provoked you, you would not have been entangled for so long. How you respond to her mental provocation is within your control.

? Yourself

It is inevitable that you will encounter individuals who hold negative sentiments towards you. The extent to which others are cordial towards you is beyond your control. While you cannot dictate whether someone harbours suspicions about your role in damaging their family, you can influence whether such suspicions become a reality.

Whether or not you respond in kind when someone stirs up emotions is something you can control. Upon reflection, you will see that you have been following the rhythm set by others in a state of loss of control. She attacked you, so you hit back; she suspected you of destroying the family, so you confirmed it. In the process, you missed many opportunities to take control of the situation.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are confronted by another individual, it is important to consider your response. While it is natural to want to defend yourself, it is essential to ensure that your response is appropriate and constructive.

A response that is intended to be malicious in nature to a comment that is similarly malicious is also, in itself, a form of malicious communication.

Hello, I can see you're anxious. You've blocked her, but this has affected your sleep. It's okay to feel okay, but your mind is still reminding you that this is a problem.

You should be an independent, tolerant person who knows how to assess the situation. Think about why you've retreated three steps back and she still won't let up. She still sees you as a threat. Even though you've let go, she is still hurt.

She's been cursing you on Weibo for three years. She's sensitive, strong, and unwilling to admit defeat. You've threatened her position and interests, so she's fighting back.

Women are jealous. When someone is better than you, people around you are often more jealous than strangers. You have defined yourself as her rival. He is also her partner's colleague, so you are good. She has seen your excellence. Jealousy is inevitable. Her arrogance shows contempt and fear. Stay away from her husband. This arouses your jealousy. You want to compare with her.

We made a mistake when we were jealous and made the wrong decision.

After the incident, you must have regretted your decision and felt guilty. You didn't continue, but chose to withdraw. But you didn't expect the other person to denigrate you so much. You chose to fight back, wanting to defend your rights, but you made the other person even angrier.

You feel your actions were not worthwhile. You acted on impulse and are now in this situation. The other person won't let go, and you feel powerless. You want to forget it all and pretend it never happened. Get a good night's sleep and forget it was ever a problem.

It will pass. Nothing is impossible. Talking about it is a good start. You are letting go and embracing a new life. You don't care about her anymore. She keeps pestering you, but it's her problem. Your indifference is the greatest contempt you can show her. She can't get over it, but she is suffering more than you are.

Do what you like, try new things, move to a new city, or take a trip. This will help you feel better.

If this helps, like it!

A relationship is built on mutual attraction!

It's great that you're so calm and don't have a strong emotional reaction to her spying on you and scolding you. However, it seems that you have always been able to exude a "scent" that "attracts" her to attack you, which is pretty impressive!

She sees you as a rival, and you can ignore her. But you can't stand her, and you're taking revenge and proving something by successfully making her husband cheat on her!

It's a mystery!

Oh, the possibilities! Did she see you as a nuisance first? Or did you give off hostility towards her first?

There are so many ways to avoid someone on the internet! One way is to block them. But if they know your account name, they can find you using another account. So, it's important to be careful!

Have you tried anything else to try to prevent this? For example, have you changed your account name?

Or, you could even try to hide yourself!

You seem to still be standing in a place where she can find you at any time, and let her find you again and again.

Recently, sleep has also been affected, but the good news is that emotions have not changed much. Many feelings have been suppressed to the subconscious, which means there's plenty of room for positive changes to come!

These feelings make you uneasy and anxious, and you can't ignore them anymore — but you're excited to find out why!

So, it would be really great to explore from within what the driving force behind the things I did and said was!

I'd really love to know why I can't stand her!

Oh my goodness, why did I let her husband cheat on her?

Oh, why did I argue with her?

Oh my goodness, why do I care about her existence?

Oh my goodness, why did I want to be found by her on Weibo?

What do these things have to do with me?

I'm excited to find out what psychological needs were satisfied by these results!

I really hope this is helpful!

A married woman three years my senior has always seen me as a rival in love. Her husband and I were once business partners, and I couldn't stand her arrogant manner, so I successfully made her husband cheat on her. As a result, this woman has been calling me names on Weibo for three years. Most of the time I choose to ignore it, but recently I occasionally read what she posts and feel that not responding is too weak. So I draw cartoons to mock her for having poor fashion sense and no ability to manage a marriage. After she found out, she was furious and exposed me, but only on the internet.

We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, but we've never met and don't know each other. I find this kind of Twitter spat endless and quite annoying. I feel like I'm being watched all the time. She can't turn over a new leaf, so I blocked her. But she continues to spy on me using a fake account, and I feel like my tweets are all sarcastic innuendoes about her. Right now, I'm okay, but this incident has affected my sleep.

I'm really not sure how to handle this.

