What should I do if I don't plan my work and my life is a mess?

Hello! Thanks so much for inviting me to answer.

Think about it. Looking back at human history, there have been countless people, but how many people in the world know their names? In the end, the vast majority of people are actually "nobodies." But they have been in this world, and they've lived their lives. What were their goals in life, why did they live, and what kind of life did they lead?

How many answers can you find for the questions they've already passed away?

Everyone's life seems similar at first glance, but when you look closely, it's amazing how different we all are! If you randomly compare two people, you'll find that their personalities, life goals, life situations, and pursuits may be completely different.

Yang Jiang was a wise woman who saw the world in a special way. In her later years, she said, "The world is one's own, and has nothing to do with others." I think she really saw the essence of life.

You say that if you live without stress, you'll be able to live a carefree life. And I totally get it! This is a state of life in itself, and it's so obvious that living this way makes you feel more comfortable than applying planning and rigorous logic to your life. That's why you've chosen to follow your heart and live a natural and honest way.

I think it's great! What do you think?

I don't think anyone can say for sure that if you apply careful planning and rigorous logic to your life, you'll definitely have a better life than you have now.

When natural or man-made disasters strike, it's so clear that life planning is useless. And there's no evidence in life that science students who are good at logical reasoning will necessarily have a better life than arts students.

Life is all about how strong you are as a person, and it's also about the environment you live in.

It would be really helpful for you to think about what you think is "not good" about your current life. And also, what do you think is so "good" about the way you want to live your life?

Take a moment to think about it. You might find that there are still some goals you aspire to in your heart.

I love you, world! And I love you, too!

Insight into the mind, sharing a habit! I am talking to myself.

You're alive, so why worry about why you're alive?

Life should be lived with a sense of purpose. What is a life with a sense of purpose?

Why plan your life?

Life is a blessing. Enjoy happy moments.

When we're in a situation for a long time, we forget how lucky we are to be alive.

When we are healthy and not facing disasters, it's easy to take being alive for granted. We see others facing the same situation and think, "I'm just alive." The pandemic is a good example. Most of us have fought the virus and survived, with varying effects on our bodies.

We are lucky compared to those who have left during this pandemic. Compared to them, aren't we happy to be alive? Is it still a difficult question to answer?

How meaningful is your search for a reason to live?

Isn't life like a TV show? How many episodes have a big climax? Most episodes are just plain and unremarkable.

But these links are needed for a TV series, or it would be dull. You say your actions are controlled by desires and impulses. If you can't control your life, why live?

Living is about being your own boss. You can watch TV series whenever you want and climb mountains whenever you feel like it. Why do you have to see these things as having no rules?

What is regular? Is regularity good?

If every day is regular, you'll think life is monotonous.

In today's changing world, planning is a mistake.

You plan to earn 1 million in five years.

You plan to find your other half, start a family, and have kids in five years.

You plan to travel the world in five years.

These are your plans. Plans are plans, and intentions are intentions. But reality is reality. Plans are disrupted by reality.

We must make a good plan for our lives. It's fashionable to make plans, but does a life with a plan necessarily turn out splendid and colorful?

You might say, "At least I have a plan."

Making a plan is good. It can give you a goal for the future. I prefer to face reality. I never set long-term goals that I can't achieve or that are beyond my abilities. I don't consider that a plan, but a fantasy.

I like the real world because it's down-to-earth. You can have small goals that are almost within reach, like buying a birthday cake tomorrow. I can achieve and satisfy these goals, and they're still small.

One last thing.

It doesn't matter if you don't have a plan or if you're just going through life in a daze. These things happen.

When you're tired, take a break. When you're annoyed, go for a walk.

You don't need to ask others. Even if someone gives you advice, it may not apply to you. The best way is to experience it for yourself.

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I am going to share the following information with you:

A life without challenges is not a life worth living.

The questioner describes a situation where their actions are completely controlled by fleeting desires or impulses and they are unable to identify a purpose in life.

