What should I do if my younger brother, a senior in college, is addicted to online games and in a poor mental state?

Hello, question asker! I'm so excited to offer you some suggestions to help you resolve your brother's current problems after listening to Bin describe his brother's current predicament.

I totally get why you're worried about your brother. It's tough when you're facing the pressure of your thesis, the failure of the postgraduate entrance exam, and the resulting emotional distress. It's only natural for young people to turn to online games for a temporary escape and relaxation.

In this case, his behavior is a way of coping with the frustration he feels in reality. We can help him by showing him enough understanding and care.

Online games can be a great way to unwind and have fun, but if they become an inappropriate psychological defense mechanism, it's time to rethink your strategy! In psychology, this is called "avoidant behavior."

It's not just your physical health that suffers from excessive gaming. Your psychological well-being is also at risk. Irregular work and rest schedules can lead to biological clock disorders, which can make dark circles under your eyes worse. It's a vicious cycle!

It's so important to help him realize that although playing games can bring temporary psychological comfort, long-term avoidance cannot solve problems. On the contrary, he may miss the critical period for graduation, which will have a negative impact on his future development. But there's no reason why he can't succeed!

When a university student faced a similar predicament, in-depth communication with tutors and counselors was the key to helping him realize his avoidance behavior and develop a plan to gradually reduce gaming time and set clear learning goals.

And don't forget the power of family and friends! They can play a huge role in supporting him to have fun in the right way. After all, it's so important to encourage him to have appropriate entertainment after completing tasks, rather than indulging in the online world without restraint.

You can start with positive guidance, such as reshaping his sense of self-efficacy, by observing the younger brother's behavior pattern. Encourage him to see the failure of the postgraduate entrance examination as part of the growth, not all. Shift his attention to the actual progress of the graduation thesis, set achievable small goals, and give positive feedback for each step achieved.

And there are so many other ways to help him relax and feel better! You can suggest that he try new activities that will help relieve stress, such as sports, reading, or even participating in community projects. These can all help to adjust the pace of life and restore self-confidence.

We have an excellent suggestion for you! Why not find a suitable time to have an in-depth conversation with your younger brother in a caring and supportive manner? Listen to his feelings and confusion, and express your care and expectations.

Let's help him develop a great time management plan that ensures he gets enough study time and also allows for rest and recreation!

We highly encourage him to seek professional counseling from the school's mental health center to better deal with the negative emotions brought on by the failure of the postgraduate entrance exam.

• Be there for him with practical help, such as studying thesis materials and discussing ideas together, so he can feel the warmth of facing challenges together!

Let's create a great family atmosphere! Let's make our family a source of motivation for him to return to real life and rebuild his strength, not a source of blame and pressure.

I am confident that with the above-mentioned efforts in many areas, I can help my younger brother get out of his addiction to online games, regain a sense of control over his life, successfully complete his thesis, and grow up healthily.

Hello, I am Shu Yaping, a psychological detective coach at One Mind. I can see that you are worried about your brother's situation and care about him. I am going to share my views and help you.

Your brother's frustration is affecting his thesis and his mental state. He's choosing to play games instead. As his sister, you understand him. You're right to feel distressed and frustrated.

You've got this!

You are right to seek more powerful help from psychology because you are worried about your brother!

First of all, there is a saying in psychology that whoever has the problem is responsible for it.

People play games because they find a sense of ease and pleasure in them that they don't find in real life, as well as a sense of self-control.

You should talk to your brother more to find out what his plans are for postgraduate studies and his graduation thesis. You need to find out if there are any deep-seated needs that have not been met.

Find out if your younger brother needs your help and what kind of help he needs.

You should encourage your brother to actively explore and grow himself, find the needs behind the problem, and then encourage him to take the initiative to seek solutions to the problem and gradually get rid of excessive gaming.

Next, accept that your brother is playing games.

At one time, I was also very worried and opposed my son playing video games.

We may have good intentions, but we cannot empathize with their internal feelings of depression and distress.

I have learned to understand and accept, to allow and bless. I am grateful that playing games helped him escape the helplessness and pain of that period of time.

Trust them to take responsibility for their own lives. They are inherently good. Along with trust, there is also our care and love.

It's about caring, not worrying.

Finally, be self-aware, explore yourself, and express your concern and love to him.

I encourage you to start with self-awareness. Aside from your concern about your younger brother playing video games, what other feelings do you have? Do you experience fear or anger?

Or are you feeling disappointed and self-blame?

You must take responsibility for your own feelings and needs.

When we express our needs, expectations, and wishes more clearly, the other person will respond more positively.

Tell him what you have observed, how you feel, make your needs clear, and express your request. This is the four-step method of non-violent communication.

Your brother will feel your sincerity, care, understanding, and respect. He will communicate with you frankly and respond to you positively.

The world and I love you! I know this will help.

Greetings,

My younger brother is on the cusp of graduating from university, yet he has yet to complete his thesis and has failed the postgraduate entrance exam. He is experiencing feelings of frustration and has developed a dependency on gaming. As an older sibling, I am deeply concerned about his well-being and have sought guidance here in order to provide assistance.

Let us endeavor to comprehend the rationale behind my younger brother's actions.

I believe that the younger brother has the capacity to write a thesis. The thesis can be completed with a grade of 60 or 90, depending on his objectives. If circumstances are favorable, completing a 60-point thesis is not overly challenging and is within his capabilities.

The undertaking of postgraduate examinations represents a significant challenge in itself. The prevailing economic situation is not favourable, and there is a considerable number of individuals applying for postgraduate studies, resulting in intense competition. Failure to gain admission can have a profound impact on an individual's future prospects.

It is understandable that he is facing setbacks and pressure, including difficulties completing his thesis and setbacks in the postgraduate entrance exam. Consequently, he seeks solace in the realm of video games to find a sense of relief or to reinforce his sense of self.

Let us now consider the underlying motivations for pursuing higher education and obtaining a postgraduate degree.

