What should I do if I cannot express my true thoughts in front of the counselor?

Hello, I can assure you that you did nothing wrong. In fact, I believe that the counselor's lack of technical skills was also a contributing factor. It was the result of a two-way collaborative effort. You were passive in going to counseling and didn't know why you were there, what to say, or what not to say. It's normal to feel overwhelmed.

The counselor himself has a bigger problem. He needs to guide you and tell you what counseling is and how to talk about it, not remain at an impasse the whole time.

You've described the problem, which is a great start.

I don't know exactly what happened to you that made you go for counseling, but I can tell you this: counseling is a way to express some of the things you're feeling inside. For example, you can tell the counselor, "I don't know why I'm here, and I don't know what to ask or what to say."

I want to know what psychological counseling can do for me.

You can describe any confusion you have, talk it through with the counselor, and sort it out.

When you don't know what to say and have no direction, counseling will help you determine your own direction.

When you feel depressed, tell the counselor, "I don't know why I have to suppress myself."

I will be angry, and I will express all my feelings and emotions. I will explore the process. This will make you clearer, help you understand yourself, and achieve your goals.

It is not uncommon to experience feelings of overwhelm when confronted with the prospect of engaging in a counseling session. These feelings may manifest as a lack of clarity regarding what to say, how to say it, a reluctance to speak up, uncertainty about whether to disclose certain issues, difficulty identifying a suitable starting point, and so on. When an individual is in a negative emotional state, the underlying cause may not be a single event but rather a series of cumulative experiences. This can make it challenging for them to know where to begin.

In advance of the subsequent session, it may be beneficial to engage in self-reflection and consider whether there have been any notable changes in one's recent studies or life circumstances, or whether one is currently experiencing a different emotional state, including feelings of emptiness. These indescribable feelings can be discussed with the counselor.

In the presence of the counselor, one may take a moment to collect oneself and then articulate the questions that arise. For instance, one might initially inquire about the nature of psychological counseling and the types of issues that can be addressed through this process. Additionally, one may seek to gain a fundamental understanding of psychology through the reception of popular scientific knowledge.

In the context of face-to-face communication with a counselor, there is no need for the client to feel pressured. The client's emotional state, including the coherence and organization of their verbal expression, the duration of their silence, and the intensity of their emotional response, is irrelevant. The counseling room is a space designed for the client to relax, and its purpose is to facilitate the release of emotional distress.

Seeking assistance and receiving aid is a service that the counselor in the counseling room is equipped to provide.

In the event that a client is concerned about their ability to articulate their concerns to the counselor in a clear and concise manner, it is recommended that they prepare a brief note in advance. Similarly, if a client is anxious about the potential disclosure of confidential information, they may wish to consider adding some text to their mobile phone and setting a password. During the counseling session, the client can then access their phone or notes and inform the counselor about their previous thoughts and concerns, thus facilitating the resolution of their issues.

Nevertheless, this approach is only recommended at the outset to provide initial assistance. As the consultation progresses and becomes more productive, it is advisable to gradually phase out these methods to prevent dependency and the inability to communicate effectively without them.

Hello, question asker!

You have a secret that has been weighing on you, affecting your emotions and your life. You're ready to take this opportunity to help yourself escape from the entanglement of that thing and gain a solution to your thoughts!

After the interview, you were introduced to the school's psychological counseling center. You were a little nervous at first, but it quickly disappeared as you were greeted by the friendly counselor. They welcomed you in and invited you to sit in a chair, and then began to ask you to tell your troubles.

You weren't prepared for this question, and for a moment you didn't know where to start, so you couldn't say anything clearly. Just as you were about to get to the point, you suddenly felt hesitant, worrying that the counselor would belittle the problem that was troubling you, or that you were being overly sensitive.

