What should I do if I feel anxious when I see others doing things I can't do?

From what you've told me, it's clear you're a highly motivated person! It's possible something unfortunate may have happened in the past, which has made you more self-critical.

When you hear others being praised, even if you agree with them, it still stings a little because it must have touched a part of you that is hurting. But that just means there's room for improvement!

You also mentioned that you know what's better, and I know you can do it!

So, you can overcome your anxiety by accepting yourself! For example, if someone else is praised, you have the right to praise them or not. It's fine, everyone feels differently. When you feel that this person also deserves praise, but you can't praise them yourself, it's really fine to allow yourself not to praise them.

Give yourself the green light! Let your true self shine in every moment, free from the shackles of conformity.

When you give yourself more permission, you'll feel totally at ease with your actions, and anxiety will vanish!

In fact, we have all probably been hurt. But here's the good news: when a friend needs a hug, we can still give it to them! It's not a matter of right or wrong, just allow yourself to comfort and heal yourself first.

Take your time and give yourself more time!

So, try not to blame yourself! Instead, accept this new, improved self that you may have thought could not accomplish anything in the past. We don't need to compare ourselves with anyone else. We just need to be better every day, and that is already very exciting!

When you can sincerely accept your imperfect self, it will be easier for you to accept the good and the bad in other people around you. Believe in yourself! You are the best and most worthy of your first love, care, and recognition.

Come on! Let's do this!

When you see someone being praised for having "such deep thoughts," you feel anxious. Try to think about this problem from three aspects.

First, your anxiety may come from feeling like your thoughts are not deep because no one has ever commented on them. This feeling of being denied touches your original narcissism and makes you anxious.

Second, when you feel rejected, it makes you think about past pain. This may be related to your past.

You can't achieve depth of thought even though you know you can. This subconscious pain stops you acting on the conscious level.

My friend, you can change your distress by exploring the reasons that affect your actions. I hope my answer helps.

Hello, You feel anxious when you see that other people have achieved something that you haven't. You're always anxious, and then you don't get anything done, which makes you feel like your time is being wasted. You want to know how to avoid anxiety.

I see that the first layer of your anxiety comes from the pain of not getting what you want. You want to be as deep as others because that's the state you aspire to. You want to be recognized and praised, but you know you haven't made the effort, so you don't think you'll get a reward. You also realize that you should accept reality, but you can't do it.

The second kind of anxiety is about how anxiety itself is a waste of time.

You're right—approaching and praising the ideal state you desire is also a kind of acceptance. It can serve as an example and inspiration for you, but at the same time, you endure the pain of jealousy and unfulfilled desires.

One way to overcome anxiety is to take action and work hard to achieve your goal, one step at a time. By the time you finish reading a book or learning a subject, you'll feel fulfilled inside and have a good sense of self-identity. You'll also have the inner confidence to meet other people's expectations, and anxiety will go away.

You need to understand that your anxiety is driven by a need for recognition and appreciation. If you don't meet these needs, you'll experience self-doubt and self-negation, which can lead to suffering.

Even if you don't have a lot of experience, there are still ways you can get recognition. Think about the times you've been praised, and focus on your strengths. If you play to your strengths, you'll get respect and appreciation.

I hope you can get over your difficulties soon, and I wish you the best of luck.

I admire your courage and positive hope in asking this question. It's not easy to face your own content, but you've done it! First, I want to give you a compliment.

From your writing, I understand that you care a lot about what others think of you and hope that they will praise the things you want to be seen. This is a great quality! However, if others fail to praise you as you expect, or if you try hard to get something but it is easily taken away by others, this makes you feel very uncomfortable. This is something you can work on!

I'm really excited to give you some advice because this question is all about thinking about yourself and how others see you. To help me do that, I'm going to use the amazing tool of the "Zhouhari Window" to illustrate.

The Zhouhuali window contains four lines:

[Open area]: the part that you and everyone else knows!

[Blind spot]: the part that others know but you don't.

[Hidden area]: the part that others don't know, but you do!

[Unknown area]: the part that neither you nor anyone else knows about—and it's waiting to be discovered!

Then the part that you hope others will know you feel is good about belongs to the [hidden area]. And guess what? When the [open area] part occupies a larger area, it means that self-confidence is relatively strong!

I think what is currently troubling you is how to narrow the scope of the [hidden area] and turn it into a larger [open area]. So let's dive in and figure out how we can make that happen!

It means "sharing your feelings without holding back," which means you can show others what kind of person you are and then use their feedback to become even better!

But it is indeed not an easy task to do so. It may be similar to the process of converting solar energy into electricity through photovoltaics, which is not directly usable because we are not born as plants. But that doesn't mean it can't be done!

So, how can we do that? Well, I've got three suggestions for you right here, right now!

First, accept your anxiety!