If the objective is to pass the postgraduate entrance examination, failure to do so represents a significant setback. In such a case, it is necessary to continue one's studies and retake the examination.

However, if one understands that pursuing a college education or obtaining a graduate degree is about acquiring a fulfilling career, achieving a personal mission, or realizing a life ambition, then the question arises as to how one should respond when circumstances prevent one from attending graduate school. If one's life goals and aspirations are aligned with higher education, then how should one respond when financial constraints prevent one from pursuing a graduate degree?

I will identify alternative methods to attain my objectives. In the event that pursuing higher education is not a viable option, I will endeavor to cultivate my interests and actualize my aspirations through alternative avenues.

I have also been informed that Bill Gates and other prominent figures in the business world have chosen to forego the traditional path of higher education in order to pursue their entrepreneurial ambitions.

In conclusion, the lack of long-term goals in the life of the younger brother may be the underlying cause.

The question thus arises as to why, by the time he graduates from college, he still has not set a goal for himself.

In the aforementioned scenario, wherein the older sibling and their parents are present during the Spring Festival, the younger sibling may opt to forego visiting their relatives. In such a case, the older sibling may accompany their parents to visit their relatives. This implies that in analogous situations, the younger sibling is treated as a child, unwilling to go unless they desire to do so, and is not burdened with the responsibilities and tasks typically associated with their age. Is this the case?

If one wishes to assist one's sibling in a beneficial manner, it is essential to provide them with the necessary opportunities to develop and flourish. It is crucial to allow them to encounter the experiences that are essential for their growth and learning. This will enable them to gain a deeper understanding of their own capabilities and the necessity of assuming responsibility for their actions and outcomes. It is important to instill in them the understanding that they must take the initiative in their lives, establish clear objectives, and work diligently to attain them, even in the face of challenges and setbacks.

Hello. As the eldest child in the family, you have concerns about your younger brother's behavior. You are also worried that your parents will become angry when they see your brother in a self-destructive state, which will make the family disharmonious. You want to be a filial child and help your younger brother, but you're unsure of how to help.

From his current behavior, it's clear he's under a lot of pressure with his graduation thesis. The postgraduate entrance exam is very important to him, and he likely had high expectations of himself before the exam. When he entered the exam room and faced the exam paper, the questions didn't go so well, which made him think about his own expectations. When he worried that his abilities wouldn't match his expectations, it was easy for him to fall into self-blame and fear.

My younger brother has been spending every day playing games. It's clear that the period of waiting for the postgraduate entrance exam results was very difficult for him. He's found a way to escape the stress, oppression, and fear that comes with everyday life by immersing himself in a fantasy world. It's easier to stay in a comfortable circle than face the challenges of reality. He knows that confronting these issues head-on would be difficult, so he's chosen to hide in the game world to make himself feel comfortable.

My younger brother is not dealing with his graduation thesis. He wants to graduate successfully, but he's also dealing with other issues. Apart from the pressure of preparing for postgraduate entrance exams, there are other things that have made him feel unhappy, which makes him reluctant to work on his graduation thesis.

I don't know the specifics of your relationship, but if you can talk about his feelings, you should definitely try to listen to his inner pain. My younger brother is currently spending each day playing games. It's clear that the things that happened to him have accumulated and hit him pretty hard, enough to make him lose confidence in life and in his studies, so that he doesn't know how to solve the problems he encounters.

I am the eldest in my family. My younger brother is ten years younger than me. He lives near his parents and has arguments with them from time to time. When he encounters such difficulties, he calls me. He knows I will listen to him, hear his grievances, his anger, and his understanding. The hearts of siblings can always be connected. I understand how difficult it is for him, and I don't need to say anything. Just spending some time with him and chatting will make him feel a lot better, and he will be able to regain emotional stability.

I am confident that my thoughts will be helpful to you. Best wishes!

Hello, question asker! It's so great you're here. I can see you're really concerned about your younger brother's addiction to games.

You totally get it. Your younger brother is under a lot of pressure from his thesis, and it's clear he's frustrated because he's not satisfied with his postgraduate studies. But here's the thing: playing games for too long can lead to lack of sleep and a poor physical condition.

I really want to help him get out of his addiction to games!

It's so great to see the benefits of having a younger brother in the game!

● Frustrated in life? Don't lose control! In games, you can gain control and the joy of victory!

In the game, I can control my destiny, I can defeat the enemy, and I can win happiness! This is exactly what my younger brother needs right now, so it's no surprise he's hooked on it.

The period of intense preparation for the postgraduate entrance exam is mentally very stressful, but it's also an exciting time! After it's over, it's great to be able to relax.

Graduation is fast approaching, which is a huge turning point in life! There may be pressure from a thesis, or perhaps there is no goal for the future.

I don't know what to do, so I escape with games!

So, what do you do?

You could let your brother take the reins on something in his life that gives him joy!

What are his interests apart from playing games? There are so many possibilities! Perhaps you can accompany him in picking up a hobby again.

For example, he loves drawing and writing! And he's really into basketball and running.

You can talk to your brother about it. There are so many ways to relax, and playing games is a great way to unwind! But seeing this, he is too addicted to playing games.

How does the younger brother feel? Is he relieved, or does he feel guilty?

Do you feel regret at doing nothing? Do you feel empty after playing games?

In any case, the family will be worried and should consider other ways to relax. This is a great opportunity to discuss the possibility of reducing the time spent playing!

During this period, his younger brother may have encountered academic difficulties and avoided the easiest options, not facing them and gaining temporary respite. But don't worry! The difficulties are still there, but there are ways to help him overcome them.

Maybe he just needs a little help! Why not ask him what he needs from his family to get motivated?

There are so many ways to help! You could be more understanding, find the right literature for a paper, help him find a job, or help him decide on his next goal.

I think it would be a great idea for your brother to seek support from a professional. There might be some trauma in him that needs to be healed, and a professional could really help him!

