What should I do if I can't rest because I'm addicted to something and I don't know how to balance it?

Hello, I'm Qiaomu. Your words are like meeting you.

When I read your words, I see a frantic you at a computer, tapping the keyboard and rubbing your eyes. I also see myself, sometimes having to force myself to complete a KPI.

You seem self-disciplined, which is good. You work hard and keep learning, which many people cannot do. But you said "balance" is important. How can you achieve it? I have a few tips:

1️⃣Persevere, but when you're very inefficient, stop. As the Chinese proverb says, "Sharpening a knife does not delay chopping wood." Tension and hard work make us ineffective, so we need a break.

Take a half-day break. Meet friends, exercise, or watch a movie alone.

Think about why you study and why you rest. This will help you balance your time and organize your tasks.

3️⃣ Learn about time management methods. These aren't about getting everything done, but using time more effectively.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

Studying is not a competition. In the Internet age, it's so great that everyone has the chance to read lots and learn lots! You can take online courses for graduate school exams and professional exams, as well as from elementary school to college.

In other words, the invisible threshold for going to school and learning knowledge has been broken, which is a great advantage! But, as with everything, there are a few disadvantages, and competition has increased.

It's so great that kids in mountainous areas can now get a good education! But that also means there's one more person competing for the same thing. Back in the day, folks were too busy working on construction sites to have time for offline training. But now, they can take online courses in their spare time! And it's not just that. The media sometimes likes to sell anxiety and economic downturns, which have all contributed to increased competition and anxiety.

Once we understand the cause, we can gradually solve the problem together.

Have you ever thought that if this is true, then anyone who wants to be successful or excel or learn and grow will probably feel anxious? It's okay if you do! You're not alone. Many people feel this way. But here's something to think about: everyone feels anxious sometimes. So if you're not feeling anxious, you're already one step ahead!

I'd love to know, are there any people around you who are not anxious? I'm really curious to find out what they're like!

The people around me who don't get anxious are often less self-disciplined. They believe that someone will hold up the sky if it collapses, and they understand that they are completely unable to be self-disciplined, so they simply forget about success. Why are they not anxious? Because they pursue different life goals from ours. They generally pursue living a good life and enjoying the good times while they last. They believe that they do not need to succeed and be famous; being able to eat well, drink well, get married, and have children is enough.

They feel that they don't need to be successful and famous, and that being able to eat, drink, get married, and have children is enough. And that's okay!

Ultimately, we have to take responsibility for our own actions. We want things too soon and too much, but we can't always get what we want.

Wouldn't it be lovely to plant a tree today and enjoy its fruit tomorrow? Or is that like "pulling up seedlings to make them grow faster"?

Imagine for a second that I had some kind of magic power and could make all your dreams come true right now. What would you do next? Would you just sit back and enjoy the moment like an optimist? And if you were handed 100 million and could live your dream life, would you stop chasing excellence?

Take a moment to ask yourself:

We're all just playing a game, a game of chicken. Today we're in the novice area, thinking about how to improve a little bit to reach higher levels and experience richer modes and larger maps. Finally, we've arrived in the free world! The problem is, the richness is there, but the difficulty is greater.

Then you keep working hard, reaching the highest level 99. Along the way, you'll probably feel the same introspection and anxiety you're feeling now. You'll win, and you'll feel a sense of accomplishment. But then, you might lose the joy of playing the game, or you might even feel like you're getting old. I wonder why we're always so obsessed with focusing on a goal and following our own set thinking.

Another thing to think about is that the rules of the game world are unchanging, but the real world is not. No matter how long the game lasts, it will eventually level up, but the real world is not like that. There are too many things we can't control. Do you really think that if you learn everything you want, you will achieve it?

How much time have you spent on this? What have you sacrificed along the way?

So, I think it's important for us to learn to let go of some things, to tell ourselves that it's not that bad, and even if it is, to think about what else we can do. When we're feeling anxious, it can help to look at people who are worse off than us. Do we really have to live a hard life if we have low expectations? I think the answer is no! First, we should try to conquer our own hearts, and then work hard and do our best.