This sense of emptiness in spirit and behavior is caused by an overly easy and unchallenging life.

Milan Kundera's novel, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, states, "When a person is completely unburdened, they become lighter than the air and soar high, leaving the earth and real life behind. They become something not quite real, moving freely but without purpose."

[Awakening the inner strength]

It is encouraging to see that the questioner has identified the need for change in this area.

I want you to pay special attention and believe that this is your inner wisdom with unlimited potential being awakened.

The book Embrace Your Inner Child makes it clear that each of us has the energy and wisdom we need to succeed. However, we often limit our potential by using subconscious mechanisms.

I strongly believe that the key to unleashing your full potential is to fully tap into your awareness and energy. When you do so, you will discover that your self-healing power is so full of vitality.

[Change starts with effort.]

To truly escape spiritual emptiness, you must maintain a fulfilling state of life and add a little challenge to your relaxed life.

As Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, emphasizes in his book Authentic Happiness, true happiness comes from one's own efforts.

Start by fully communicating with your parents, family members, or friends. Clarify your general life direction and goals as soon as possible. Set specific measures, work hard little by little, and make progress day by day.

Pay attention to even the smallest changes. Encourage and affirm yourself in a timely manner. Believe that your efforts will definitely pay off.

In short, if you work hard, happiness will always be there.

Thank you for being here today. I'm sure you'll find the above answers your questions.

Hello, host, I have read your description and I hope you will allow me to discuss the game of life with you.

In your article, you mentioned that you're looking to make some changes to avoid making the wrong decisions in life.

If you're interested in making a change, it might be helpful to start with yourself.

For those with lofty aspirations, changing the world is often a highly sought-after goal in life. However, it is important to remember that the first step on the path to achieving this goal is to focus on oneself. If you believe you are on the right path, your beliefs will eventually manifest in reality. Having a positive outlook is a valuable quality that can help overcome difficulties and depression.

In your article, you expressed that you're struggling to find direction in life and feel uncertain about your purpose.

This also brings to mind something I've read online: why do many people suffer from inferiority complexes?

Perhaps their greatest challenge is that they don't want to succeed.

Some people may unintentionally highlight their weaknesses, which can lead to feelings of inferiority. However, it is important to recognise that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It is crucial to have the resilience to overcome challenges and not let them defeat you.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses in their character. It would be interesting to know which side of the coin you emphasize.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you live by. It's possible that focusing on your weaknesses may not be the most beneficial approach.

If you can see the good in things, you may find that you become stronger and stronger. If you are willing to hold back the urge to succumb to your weaknesses and look deeply at your strengths, you may find that you become strong. This could be seen as a kind of faith.

It is often the case that we are not as accepting of ourselves as we could be in our own imagination. However, it is important to remember that we can play an important role in our own transformation by accepting ourselves as we are.

Many people find themselves caught between success and failure. Discouragement can be a significant obstacle in the pursuit of success. Sometimes, all it takes is a slight shift in perspective and a renewed commitment to succeed.

Indeed, your life has the potential to become stronger and more glorious. By nurturing a strong faith, deep understanding, and fearless dedication, you can open the door to a life filled with greater possibilities.

Your wisdom will shine through with great energy, which will in turn influence those around you and change your world.

Life can be a magnificent poem, praising all that is good as the sun rises and the wind blows. However, it can also be immersed in a mournful aria, accompanied only by ashes and winter.

Perhaps change begins with ourselves, and then our lives can truly flourish.

Thank you for the opportunity to respond to your question. I am a licensed psychological counselor, Mo.

It is likely that most people have experienced a period of confusion in their lives. This is not surprising, given that the growth process does not take into account the individual personalities and interests of each child. Academic performance is the primary focus. This is why Xu Kaiwen, a PhD in psychology from Peking University, caused such a significant reaction when he proposed the concept of "empty heart disease" at the time.

Many people simply drift aimlessly through life. However, you are not one of them. You are confused by this confusion and are brave enough to ask for help. This is already the first important step towards change.