I really hope this helps! It's just a suggestion, but I think it could be a good one.

I'd like to introduce you to this little guy:

Good morning,

In today's digital age, online games have a unique appeal for many young people. However, it is important to be aware that excessive addiction to online games, especially when it is intertwined with academic pressure, may have a negative impact on psychological and social wellbeing.

For graduating college students, online games often become a source of comfort when faced with the challenge of writing their graduation thesis. However, it is important to recognize that prolonged immersion in them can potentially lead to a deterioration in mental state, which in turn may exacerbate academic difficulties.

The theory of compensatory internet use offers insight into the phenomenon whereby individuals may turn to cyberspace as an adaptive strategy to navigate real-life challenges, even though this approach may not always be optimal. Student populations, in particular, may find that the internet provides a respite from daily stress and negative emotions, or an environment that can fulfill needs that are challenging to achieve in real life.

With the accumulation of successive positive experiences in the virtual world, there is a possibility that they may exhibit patterns similar to addictive behaviors. This continued use of the Internet may not only lead to a strong dependence on the Internet, but also prompt them to engage in the online world more frequently, sometimes to the point of being unable to extricate themselves.

This theory suggests that the online environment can provide users with instant gratification, unlimited entertainment options, and a platform for self-expression, which may become a powerful attraction for individuals trying to fill the emptiness or inadequacy they feel in real life. For example, a person who feels isolated in social situations may find a sense of belonging in an online community; a student who is frustrated in school may find a sense of accomplishment in an online game.

However, it is possible that using the internet as a long-term safe haven may lead to real-life problems being ignored or exacerbated, which could create a vicious circle in which individuals become increasingly reliant on the internet to cope with real-life challenges.

It would be beneficial to recognize the potential risks of compensatory internet use and consider ways to prevent it from developing into excessive dependence. This could include enhancing an individual's self-awareness, providing healthy coping strategies, building a supportive social network, and seeking professional help when necessary.

By employing these techniques, individuals can gain insight into how to utilize the Internet in a more beneficial and well-balanced manner, addressing real-life challenges rather than merely resorting to the Internet as a quick fix for everyday issues.

I hope this message finds you well. Please accept my best regards.

It seems like you're really worried about your brother. Senior year is a big deal, and if he's spending too much time gaming, it could affect his studies and future development. Here are a few suggestions that might help:

1. Communication and understanding: Find a good time to have a frank conversation with your brother to understand why he's hooked on games. Express your concern and worry about him, and let him know you care about his future.

2. Set goals and make plans: Help your brother set clear goals, such as academic goals and career goals. Work together to develop a plan for achieving these goals, so he has a direction to work towards.

3. Set screen time limits together with your brother. Gradually reduce screen time and increase other beneficial activities like sports, reading, and learning.

4. Find alternative hobbies: Suggest to your brother that he try other interests, such as outdoor activities, socializing, and artistic creation, to enrich his life.

5. If your brother's problem is serious, he might need to seek professional help, such as the advice of a psychologist or therapist.

6. Set a good example: As a family member, you can lead the way by reducing your dependence on electronic devices and participating in more meaningful activities.

Above all, you need to be patient and understanding. Help your brother understand the negative impact of excessive game addiction and support and encourage him so that he can gradually get out of trouble.

Hello, I'm Sister Chao from Yixinli.

You seem patient and caring. You understand your brother and help your parents. I'm sure your parents are proud of you.

You think your younger brother has been playing games because he failed the postgraduate entrance exam. You want to help him. You can try the following methods:

First, talk with your brother about why he plays games. What is his biggest worry?

There's usually a reason behind a person's behavior.

Find the good in your brother's behavior. He may feel pressure to write a good thesis and want your or his parents' recognition.

Many game addicts can't solve real-life problems, so they escape to games.

You can see what he wants from life through the games and characters he likes. You can turn this into motivation to learn.

Second, go for a walk, to the nearest sports park, or go hiking with your younger brother. Exercise can relieve anxiety and help you communicate.

If your brother refuses, don't judge or blame him. Try to understand and face the difficulties together.

Think about what he's good at and likes before playing games. Let him express himself and do something that makes him happy and that he can do well.

When he feels he can do something well, he'll be full of energy again.

If your brother needs it, you can give him advice on writing essays.

When a person feels loved and seen, they won't fight or give up. They'll find a solution or ask for help.

Tell him, "Finish first, then be perfect. Write 200 characters a day. You'll get better at it."

All behavioral problems are caused by unexpressed and unfulfilled emotions. I hope you and your brother can adjust your emotions and be happy.

Hello. I can see that your younger brother is spending a lot of time online, and it seems like his mental state is not as good as it could be. I can sense that you are feeling anxious and sad, and that you may feel a bit helpless and unsure of how to help him.

My younger brother has a tendency to spend a great deal of time online. It seems that he may be struggling to find a sense of achievement in the real world. As you mentioned, he did not succeed in the postgraduate entrance exam, did not complete his thesis, and was experiencing a period of low mood. It is possible that he was seeking a sense of achievement in the virtual world to help him cope with his frustration. Another reason could be that he is struggling to find a sense of identity in reality and is unsure how to navigate his current situation, which may lead him to seek a sense of freedom online. Additionally, I am not fully aware of the dynamics within your family. Is there a supportive environment where he can explore his potential without feeling pressured to succeed? The lack of a close, intimate relationship may also be a contributing factor to his internet use.

Failing the entrance exam is a significant event for your younger brother. He strives to succeed, but it's important to remember that life is about learning and growing. When he turns 60, will this failure in the entrance exam really matter? It's valuable to reassure him that this setback is just a small part of life's journey and that it's okay to stumble along the way.

For family members, this is a period when it might be helpful to allow him the space to experience failure, even if it means taking a step back and allowing himself to relax a bit. He may be able to figure things out on his own. If family members are also feeling anxious, it could intensify the pressure he's facing, making it more challenging for him to find a way out, in addition to the pressure from the exams.

