What should I do if I'm a 24-year-old girl who has been relying on a long-term confidant and advisor?

Dear questioner,

After reading your question, I have a few thoughts that I'm happy to share with you!

First, it's important to accept yourself, warts and all. If you're struggling with something, it's a great idea to chat with a counselor. Every emotion needs an outlet, so if you feel like talking is the best way to move forward, embrace it! When you talk, you're not just sharing your thoughts, but also listening to the other person and learning from their perspective. You might even find some helpful tips for problem-solving in their words.

Second, don't make your emotional outlet the only one. That is to say, in addition to talking to a counselor, you can also find other outlets for your emotions. For example, when you're feeling depressed, you can find an empty place to let out your anger; when you're a little unstable and irritable, you can listen to some music; when you're feeling lost and don't know what to do, you can go to the gym and let it all out in a good sweat. After trying and finding different ways to express your emotions, you'll realize that you won't just turn to a counselor when you feel emotional again.

Finally, I'd really encourage you to try to establish new interpersonal relationships, reach out to different people through different channels, establish different interpersonal relationships, and make more connections for yourself. You can also try to pick up your old hobbies and develop them, so that your life is more fulfilling and the impact of negative emotions is reduced.

I hope these ideas are helpful for you! Please feel free to use them as a reference. Wishing you all the best!

Good morning, It is a pleasure to see you again. Let us proceed to explore this question together.

The long-term benefits of confiding in and depending on a confidant

I was uncertain and in a less than optimal frame of mind.

I suggest that the original poster read the book "Mr. Toad Goes to the Counseling Office." This book can provide a deeper understanding of psychological counseling and, more importantly, a better understanding of oneself. Reading this book is akin to engaging in a personal dialogue.

What are the underlying factors that have shaped my personality and character? What does the concept of "home" mean to me?

One might inquire whether misfortune in life is the result of one's parents or one's own actions. After reading the book, readers may find themselves reflecting on similar questions.

This book encourages readers to engage in self-reflection and thought about their own lives.

Please find below some excerpts from Mr. Toad.

"I believe that to be the case. For an extended period, I have held that belief intermittently.

Naturally, there were periods when everything appeared to be going well, and I felt capable of taking action. However, my enthusiasm would eventually wane, and I would lose the motivation to pursue activities, leading me to revert to a state of familiar sadness.

This is the only way I can describe it, and this is how I feel at the moment.

"I am unsure if this was intentional, but there are times when I perceive our relationship to be akin to that of a parent and child. I frequently seek guidance from you, and I consistently anticipate hearing insights from you that can provide clarity."

It is essential to evaluate, reflect, and make changes independently. Given that the relationship with the counselor is limited to consultation, it is not feasible to rely on them exclusively. Ultimately, the responsibility for personal change lies with the individual.

You may wish to attempt to resolve the issue independently. It may also be beneficial for you to collate and document the previous consultations you have had.

I hope this information is helpful to you.

Hello, I'm Flying, your heart exploration coach.

I like how you notice things.

You've recognized that you depend on confiding and that there are pros and cons to a long-term confiding process.

This is a great start! It all comes from your proactive and positive attitude.

I've got a few tips for you:

1. Reflect on how satisfied you've been with previous conversations.

"Dependence" can also be seen as a kind of addiction from a certain perspective.

"Dependence" can also be seen as somewhat addictive from a certain perspective.

The idea behind evolutionary psychology is that the human mind is basically an information-processing device that has been shaped by natural selection.

The idea behind evolutionary psychology is that the human mind is basically an information-processing device that has been shaped by natural selection.

Its purpose is to help us deal with the challenges we face in order to survive.

In other words, as Darwin said, "survival of the fittest."

The brain has a set of built-in response procedures that it uses to help us survive. These are like the software that comes pre-installed on a computer. They're there from the moment we're born, and they're pretty similar from one person to the next.

As you mentioned, depending on the topic, talking can have both positive and negative effects.

Everything has two sides: advantages and disadvantages. Psychology says that behavior is only meaningful in the context of the environment.

You need to take practical action now. Take the guidance and advice given by your teachers and combine them with your own ideas. Cut down on the number of professional counseling sessions you have and combine them with other activities to help you learn, grow, and make breakthroughs.

2. Look for ways to achieve self-satisfaction that don't involve other people.

When you confide in others, you get the chance to be seen, affirmed, understood, and respected. You also feel safe and trusted.

It gives you a way to release your emotions.

It's only when you feel satisfied that you become hooked and develop a certain dependence.

Let's look at it from another angle: In life, can your family and friends be your listeners? Can you get more strength and support from the people closest to you and the people who know you best?

You can also write down your emotional stories. Alternatively, you can act as your own "spiritual mentor" and write back to yourself, leave messages, and give advice.

This approach can help you heal and recover.

Needless to say, if you require assistance, you can always contact a counselor or listener.

So, let's look at it from another perspective. In life, can your family and friends be your listeners? Can you get more strength and support from the people closest to you and the people who know you best? You can also write down your emotional stories. On the other hand, you can be your own "spiritual mentor" and write back to yourself, leave messages, and give advice. Through this way of "talking" and "chatting"

Finally, we'll look at the five stages of life.

Chapter 1

I was walking down the street when I saw a deep hole in the pavement. I fell in, got lost, and felt desperate. I realized it wasn't my fault, and it took a lot of effort to climb out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street, and there's a deep hole in the pavement. I try to ignore it, but I still fall in. I can't believe I fell in the same place twice.

