What should I do if I yell at my neighbor because of my temperament and he hears me?

We have read your account and we will analyze it together.

It's tough to get along with inconsiderate neighbors. You say you're on the third floor and you're loud, and they all hear you. Then you say the neighbors on the first floor complain about you every day, and you really hear them.

First of all, you don't know if they actually heard you scold them. You just suspect that they heard you, right?

You need to confirm some of these things. He is on the first floor, and you are on the third floor. There is still some distance between the first and third floors, so how did you hear it?

You said you heard them once when you passed by the first floor. Did they mention your name? How do you know they're talking about you every day?

Do you use social media to vent? Or did you hear voices from the first floor?

All of this needs to be verified. Is there anyone else in your household? Your family can discuss this with you and listen together to find out who exactly is gossiping about you and what nasty things they are saying.

Second, you said that the whole neighborhood had heard about it. I think you probably also suspect that the whole neighborhood has heard about it, not that you know for sure that everyone is really talking about you. This is precisely the reason for your personality.

You say you are sensitive and vulnerable, but you might be being a little too sensitive. What if these things are not what you think? What if no one is paying attention to you and no one is talking about you?

What would you do?

Also, if you make this your main concern, you will devote all your energy to it. It will grow and grow in your mind, becoming more and more burdensome.

You take what you suspect as true. Ignore it. The more you don't want this matter, the faster it will disappear.

For example, imagine your mind is a room. You can put this matter in a box in your room. You know it's there, but you don't need to pay attention to it now. You don't need to deal with it urgently. You can just put it in that remote place and deal with it later.

You should meet with a psychological counselor to discuss this matter in depth and then deal with it.

You need to focus on your strengths and virtues as well as your shortcomings if you want to accept yourself better. If you want to change, you should read psychology books. I recommend "Social Psychology."

The World and I Love You

Hello, question asker.

We yelled back on the third floor because the first floor was too noisy. We were protecting ourselves. If we yelled at someone else, would we feel targeted?

We'll hear lots of voices, maybe from our neighbors or our hearts. Darling, there's only us. As long as we don't feel accused, we won't mind these voices.

These voices are real. They've been in our heads for a long time. We beat ourselves up because of them. We wonder if we're not good enough. We ask why we lashed out. We ask what they're saying. The moment is important.

Be brave. It doesn't matter what they say. I like myself. We have our own ideas, even if they don't like me.

It's okay to be emotional and express your emotions. You won't blame yourself too much.

Some people will still make us feel uncomfortable. We can avoid them if we want to. We just need to be ourselves. We can argue with these voices in our hearts.

Is this just a thought? Maybe it didn't happen. Even if it did, I know myself. They don't know me. I'm enough. I have moods, but they don't affect me. I have a better future.

Best wishes! I'm overdue. One Psychology World and I Love You.

Hello, I am Xin Tan, and I'm here to support you as Coach Fei Yun. I hope that 2023 will be a happy year for you.

I can see that you're struggling with a lot of difficult emotions right now. It's understandable that after you've expressed your anger, your neighbors might continue to belittle, criticize, accuse, and even attack you personally. It's natural to feel guilty about your previous rash behavior, and it's understandable to feel worried and fearful. It can be challenging to know how to get along with your neighbors, and even simple tasks like going in and out of the house can feel overwhelming.

Let's take a moment to embrace each other and address the challenges that are on our minds.

1. It is important to allow yourself to feel angry, but it is equally important to ensure that you do not act out your anger.

The neighbors on the first floor are very noisy, which may have affected your life and triggered your angry emotions. At the same time, you are disgusted by their uncivilized words and actions, which caused you to lose control for a moment and use extreme behavior to vent your anger. However, the other party noticed, and a series of unfortunate scenes ensued.

It is okay to feel angry, but it is important to remember not to act on it. One way to handle this is to say, "I'm angry. The noise from my neighbor is affecting my life and that makes me angry."

When you are aware and accept your emotions, you may also feel the important message that anger conveys to you: you want to be respected, your original life not disturbed/disrupted, and to have your own free space.

However, if you express your anger with insults and the other person hears you, that could be perceived as an act of anger. It's possible that suppressing your anger and attacking inwardly might lead to depression, and that attacking outwardly could potentially destroy relationships.

And "awareness" means seeing emotions and perceiving the respect you want behind them. This can open up new possibilities and help you feel more free.

2. Following the incident, you tend to blame yourself and find it challenging to face each day.

Your remorse and self-blame have unfortunately led you to self-denial and self-doubt, which has resulted in feelings of gloom and negativity. When you realize what you did wrong, it is a positive step to take responsibility for your own actions.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that turning self-blame into responsibility could be a way of taking back the initiative. It's possible that self-blame may focus you on the past, which could make you feel negative about yourself and result in a constant drain of energy.