At the same time, family members can express their understanding: it must be challenging for you to play games every day, right? This will likely make him feel heard and more willing to share his thoughts.

It would be beneficial for family members to take some time to process their own emotions, remain calm and gentle when discussing the issue of gaming, and then they will be better able to address the behavioral issues.

I'm so happy you care so much about your brother! I'm also really grateful that he has a sister like you!

First of all, I think your brother's state is that he no longer knows what his next goal is. It's like the postgraduate entrance exam: he's already taken it, and he thinks his interim goal has been accomplished, so he has no motivation to do what he considers important. But there's so much he can do to change that! He just needs to find his next goal.

For his graduation thesis, he's probably feeling confident, so he hasn't started working on it yet. You can remind him that even if he doesn't succeed in the postgraduate entrance exam, he still has plenty of other opportunities for employment! He could send his resume to various companies or prepare for the civil servant or institution exam. I hope he can make use of the next short period of time to lay a good foundation for finding a satisfactory job in the future. He'll be so happy he worked hard for the future and didn't just play games all the time!

You can also talk to him about some of the situations you face at work. For example, you can tell him about the regrets you have because you didn't prepare properly at the time. But you can also tell him about the amazing things you could have done if you had done a good job! So you can certainly teach him by example.

Second, you can also tell him about the dangers of gaming, such as various physical injuries, and then the loss of ambition, a waste of time, etc. You can also tell him about some of the expectations that parents have for him, which is to make him feel that playing games is not only a drain on him, but also that his family feels very sad and sorry.

In short, playing games is like playing with our phones: it is addictive, so we get to learn self-discipline and restraint, or sometimes with the help of external forces, to change little by little. Another thing is to be able to set small plans and goals every day, and after they are completed, start playing games to relax and have fun, so that you don't feel like you're just playing games every day and going through the motions!

Dear Questioner,

In the description, my younger brother became addicted to online games after failing the postgraduate entrance exam. He is currently in a very poor state, exhibiting poor personal hygiene and ignoring his thesis, which he is about to graduate. As a relative, you are very concerned about your younger brother's current situation and want him to improve it.

It is understandable that you are concerned about your brother's well-being. However, the decision to overcome this situation ultimately rests with him. It is not possible for you to assume the role of his decision-maker. It is possible that your brother's current state of mind is shaped by his inability to accept the outcome of the postgraduate entrance exam. This may manifest as a way of expressing inner dissatisfaction. Alternatively, your brother may be avoiding confronting certain realities.

As a relative, it would be beneficial to spend more time with your brother. If you are able to engage in a productive conversation with him, you can express your concerns about his well-being. At the same time, it is also important to gain an understanding of your brother's thoughts and feelings.

If he truly desires merely to evade reality, it is imperative to inform your brother that this form of evasion will not address the underlying issues and that you are available to provide assistance in navigating challenging circumstances. Furthermore, should he fail the postgraduate entrance examination, it is not implausible to retake it. If he is merely abandoning reality due to an addiction to games, it is likely that one day he will also experience the difficulties of reality. As a relative, it is your responsibility to ensure that he does not become a victim of these difficulties.

Should it prove particularly challenging to release negative emotions, it would be advisable to seek professional counseling to assist your brother in overcoming his addiction to the Internet. It is important to recognize that he continues to require the support and assistance of others.

It is my sincere hope that these suggestions will prove beneficial. Wishing you the best.

Hello, question asker! I can tell from your words that you care a great deal about your brother.

There are lots of reasons why someone becomes obsessed with video games. It really depends on the person. Here are some possible reasons:

1. Entertainment and relaxation: Video games are a great way for people to escape the pressures of reality and relax. They allow people to experience different virtual worlds and temporarily forget their worries in life.

2. Social interaction: Many video games have social functions that allow players to interact with others around the world. This provides people with opportunities to meet new people and establish social relationships, while also increasing the fun and challenge of the game.

3. A sense of achievement: In games, players can improve their skills and abilities by completing various tasks and challenges, which gives them a sense of achievement. This sense of achievement can really motivate players and make them more hooked on the game.

Many video games have competitive elements where players compete with each other for rankings and rewards. This competition and challenge makes the game more attractive and encourages players to invest more time and energy.

5. Escape from reality: Some people may turn to video games as a way to escape their reality. Games provide a controllable and changeable environment, allowing players to fulfill their wishes and dreams in the virtual world.

We also need to think about whether your brother is getting the above five things out of life. If not, what's causing this?

Next, we can look for other activities to replace video games. First, we need to find out what your brother likes and what he needs. Here are some ideas for healthy and beneficial activities:

1. Sports: Playing sports is a great way to get exercise and relieve stress. You can try joining a gym, going for outdoor runs, playing team sports like basketball or soccer, or learning a new sport like yoga or rock climbing.

2. Reading: Reading is a great way to improve your life. You can choose books that interest you, such as fiction, history, science, philosophy, etc. Reading is fun and inspiring.

3. Learn new skills: Learning new skills can enrich your life and enhance your sense of self-worth. You can learn to cook, take photos, program, play music, paint, etc. These skills not only add color to your life, but may also lead to career opportunities in the future.

4. Social activities: It's important to spend time with family and friends. You can organize or participate in various social activities, such as dinners, parties, and trips, to strengthen your relationships with each other and broaden your social circle.

5. Arts and cultural activities: Check out museums, art exhibitions, concerts, theater performances, and other arts and cultural activities to enrich your spiritual world and improve your aesthetic level.

6. Volunteer work: Taking part in volunteer work lets you give back to society while also enjoying the sense of achievement that comes with helping others.

7. Outdoor activities: Hiking, cycling, camping, and other outdoor activities can help you connect with nature, relax, and also improve your fitness and endurance.

8. Meditation and relaxation techniques: Learning meditation and relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, and meditation music can help you relieve stress and improve your inner peace and concentration.