But it wasn't my fault, and it still took me a while to get back on my feet.

Chapter 3

I walked down the same street, and there was a deep hole in the pavement. I saw him there. But I fell in anyway. It was a habit. I was aware of what I was doing, and I knew I was there. It was my fault.

I got out right away.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street, and there's a deep hole in the pavement. I walk around it.

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I decided to walk down a different street.

I hope this is helpful to you, and I wish you all the best.

If you want to keep in touch, just click "Find a coach" in the top right or bottom of the page. I'll be in touch and we can work together one-on-one.

Good morning! I extend my warmest regards from afar.

I commend you for recognizing that you are overly reliant on the counselor because you are unable to handle your emotions independently. Awareness is the first step towards positive change.

It is important to note that a person's dependence on another individual, even a counselor, is not primarily due to a direct dependence on that person. Rather, it is often the result of a specific positive experience that occurs when the individual is in the presence of the other person. This experience may fulfill certain physical and mental needs that the individual may not be able to meet independently. These needs may be particularly important and difficult to fulfill, and they may not be easily met by other people. It is essential to understand this aspect of dependence and its underlying causes.

It is therefore permissible and acceptable to have a certain degree of dependence on the counselor. It is important to be aware of which of your inner needs are being met when you are with the counselor. For example, you may feel seen, listened to, accompanied, respected, understood, supported, affirmed, accepted, or cared about, or that your value is recognized.

When you are able to identify your own unmet needs in the context of counseling, you will attempt to address these needs through your own actions. For instance, you may try to emulate the counselor's approach.

1. To gain a deeper understanding of your emotions, take time to practice deep breathing exercises. Keeping an emotional diary is also a helpful tool for recording your emotions and identifying underlying needs.

2. It is important not to reject, deny, or negate negative emotions. As emotions are driven by unmet expectations and needs, it is essential to recognize, accept, and respond to them.

3. Frequently, the cause of our discomfort and evident mood swings is not external factors or interpersonal interactions, but rather our perception and interpretation of the events we experience. It is therefore essential that we actively seek to enhance and modify our cognitive model.

4. Establish positive lifestyle habits, such as going to bed and waking up at regular times, engaging in moderate exercise, reading, and other activities that promote mental calm.

My name is Lily, and I am the Q&A Museum listener. I extend my best wishes to you and the world.

Hello, questioner!

I've become dependent on a psychological counselor, feel lost, and often have bad moods. I need help sorting this out.

A counselor can empathize with us very well, making us feel understood and supported. This can temporarily improve our emotions.

We can learn some methods of self-emotion regulation with the help of a counselor and try to apply them when we feel emotions. However, real change requires concrete actions, which means we have to practice on our own. This is where counselors are powerless and cannot help us solve specific life events.

Both of these require time. Everyone faces different situations, different environments, and different temperaments, and the time required is different. We can reduce our dependence on counselors by following these suggestions:

(1) When you feel emotional, think about the methods mentioned by the counselor and use them to solve the problem yourself. These methods can be narrative therapy, distraction, exercise to relieve emotions, etc.

(2) Do something that calms your mind. For example, read a book, keep a dog, or plant flowers.

When we are personally involved in something and experience a pleasant flow of energy from it, our mood will improve.

(3) Increase the time of delayed gratification.

When we feel emotional, we should stop thinking of a therapist as our immediate solution and start thinking of ways to cheer ourselves up. If we keep going in this cycle, it will be difficult for us to grow.

Don't seek a counselor when you have such thoughts. Use the methods you've learned to relieve the pressure first. Only seek a counselor when it's truly unbearable.

You should gradually reduce the frequency with which you seek counseling.

(4) Allow yourself to feel sad or depressed sometimes.

Emotions are generated by our perception of events or setbacks in life or at work. It is normal to have emotions, and there is no need to force ourselves to be "happy and cheerful" when it is not the right time.

Let your emotions run free for a while.

(5) Change the perspective.

As mentioned earlier, emotions are generated by our perception of events. The same thing may make some people feel sad, while others may not think it's a big deal. You can change your perception of events and people by analyzing them from a positive perspective, thereby changing your emotions.

Give yourself time. It's the best medicine for healing all wounds.

(7) Be grateful for your resilience in the face of suffering. Use your strength to comfort and motivate yourself.

I am confident that this will help.

Best regards!

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope I can be of assistance.

Demonstrating self-awareness and the ability to view actions from multiple perspectives is an indication of personal accountability. Let's collaboratively address how to manage emotions that may not be optimal.

First, identify the emotion. When you feel that your emotions are not productive, identify the emotion: is it irritability, frustration, sadness, helplessness, anger, etc.? The clearer the label, the more you can see the underlying needs and the easier it is to find an effective solution.

Secondly, it is important to identify alternative outlets for your emotions. Once you have become aware of your dependence on long-term confiding and feel that it is of limited effect, it is essential to consciously change your approach and find more ways to regulate your emotions. This could include activities such as writing, exercising, meditating, chatting with friends and family, and so on. These can complement confiding and allow you to relieve your emotions while giving you a greater sense of control and strength.

Third, maintain a state of emotional equilibrium. Accept the ebb and flow of emotions, whether positive or negative. Strive to achieve a state of emotional stability, which will allow you to understand yourself better and focus on achieving your goals without letting emotions impede your progress.

Allow for room for improvement and believe in your ability to make positive changes.

I wish you a rewarding day.