What should I do if my boyfriend fails to meet my needs and I keep thinking about breaking up?

Dear, when I read your question, it's like I'm seeing a confused fawn. You seem a little lost in love, insecure, anxious, and spinning around in a panic.

I think you love him a lot. You want to know how he is all the time and hope to receive his attention every moment.

Have you noticed that there seems to be some control involved?

For instance, if your boyfriend is sometimes unavailable, unresponsive, or unsatisfactory, you'll likely feel anxious, frustrated, and tempted to end the relationship.

Put simply, deep down you don't allow your boyfriend to do this. You may think that this behavior of his is a way of neglecting you, ignoring you, and not loving you.

This "disapproval" also shows that you want to be in control and that you want your boyfriend to act the same way you do.

I don't think anyone likes to be controlled by someone. If your boyfriend tells you what you can and can't do and makes all kinds of demands on you, would you be happy?

So, when you recognize your desire for control, learn to accept yourself, accept what happens outside your control, accept your boyfriend for who he is, and give him the space he needs.

I think you're very dependent on him. When he does something to make you happy, you're happy. When he ignores you, you're sad.

You're emotionally dependent on him and give him all your emotions, so he controls your moods. His actions affect you deeply, making you laugh and cry.

In reality, whether we're in a relationship or single, we should take control of our emotions and take charge of ourselves. We can rely on each other to a certain extent, but we must also maintain a certain degree of independence.

People often debate what constitutes the best form of love. In my opinion, it's about mutual support, understanding, and growth.

So, we need to learn to be independent and grow from within if we want to become a better version of ourselves.

Looking through these emotions, it seems like you might be a bit self-doubting.

Why do you feel anxious when your boyfriend ignores you? It's probably because you doubt whether he still loves you and you're wondering what's happened to him.

Your lack of self-confidence might be causing these doubts. It's possible you're afraid you're not good enough to attract your boyfriend.

It's this fear, doubt, and worry that makes you focus all your attention on your boyfriend, hiding your lack of self-confidence.

Instead of worrying about losing, focus on building your skills.

There's a saying that goes, "If you bloom, the butterflies will come."

Let yourself become the kind of person who is attractive to everyone. By then, your boyfriend may have to worry about losing you.

Dear colleague, While love can change from one person to two, becoming a better version of yourself can make those around you happy because of you.

Come on, the world and I think you're great!

Hi, I've taken a look at your question and I hope I can help.

You feel like you don't have a sense of security in your relationship with your boyfriend. Often, when you feel conflicted and uncomfortable about your boyfriend not answering your calls promptly, you want to end things with him.

Has this kind of situation only happened with your boyfriend, or has it also happened with other friends? Do you feel that the other person doesn't value you, doesn't love you, and doesn't feel safe with you when they interpret your actions as not answering the phone immediately?

Even if it turns out that the other person is just too busy to answer the phone, you still feel worried inside, which causes intense anxiety. This anxiety is so great that it sometimes makes you want to end the relationship.

Let's look at how we can resolve our inner fears, anxieties, and conflicts together.

It's important to build self-confidence. Be aware of your inner worries, fear of your boyfriend leaving, and even wanting to break up first to prevent the hurt of the other party leaving. So, where does this worry come from?

Figure out what's really going on underneath the surface and work through it to boost your confidence.

Be open and honest with your boyfriend. Tell him about your concerns and the problems you're facing, and ask for his help in working through them together. Try different ways of communicating with each other to deal with the issue of being unable to respond quickly when you're busy.

Intimacy: Learn about intimacy and understand the different issues that men and women face in relationships. Deal with problems in intimacy in a logical way, respond positively, and manage your expectations in a positive way.

Hello.

The original poster is...

After carefully reading the post, it's clear to me that the poster lacks confidence. However, I also see that he's courageous in expressing his distress and actively seeking help. This will undoubtedly help him better understand himself and adjust his approach to have a better intimate relationship.

Next, I will share my observations and thoughts in the post, which will undoubtedly help the poster gain a deeper understanding of themselves.

1. Fear of loss

The poster is considering breaking up because their expectations aren't being met, such as not replying to messages or answering the phone. What does this breakup mean?

We think about breaking up because we're afraid of losing, being hurt, and losing control. But we're the ones who want to break up, so we control the relationship. Even if we get hurt, it's still manageable.

It's always better to punish yourself than let someone else do it.