Hello, host, I can really feel your pain and conflict from your description. I have the following suggestions, which I really hope will help.

First and foremost, it's really important to try to avoid getting into a hostile situation.

In the host's description, it seems like the other person sees you as a love rival and can't stand her conceited manner. This led to the unfortunate situation where she made her husband cheat on her.

I'm not sure. It seems like the other person sees you as a rival in love. What exactly did they do that made you feel uncomfortable? It might help to talk to them directly about how you feel.

I'm just wondering, since her husband is a partner, would it be good for business to have a confrontation with the partner's wife?

I'm just wondering, looking back, did you just want revenge by making her husband cheat on you? I'm asking because I'm genuinely curious. Did you really win by making the other person lose, even if it meant risking your own marriage?

I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. I know this is a tough situation, but I'm here to support you. I'm wondering if you're happy with the way things are going? Do you think she's really that important?

When something like this happens, I'd love to know if your current husband defends you or protects you.

I'd love to know what you want!

Secondly, it's really important to have a sense of proportion and boundaries in your interactions with others.

The host is really struggling to cope with the other person attacking them when they're in a hostile confrontation with them. It's so hard when their rights and interests are infringed upon, and when their husband is cheating on them.

At the beginning of the host's hostile confrontation, he should have realized that it would never end. We're all human, and so is the other person. If you deliberately damage someone's feelings, they will not let it go and will definitely make a big deal out of it.

If the landlord encounters people in the future who they can't fully connect with, they can maintain a reasonable physical distance, respect each other's differences in opinion, focus on objective matters, maintain appropriate interpersonal boundaries, find a way that is good for everyone and a win-win situation, and they won't have to get themselves involved in such complicated and conflicting events.

And finally, accept yourself!

The landlord must accept that he's just an ordinary person who will make mistakes. It's okay! We all do. He just needs to admit his mistakes and take responsibility for them. After all, we're all human.

We all make mistakes! The important thing is to learn from them and try to do better next time. If you make a mistake, accept criticism and correction with an open mind and heart.

It's true that you've hurt the other person, and it's also true that they've hurt you back with their words.

Fourth, try to control your desire to attack.

It's so easy to get caught up in attacking the other person in our actions, thoughts, and words. But the truth is, we can't control how they act or think. What we can do is take control of ourselves, embrace change, and accept the reality of the situation.

Take a moment to think about whether this is also the case in your daily life. If someone thinks differently than you, try to accept it. If the other person likes a different kind of clothing than you, allow it. If the other person does things differently than you, try to understand it.

Fifth, it's really important to identify your emotions.

The host has experienced such a negative event, and I'm sure there are a lot of emotions that have been suppressed.

Take a moment to think about what those emotions are: aggrieved, sad, upset, angry, sad, painful, and regretful.

It's totally normal to have these emotions! Let them flow through you and don't live your life as a fighter. It's exhausting, right?

The host sees your vulnerability and hopes that you can see your own shortcomings from past experiences and face life more maturely, rationally, and wisely. They're rooting for you!

Hello! It seems like you're going through a tough time right now. It's totally normal to feel upset, angry, tired, and stuck in a difficult situation. You've taken the first step by reaching out to us and sharing your concerns. It's great that you're open to finding a solution!

I can tell you're feeling a bit anxious, and I'm here to help. I've read your description and I'm ready to listen.

I really felt for you and wanted to help, so I read your description very carefully, which made me think I needed to ask you a few questions.

l You said that you've never met her and don't interact with her much. You also said that you don't care for her confident style. How did you come up with the idea of her "confident style"?

l You said that you've never met her and don't interact with her much. You also said that you don't care for her confident demeanor. How did you come up with the idea of "conceited manner"?

l You said, "A woman three years older than me has always seen me as a rival," and you mean since you met her husband?

You mentioned that she's been cursing you on Weibo for three years, often losing her temper and continuing to monitor you on a smaller scale. It seems like she might be upset about your tweets, but how can you be sure that the Weibo account is hers? What makes you think she thinks your tweets are attacking her?

It's totally understandable to have some negative feelings towards this woman, or to feel like you need to take action to deal with her unreasonable behavior. We've all been there! Your specific approach is as follows:

It seems like you have some negative feelings towards this woman, or maybe you just think you need to take some action to deal with her unreasonable behavior. Whatever the case may be, your specific approach is as follows:

I can see why you might think she's conceited. It's a shame you had sex with her husband.

I think she may be feeling insulted by her tweets, and she might be trying to prove to herself that she's strong by insulting her back. It's possible that she's using caricatures to satirize her shortcomings.

I think she's realized that she's created this caricature of herself and is now constantly bugging herself in different ways.

I can help you explain your behavior using cognitive theory. It's totally normal to have beliefs or perceptions that lead to various subsequent behaviors. It's like you're reacting to your own psychological state with your actions, feeling attacked and lashing back.