What is the next step?

I recently read a book called "Life Design Class." I believe that if I had read this book ten or twenty years younger, it might have had a significant impact on my life.

Based on the insights from the book and my own experience, I would like to offer the following advice:

1. First, identify your current position. Consider the four aspects of life: health, work, entertainment, and love.

It is important to maintain a dynamic balance in life. An excessive focus on one aspect at the expense of the others can lead to physical and mental imbalance, which in turn can cause problems.

2. Design your own direction. The meaning of design is not to immediately implement the goal once it has been set, but to test it at a small cost, just as you would conduct an experiment.

For instance, if you aspire to advance your career and attain a specific level within the organization, you can establish this as a goal and outline the requisite time, effort, and investment. Similarly, you can set a goal aligned with your interests and detail the associated costs.

It is possible to list several goals at the same time and then assess the feasibility of each goal individually through interviews with industry insiders, personal experience outside of work, and other methods (these are referred to as low-cost methods). It is important to remember to pay attention to how you feel during this process to ensure you are making the right decision. It is crucial to distinguish between genuine interest and other factors, such as promising prospects, which may influence your decision.

However, external benchmarks cannot provide the solution, and the answer lies within the individual.

3. Take action. This includes verifying your design for your life and also includes continuous action once you have determined a direction.

Only action can lead to experience, and experience will inspire further action. While action may also reduce motivation, it will ultimately provide insight into the next steps to take.

For more detailed practical advice, I recommend reading the book Life Design Class.

There is a line in Galaxy Tuition Class that states, "Tsinghua and Peking Universities are just a process, not a destination." This implies that without a clear goal in mind, the effort expended in pursuing these institutions is futile.

Similarly, life planning is ineffective without a clearly defined objective.

Best wishes for success!

Hello, landlord. I'm Gesanghua's Dream, a whale social worker, and I'm happy to answer your questions.

The landlord wants to improve his or her lack of persistence. He or she hopes to become self-disciplined, plan things out, and have a sense of direction.

Let's look at why people lack perseverance when doing new things.

A short attention span means you lack perseverance and patience. You also tend to be fickle and prefer new things to old. You either don't like what you're doing or are afraid of difficulties. You lack confidence and self-efficacy. You also lack the judgment and understanding to know if you can complete a task.

There are three reasons for a lack of perseverance at the subconscious level:

1. Weak motivation and lack of drive

The achievement motive is about pursuing valuable work to a high standard. American psychologist David McClelland believes that everyone develops an achievement motive during their development.

Everyone's different.

People with a strong achievement motive can persevere, get things done, and finish what they start. People with a weak achievement motive give up easily.

2. Low self-confidence

Psychological inferiority is when you think you are worse than other people.

This is a character flaw. People with it undervalue their abilities.

People with low self-esteem give up easily. They try things but don't stick with them.

3. Growing up in a bubble.

Children who have grown up with too much freedom are used to getting things for free. Because parents always give their children what they want, children don't learn to enjoy getting things through their own efforts.

They are curious but can't persist. They only have three minutes of interest.

If the host wants to change, he needs to be more motivated and confident. He also needs to face more challenges.

I hope this helps.

Best regards, Yi Xinli

Good day, question asker.

Thank you for allowing me to respond. I received a notification that I was invited to answer, but I did not see the words "@song is here" on the answer page. I am unsure what is going on, so I will assume it is an invitation from the questioner.

I differ from the original poster in that I rely more on logical reasoning to think and live. For example, if the original poster is seeking advice on how to change their life, which is unplanned and unstructured, I would first ask "why" about these "problems" that need to be changed: why do you need planning?

Please explain the rationale behind the need for rules. Additionally, please provide a rationale for your affinity for logic.

There is no inherent problem with not planning, not having a routine, not liking logic, and simply going with the flow, sleeping when you want, and playing when you want. Furthermore, this state is only possible when "life is not stressful." What kind of experience do you imagine a planned, routine, and logic-controlled life will bring you?