So you took the initiative and put yourself out there, temporarily reserving the vulnerable part of yourself, and only revealing it after you were sure that the counselor would not hurt you. This is a kind of psychological defense mechanism. You just want to wait for the counselor to show sincerity first, so you wait quietly. There is nothing wrong with your choice itself. The choice of psychological counseling is inherently a two-way process. It is the counselor's task to make the visitor willing to open up to them, and you are already doing that!

It's totally possible that the counselor's words and actions revealed some "anxious" and "coping" body language at the time. Or, it's possible that you were really just "rushing through the motions" out of a sense of urgency, just curious to find out more, and suddenly overwhelmed by the situation. You were eager to escape from the uncomfortable atmosphere, and you didn't have the mood or time to calm down and reflect on and explore your inner confusion.

In short, this experience is an amazing opportunity to communicate your true thoughts in front of a counselor. It's also a chance to see that not all counselors, nor every one of your counseling sessions, will be silent. This is a fantastic chance to gain understanding, take on a challenge, collect experiences, and make a brave attempt to solve internal problems!

Trust takes time to build up, and it's totally worth it! You'll gain a little trust after many good encounters. The best way to do it is to have many encounters, and then your heart will tell you the answer!

Wishing you the very best!

Good morning. I am a heart exploration coach. I understand your concern. It seems that you are having difficulty communicating your true thoughts in front of the counselor. What would be the best course of action?

After seeking counseling at the school, what was the initial question posed by the counselor? Initially, there were no limitations on what you could say, but you were unable to verbalize anything at that moment. The school counselor observed your silence and assumed you were simply in a bad mood, leading you to the counseling center. The counselor then directly inquired about your reason for seeking assistance.

You disclosed the truth, stating that following the interview (i.e., the psychological counseling center determined that you might require psychological counseling and was subsequently invited for an interview), the individuals from the counseling center requested your presence, and then there was a prolonged period of silence throughout the entire process. You initially believed that if you simply sought assistance, you would gradually improve, so after the interview, you courageously agreed to try it. However, you are currently uncertain about the best course of action.

I can see that you are in a very anxious state. You have your own expectations of counseling. You believe that if you seek help, you will gradually improve, so you want to muster the courage to give it a try.

However, when you arrive, you are unable to articulate your issue, and the two questions posed by the counselor leave you feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about how to respond. You are unsure of where to begin discussing your need for assistance. This may be due to your lack of familiarity with the setting and the unfamiliar counselor, which can cause you to feel uneasy.

You used the word "dare." Perhaps you are usually more cautious and sensitive. Without a sense of security, it is challenging to relax, focus on your own state, and speak freely. This is understandable. Many people who are consulting for the first time will not be able to open up and talk about their own affairs because they feel that the environment is not safe enough.

As the consultation progresses, a good and trusting relationship will gradually develop between the counselor and you. Once this relationship is established, you will feel relaxed. When you are relaxed, you can focus on what you want to say in the moment and talk freely about your thoughts and feelings.

Even if you feel somewhat constrained and embarrassed at the outset of your first counseling session, it does not necessarily follow that subsequent sessions cannot continue, that your expectations will not be met, that counseling is ineffective, or that your problems cannot be resolved.

The questioner may wish to view the psychological movie "Good Will Hunting." The protagonist initially displays a lack of trust, resistance, and rejection of psychological counseling. There are also instances of provocation and silence. Should your counselor demonstrate resilience in the face of these challenges, you and your counselor can work towards building a stronger alliance.

It is also important to note that silence can be a valuable aspect of the counseling process.

The counselor may choose to remain silent with you for the duration of the session. It is possible that the counselor will be able to accept your silence. However, if this silence makes you feel uneasy, it may be because you feel that silence indicates ineffectiveness and powerlessness. In counseling, silence can sometimes serve a specific purpose, allowing the client to gain deeper insight into their inner self. At other times, it may be necessary for the counselor to provide guidance at an opportune moment, as the significance of silence can vary depending on the stage of the session.