The above paragraph is really trying to tell us that everything is always changing. What you love now might not be the same thing you love in the future. It's okay to let go of your obsessions and get back to the heart of learning. What you learn should be something that adds value to society, not just a competition for academic qualifications. Believe in the power of time. Some people with academic qualifications, even if they have the key to success now, might not be around for much longer if they can't create value.

You know what you need to do? You need to become a gold nugget, not a human library stacked up one on top of the other. Find your own strengths through learning, create value, and think outside the box. You've got this!

Also, remember that everything has two sides. It's so important to believe this and to keep it close to your heart. Even if you succeed, you'll still have the worries of success. Even if you fail, you'll still have the benefits of failure. In short, even if you don't reach it, it's not that bad. Just start over again. When you took exams before, did you meet your expectations every time? But just because you didn't meet expectations doesn't mean it was particularly bad, does it? No, it doesn't. It motivates you to work harder and prompts you to innovate your skills. It's not that bad. You've got this!

Remember, duality and change are the two core ideas that can help you feel more at ease. Give them a try and see how they work for you!

Hello! I just read your question and I can relate to how you're feeling.

We all know that studying is important, but it can be really tiring if you do it all the time. What can we do to make it easier on ourselves?

It's totally normal to feel tired sometimes. Our bodies are amazing, but they do need a little TLC sometimes too!

I think the best way to approach this is to divide it into long-term, short-term, and immediate.

Right now, I feel tired and exhausted, too! It's totally normal and reasonable to feel disinclined to study.

There's absolutely no need to resist these emotions and fight against them. You can reduce the amount of content you need to study today, put off the less urgent content such as live classes, and steal a little leisure time.

Do something you love! Go out for a nice meal with friends, listen to music, or do some exercise. All of these things can help to relieve stress. When you feel relaxed, you may be able to get back to your studies.

This is a great way to relieve stress, but it might not solve the underlying problem.

I'd love to help you figure out what the root of the problem is, but I don't know your specific situation.

Let's take a guess at what might be causing the problem. Is the goal of this study reasonable?

How long do you think this intense learning phase will last? Do you feel like you're accomplishing something with all this learning?

And I'd love to hear more about what motivates you to learn. What makes you feel such a sense of urgency to learn?

Maybe we can make some short-term adjustments to the course content. Let's figure out what's important and must be completed.

What can we do without? Then let's make a plan together! We can set aside special time for ourselves to rest.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether you agree that the sustainability of learning is more important than short-term high intensity.

I think it would be really helpful for us to chat about why you feel like you need to get through your current studies so quickly. It would be great to understand what's driving this feeling, so we can adjust your state in a way that's more helpful for you.

Is this something you really have to do right now, like students in their senior year of high school who have to face the challenge of continuous, intense learning? Or is this not something you absolutely have to do right now? If so, what kind of benefits, satisfaction, and sense of accomplishment does this full schedule bring you, and what does it give you in terms of a sense of security?

Find out the reasons, and then talk about the factors that can be adjusted. I think there may be a goal we have set. Is this goal putting too much pressure on you? I'm here to help!

You can absolutely achieve your value without overloading! We're all in this together, pursuing continuous and long-term learning.

I think the questioner knows his own situation best, and maybe my guess wasn't totally on the mark. But I hope it'll get the ball rolling on some good conversations! I truly believe you can adjust your current learning state and get better and better.

Hello, host!

Your question caught my attention. I am your fellow traveler who can't stop. I may not have the answer you're looking for, but I'm going to share my experiences, feelings, and thoughts anyway. I'm going to help you understand your situation and give yourself a little more inner peace of mind.

I used the word "sense of security," and I think it's fair to say that the state of wanting to learn all the time is a lack of inner security. It could also be called anxiety. In a class, I heard a definition of anxiety as a bad feeling plus the knowledge that something bad is going to happen in the future.

I am going to start working on ourselves here.

Anxiety stems from uncertainty.

Ask yourself what terrible thing is going to happen in the future. You'll find that you can't answer. If you can predict when a specific terrible thing will happen, you may not be as anxious. You can think ahead and prepare measures according to the nature of the terrible thing. You can choose to act or choose to escape, and anxiety will be relieved.