When we feel anxious, it is mostly because we feel "out of control." But there's an easy way to get back in control! For example, there is a test at school tomorrow, but you are not sure if you have prepared enough?

When we don't know if we can get the desired score, the exam itself will make us feel anxious. But that's OK! It's all part of the process.

Anxiety has both advantages and disadvantages. When anxiety is mild, it can help focus attention, which is great! But when anxiety is severe, it can limit thinking and make us focus on dealing with the anxiety.

So it seems that "being seen" and "being recognized" are the things that make you anxious. But don't worry! We can increase our "sense of control" or become "less concerned" about them.

Now, let's talk about how you can make yourself less concerned about it!

Picture this: you're studying hard for an exam and you ace it! Now, imagine if you didn't do so well the first time. What would you do? Study even harder next time, of course!

And the same goes for whether you are praised or not! If no one praises you this time, then try a little harder. And even if no one praises you, it doesn't seem that serious. Give yourself a little encouragement and keep going!

Now for the fun part! Let's talk about how to gain a sense of control.

Second, set goals and take action!

Have you ever thought about how you maintain your balance and don't sink when you are swimming? The answer is to "keep swimming forward"!

In other words, having a clear goal is the key to gaining control! When we have a clear goal, it allows us to maintain a certain level of progress and ultimately arrive where we want to be.

Now, let's talk about what goals to set and work towards! It's so important to set goals that align with how you want to be seen most. If it's the depth of your character that you want others to see, the best way for that person to do so is to "read more," "feel more," and "associate more."

There are so many ways you can turn your goals into interests! It'll make it easier for you.

And now for the third thing you need to know: accept the possibility of failure!

"Failure is a small success." And where there is success, there is also failure. But that's okay!

So, we must embrace the idea that we will fail, not as a bad thing, but as a chance to learn and grow!

The more we fear failure, the more we can work to avoid it at all costs and instead focus on working harder!

You can reveal to others the parts of yourself that you want to be seen! And if others don't care as much as you'd like, that's okay because no matter what, the only person who really cares is yourself.

If you feel uncomfortable when someone praises you, you can ask them tactfully, "How did you do it?" This will make you feel more relaxed and bring you closer together!

Absolutely! It's totally normal to fail. And because there are so many disappointments in life, success seems even more worthwhile. Do you think there is some truth in this?

I wish you the absolute best! I love you!

Good morning, question owner. I hope you don't mind me saying, but I'd like to offer you a warm hug.

From what I can gather from the text, I believe I understand the current state of mind of the questioner. I would like to offer some food for thought:

It's worth noting that the questioner's current challenge is one that many of us have faced at one point or another. It's natural to wonder why some people seem to excel in certain areas while we ourselves may not. When we find ourselves dwelling on these differences, it's important to recognize that comparison can lead to feelings of self-doubt and anxiety.

At the same time, it seems that the questioner has a good awareness of herself, which is a promising start.

1. Accepting ourselves

Many of us enjoy living in groups and appreciate the sense of approval that comes from being part of a community. It's natural to observe what others are doing and occasionally lose sight of our own feelings. Sometimes, we dedicate our lives to emulating someone else and neglect to embrace our true selves.

It is important to remember that each of us has a unique growth environment and life experience, which means that many things are incomparable. The best we can do is to strive to be better today than we were yesterday.

It would be beneficial for us to learn to accept ourselves, regardless of whether we are currently considered good or bad. In fact, we are all the truest version of ourselves. When we truly face ourselves and accept ourselves, we will be better equipped to face everything that happens around us with an open mind. Sometimes it's not that we're not good enough; it's just that we haven't discovered it yet.

2. Please feel free to customize your own plan.

It might be said that everyone has their own life plan, but it is important to be clear about our true inner thoughts, including what is best for us, not for others, and what will be helpful for our future development.

If you find another person's thinking to be profound and believe it aligns with your needs, you can consider exploring the issue from a different angle. This could involve examining how they approached it, the methods they used, the books they read, and so on. Everyone has their own unique knowledge system, and you can also strive to develop your own. The question asker can select the approach that resonates with them most.

It may be helpful to identify your strengths and work on them, while also accepting your weaknesses and not dwelling on them.

I believe there is another way to boost our own energy. While others may not pay attention to us, it is important to learn to pay attention to ourselves and love ourselves. One way to do this is to keep a success diary, even if it is just a sentence that can express it clearly. It can be helpful to take it out and read it deliberately often. Over time, when we look back, we may be surprised that we can also do many meaningful and capable things. Just as the questioner said, being close to beauty itself is also a kind of beauty.

I would also suggest reading the book The Courage to Be Disliked, which I believe could be helpful for the questioner. When we face certain things or emotions, it can also help us to learn to separate the issues. I have every confidence that you will do a good job too.

It is my sincere hope that the above will prove inspiring and beneficial to you. I eagerly anticipate the opportunity to meet a better version of yourself, and I am confident that the world will embrace you with us.