Should silence cause the questioner discomfort, they are encouraged to communicate this to the counselor. This can be done by discussing their feelings and thoughts during the counseling session, as well as sharing any concerns they may have about the silence.

It is only by understanding your thoughts and feelings that the counselor will be able to ascertain your state and emotions, and proceed to assist you in analyzing your expectations and needs.

It is recommended that the questioner engage in meditation exercises for approximately ten minutes per day. This will assist in developing emotional awareness and relaxation techniques.

Should you wish to communicate further, please click below to find a coach who can interpret and communicate with me on your behalf. I wish you the best of luck.

Hello, my name is Fly, and I'm a heart exploration coach. I hope you have a happy 2023!

I totally get it. You want to talk to the school counselor to help you solve some problems, but when you meet with them, you can't say anything. This makes you feel really awkward and at a loss, and even a little frustrated. Let's take a look at the problem together:

1. I'd love to give you a quick overview of psychological counseling.

Psychological counseling is all about building a good relationship and, most importantly, a sense of trust between you and your counselor.

I totally get where you're coming from with "there is nothing to hide, but I can't say a word." It can feel a bit tense when there's a lack of trust, and I can see why you'd feel that way.

It's not uncommon for folks who've been receiving psychological counseling for a while to feel like the counselor hasn't quite gotten to the main topic yet. The good news is that the counselor-client relationship is already a central part of the counseling process, and it's still a very important part of it.

It might seem like just a casual chat, but the truth is that the professional counselor has already gathered lots of information without you even realizing it. This helps them to provide the best possible support and guidance moving forward.

It's so important to remember the difference between school and social counseling. Some substitute teachers do this work part-time, which is great!

And some are not really "psychological counseling" in the sense of "interviews" as you said. They focus on understanding the psychological state of students and solving specific problems.

I just wanted to let you know that if you go to a psychological consultation again next time, you can share your real feelings and thoughts with the counselor. This can be used as a "topic" for discussion during the consultation, which I think you'll find really helpful.

? 2. Fear of authority figures

You're still a student, and it's totally normal to feel a little nervous around authority figures like teachers and school leaders. It's okay to feel worried or scared sometimes!

I totally get it. I used to freeze up in front of authority figures too. It's so hard to find the words when you're nervous. I remember feeling like my head was empty of the content I had prepared beforehand.

Everyone is equal, and we all have lots of different sides to us. Teachers and counselors can be your "resources" when you're dealing with them.

Teachers are there to help you grow and move on to the next stage of life. They're like tools that teach you knowledge and accompany you as you learn and grow.

Counselors are there to help you with whatever life throws at you. They're tools that can help you solve life's puzzles and find happiness. Just remember, it's important to separate their identity from their behavior. You've got this! Express yourself confidently and courageously.

I really think you'd like "Mr. Toad Sees a Psychologist." It's a very popular and accessible psychology book that is interesting and relaxing. I highly recommend it to you.

I really hope this helps you, and I love you so much! ?

If you'd like to keep chatting, just click 'Find a coach' in the top right or bottom of the page. I'd love to keep talking with you one-on-one!

Dear student, I know you are confused. Let's explore it together!

1. After consulting the school's psychological counselor, what was the question the counselor asked you? It wasn't something you couldn't say, but you just couldn't say it in words. First of all, you can think about whether it's because the counselor is a teacher at the school, and you are worried that your confessions will be told to other teachers by him, and there is a risk of a leak, so you are a bit afraid to speak up? Or is it because it's the first time you've consulted, and people are nervous or distrustful when facing strangers. You will only feel at ease expressing your inner world in a safe situation.

Don't doubt yourself after the first failure. Give your counseling relationship a little more time and information.

2. You should know that psychological counseling is based on the principle of confidentiality. If you do not have any circumstances that would warrant an exception to confidentiality (suicide, self-injury, preparing to break the law, etc.), the counselor is required to keep your secrets. This means you can slowly let your guard down a little.