I can help you explain your behavior using cognitive theory. It's totally normal to have beliefs or perceptions that lead to subsequent behaviors. It's like you're reacting to your own psychological state with your actions, feeling attacked and lashing back.

I just want to check in with you. If we assume that you don't have all those negative perceptions of this woman, would you still behave in the way you did afterwards? Would you still have this nagging, never-ending conflict in your mind?

It might be helpful to think about whether she has been hating you, attacking you, and hurting you, or whether you have set her up as such a character in your heart.

Let's chat about finding true love!

There are so many ways to show love for someone. If you deeply love someone but can't have them, and keep it all inside, you're using a defense mechanism to protect yourself from psychological imbalance. This is called "repression."

Suppression can be a helpful way to escape from a problem we're facing, but it can also hide the problem on the surface. If we keep it up for too long, it can lead to a lot of negative emotions and physical reactions.

Suppression can be a helpful way to escape from a problem we're facing, but it can also hide the problem on the surface. If we keep it up for too long, it can lead to a lot of negative emotions and physical reactions.

It's so important to be honest with yourself. Are you willing to have sex with a man, and in addition to your admiration for him, there is also an "aggressiveness" towards his lover? It's natural to want to plunder, but it's also important to have a reasonable explanation for your actions.

If you're open to having sex with a man, it's likely that you also feel a certain level of "aggressiveness" towards his lover. It's natural to want to take what you want, but it's also important to have a reasonable explanation for your actions.

This style of interpretation is just a reaction that you project onto others from within yourself, sweetheart.

I'm just wondering, does she really know about the infidelity between you? Or is it because of the infidelity itself that you feel guilty and cannot calm your mind, unable to escape from it?

If you love him, you did it, you did it, it's over, it's you who should let it go, and it's you who should let it go. I know it's tough, but you'll get through this.

If you don't love him and you're just using sex as a way to vent your dissatisfaction with a woman, I really want you to stop your irrational behavior, examine your heart, see what you really need, and find true love that suits you.

Please, don't be so hard on yourself. You don't have to compete with an "imaginary opponent" to the end. Just love yourself a little more every day, make progress a little bit every day, and tell yourself every day that you are wonderful, you are good, you love the world, and the world loves you too.

Thank you for taking the time to provide a detailed account of the situation. From your description, I can discern a certain degree of inner conceit, boredom, and irritability.

Due to her inability to tolerate her partner's wife's perceived arrogance, she was ultimately successful in initiating a separation from her husband.

For this reason, there has been a long-standing pattern of discord between you and your partner's wife, characterized by insults and slander.

Now, you perceive the other person to be persistently and unrelentingly pestering you, and you are unable to let it go. The sensation of being observed by others causes you significant distress and disrupts your ability to sleep. You are uncertain about how to regulate your emotions.

Narcissism can cause difficulties in professional settings.

It would be beneficial to take a moment to reflect on your true thoughts when you chose to retaliate. It is possible that your feelings of inferiority were triggered by the other person's actions.

It is possible that her arrogance was the catalyst for your feelings of inferiority and narcissistic injury.

For an extended period, the individual exhibiting the greatest degree of conceit is, in fact, oneself. This behavior is often employed as a means of concealing one's own inner deficiencies.

When you perceive that the other party's attitude exceeds your own, their actions have a detrimental impact on your self-esteem and instigate feelings of inferiority.

This sentiment is challenging to navigate, prompting the use of tactics to discredit and diminish the other party, while simultaneously defending one's own narcissistic tendencies.

Perhaps the most honest thought in your heart is this: "How can you be more conceited than me?" This makes me so unhappy that I must outdo you.

In my view, when you ask your partner to cheat on his wife, you feel satisfied, superior, and pleased.

Who is really responsible for the current situation?

Due to a personal incompatibility with your partner's wife, you were able to successfully influence your partner to engage in infidelity.

Have you ever considered whether your response is appropriate? Is the individual in question at fault? Should they be held accountable?

Is this an appropriate course of action?

It would be beneficial to ascertain who instigated this situation. Would this have occurred had you not been preoccupied with another individual's spouse?

In the event that the other party swears on Weibo, it would be prudent to ignore it. What would be the result?

Furthermore, there is no evidence that the other party is cursing you in their tweets. It is therefore unclear whether they are slandering you.

Or perhaps you felt that you were at fault and were afraid that someone was targeting you. In that case, you chose to fight back.

From the outset, the other party has not taken the initiative to engage with you. You have been the primary initiator of activity.

It is therefore necessary to determine whether it is the other party who is persisting in their demands or whether you are the one who is doing so.

When you make a change, the way you see the world will change.