Then, inquire about the feelings or confusion this way of life evokes. The desire to change is likely driven by a sense of discomfort, which may be the result of an unmet need.

If you can identify and distinguish these needs and translate them into concrete actions, the issue may be resolved. When you know what you want and how to achieve it, you will naturally take action. The approach may vary depending on the goal, and there is no right or wrong. The actions may not be the most important aspect. What are your thoughts on this?

The question can be traced back to the original poster's self-statement: "I can't find a purpose in life, I don't know what I should live for, or what kind of life I should live." The original poster's three sentences can be replaced with the classic three questions of the soul: "Who am I? Where did I come from? And where am I going?"

A more philosophical or psychological inquiry might be, "What is the meaning of my life?" Alternatively, a more popular approach could be, "What kind of person do I want to be?"

In simple terms, this is asking: What is it that I truly want?

If you follow this line of logic, you may have already discovered that no external party can help you find the answer to this question or those questions.

There is no one else involved in this process except yourself.

It is unfortunate that each individual life is a unique and lonely existence. It would appear that it is impossible to truly ascertain one's desires otherwise, over the past few thousand years, so many people would not have attempted to find a definitive answer to the three questions of the soul in vain.

I believe this is an intractable dilemma for humanity as a whole.

On the other hand, I am pleased to note that each individual has the autonomy to determine their own path in life. Otherwise, it is unlikely that so many philosophers would have devoted their time to developing systems of thought around the three questions of the soul over the past few thousand years. It seems that the challenge lies in the necessity for human beings to pursue and find the meaning of life.

In addressing this dilemma, my approach is to explore new opportunities, acknowledge the emotions they evoke, and discern their implications for my preferences. When uncertainty persists, I continue to identify my preferences and dislikes.

In particular, I utilize learning psychology, including reading, attending classes, and writing, to facilitate my own development. I find the thinking and views of the existentialist school of Irving Yalom on the common human condition, death, loneliness, freedom, and meaninglessness particularly insightful.

I am particularly interested in the thought system of the independent school of psychoanalysis, the Winnicott paradigm. I would also recommend Irving Yalom's novels, which I find highly readable. If you are interested, I would encourage you to give them a try.

As we gain experience, we will naturally become more adept at distinguishing between our wants and our dislikes. We will also strive to engage in more of the activities that bring us enjoyment. By considering the implications of these activities, we will be able to continue pursuing them and ultimately chart our own course.

While this path may not ultimately lead to the desired outcome, it will undoubtedly align you with your true aspirations. This is analogous to the concept of "finding a goal is the current goal."

Even if we finally determine the direction we want to go, it doesn't mean that "the problem is solved." There is no guarantee that we will definitely get where we want to go. We still have to continue trying to understand where we want to go. In fact, there are new goals again.

Furthermore, there is the possibility that I may reach my desired destination. Even then, I anticipate that I will still see that there are various avenues to pursue and new objectives will emerge. However, I am concerned that I may still be uncertain about whether these new goals align with my true aspirations.

However, the only remaining option is to proceed with an attempt to gain experience.

Life is about gaining experience.

This concludes my remarks.

I would like to express my gratitude to the world and to you, my esteemed colleagues.

Hello, question asker! Thanks so much for inviting me to answer. I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

Not knowing what your purpose in life is, or what you should live for, or what kind of life you should lead, can really make you feel lost. Even though you don't like rigorous logical reasoning and don't apply it in your life, you also feel that you need to change in this regard. You want to know if there is any good way to do so, right?

I'd love to share some thoughts with you that you can keep in mind.

We all know that acting on our desires and impulses can bring us temporary pleasure. But it's not always the best long-term solution.