3. In a good counseling relationship, the counselor will guide you to express yourself. Don't be afraid. Even if you don't speak up, the relaxed counseling room and the counselor's observation of you and giving you enough attention will also slowly make you relax.

4. The school counselor saw that you were unable to say anything clearly and probably felt that you just came to the counseling center because you were in a bad mood. He directly asked you why you came. You told him that there was nothing wrong with you and that it was a good thing that you could seek help on your own initiative. You can also go for counseling when you are in a bad mood. The counselor you met at your school was not professional enough. He was unable to catch your problem and guide you to express your emotions. Other counselors can solve this.

5. I knew that asking for help would gradually help me feel better. That's why I only agreed to try after the interview. You're brave for trying. However, psychological counseling is sometimes like finding a marriage partner. You may not find a match right away. I suggest you try again. In addition, there are some public youth helplines where you can also seek advice. Perhaps without the relationship with the school, you can express yourself.

6. Classmate, you can do this!

You're doing the right thing, so don't be afraid. Also, you should try sports to find a happy mood. After exercise, it helps dopamine secretion.

You can also find answers to your distress in books. For example, read "The Sorrows of Young Werther." The classic questions in those classic books may also be your questions.

You will find the above for your reference. Thank you.

Hello, host! I'm July, and I'm so happy to be here!

I think it's great that you're considering counseling. It's totally normal to feel a bit tongue-tied when you first meet with a counselor. Many people are like this in real life! It's only natural to feel a little nervous when you're just getting started. So, don't worry if you're not able to say what you want to say right away. It's not a problem.

It's totally normal to feel like you can't communicate your true thoughts in front of a counselor. It just shows that your psychological defense mechanism is quite high. So, at the moment, you're unable to communicate your true thoughts because deep down you quite resist expressing these thoughts. First, you're afraid that if you express these thoughts, you will be hurt twice. So, by not expressing your true thoughts and feelings, you're protecting yourself. Second, you're not familiar with the counselor, which means you haven't established a good trust with him. So, it's difficult for you to open up.

It's also clear that your counselor isn't quite ready for the job. A qualified psychological counselor would never treat a visitor this way. So, it's obvious that the counselor has some major problems to work through. And, unfortunately, this counselor's skills are probably more superficial than you'd like. That makes it difficult to gain insight into some of the problems you have. So, this counselor uses a cold field to solve problems, rather than taking the initiative to break the deadlock and solve problems.

I can see that this series of behaviors by the counselor made you feel a bit cold at the moment. I know you had a favorable impression of psychological counseling, so I'm really sorry to hear that you felt a little disappointed and unhappy. I can understand why you feel that way, because in your heart you felt that you could slowly solve your current problems through psychological counseling. However, I can also see that this unpleasant counseling session has made you question yourself a little, as well as your experience of psychological counseling. I'm really sorry to hear that you doubt whether all counselors treat their clients in this way.

I really don't think my answer applies here. Counsellors are great, but it depends on the one you meet. And psychological counselling is really helpful, but it depends on the counsellor's skills.

I've also put together a few tips to help you cope with what you're going through. I really hope they'll be helpful for you!

(1) Take it easy, take your time, and don't put pressure on yourself to be angry. Instead, give yourself some time to slowly adjust to your current state, so you can better solve the problem.

(2) Try not to blame yourself for everything. We all have good days and bad days, and it's okay to feel like you're carrying other people's burdens sometimes.

(3) When you're feeling down, it's good to let off some steam! Try sports, music, journaling, chatting, or anything else that helps you feel better. Don't hold back, let your emotions out!

(4) When you have a good, trusting relationship with someone, you'll naturally start to share your thoughts and feelings with them. So, take your time! Don't put too much pressure on yourself, but rather say, "Take it slow."

(5) Try to distract yourself. You can do the things you like, and don't let yourself be in negative situations for too long. We've got your back!

The world and I love you so much!

Wishing you all the best!