Hello, question asker!
From what you've said, I can see that the questioner is struggling with some conflicting emotions and a sense of injustice. It's great to see that they're actively trying to work through these issues and grow from them.
The questioner said, "Lately, when I interact with others, I've noticed that when I don't get my way, I want to lose my temper, but I keep holding back. This behavior makes you feel conflicted. On the one hand, you don't like this feeling of being petty. On the other hand, you feel aggrieved."
Is that it?
The truth is, most people will feel this way because there's no such thing as a perfect person or thing, and nobody meets our expectations 100% of the time. There are good people and there are bad people. When someone kind like you encounters a villain, it's normal to get emotional.
Even if you're kind and you meet kind people, when the interests that each person is defending conflict, each person defends their own interests, right? So it's okay.
Now, the questioner can use my guidance to figure out what's going on inside. When someone is always tempted to lose their temper, it shows that they're feeling pretty intense.
The questioner can take note of when this feeling first started. The questioner said the time period was recent, so what was the state before that?
Were there times when you didn't feel this way? What were you doing at the time?
As a general rule, emotions don't just pop up out of nowhere. They build up gradually. So, it'd be good to think about whether your living environment makes you feel relaxed and secure.
Take a moment to think about when this feeling first started.
The questioner can take some time to reflect on their own situation.
I don't know the specifics of the questioner's situation, but I'd like to offer some tips on how to relieve negative emotions, in the hope that they'll be helpful.
First, accept yourself.
We can only channel our energy into action by accepting and understanding ourselves. That way, we can stop fighting negative emotions like remorse, guilt, and regret.
We need to learn to give ourselves a pat on the back, even if our past efforts didn't meet expectations. That's the only way to get motivated again. We should remind ourselves that "today I am already the best me among all possibilities!"
It doesn't matter who you are or what you're like. As long as you're not hurting anyone and you're here looking for answers, you're kind. You're unique.
It's also important to express our emotions.
We're often expected to be emotionally stable adults. We're afraid to express our negative emotions, and we've slowly learned to suppress and hide them.
If you don't let your emotions out, they'll turn inward and attack your body. So, express your emotions and release them.
It's important to give every emotion your attention, and to learn how to properly release emotional energy.
And finally, exercise!
One of the best ways to restore your emotions is to exercise. You can take a walk, walk slowly, walk quickly, run, climb mountains, do yoga, etc. to return to zero and empty your mind.
I'll leave you with two quotes from my self-hypnosis master, Professor Shen Jian:
It's important to release your emotions in a way that's harmless and doesn't harm your mind or body. So, what other techniques can you use to manage your emotions?
Sometimes we can get so caught up in an emotion that we can't let it out or act on it. When this happens, it can help to distinguish between an emotion and a feeling.
For instance, if you feel terror, is it a fact that the sky is falling and the earth is sinking, or is it just an internal feeling? Another example is when you feel very angry. Is it also a fact that something big makes you angry, or is it just a feeling you have?
Once you can tell the difference between what's real and what's just a feeling, your emotions won't have as much of an impact on you.
Comments
I totally get what you're going through. It's tough when we feel like we're not acting as our best selves. Everyone has those moments where they lose their cool over small things. Just know that acknowledging this is already a big step forward.
It's okay to feel frustrated, but remember, nobody's perfect and everyone has their breaking points. Maybe try finding an outlet for your emotions, like writing or exercise. It can help channel that frustration into something productive.
Feeling like you've changed in a way you don't like is hard. But change isn't always bad; sometimes it helps us grow. Perhaps this could be a chance to understand yourself better and learn new ways to manage stress.
You're not alone in feeling this way. A lot of people struggle with controlling their temper. Consider talking to someone you trust about these feelings. Sometimes just sharing can make a huge difference.
It sounds like you're really beating yourself up over this. Try being kinder to yourself. We all have moments we regret, but it doesn't define who we are. Focus on the times you did hold back and give yourself credit for that.