When you take the initiative to disengage from this situation, refrain from competing with the other party, and cease monitoring their Weibo updates, you may find that your state of mind becomes more tranquil. This could potentially lead to a resolution to your insomnia.

When you take the time to objectively assess the situation, acknowledge your true self, and recognize your vulnerability, you can begin to accept things as they are.

Perhaps only then will you be able to gain a deeper understanding of others, reconcile with the world, and achieve a state of inner peace and clarity, allowing you to enjoy the present and interact with others more effectively, thereby improving your quality of sleep.

Best regards,

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

I see you've been through a lot, so I wanted to give you a hug. I know a lot of people are focused on the fact that you made this woman's husband cheat on her, but I see it differently. It seems like this woman saw you as an imaginary enemy and went looking for a fight. When she attacked you, your response was just to set boundaries and show her your limits.

Distrust and suspicion between husband and wife are a big no-no in a marriage. It's pretty much a given that a marriage where there's distrust and suspicion is never going to be happy. And yet, these couples attack others as if they were imaginary enemies, without even realizing the harm their actions are causing their marriage. Who can stand this?

The other person blames their unhappiness in their marriage on others, always feeling that others are ruining their happiness. Why is this woman so insecure? The biggest problem may come from her or her husband. What happened in their marriage before, causing her to become so suspicious, or is it that her own concept of relationships is that there is no sense of trust?

This whole situation has been keeping me up at night. I'm not sure how to handle it.

It's tough to reason with someone when they're in a confrontational mood.

It seems like the other person has been attacking you as if you were an imaginary enemy. The question owner tried to fight back in some way, but didn't expect the other person to harass and slander them for three years. I don't think many people can stand this kind of bullying.

From what I've read, the more the questioner responds, the more the other person becomes agitated. It seems like she's just trying to provoke a fight so that she can vent all her emotions on you. For someone who's so unreasonable, the only way to let go of this matter slowly is to ignore her completely.

You can temporarily suspend your Weibo account, or if you haven't posted anything important, you can choose to log out and then log back in again. This way, the other person won't be able to find you. Stopping the attacks is not a sign of defeat; it's just a way to give yourself some peace and quiet.

Take a step back and think about what you've done.

Even though she's unfriendly towards her, the questioner still goes to read what she posts. I haven't played Weibo for a long time, but I also know that you need to click into someone's homepage to see it. What made the questioner want to see what she posted?

The way the questioner is acting with the other person reminds me of two kids. You hit me once, I hit you once, neither of us wants to lose out, neither of us wants to admit defeat, but in the end it's the two of us attacking each other who get hurt.

So why are you so invested in this person? The fact that you're asking this question shows that you're not as calm as you say you are. It seems like you enjoy watching her get exasperated. It's possible that you're also being influenced by her emotions. Maybe it would be helpful to take a step back and think about why you're acting the way you are.

How did you two, who've never met or interacted with each other, become enemies? It's because of one person in your midst: her husband, your former business partner. He's suffered from the malicious behavior of the wife of his business partner. How did the other party deal with it? The questioner should make his attitude clear to his business partner and ask the other party to stop such behavior. Otherwise, he'll fight back through legal channels.

Be aware of your emotions and let them go.

The questioner said that this matter affected his sleep, which shows that this matter still concerns you. You're angry that you were treated like this for no reason, but you can't find a solution to deal with this person. You're angry and helpless.

Since you know what you're feeling, you need to focus on those emotions. Here are some ways to relieve stress:

1. Exercise: You can go to the gym to run, do some equipment, and let yourself sweat. It's a great way to release stress and feel more relaxed. Plus, exercise produces dopamine, which is a natural mood booster.

2. Go for a walk: When you're in a bad mood, head outside and enjoy the flowers and trees. Breathe in the fresh air, let the stale air out of your body, and breathe in more fresh air. It's a great way to feel better.

3. Singing: You can invite a few friends to go to a karaoke bar and belt out your favorite tunes. Singing your heart out and reminiscing about the past is a great way to relieve stress.

4. Meditation: Try meditating before getting up and before going to bed. Just lie down, relax your whole body, listen quietly to music and guided words, and slowly let yourself enter the realm of meditation. If you do this regularly, it can help you cultivate your character and improve the quality of your sleep.

I hope this helps the questioner. Best regards.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm as modest and self-effacing as ever.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider why we are competing and whether there is still a point to it.

Given that you and the other man's husband are business partners, perhaps it would be best to avoid discussing business for the time being. The other person is quite arrogant and self-important, enjoying the benefits provided by her husband's resources. As a woman, I believe you may view this way of life with a degree of disdain, which could make the other person's posturing seem a bit excessive to you.

For this reason, you began to educate the other party in your own way and with your own methods. By making the other husband cheat, you hoped to make this conceited person come to his senses. Up to this point, we have not felt that there is anything wrong with this matter. Not only has it not let things go over time, but it has instead affected our hearts.