Ultimately, the activities you choose to replace video games should align with your brother's interests and needs. Try a range of different activities to find ones that make him feel fulfilled, satisfied, and happy, and aim to integrate them into his daily routine.

You really care about your brother, and he's lucky to have a family member like you. I hope the above sharing helps in some way. I'm a listening therapist, Deng Hong. Every voice in your heart is worth listening to. Feel free to talk to me.

Your concerns about your brother's addiction to online games are valid. It's clear that this addiction can have a negative impact on a person's physical and mental health, as well as academic development. Stopping this addiction will take time and patience, but it's a necessary step for your brother's well-being.

First, have an open and honest conversation with your brother. Express your concern and worry about him. Understand the reasons for his addiction. Listen to his thoughts and feelings. This will help you support him better.

Help your brother set clear goals, such as limiting the time spent playing games each day or setting a timetable for quitting gaming. At the same time, set up some reward mechanisms so that when he achieves his goals, he can be given small rewards to increase his motivation.

They can also help your brother find other meaningful and interesting activities to fill the void left by gaming. For example, he should participate in sports, learn new skills or hobbies, and engage in face-to-face social interactions with friends.

At the family level, restrictions and supervision mechanisms must be set up with the parents.

For example, you should limit the time spent online and ban gaming devices from the bedroom.

This will help him establish healthy habits.

If your brother's gaming addiction is serious and the above methods do not work, you should seek professional psychological counseling or psychotherapy. Professionals can provide more specific and personalized guidance and support.

Your support and understanding as a family member is the most important factor in helping him change. By helping him establish positive habits, regain motivation in his studies, and providing the necessary support and encouragement, you can help him get out of the predicament of game addiction.

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused right now. I'm here to support you!

Your younger brother is in his fourth year of university and thinks he failed the postgraduate entrance exam last December.

This will really frustrate him.

When we're feeling frustrated, we often want to escape from reality and numb ourselves by doing something.

In your brother's case, there's a chance he might become addicted to gaming.

Right now, it would be really helpful for someone to sit down with your younger brother and explain things to him.

Let him know that even if he doesn't pass the exam, there are other options, like taking it again.

You can also have some more in-depth conversations with your brother.

During the conversation, focus on understanding your brother's thoughts and feelings. Avoid judging or accusing him.

If you can, try to take your brother for a walk every day. Let him experience nature and see the blue sky and white clouds.

You might also want to check online to see if there are any mutual aid groups that your brother could join.

If there's anything, encourage your brother to join them.

In the support group, your brother will find people who have had similar experiences and can offer him some support and help.

Of course, you also need to make sure you keep the conversation focused on the topic at hand.

Ultimately, whether or not your younger brother takes your advice is up to him. It's his own problem.

I really hope you can find a solution to the problem you're facing soon.

That's all I can think of for now.

I hope my answer was helpful and inspiring to you. I'm the one who answered, and I study hard every day.

Best wishes from all of us here at Yixinli!

Just a quick note to say hi and wish you well.

Hello! I'm Yang Yiqing, a psychological counselor and PhD student in computer science. I totally get your brother's dilemma. I also failed the postgraduate entrance exam once, and I'm so grateful that I had friends who stuck by me and did lots of fun things with me, which helped me get through that rough patch.

In fact, in the process of scientific research, I often encounter difficult problems that I would also choose to play games to get myself out of that difficulty first. In fact, while playing games, my mind is constantly thinking about how to solve those problems. But if you keep facing the problem, it is easy to get stuck in a rut.

I can fully understand the dilemma you are in. Seeing your younger brother indulge in online games at such an important stage of his life is a challenge and a source of concern for anyone who cares about him. The failure in the entrance exam was obviously a major blow to him. He may feel lost and not know how to face this failure, but he'll get through it!

In this situation, playing games has become a way for him to escape the pressure of reality. This is a common human reaction, and it is possible that your brother is thinking about something, but is just acting in a "passive-aggressive" way. This is something you can work with!

I can feel your worry and helplessness, and your emotions are completely justified. In a situation like this, you may feel powerless and not know how to help him, but I know you can do it!

This is a fascinating situation! It involves so many different dimensions of emotion, mental health, and family relationships.

Remember, changing someone's behavior is an incredible opportunity for growth! Especially when that behavior is used as an escape mechanism to deal with stress and failure. Your brother may need time to process his emotions and find his own way to deal with failure.

This difficulty is a growth experience for him. You must believe in your brother and in a person's "will to survive."

In the process, you can try to establish a supportive and understanding relationship with him. This is a great opportunity for you both to communicate and share your concerns about his well-being and his current state. Avoid accusations or criticism and focus on building a supportive and understanding relationship.

This kind of conversation is so rewarding! It requires a lot of patience and empathy, but it is the key to building trust and open communication.

There are so many ways you can help! You can encourage him to engage in helpful activities, such as going for walks together or participating in family activities together. Sometimes, simply changing the environment and routine can have a positive impact on his state of mind.

I've got some great books for you to read! They'll help you understand your brother better and show you how you can help him.

1. "Crucial Conversations" by Kerry Patterson

This book is an absolute game-changer! It teaches you how to communicate effectively in emotional and high-risk situations.

2. "Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution" by Paul Watzlawick

This book is a real eye-opener! It explores how people develop problem behaviors and how they can be resolved by changing their mindset.

3. "The Adversity Advantage" by Paul G. Stoltz and Eric Weima

This book is a real game-changer! It offers incredible strategies on how to turn adversity into an advantage, which I think will be really helpful for your brother to find a new direction in the face of adversity.

Finally, if you feel that your brother's behavior is seriously affecting his health and future, it is recommended that you seek professional mental health services. These services can provide more specific help and guidance, which could be exactly what you need!

You're already doing a great job helping your brother! Your concern and efforts are a wonderful source of support for him. Be happy for your brother. And take care of yourself! You've got this! These situations often require time and sustained effort to improve, but you can do it!