But when there is no way of knowing what terrible thing might happen and when, anxiety becomes persistent and intense. There's no doubt about it: anxiety comes from uncertainty, or rather, intolerance of uncertainty. Humans naturally have a rather limited tolerance for uncertainty because uncertainty means the possibility of losing control, and losing control can almost be equated with danger.

A large part of our activities have one goal: to turn a sense of uncontrollability into a sense of control, or to turn uncertainty into certainty. This is even true when it means identifying what is uncertain and then giving up on trying to control it. In any case, it will still give us peace of mind.

I will now return to the topic of "can't stop" learning. I am certain that uncertainty about learning goals is one of the reasons.

I have gained this understanding from my own experiences and feelings. The cancellation of the national psychological counselor professional qualification examination in China meant that the "clear qualification" that was needed as a reference or goal for entering the profession disappeared.

While a formal psychology degree is the most reassuring way to enter the profession, not everyone is qualified to do so. The future direction of other relevant training resources is uncertain, and this uncertainty extends to the learning objectives.

Another uncertainty immediately becomes apparent: with so many training courses and so much psychological knowledge, it is difficult to figure out which ones to learn, or how much time to spend learning which ones first, and how much time to spend learning which ones second, as well as other practical learning such as counseling clients, regularly receiving supervision, and doing personal experience yourself, etc. – the content and path of learning become uncertain. We must therefore accept this uncertainty and focus more on the certain part.

There is a paradox here. As laypeople, we lack the perception and judgment to determine which knowledge to learn first and which to put aside for the time being. But as beginners, we precisely need this perception and judgment to avoid ineffective training.

Psychology is a vast and boundless field of knowledge.

We're diving in with anticipation, but we can't even distinguish the boundaries of the sea and sky in a state of "blindness." We think we can see a lot and go far, but in fact, it's so hard to be sure about where we're going and how to get there. Investing time, energy, and money without a clear and foreseeable future will increase our sense of helplessness and panic.

I don't have a "solution" for what to do. The source of anxiety must be completely resolved for the anxiety to be completely resolved.

However, this understanding of my situation (I haven't done my best to change my situation, although I've tried to break free from it and I'm exhausted) ultimately helped me come up with a way to reduce my anxiety: "crossing the river by feeling the stones". Since at this stage there is a paradox in my perception of what I'm learning and how I'm learning, I'm going to stop trying to be certain. I've realized that in such a learning and practicing environment, ineffective training that steps on the pit and explores the way is inevitable, so I'm just going to keep stepping on the pit and exploring the way, doing my best.

Accept the uncertain part and focus more on the certain part.

Identify what you cannot be sure of, accept this uncertainty, and only finalize the content you will try to learn and take exams for in the next six months or year. This certainty will give you a lot of peace of mind and help you keep anxiety at a bearable level so that it does not make you deviate too far from good health or even cause a breakdown. This is what we can do for ourselves at the moment.

You can't cope or stop if you've set yourself learning tasks that exceed a balanced and healthy lifestyle. You need to reduce the amount of tasks you have, lengthen the learning cycle, and free up some time to rest. Get enough sleep and exercise. This will improve your learning efficiency.

Let's be real, we all need to be in good shape to go to work. For those in the mental health industry, your own physical and mental health is non-negotiable.

You must discover your own issues from the current situation of "can't stop," work for yourself, and gain the ability to live a healthy lifestyle for both body and mind. When I say this to you, I am also saying it to myself.

I encourage you to do the same.

The world and I love you.

P.S. If my response doesn't match your situation, ignore it. Find your own issues. For example, you can't stop because you're held back by an internalized object that represents laziness, inaction, and the lack of achievement. This is an even more difficult issue to deal with.

You are motivated.

You set high standards for yourself. This makes you tense and prevents you from relaxing.

If you keep going like this, you will feel pressure and anxiety.

You always feel like you have to keep going.

When you stop, you feel guilty and wasteful.

You can take a break.

Why are you studying?

Is your schedule reasonable?

What happens if you take a break?

What if you don't achieve your goal?

Do you have to pass the exams the first time?

Will studying too much harm your health?

Your health is more important than studying!

What if you fail an exam?