It's becoming increasingly clear that this is not a productive avenue for us to pursue. So, what do we want from this? What is the point of us continuing to enter this battle on Weibo with our hearts and minds?

Perhaps it would be best to simply let go of what we don't want, as continuing to pursue it is a waste of time and energy.

It is not possible to applaud with one hand.

In any conflict, there is no clear victor once the fighting has ceased. This ongoing verbal exchange has reached a point where it is time to bring it to a close. Regardless of how challenging it may be to do so, it is necessary to acknowledge that it has reached its natural conclusion. We should take a moment to reflect and consider the wisdom of mature wheat plants, which know when it is time to bow their heads.

Perhaps it would be beneficial for us to stop paying attention to the other party and to stop playing the competitive game with them. It is possible that the other party can protect their family through constant denigration and assertions of sovereignty, but for us, it seems that we have not gained anything substantial. We will not engage in something that is pointless and has no direction. After all, we are a smart person ourselves.

Perhaps it would be best to let the past go and focus on the future. We could put our abilities to better use by doing more meaningful things and making our lives more worthwhile. This would be a more responsible way of living.

Hello, thank you so much for trusting me with your question. Before we get into it, if you're comfortable with it, I'd love to give you a big hug and offer you some support!

From what you've told me, it's clear you're facing a tough situation. The experience you described and the various emotional challenges caused by this person's inappropriate behavior, as well as your mentioning that it's affecting your sleep, show that you're looking for ways to cope better.

I don't know if you've heard of this psychological theory proposed by American psychologist Ellis. It's actually pretty simple! It's called the ABC theory, also known as rational emotive therapy.

It's important to remember that our emotions and bad behaviors aren't caused by a single event. They're shaped by how we interpret and evaluate those events.

Ellis, the founder of the ABC theory of emotions, says that it's our often irrational beliefs that cause us emotional distress. Over time, these irrational beliefs can also lead to emotional disorders.

The ABC theory of emotions is a great way to understand your feelings. It says that A is the thing that starts your emotions, B is what you believe about that thing, and C is what you do and feel as a result.

I know it can be tough, but in the situation you're facing, the other person's behavior is A. It's been going on for three years, so it might take some time for things to change. But you can do it! If you want to reduce the distress this causes you, you just need to make more adjustments. That means changing B, which will bring about C—a change in emotional feelings.

If you'd like, you can also seek the help of a psychologist to help you adjust better.

I just wanted to share my personal opinion with you, but please feel free to take it with a grain of salt. I hope you take care of yourself!

Dear Question Asker, Thank you for your inquiry. Best regards, [Name] [Title]

Thank you for your question. I will endeavor to provide you with advice in the limited space available. I hope to have an opportunity to speak with you further and to assist you in identifying additional possibilities when you feel exasperated.

It is challenging to provide comprehensive advice in a limited space. However, I hope to have an opportunity to discuss these issues further in my answer and to explore additional possibilities with you when you feel frustrated.

[Who is your primary competitor?

From the text, it can be seen that a married woman three years your senior, with whom you have no personal or professional overlap, has successfully captured the majority of your attention and invested three years of your life in an ongoing, contentious relationship. In light of this, it is worth considering why this woman has become a persistent source of emotional discomfort.

Is your objective simply to gain her approval? Have you set your sights on other individuals with similar goals?

It is possible that the source of your distress was planted during your childhood, possibly by your mother, sisters, or best friend. You are now directing your aggression toward this woman. Your actions, including ridicule, harm, and defeat, appear to be an attempt to fulfill a need for revenge, thereby proving your worthiness of love.

Forgiving others is also a form of self-forgiveness.

In our formative years at school, we were taught a fable about a river clam that became ensnared in the long beak of a crane. The crane held the clam in its beak, and the clam held the flesh of the crane in its beak. Neither would relinquish its hold, and eventually, a fisherman arrived and removed them both. Do you see parallels between this story and your own behaviour?

You have come to recognize that this behavior is immature, bothersome, and negatively impacting your sleep. Therefore, you have identified the need to regulate your actions. The most effective course of action is to disengage from this conflict with no clear victors and spare yourself the distress.

[Direct your energy towards what makes you happy]

You possess the qualities of an attractive individual, capable of attracting the opposite sex. You exude confidence in your appearance, and have a unique ability to express yourself through cartoons. Providing more information may allow us to identify additional strengths.

However, with so many good qualities, you are focusing your efforts in a way that is not optimal for your long-term happiness. The world is a vast and exciting place, so I encourage you to pay attention to the things that will make you happy!

Ultimately, it is my hope that the individual in question will cease to dwell on past events, release themselves from this fixation, and instead focus their efforts on pursuing happiness.