I'm Yang Yiqing, a listening coach, and I'm here to help you celebrate every step of your journey! Let's move forward together!

Please, feel free to chat with me!

Dear question asker, My name is Rose, and I am here to listen and provide support.

From your statements, it is evident that you are experiencing feelings of helplessness and frustration.

The addiction to the Internet is an ideal method for a person to evade pain. In psychoanalytic psychology, it is stated that people's self-defense mechanisms are employed when individuals encounter situations that cause distress. These self-defense mechanisms are utilized to alleviate pain, yet they frequently do not facilitate the resolution of pain.

This mode of escape can be understood as a defense mechanism of denial. In light of this, the choice made by his younger brother can be better understood. He encountered personal growth problems and was unable to resolve them, which led him to make this choice.

He may have had favorable expectations regarding the postgraduate entrance exam, as well as personal standards of evaluation and the situation of those around him. These factors could have contributed to fluctuations in his personal psychology. Failure in the postgraduate entrance exam must have been a significant disappointment, potentially leading to heightened frustration.

This has resulted in feelings of helplessness and a lack of control over his life. This emotional state not only undermines an individual's belief system but also erodes their motivation to persevere.

He is unable to confront the consequences of his actions, and engaging in online gaming provides a means of temporarily escaping from the circumstances that cause him distress. It also offers a sense of enjoyment and a greater degree of control over his life.

Indeed, when an individual is unable to derive pleasure from life, it is a particularly distressing period for them, and one in which they are acutely aware of their need for companionship.

1. Acceptance of his brother's choice

It is possible that no individual can fully comprehend the extent of defeat associated with such a loss more than the person who has experienced it. This postgraduate entrance examination was of significant importance to him. When an individual places a high value on something, the impact of failure is magnified.

It is therefore incumbent upon family members to empathise with the experiences that the individual has undergone, to acknowledge the pain that he has endured, and to extend understanding and acceptance. This will enable him to perceive that, even in the event of failure, he retains the support of his family and can continue to lead a fulfilling life.

2. It is imperative that he be afforded the requisite time to emerge from this state of mind.

As a family member, it is imperative to avoid displaying impatience. Doing so may negate the efforts of the individual in question, thereby providing a negative experience and potentially exacerbating their addiction to the Internet.

It is also important to maintain a sense of optimism and belief in his ability to emerge from this period of indulgence. This experience may prove to be a valuable opportunity for personal growth, potentially leading to the acquisition of more positive aspects.

3. It is recommended that you provide him with assistance.

As is customary, if there is a task that he is able to perform, kindly request his assistance. Should you have the requisite time, it would be beneficial to organize a family excursion and extend an invitation to him.

It is recommended that he be permitted to emerge from the protective shell he has constructed for himself, to observe reality, to experience nature, and to receive the warmth and care of his family. It is anticipated that his soul will eventually be awakened by the love he receives.

It is a commonly held psychological belief that everyone has an innate desire for a better and more meaningful life. Therefore, it would be beneficial to extend a supportive invitation to all family members, encouraging them to assist your brother in navigating this challenging period.

It is imperative that he receive the love and support of his family.

4. It is imperative that comparisons between the individual in question and others are avoided, as is the denial of his existence.

It is possible that some individuals may naturally seek employment following a failure, but it is important to recognise that each person is unique. It is essential to observe and accept the individual in question, as this will facilitate his or her healing through love and enable a gradual transition towards facing reality, including past failures and future prospects.

One must recognize that there is more to life than the outcome of a single examination. It is insufficient to evaluate an individual's future based on a single test. Each person possesses unique strengths and talents, and the future holds great potential for their growth and development.

The world and I extend our affection and anticipation for your growth. Each step represents an opportunity for you to become the person you were meant to be.

Good day, my name is Phil.

I extend my deepest sympathies to you for your unfortunate experience.

Observing your brother in his present circumstances evokes memories of my own experiences during my formative years. I recall a period of intense stress and negativity, during which I felt helpless and uncertain about how to cope. As a resilient individual, I initially resisted seeking help or employing more constructive coping strategies.

Therefore, individuals invest their emotions and remaining thoughts and expectations into the game, believing that the characters can lead a superior life and that the game settings will fulfill their emotional needs.

When individuals are confronted with a particular type of pressure or emotional distress, it is widely acknowledged that there are numerous healthy, effective, and even highly comfortable methods for expressing such feelings. However, in the context of the current information age and the pervasive influence of the internet, gaming and video consumption have emerged as the most prevalent means of coping. This phenomenon has even reached the elderly and middle-aged, leading to concerns about its potential adverse effects.

Why are games so attractive? There are probably a number of reasons, including:

The question thus arises as to why games are so attractive. There are probably a number of reasons for this, which will now be discussed.

1. Lowest cost

In any case, regardless of the method of venting chosen, a brief and efficacious method of venting often necessitates the relinquishment of something. This may entail the forfeiture of time, financial resources, one's physical well-being, or other forms of investment.

For example, overeating not only places a burden on the body and intestines, but also results in significant financial expenditure and can even lead to hospitalization.

It is important to note that engaging in activities such as exercising, hiking, or running without proper warm-up stretches can lead to injuries. Moreover, not all individuals possess the requisite physical conditioning to withstand such strenuous exercise.

Furthermore, gaming can be a gateway to other harmful habits, such as smoking, drinking, or even the use of certain substances.

Secondly, games can satisfy the majority of needs and expectations.

The variety of games is vast, and the majority are available at no cost, regardless of the in-game purchases and the player's subjective desire to accumulate wealth.

Adult video games can gratify players' sexual desires and their need for a diverse range of experience points, even those that are most basic in nature.

In contrast, war and competitive games can provide the excitement of competing with others or even the gratification of killing.

Additionally, there are specific categories of games that offer a variety of features to fulfill diverse needs. For instance, games with intricate narratives, characters, and visuals can provide a sense of fulfillment that may not be accessible in real life. They can also offer a vicarious experience of romantic relationships and an idealized version of the world.