On the other hand, we are afraid of breaking up because of fear. We project this fear onto the other person, thinking that they are also afraid of breaking up. This makes us feel cherished. If the other person really wants to break up, we will be very afraid again.

So, thinking about breaking up is just a way to make the other person care about you and keep you within their control. This way, you will feel a little safer.

2. Deal with your emotions first, then deal with things.

From the post, I can see that sometimes when he doesn't answer the phone or return messages, I get anxious and wonder if he doesn't love me anymore. I can feel the anxiety of the poster.

When our hearts are full of emotions, there is no room for rational thinking. Emotions and rationality are two sides of the same coin. The poster needs to understand this and take control. She needs to deal with her emotions first, and then deal with things.

Instead of making a series of urgent calls, take a deep breath and calm yourself down.

Then hold your breath for a few seconds, exhale slowly through your mouth, and relax your body at the same time. This will help you feel better. After calming down, tell yourself, "He doesn't love me anymore." This is just your perception, not the truth. He is busy right now, but he still said he loved me this morning. Find the truth that he loves you.

3. You need to reconcile with the past.

The original poster is insecure because she thinks her boyfriend doesn't love her.

You need to ask yourself why you are so insecure. The answer is simple: your lack of self-confidence, your lack of love for yourself, your belief that you don't deserve to be treated well, and your belief that you have no value.

She is sensitive and afraid that her boyfriend doesn't love her.

The original poster needs to find out why she has no sense of worth. She needs to understand what has shaped the person she is today.

The host can use an adult's perspective to examine their own growth experience, identify the factors that led to their low self-evaluation, and address any unreasonable aspects. If necessary, they can make adjustments, reconcile with the past, and heal old wounds.

4. Accept your true self.

People who lack confidence often focus on their shortcomings and ignore their strengths. However, everyone has strengths, and it's essential to learn to appreciate yourself.

Know your strengths and know your weaknesses. Only then can you accept yourself.

I'll tell you what true self-acceptance is.

We must accept what we cannot change and focus our energy on what we can change. This will help us become a better version of ourselves. Don't compete with yourself. Instead, accept your imperfections in some areas and excel in the areas where you're strong.

Those who truly accept themselves have a strong sense of self-worth.

I am Zeng Chen, a certified psychosynthesis coach, and I am confident that these words will be of some help and inspiration to the poster.

Hello, question asker!

Dear, Your title suggests you are caught in a battle between two opposing forces: one that feels loved and one that feels unlovable. These two sides take turns controlling your mind, leaving you overwhelmed and unsure of how to navigate your own thoughts.

The power of "I'm not worthy of love" is stronger. You always feel like your boyfriend is going to abandon you, and you feel so small and powerless in front of him.

I am a marriage mediator. Based on my experience and observations, I will share my thoughts on a few issues.

What happens to people who feel insecure in their relationships? Girls in love or marriage will feel anxious about losing their loved ones to others, or about their love growing cold. They will think about how they have gone from being a princess to becoming Cinderella, and how their luxurious carriage has turned into a pumpkin.

This is a scary scenario, but it's not true.

It's only a matter of time before it happens. Many people are already trembling with fear at the scenario they have written themselves long before it happens. The only thing we can do is pick up the phone and keep "confirming" with the other person that we are happy and safe.

The other person will be mentally and physically exhausted by our "confirmations."

2. What should we do? I remembered a passage from a book I had read before: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they are yours forever. If they don't, they never were.

There's another image that's helpful here: feelings are like sand in your hands. The harder you squeeze, the less sand you have. So if you focus all your attention on your boyfriend, he'll feel watched, bound, and pressed.

Instead, we should gather our strength, pay attention to ourselves, and become the wonderful woman that he doesn't dare to risk losing. The rest is up to him to choose. If we are good enough, he will restrain himself and not want to lose the wonderful us!

3. I need to know what will help my anxious self.

Improve yourself through learning. Read some self-growth books to help you grow, such as the series of books by Zhang Defen, Embrace Your Inner Child, etc. You will improve yourself by attending growth salons organized by psychological institutions.

If you're struggling with anxiety, take a few minutes for yourself. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and focus on your breathing. Our brains can only focus on one thing at a time, so if you focus on your breathing, you'll be able to calm your mind. It's like when a storm comes and the sea level becomes rough—breathing will take you to the calm sea.