In one experiment, researchers attached an electric stimulation module to the brain of a rat, and then connected the electric stimulation module of the rat to a push-button switch with a pedal. Then, whenever the rat stepped on the pedal, it would receive a burst of stimulation and feel pleasure. They found that the rat would keep pressing the pedal button, seeking more self-stimulation, and would not even be interested in food, water, sleep, sex, etc. It just desperately pressed the pedal, and some rats could reach up to 2,000 presses per hour, and finally died from exhaustion.

Guess what! They also discovered that when a rat presses this lever, it stimulates this neuron in the brain and secretes something. The chemical secreted is dopamine.

If our actions are always controlled by momentary desires or impulses, it can be tough to truly control our actions and do the things we really want to do. We might find ourselves doing things just for the transient happiness of the moment and the rush of dopamine in our bodies. But when we look back, we might even regret some things, like watching a TV drama for the whole afternoon.

Aristotle said something really interesting! He said that the reason we do things is to feel good and avoid feeling bad. It's like we're wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Isn't that fascinating?

This principle of hedonism will always make us want to avoid pain and seek comfort. But this comfort is only temporary, and in fact it will lead to long-term pain. What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

2. You know, creating a sense of order in our lives can also bring order to our inner selves and lead to deeper joy.

It's so important to remember that, because of the law of increasing entropy, if we don't make an effort to keep our lives vibrant and maintain order in our lives, our lives will become increasingly chaotic and our state will deteriorate.

It's so important to remember that when we use the Internet and electronic products to drain our energy and even become addicted to them, our mental entropy will increase and our inner world will become increasingly chaotic. This can make it really difficult for us to accomplish the things we want to accomplish and reduce our work and study efficiency. So, to achieve inner peace and stability, to master our own life direction, and to achieve "self-worth" in our limited lives, we need to fight against "entropy increase" and learn to reduce entropy. This means getting rid of disorder and becoming orderly, getting rid of laziness and becoming self-disciplined, and getting rid of short-term happiness and gaining long-term joy.

Sports, reading, and being disciplined with your time and energy and focusing it on the right things (energy is limited) are all great ways to counter entropy. And don't forget to set goals and directions to become the person you really want to be!

3. Find your goals and direction, and become the amazing person you really want to be!

You are all capable of being successful and abundant. You are all inherently complete and fulfilled, and you can all rewrite your own destiny.

The past doesn't have to determine the future. We all have amazing potential, and we can all write our own scripts! Our biggest challenge is actually ourselves.

The law of increasing entropy tells us that if we do nothing, tomorrow will not get better. It will only get worse. The house will become messier and messier, relationships will become more and more distant, careers will hit rock bottom, and the things that confused you ten years ago will only confuse you more in the future. But if we can keep exercising, keep our external space tidy and clean, keep learning to obtain information, and keep adjusting our state of mind, our hearts will become clearer and clearer. And these are actually all signs of vitality!

When we keep doing these things, driven by negative entropy, they'll show an entropy-reducing effect. It's like an author who writes articles frequently. The more they write, the better their writing will become!

So, it's really important to find your own direction in life. You can think back to what you dreamed of as a child. When you do something you love, you'll feel happy and engaged, and that's your direction!

Once you've found your direction, it's time to set some reasonable goals for yourself. Make a daily list and then complete it one step at a time. Stick with it, and you'll find that your life becomes more and more regular. You'll also become more and more confident and powerful inside.

So, how do you make a daily list?

Take a moment to think about your big goals. Then, break these down into smaller goals. Finally, break these down into the amount you can accomplish each day. The idea is to start with the loose goals and work your way up to the tight ones. You've got this!

You can even fit in shorter activities (like reading a book) between your longer leisure time and rest. And don't forget to give yourself a little pat on the back each time you stick to your schedule! It's also a great idea to include tasks you can do at home, people you can call, and places you can go.

These activities should be ones that make you happy and feel good about yourself when you've finished them. They should be things you can do well, too!

I truly believe that when you can do all of the above, your daily life will become so much more organized, and you will also experience a deeper joy when doing these things every day. You'll feel like every day is fun and that the future is full of hope and worth looking forward to!

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you the best!