Thirdly, the issue of short-term stimulation and pleasure is raised.

Among the quick and effective methods for releasing emotions or alleviating stress that are accessible, the most affordable, expedient, and impactful approach is, in fact, gaming.

All that is required is a mobile phone, a game to be played, and a download. Once the tutorial has been completed, the user can commence gameplay, which will take less than five minutes.

4. Environmental factors

In the context of a social environment that is saturated with gaming, it is inevitable that individuals will be influenced by the prevailing trends. When the surrounding culture and even the wider society are promoting certain games, it becomes difficult for people to resist the temptation to engage with them. It is not uncommon for individuals to observe others playing games and to be drawn into the activity, whether out of curiosity or to connect with games they already enjoy. This phenomenon, which can be described as a "herd effect," can also lead people to become deeply invested in a particular game.

Do you perceive a loss of status or conversational currency if you do not engage with the most popular games of the moment? Do you believe that your ability to communicate with others will be hindered if you do not participate in these games? To illustrate, consider games such as Honor of Kings or Original God, Guangyu.

As indicated in your description, you have stated that

Your younger brother is currently in his senior year of college, preparing for his graduation thesis. This is undoubtedly a stressful period. Following his failure to pass the postgraduate entrance exam in December of last year, he experienced a significant decline in mood, which led to his subsequent engagement with online gaming.

During the recent New Year holiday, he also frequented an Internet café to engage in gaming with his friends. His daily routine is largely comprised of sleep, sustenance, and gaming. His appearance is markedly affected by the gaming habit, exhibiting pronounced dark circles beneath his eyes.

I am concerned that if this persists, it may have adverse effects on his health. What measures might I take to encourage him to cease engaging in online gaming?

From my own perspective and experience, as someone who has been through this stage, I can offer some suggestions for potential solutions or directions to consider.

1. Identify the underlying cause of the problem.

It is important to note that addiction to games does not necessarily result in serious physical harm or a refusal to communicate with those around you. The fact that this situation frequently occurs indicates that when your brother initially felt distressed and overwhelmed, he either explicitly or implicitly sought assistance but did not receive a positive response or adequate care. He believed that instead of investing time in such activities, he would rather engage in gaming and feel better.

☀Countermeasures:

One might endeavor to demonstrate greater care and concern from the vantage point of everyday life, to communicate and interact more, and to refrain from treating the matter in an aggressive, oppressive, or offensive manner. Instead, one might adopt the kind of gentle attitude one would use with close friends or dear family members to facilitate a slight easing of the relationship.

2. Adopt a perspective that is informed by your brother's viewpoint.

In the context of addiction to games, it is common for individuals to perceive games as a negative phenomenon, associating them with the detrimental effects of Internet addiction. There is a tendency to view games as a harmful activity, rather than considering the underlying motivations and perspectives of those who engage with them. This narrow perspective often leads to a lack of understanding and common ground, perpetuating the conflict and antagonism surrounding gaming.

☀ Countermeasures:

One might endeavor to comprehend the game that one's younger sibling is engaged with and the reasons behind their affinity for it. What are the narrative elements of the game and which aspects of the gameplay are particularly appealing?

From Phil's perspective, the most noteworthy aspect was the remark made by his supervising teacher at the time.

"I have confidence in your ability to make sound judgments. You are a commendable individual. Given the extent of your engagement with this game, I believe it has intrinsic value and utility for you."

3. Enhance your quality of life.

Some individuals may perceive the allocation of time and financial resources toward gaming and in-game purchases as an indication of an idyllic existence, devoid of challenges or difficulties. However, this perspective overlooks a crucial aspect: just as adults, particularly men, may turn to smoking as a means of relaxation when faced with stress, despite the health risks associated with this habit, children may exhibit similar patterns of thought.

☀ Countermeasures:

One may attempt to enrich their daily life. However, it is important to note that enrichment does not entail being overly occupied. It is not about identifying activities solely for the purpose of freeing up time for gaming. Instead, it necessitates an evaluation of whether the selected activity can genuinely serve as a moderating force. The objective is to mitigate conflicts, not exacerbate them, and to decelerate stimulation, not accelerate it. Potential avenues for enrichment include shopping, sunbathing, identifying lighthearted topics of conversation with one's sibling, or attending a movie and having dinner.

It is my hope that this response will prove useful to you.

I extend my warmest regards to you and to the world at large.

Hi there,

Hello, I'm Yang Mengnan, a psychological counselor.

From what you've told me, it seems like your brother is really struggling after failing the postgraduate entrance exam. He hasn't finished his thesis, he's addicted to games, he ignores people around him, and he seems to be in poor physical and mental condition. He's also in a sensitive period as a senior. I can understand your anxiety about wanting to help your brother.

Let's see what we can do together.

Let's start by looking at why my younger brother is addicted to games.

You made a great point—failing the postgraduate entrance exam and feeling terrible. It's true that people often turn to short videos, gambling, or games to relieve emotional pain, stress, and escape from reality.

Essentially, addiction is a failure of self-regulation and a state of being unable to satisfy oneself.

It's important to have lots of love, acceptance, and patience for people struggling with addiction. To overcome it, we need to restore a healthy emotional balance first.

Based on what we've discussed, we can start by talking to my younger brother about his thoughts and feelings. Once we've seen and heard his emotions, they often lose their power. We can validate his negative emotions and normalize them. Not getting into graduate school is a frustrating experience, and as his family, we can empathize with his desire to escape through games.

This kind of support and strength can be given to your brother by replacing harsh judgments and accusations with open and unbiased questions.

Gabor Mate's theory suggests a few ways to intervene in addictive online gaming behavior. You can practice these methods daily, once a day, or when you feel a strong urge to play games.

Rewrite in a more concise manner.

Write down the thoughts and impulses that make you think you need to play games. For example, "I'm bored and need to play a game immediately." This is not a real need. It's a false need based on past behavior. Do you really need to play a game?