Meditate your way to calm with the guided meditations on the Yi Xinli platform.

Enjoy your time in love!

Dear Questioner, Thank you for your question.

After reading your question, I could clearly see the anxiety, fear, unease, worry, and other negative emotions in your pain.

1. I want to know how to fulfill my partner's wants in a relationship.

I want to break up with my boyfriend whenever he doesn't meet my needs. When my boyfriend doesn't meet my expectations, such as not replying to messages or answering the phone, I want a breakup. I'm torn, but I know what I want.

I love my boyfriend and I'm not afraid of breaking up. I've been with him for almost three years, and sometimes when he doesn't answer the phone or return my messages, I get anxious and wonder if he doesn't love me anymore.

I know he doesn't reply because he's annoyed at work and wants to be left alone. I understand his behavior, but I still feel anxious.

In this part,

Questioner: You really hope that your boyfriend can always meet your needs, right? Because you said that if he can't satisfy you, you'll break up.

This can also be interpreted as meaning that your boyfriend can basically meet your needs most of the time. Why do you say that he can basically meet your needs most of the time?

We're not robots. You've probably heard a lot of stories over the past three years.

Your love for him is evident in your ability to care about him and love him despite the pain and desire to break up caused by his actions.

We are human beings, people with all kinds of emotions, and people who cannot control our emotions. Your boyfriend is no exception.

He may not be able to take care of his own needs at times. If he is not in the right state of mind, he is not going to be able to meet your needs.

We can't always satisfy our own needs.

The answer is a definitive no.

Take control. When you feel fear or anxiety because your partner isn't paying attention, take action to make yourself feel better.

The answer is also maybe not. You may not be able to always get your needs met from your boyfriend, but you can still get them met from us, the answerers, your close friends, your parents, etc.

This way, your boyfriend won't feel too tired either. And you certainly won't feel that he doesn't love you and wants to break up with you or do things that hurt your relationship.

2. Let's talk about the negative emotional feelings we experience.

Let's be clear: negative emotions like anxiety, unease, and fear are directly related to your boyfriend not meeting your needs. They're also likely related to your parents and the pandemic. In fact, there are many factors at play.

However, it's important to understand that emotions are neither good nor bad. They are simply important messengers in our lives. If we want to push them away, reject them, and hate them,

We often act in ways that we ourselves are not sure about. The questioner wants to break up, but is afraid of the nature of the thing behind the breakup. What is it?

You say you still love your boyfriend, but you want to break up because he doesn't meet your needs. He thinks the same about you. Is this love?

It's not easy to sort things out. Many people are unable to really sort out their relationship problems.

Relationships are about two living, real people getting to know, meeting, and falling in love. They are not about two perfect lovers getting along, which can be accomplished through copying homework or some other simplified method.

When you encounter similar situations, take care of your heart. Spend time with your emotions when you feel fear, unease, or anxiety.

You will find the answer that belongs to your life's script.

I call my parents every day.

You're used to calling him every day to share what happened, just like you usually call your parents. So, when he doesn't answer, you get anxious too. It's fine when the relationship is good, but when it's just so-so, you feel anxious. You find it hard to put up with this behavior and want to break up.

It is evident that the relationship between the questioner and their parents is relatively good and integrated. A healthy relationship between adults is characterised by intimacy.

You're used to getting along with your parents, and you're comfortable with that. But your boyfriend makes you feel anxious, uneasy, and fearful. You feel like your relationship isn't as strong as it was at the beginning. It's becoming more ordinary.

You will want to grab his attention, care, and love.

However, as adults, we must be vigilant against overly integrated relationships. An overly integrated relationship is a symbiotic relationship, and it can be with your parents or your partner.

However, there is a risk of symbiotic strangulation, which means that the souls of the two of you, as living beings, are sharing a single body.

4. Try co-dependent separation.

You can achieve co-dependent separation from your parents, that is, mental weaning. You are already an adult, so allow yourself to be intimate with your parents and also allow your boyfriend to be intimate with you.

This kind of relationship will make you and your boyfriend healthier and more nourished over time.

I hope the above answers are helpful to you. The world and I love you.

Hello, I'm Jiusi, a psychological counselor at Yixin, and I'm so excited to help you!

From your description, I can sense your anxiety, which is totally normal! The fact that your boyfriend didn't reply to your messages in time makes you feel uncomfortable, but I'm sure he'll get back to you soon.