Good morning, my name is Vera, and I would like to discuss this matter with you.

Firstly, you are aware that this individual harbours suspicions about her husband and has successfully influenced him to cheat on her. Are you seeking retribution against her? Following the successful act of infidelity committed by her husband, he was affected by the other person's resistance.

Please clarify the objective of your actions against her. Have you achieved the desired outcome prior to initiating your revenge?

You have indicated that this matter has affected your sleep. Could you please elaborate on the specific ways in which it has impacted your sleep?

You have expressed a dislike for this woman, and have adopted a confrontational approach in your dealings with her. However, this approach has not resulted in a change in her behaviour. In fact, she has become even more aggressive towards you.

Please describe your current emotional state. If you were to return to the situation prior to your husband's infidelity, would you still pursue this course of action?

Two individuals with minimal overlap in their respective lives became adversaries due to a suspicion and a discrepancy in opinion. They engaged in a three-year-long verbal altercation. What was the outcome of this interaction?

It is important to recognise that everyone has their own way of living. What may be considered wrong by one person may be perfectly acceptable to another. It is therefore not appropriate to apply one's own rules of conduct to others.

For example, each individual has a unique living environment, personal perceptions, ways of thinking, and behaviors. Therefore, taking responsibility for one's own actions and refraining from interfering in the affairs of others is a crucial aspect of professional conduct.

I hope this information is useful to you. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Dear Questioner, Thank you for taking the time to provide a detailed account of the situation. From your statement, I can understand the challenges you are currently facing, including prolonged and hurtful interactions, a desire to halt them, and a lack of effective action.

I recognize that this situation is highly frustrating. I would like to share my perspective for your consideration.

Firstly, I am aware that you are a strong and independent woman. Despite the other party viewing you as a rival, it is clear that you do not have romantic feelings for her husband. Your decision to engage in sexual intercourse with him was solely to provoke that woman. You are not constrained by the role of a third party and have the ability to extricate yourself from the situation. I commend you for this, as it is not an easy thing to do.

I must also draw your attention to your selfishness. What does her ego have to do with you? If you are unable to tolerate the situation, you become angry and take it out on her husband. This is inappropriate and unprofessional. You do not love that husband, but your actions can make that husband think about you all the time and affect his family life!

Furthermore, you created a caricature to mock her, which is tantamount to stealing someone's husband and insulting them. This is excessive behavior.

It is understandable that the other person has been eyeing you with envy.

Therefore, compared to the other party, you, the questioner, are in a superior position. Furthermore, you were at fault initially. To resolve this issue, you must take the initiative. You have two options: either apologize sincerely to the other party to gain her understanding and cease annoying her; or cancel the existing communication methods she knows so that she cannot find you.

That concludes my remarks. I hope you will accept my apologies for any missteps. I wish you a speedy resolution to your difficulties and a life free of stress.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61, and I'm thrilled to be here with you today!

I'm so happy you've decided to talk to me about your psychological problems!

A closer look at your confession reveals the first boundary violation. It is not pleasant to be spied on by someone you have never met, and I totally get why you're irritated!

If you want to get out of the shadow of your troubles as soon as possible, I have some great advice for you!

First, identify the source of your troubles and draw a clear line!

I'm excited to share that the lack of boundaries manifests in two ways.

You said, "A married woman three years my senior has always seen me as a rival in love. Her husband and I were once business partners. I couldn't stand the way she carried herself, so I successfully made her husband cheat on her. As a result, she has been calling me names on Weibo for three years,"

Your business was originally unrelated to her romantic life and was none of your business. But you had a brilliant idea! You successfully made her husband cheat on her because you couldn't stand her conceited manner.

You interfered in other people's lives, which led to them seeking revenge. This is the first unclear boundary, and it's an exciting one!

The second unclear boundary is that you have not distinguished between your own affairs and other people's affairs. This is an easy fix! It's important to remember that whether someone is arrogant or not is a personal attitude towards life, and it is none of your business.

It's up to you whether you can accept it or not. Either way, your involvement will change the attitude of other people and lead to some exciting new adventures!

This is the source of your troubles, and you can overcome it!

2. Ways to Get Rid of Your Worries

1. Make sure you know the difference between your own affairs and other people's affairs!

I once heard someone say that there are only three things in the world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of the gods. I manage my own affairs, and I'm excited to do so! I couldn't care less about other people's affairs, and I'm not worried about the affairs of the gods.

The best way to stay out of trouble is to mind your own business!

2. Turn the page!

You've made a mistake, but you can fix it! Admit you're sorry, ask for forgiveness, and let it go. You'll feel better, and so will everyone else!

I really hope you can get rid of your troubles as soon as possible! These are the only references I can provide, but I'm sure you'll be able to find what you need.

Wishing you the very best!

Hello, dear question asker!