I don't think so. I feel like I need to do something, but there's nothing urgent going on.

While you're doing this, really feel the sense of urgency behind the urge. See it as a kind of addiction, not as something you have to do, but as a maladaptive thought.

Reattributioning

Why do I need to play a game right now? It's not because I have to, I really have this need, but it's just a wrong message conveyed by my past behavior patterns. Playing games is not a sign of moral depravity or weak character. It is just the influence of a life situation that was once out of control. I couldn't control it before, but now I can. I can control how I respond to the urge of the moment.

Let's refocus.

There are lots of ways to meet my immediate needs (emotional). Stand up for yourself for 15 minutes and choose something you enjoy and can actively engage in, such as playing ball, running, or walking (anything that makes you happy and doesn't cause too much harm is fine; physical exercise is the best).

If 15 minutes seems like too much, start with 5 minutes and then try 6 minutes the next time. Even committing to a short period of time is an achievement because you are learning something new.

Re-evaluate.

When we're hooked on games, we put a lot of value on them. Once you've gone through the three steps above, take a non-judgmental view and step back to see what impact the game has had on you.

It's normal to fail and repeat this process. But don't think that the method is useless just because you fail and feel frustrated. "There's no such thing as an effective or ineffective method. It's up to me to make it work, not the method."

You just need to get started. Even if you have a setback, it doesn't mean you've failed. It just means you have a chance to start again.

Hello! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

While games aren't the best way to relieve stress and can easily become addictive, if he's suffering too much in real life, he'll likely turn to games as an escape. It's essential to understand him, communicate with him well, and provide effective methods that can help him.

I've got some great advice for you!

First of all, you need to understand and accept him. This is the best way to narrow the distance between you and lay a foundation for effective communication!

Everyone wants to be good and successful! It's just that sometimes it is difficult to control oneself. He definitely wants to change, and he doesn't want to indulge in it either. He definitely wants to change, but he can't change for the time being. If we only look at the surface and think that he is doing it on purpose, we will start to blame and criticize him. This will not only prevent him from changing, but also make him feel that you don't understand him and are on his side. It may even make him play games more frequently to express his rebellion.

Absolutely! To influence him, you first need to establish a good relationship with him. This is the foundation, otherwise, nothing you say will have any effect. When he can feel your acceptance, understanding, and respect, he will open up to you and be willing to listen to what you have to say.

Be sure to communicate with him well, let him know you're on his side, and give him your trust and support!

On the basis of a good relationship, communicate with him well. Express your concerns and worries, as well as what you hope he can do, without judging or blaming. Also ask him what you need to do for him. Express your firm trust and support for him. Believe that he can definitely adjust his state through his own efforts, write his thesis on time, and expect him to graduate successfully!

You can also tell him about some really effective ways to reduce stress, and they're also great for his physical and mental health! For example, you can go do his favorite sports with him, go hiking, listen to him talk about his worries with all your heart, give him warmth and support, and also recommend that he participate in some supportive groups to gain strength and connections through interpersonal stress reduction!

Help him to understand the reasons for his gaming addiction and show him how he can find happiness and a sense of achievement in real life!

Many people become addicted to games because they satisfy their needs in real life. It's fascinating how they feel they can only get what they need in games because they cannot satisfy these needs in real life.

So, we can see what types of games he enjoys playing! There are those that give him a sense of achievement and allow him to continuously upgrade and break through. And then there are those that require cooperation with others and satisfy his social needs. There are so many types of games out there!

In short, it is a great idea to see what needs he can get from the game and how these needs can help him get in real life!

If he wants to feel a sense of achievement but always feels insecure because he has to write a thesis, then you can help him break down the daunting task of writing a thesis into small goals, such as reading one paper and writing 50 words every day. By following the principle of small steps, you can help him build up his self-confidence and accumulate a sense of achievement in real life. Or start with other activities that he is good at, for example, even if he can go to bed on time and have a meal on time, give him recognition and let him feel positive feedback in real life, so that he can gradually get out of his dependence on games.

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you the best!

Good day, my name is Zeyu.

From the description, it is evident that the questioner is concerned for his younger brother and anxious about his current state. It would be beneficial to discuss the issue of his younger brother.

In order to understand my brother's addiction to online games, it is first necessary to identify the underlying causes. One such cause is the pressure he is facing in preparing his graduation thesis. Addiction can be defined as the avoidance of problems, and from a sentimental point of view, it is far easier to avoid problems than to face them head-on. Therefore, when we are faced with things that we find difficult to accept or that are beyond our ability, we will choose to engage in trivial activities that are unrelated to the matter in order to make ourselves feel "comfortable." However, the reality is that avoiding problems brings more negative experiences than facing them head-on.

If my brother is amenable to communication, we may inquire about his thesis and ascertain whether he is experiencing any difficulties or concerns. It is essential to exercise caution in our choice of words and to strive for an open and receptive approach. In the event that he does encounter challenges, we can collaborate to identify solutions and encourage him to seek assistance from educators, fellow students, or other qualified professionals. Throughout this process, our role is to provide support and understanding.

In regard to the examination, if your brother is amenable to sharing his thoughts with you, it would be advisable to listen attentively. You may wish to enquire as to his next plan or goal. In the event that he lacks a clear objective or direction, it would be prudent to encourage him to seek assistance and speak openly about his difficulties. It is futile to attempt to rouse someone who is feigning sleep, and the same is true of attempting to alter reality. If your brother is aware of his actions, it would be appropriate to inform him of your concerns and express your care for his physical wellbeing.

In the event that the other person is unaware of the situation, it is sufficient to report the observed facts and convey them to the other person.

Ultimately, in addressing the challenges my brother is confronting, it is imperative that we do so with a comprehensive grasp of the circumstances and a well-defined strategy. In this endeavor, it is crucial to avoid acting in haste, as this could potentially exacerbate the problem at hand.