I think this situation occurs in couples who have been in love for three years, which is a great foundation to build on!

I don't know if the original poster has ever taken a test, but it would be so interesting to find out! Could it be that we are attachment-type personalities who lack a sense of security?

There are six stages in a relationship, and they're all exciting in their own way!

1. The period of passion

The first three months of any relationship are always a time of passion, what we call the honeymoon period. It's a truly magical time when the two people in the relationship see each other as perfect in every way, with all the best qualities, and are especially willing to spend time with each other. No matter what they do, they put the other person first, which is a wonderful thing to see!

This is such an exciting time! At this stage, the two people have a strong tolerance for each other and can forgive each other no matter what. They also love to focus on each other's strengths and choose to overlook their weaknesses.

2. The Cold Period

This is a challenging stage for everyone involved. The man may feel that the woman is being difficult and wonders why she is so insecure and wants to be in contact every day. The woman may feel that the man has changed. He was so passionate not long ago, but now he has suddenly disappeared. This is an opportunity for the two to understand each other better, to trust each other more, and to communicate more effectively.

3. Peak of quarrels

The cooling-off period and the peak period of quarrels are actually inseparable. In this stage, the two will argue at the slightest disagreement, and they will be torn between the desire to see each other and the fear of seeing each other. But this is all part of the journey!

However, we should absolutely not be afraid of arguments and conflicts! We should just make sure we're not arguing just for the sake of arguing. We should approach every argument with the attitude of solving problems, so that you can get through this stage and continue to grow and stabilize your relationship!

4. The peak of breakups

During the previous stage of peak arguments, couples have the opportunity to choose a positive path forward. They can either get better and better, or they can break up.

I think it's not scary to have arguments or conflicts. In fact, I think they're an opportunity for growth and understanding! Many girls just get angry all the time without telling their boyfriends what they're angry about. This is an opportunity for them to express their feelings and work through them together. Many guys always feel like their girlfriends don't understand them, but they just don't say what's on their mind. This is an opportunity for them to communicate their needs and desires.

I think these two types of people are destined to discover new ways of getting along! After all, couples who want to go the distance must tell each other what's on their mind and communicate sincerely, hoping to resolve problems and then go the distance.

So at this stage, it's up to us to decide whether our relationship will end here or get even sweeter! Sometimes, a little selfishness is necessary, but we also need to let go of our excessive pride. After all, it's not easy to meet the right person, so we should cherish every moment!

5. The stable period

I truly believe that two people who can make it through the roughest part of a breakup will definitely enter a new and exciting stage in their relationship! At this point, the two of them have already gone through the challenging period of not being able to see each other's flaws. They have slowly come to understand each other's good and bad sides, and they have also been able to accept it all!

6. You're ready to take the next step and live together!

Eighty percent of couples in the world will eventually break up, but don't worry! Only 20% will be able to reach the stage where they cannot live without each other. You can work together to move forward and enter the hall of marriage, telling each other that no matter what happens, in sickness and in health, in disaster and in calamity, I am willing to be with you and never leave your side.

At this stage, the two of you will still argue, still get angry, and still find things about each other you don't like. But there is still a hint of sweetness in your dislike, which means there's still hope!

The questioner can take a look at our current situation and figure out the best way forward.

I really hope my answer is helpful! I really, really hope that the questioner can overcome the current confusion soon!

Thank you so much for your time! I'm Jiusi from Yixinli, and I love you all!

Hello!

From your description, I can see a lot: your sincerity, your care for this relationship, and I can also feel your anxiety. The source of this anxiety is not only the anger and sadness caused by your boyfriend's actions, but also your feeling of being overwhelmed and scared by the thought of breaking up.

I have a few suggestions for you to consider:

First, accept that you have any thoughts. Acceptance means not judging or criticizing.

Everything happens for a reason, and there must be a reason for any thought you have. You are not wrong.

The next time an idea pops up, tell yourself, "So what if I have the thought of breaking up?" Even in the happiest marriage, there are at least 50 times when you want to strangle your partner and 100 times when you want to get a divorce.

Forget about the thoughts. What matters is how you act.

And don't forget positive self-suggestion.

Second, when this anxiety of wanting to break up strikes again, you must tell yourself to slow down.

1. Write down your emotions. Include all your anxieties, all your fears, and all your anger or sadness.

The amazing thing is that when emotions are perceived, their power diminishes.