I'm sure many people have felt this way before.

It just means that you'll be a little upset with certain people, you can't stand the sight of them, and it'll make you want to destroy them, which is also an expression of aggression.

Some folks will take action, while others will try to resolve the situation on their own.

You said, "I couldn't stand her conceited manner, so I successfully made her husband cheat on her." At that time, I'm sure you were feeling pretty pleased with yourself!

I'm just wondering, did you feel like a victor at the time?

I'm really happy to share what I know with you for your reference.

1. Take some time to understand yourself better.

I just wanted to say kudos to you for having such introspection and awareness!

It's totally normal to feel the way you do, but I just wanted to check in about your sleep. I know this has been a tough time for you, and I'm here to help in any way I can.

I'd really love to know how to adjust.

Every little hiccup is a great chance for us to get to know ourselves better.

Sometimes we feel like we know ourselves, but we might be missing out on some things if we don't take a closer look.

I think this is also a kind of self-protection.

Have you ever thought about why you got caught up in this situation with this woman?

Originally, you were the one in the winning position. You're younger than her, probably wiser, and more attractive.

Oh my, why is there "endless Twitter shouting matches"?

Hey there! Do you know your current marital status?

I'm sure there are things we don't want to face, but we can do it together!

How can we ever truly judge something that happened in the past?

Sometimes, it might be that this person has touched an unmet need in you.

That's why we're in this tricky situation.

It's really quite simple, but it can make both people act a bit childish.

It's totally normal to feel this way. It's just that things are a little bit different than they usually are.

I'd love to know what emotions this event brings up for you.

I'd love to know what you'd like the other person to do.

What good would it do her if she did?

Take your time to figure out what you really need on the inside.

2. Letting her go is actually letting yourself go, my friend.

It might feel like she's always watching you, but I promise she's not!

But have you also been helping her out without even realizing it?

I think you know that in this competition, there is no winner.

I know you've always wanted to end it, sweetie.

But, bless her heart, the other person has no intention of ending it.

We really can't decide what the other person will do, but we can decide what we will do, don't you think?

It's time to say goodbye to the other person properly in your heart.

Let bygones be bygones, my friend.

Oh, bless her heart, she just keeps on nagging, poor thing. It's her way of torturing herself, I suppose.

When we try to let her go, we are actually letting ourselves go, my friend.

I think you have lots of ways to cope, but you're not quite ready yet.

When we dislike someone, it's often a reflection of our inner values.

This might be a bit different from what we learned in school, but that's okay!

For instance, if you feel that arrogance is a bad thing, you can show others through your actions that you have nothing to be arrogant about.

It's so important to remember that what the world really looks like has nothing to do with the world itself. It's all about what you choose to make of it!

Let's try to recreate the world we like together!

3. Remember, you have the key to your own happiness in your own hands!

We all get caught up in things sometimes, don't we?

It might be helpful to try to see what is happening between you and this woman from the perspective of a third person.

How are you feeling?

You've got the power to solve your problems! It all starts with you. How do you focus on living your own life?

For example, how can you focus on living your life to the fullest?

Have you ever wondered how to consciously ignore some distractions?

How can we go about re-evaluating what has happened?

Take care of yourself, sweetheart, and take responsibility for your life.

If you're interested, I'd highly recommend reading the book A Change of Heart.

I truly believe you will find your own answer.

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, landlord. I am Xing Ying, a one-mind listening therapist and national level-3 psychological counselor.

I can see it—you are tired and don't want to fight anymore.

From the initial dislike of each other to getting your husband to cheat on you out of revenge and then to the online feud, you are tired. You feel that your emotions are still under control, but they are affecting your sleep. You want to break free from the current entanglement and return to a peaceful life.

You feel a little lonely.

It's clear that in real life, there aren't many people who support, understand, or comfort you. Even if there are, they won't express it openly. It's obvious that third-party meddling is against public order and good morals.

I understand that this is not what you want.

I am certain that no one is born willing to take the place of a third party and be accused by others. This is not in line with human nature. I am sure you don't want it!

This is not what you want, is it?

Jealousy is to blame.

I want to know what caused things to develop to this point and made you do this. It wasn't because of sex or love. It was because of "jealousy" that caused it.

A married woman three years my senior has always seen me as a rival in love. Her husband and I were once business partners. I couldn't stand her conceited manner, so I successfully made her husband cheat on her.

Jealousy is a normal psychological reaction. We often compare ourselves to others and make self-assessments. When we see the advantages of others and feel bad about ourselves after the comparison, we become jealous.

Think about it. You can't stand her conceit. You feel like she's stealing the limelight from you in every situation, making you feel uncomfortable.

This jealousy has led you to develop hostility, resentment, and a desire to destroy the other person's advantages and bring them down.