If I might suggest, responsibility is focused on the present or the future, learning from past events, giving you hope and strength. In this way, your worries and fears can be replaced by thinking about what you can do now to prevent or avoid what you are worried about.

For instance, a heartfelt apology or a gesture of goodwill could be beneficial. It's often the case that there are multiple ways to approach a situation, and it's worth exploring them.

It is also worth noting that criticism and accusations from neighbors may be a way for them to express their emotions. It is possible that they are longing to be respected and seen, but their emotional needs may not be being met. Once their needs are met, their emotions may naturally disappear, as their role as "messengers" will have been fulfilled.

You might consider trying to re-establish a good relationship with your neighbors. One way to do this could be by greeting them proactively, sharing snacks with them, and helping them with small tasks within your abilities. It's possible that changing the original interaction model could naturally change the relationship. People often get along with each other.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, The person who feels overwhelmed by their neighbor's saliva.

After reading your message, I felt suffocated. I was alone and cautious about my breathing. I felt like losing my temper but was afraid to. Was this your feeling?

We live in a society where we encounter all kinds of people. Some people make us like them, while some people we find hard to accept. We admire and praise people we like, but complain about people we don't like. These are normal reactions. If we want to, we can complain like them or stop complaining.

You say they hear your complaints and are targeting you. Is this true?

Did you hear or ask if they were laughing at you?

Tell me or write down what happened. Be as specific as you can. I think you're sensitive and afraid of not doing enough. You care too much about what others think of you.

You were triggered by swearing and speaking ill of others. You felt self-critical and worried about the consequences. You magnified your feelings and needed others to validate your thoughts.

These are just my assumptions. You should clarify based on your feelings. I recommend writing to see if these feelings really exist or if we're projecting them out of fear.

When you are caught up in an emotional experience, you can try to untangle yourself by writing or talking to yourself. Follow these steps: 1. I noticed that I was thinking: 2. I noticed that I had these emotions: 3. I noticed that I had these thoughts: 4. I noticed that I had these physical reactions:

6. These feelings are normal. They come and go.

Thank your brain and body for the information and experience.

Then, focus on the present.

I suggest you seek professional help. Go to your local mental health center for a simple assessment and start treatment or counseling. We all need support, and a counselor will help you through this period.

You can find ways to deal with your negative emotions, sensitivity, and social issues.

You can also listen to the Yixinli reading club: "Life Script," "High Sensitivity," and "Mr. Toad."

Don't be discouraged if you don't do well. You have the right to love and take care of yourself.

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can tell you're feeling a bit anxious and impatient. But you're also taking the initiative to talk about problems and find solutions, which is great.

You described an incident where noise and rudeness from upstairs affected you. You took the initiative to vent your emotions, but were criticized by others. You cared more about the sounds and feelings, so you felt unpleasantness and anxiety. Is that right?

You did nothing wrong. You went up to argue with them and their quarrel was fruitless, so you got angry and let it out.

If a miracle happens and that uncomfortable feeling disappears, you'll be in a whole new state of mind. What have you done to make this happen?

From your description, I can tell you need to make some changes. I have some small suggestions for you, and I'm confident they'll help.

First, adjust your mindset.

In the description of traditional Chinese medicine, I don't agree with their behavior at the time. We can't change other people, but we can adjust our mentality, put ourselves in the right position, and be a better version of ourselves. When we do our best, we will become stronger inside and make progress every day, which will lead to improvement.

Don't care about other people's words.

I know you may feel I'm talking in circles, but I'm telling you the truth. You need to learn to do your own thing, protect yourself, and not care what other people say. You haven't done anything wrong. We can't stop other people's words and actions, but we can strengthen our own hearts and not care about them. We can't change other people's opinions and words, but we can strengthen our own hearts.

There's a saying that goes, "Dear, there's no one else out there but ourselves. We can't change it, so we don't care about him."

Next, learn to protect yourself.

It is crucial for an individual to prioritize their own well-being and safety. If faced with a challenging situation, you have the option to seek assistance from the police or your neighborhood committee. Regardless of the circumstances, it is essential to safeguard your own interests. Even if you encounter negative sentiments from others, it is vital to learn how to protect yourself and avoid being influenced by external factors. You have the power to create a protective barrier around yourself, ensuring you remain unaffected by external pressures.

If they scold you in front of you and make you feel uncomfortable, the first thing you do is call the police.

I want to tell you one last thing: no matter what others do, we have to accept the good and learn to protect ourselves. When we encounter problems that we cannot solve on our own, the first thing that comes to mind is to call the police. Secondly, we should tap into our inner selves, do our own thing, and not let others' words interfere. Only in this way can we find peace within ourselves, and we will be able to go further and further, becoming happier and happier.