I want to share a line from the movie Dune with you because it really resonates with me.

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer."

Fear is a little death that brings complete destruction. I will face my fear head-on, let it pass through my body, and when it is all gone, I will open my heart to see its path.

"Fear is all that is left of me."

Awareness is the beginning of growth.

2. Find the source of your emotions. Many emotions are reminders of past traumas in your heart, and they are crying out for healing.

You must go back to the source to find the answer.

Think slowly. What images come to mind when you think about your emotions when your boyfriend doesn't answer the phone? What have you experienced in the past that makes you feel this way?

You must reconcile with the past if you want to heal yourself.

Third, distract yourself. Love is the icing on the cake, not the bread and butter.

The joy of life does not come solely from love. Put down the phone and divert your attention from your boyfriend to other things, especially those that bring you happiness and a sense of accomplishment.

For example, you can learn new things, participate in new activities, and make new friends. As you do these things, you will find that your urgent desire for your boyfriend to respond slowly subsides.

You deserve to be loved deeply, and you must love yourself deeply first. Build your own support system. It will help you become calmer, more relaxed, and self-sufficient in love.

You will find that the love you want—a lot and a lot of love—will come running when you have your own life and find your own "endorphins."

Fourth, adjust your mindset. Everyone expresses love differently.

You care about your boyfriend, but you don't get the attention you deserve. It's normal to feel sad about that.

However, you said he made you happy the day before, and you still feel loved and valued by him.

In fact, everyone has their own understanding of love and has been exposed to different examples of love since childhood. This means that everyone's way of expressing love is bound to be different.

Some people believe that love requires a constant response and close, active attention.

Some people believe that love means being there for the other person when they need you most, while the rest of the time, we are independent and do our own thing according to our own schedules.

You need to identify the details that show your boyfriend respects, supports, appreciates, and cares for you.

Fifth, try a different way of "asking for" something. Effective communication is crucial for maintaining a long-term relationship.

Asking for love is never wrong. We all need love. Deep love and care nourish us and give us the strength to grow. How you ask for love is important.

You have options when your boyfriend doesn't answer the phone. You can choose to dial the number again, driven by emotions such as anger or doubt.

You can also get angry afterwards and blame your boyfriend for not understanding you.

There are other options that are better for you and your long-term relationship.

For example, effective communication. You need to express your needs and propose feasible solutions.

Tell your boyfriend what you need.

(Present the facts, state your feelings, demonstrate your understanding of the other person, and propose your desired solution.)

When you don't answer my calls, I feel bad and neglected. I understand that you're under a lot of pressure at work, and it's really tough. But I expect that in the future, if you're busy, you can let me know, like give me a call back afterwards. I'll try to overcome my anxiety too, so is that okay with you?

Guys usually say yes to a sweet kiss!

In an intimate relationship, communication between a girl and her boyfriend, understanding each other, expressing your needs, and acting cute can solve most problems. In addition, you mentioned that "he doesn't reply because his work is particularly annoying and he wants to be left alone and doesn't want to hear you ramble on about useless things."

"Work is so annoying, I want to be left alone." He needs to say this explicitly. Talk to him and ask. It's often just a misunderstanding.

You have the ability to manage relationships and the potential for self-growth. You are temporarily trapped by your own mentality and thinking, but you can break free. Any close relationship is an opportunity for growth.

You will achieve a major shift in thinking, maintain the habit of self-awareness, truly reconcile with yourself, and find happiness and well-being in your intimate relationships.

Greetings.

In response to your inquiry, I extend a gesture of empathy and support. It is important to recognize that these feelings are normal and can be managed through self-care and positive coping mechanisms. By embracing a growth mindset, we can address these challenges and cultivate a sense of well-being.

I will respond to your question by addressing the following three aspects.

It is important to learn to distinguish between tasks and to recognize that not all tasks can be completed simultaneously.

Prior to meeting your boyfriend, what was your daily routine? Did you experience feelings of anxiety and worry?

What underlying concerns are present when one experiences a lack of responsiveness from a romantic partner in the form of missed calls or delayed responses to messages? Is the assumption that the partner has lost interest, become indifferent, or even ceased to love the individual?

Is this your considered opinion?

Let us consider the perspective of the other person. Is it reasonable to assume that they have the same daily responsibilities as we do, such as eating, washing, going to the toilet, working, studying, and sleeping?