[Jealousy makes you say to yourself, "I want to win her over."

Psychologically speaking, jealousy is an unpleasant emotion experienced when an individual realizes that someone else has something that they are trying to possess but lack. It is generally divided into two types: malicious jealousy and benign jealousy.

Malicious jealousy makes people act destructively and aggressively. You attacked her by destroying her family and making caricatures of her. This is a clear manifestation of malicious jealousy.

I used caricatures to mock her poor fashion sense and inability to manage the marriage.

These behaviors are all about proving that the other party is a "lesser" woman than you, even though there are also counterattacks in response to the other party.

If it were you, and your marriage was being destroyed, and you were constantly being "proved" to be incompetent, what would you do? I know I would do whatever it took to prove them wrong.

This woman has been calling me names on Weibo for three years, and I have chosen to ignore her.

She feels attacked and will fight back persistently. Is there also a sense of superiority that says, "I'm the victor, I don't need to bother with you?"

[You haven't really won. You haven't achieved the result you wanted.

You have successfully destroyed the other person's family out of jealousy. You have achieved your goal: "I have proved that I am not worse than you."

But you also paid a corresponding price – you became a moral loser. You are always on the losing side of the argument, and this has left a scar on your heart, hasn't it? When you think about it, you can't still believe that "I am better than her," can you?

[Change starts when you realize that there is no winner or loser, only two losers].

You're tired because you know this. The initial sense of victory is no longer enough to sustain you. When you let go of your aggressive mode, you express her objective assessment in your words, as well as your own annoyance:

We each have our own strengths and weaknesses, and we've never met or had any overlap. This kind of childish Twitter spat is endless and quite annoying.

When you feel this way, you are actually more objectively accepting of the differences between you and her, and there is no need to compare. This kind of attack is meaningless and extremely draining. You realize that it is a war that will only bring mutual harm, with no winners.

Malicious jealousy destroys not only others but also yourself. In recent years, you have attacked others and been hurt by your own malicious jealousy. You just can't accept defeat and swallow your pride. You need to stop.

What are you getting out of all this?

Transform the psychology of envy into benign envy.

Well-intentioned jealousy motivates individuals to achieve what they want through their own positive efforts and self-improvement, enhancing their self-evaluation. You can and should feel from the bottom of your heart that "I am really good" and feel a sense of self-satisfaction without having to compare yourself to others.

Your current behavior is an attack on the object of your jealousy. You are not taking good care of yourself, so this jealousy will not bring you improvement. Instead, as your jealousy deepens, you will become more and more involved, paying a higher and higher price, without actually growing. Is it worth it? I think not.

If you want to see a better you, you need to think about it from this perspective, talk to your inner self, accept your own evaluation of yourself, and improve the "real shortcomings" you recognize. You have to accept yourself objectively, accept it if you make a mistake, change it, don't resist, and accept it completely to find a starting point.

I want to be clear: I don't approve of your actions, but I understand your feelings. Other people's comments will make you feel uncomfortable, but they can't motivate you to change. You need to focus on yourself to find happiness and peace.

I want you to know that I love you, and I'm not afraid to say it.

I have to say, real life is often more bizarre than our novels. You are in an endless competition with a woman, and there is clearly a reason for the competition between you. At the beginning, what was the coincidence that brought the two of you together?

The other party is already married. He must feel uneasy or have a tendency to want to possess all his resources.

She also treats you as a rival in love, when you and her husband were merely business partners. As former business partners, there is absolutely no need for any other interactions in life. If you get involved carelessly, you will only bring yourself more and more trouble.

There may also be some angry emotions, as well as feelings of anger, or thoughts of wanting to get back at him. You also did something, for example, successfully making her husband cheat on her, which made her very, very angry. She felt that you definitely wanted to become her enemy.

The other person is still upset about this matter. It has been going on for three years, and they have been swearing at you in a software. If you don't respond, you'll be seen as weak and uninvolved.

But even if you respond in kind, there's no way out. The other party will still harass you.

The best course of action is to end the relationship and refrain from any further contact with her or her husband.

If she uses her trumpet to insult you, you must report her and block her account. This incident is a wake-up call for you.

I want to be clear: I'm not looking to make enemies easily. I'm looking to resolve conflicts.

If the other person wants revenge, it could be even worse.

You later mocked her poor fashion sense or lack of ability to manage the marriage. These comments could have easily escalated the situation and made it worse.

You're lucky you haven't met. Otherwise, there'd be physical conflict.

The other person is probably still spying on you. Use software to completely ignore her and people like her.

When you calm down, you need to think about whether there are things you can rethink because many things affect each other.

This matter is still relatively important to you because it has already affected your life. I strongly recommend that you talk to a psychological counselor.

You will learn how to deal with this matter more successfully in the future.

Come on!

ZQ?