It is unreasonable to expect someone to hold their phone 24 hours a day in order to reply to messages and calls in a timely manner. If someone is subjected to such demands on a daily basis, it is understandable that their thinking would be affected.

Furthermore, he is unable to lose his temper and walk away. Is there not a voice in your heart saying, "I am so tired of this. Could you please calm down a little?"

It is therefore understandable that a reply was not forthcoming in a timely manner. It is important to remember that although he is your boyfriend, he is first and foremost an individual in his own right.

It is necessary to meet one's own essential needs first in order to achieve a sense of well-being.

It is important to consider the fact that he has tolerated your presence for over three years without initiating a separation. This indicates that he holds a great deal of affection for you.

There is no inherent problem with you. Indeed, you have identified the issue and initiated the process of self-reflection. This is a commendable step, and you are fortunate to have a partner who demonstrates such love and acceptance.

The optimal state of an intimate relationship is characterized by a high level of intimacy between the partners.

A high-quality relationship is one in which there is mutual support and understanding, and in which the partners are connected. Together, they become a better person.

Let us consider an alternative perspective. If your partner were to refrain from engaging in any of the activities that contribute to their personal growth and development, such as employment, social interaction, forming friendships, or spending time with their family, you would still be dissatisfied and perceive them as inadequate.

Therefore, the issue does not lie with your boyfriend; rather, it is a matter of your inner child having not yet matured. It is essential to recognize that you require a positive response from others. Your current situation reflects a tendency to be treated as though you are still a child.

If children are not responded to positively and do not receive the comfort and psychological nourishment they require to develop, they will become anxious and restless. However, this problem can only be solved if we acknowledge the child's existence, provide them with comfort, and offer them the psychological nourishment they need to grow up.

It is an erroneous assumption to believe that another individual can satisfy one's emotional needs. Even the paternal figure who facilitated one's biological existence is incapable of providing something that he did not initially bestow. Nevertheless, there is a tendency to fantasize that someone known for a mere two or three years can act in a paternalistic manner and assume the role of a father figure.

Is that truly the objective?

It would be beneficial to begin the process of self-growth. This can be achieved by taking one step at a time to gain a better understanding of oneself and to instill a sense of security and confidence.

It would be beneficial to allow your partner some personal space as well. Allowing him to be himself and to love you in his own way will likely result in a more positive relationship dynamic.

It is evident that he has already performed his role admirably.

It is recommended that one begin the process of psychological maturation and provide support to the inner child as it develops.

In light of the aforementioned, it is uncertain whether the aforementioned has been adequately conveyed and whether the underlying issue has been identified. It is imperative to note that there is no inherent deficiency in the individual in question. The family of origin did not provide an adequate level of love and warmth, which subsequently resulted in a lack of confidence.

It is possible to achieve this state of comfort and happiness independently.

This is a beneficial outcome.

Relationships serve as a reflection of one's childhood experiences and the dynamics observed between parents. This concept is explored in depth in Wu Zhihong's books, "Why Love Hurts" and "Why Family Hurts." These texts present a wealth of case studies and detailed analyses, concluding with recommendations for fostering growth in relationships.

In lieu of pursuing reconciliation from external sources and allowing others to comprehend and gratify you, it is more prudent to facilitate the maturation of your inner child. This assertion is drawn from Cong Fei's opening remarks in his treatise, "Parenting Your Inner Child."

The book provides a plethora of methodologies and exemplars for self-growth, active self-exploration, and action. It may be read.

It is my sincere hope that my response has been of some assistance. I extend my warmest regards to you and to the entire world. I hope that you are able to mature at a pace that is comfortable for you, to cultivate a sense of security within yourself, and to experience the joy of harmonious relationships with your partners.

Dear friend, I'm happy to share your experiences. Reading your words, I see a reflection of myself. I'm now married with a baby. You need security and love. You're learning about yourself and thinking from another's perspective. This is good. When we're in a relationship, we have expectations and goals. This is understandable. Everyone wants to be cared for. We can then go forward with this person in a down-to-earth manner.

I understand how you feel, but we must love and be loved. You love your boyfriend, but you also expect love in return. This is normal, but you also need to love and accept yourself. If the other person cares about you, you will feel it. If they don't, your anxiety is unnecessary. Just be yourself and give the other person space. If you believe this relationship is real, do you still care about these expectations? Growth requires a price, but it's worth it. Stick to your original intentions.