What should I do when suddenly losing contact with a boy who has avoidant attachment style?

The situation you describe is indeed very complex. However, it is essential to prioritize your own health and well-being. Building a relationship with someone who avoids attachment can be challenging and requires patience and understanding.

1. Whether to continue the relationship: This is a decision that should be made on a case-by-case basis, taking into account the individual circumstances of the parties involved. It is essential to carefully weigh the feelings and needs of all parties involved.

Despite the mutual feelings between you, if his avoidant attachment is having a negative effect on you, you may need to consider terminating the relationship. However, if you feel that the relationship is worth salvaging and are willing to invest time and resources, then perhaps you could consider continuing.

2. Initiate contact: This is a complex issue. People who avoid attachment are usually more comfortable being alone and may feel stressed and uncomfortable.

Initiating contact may increase his stress levels, but it may also enhance his sense of value. You may wish to consider sending a concise message expressing your understanding and support, while also respecting his space.

Alternatively, waiting for him to initiate contact may afford him additional time and space to address his emotions, but it may also result in a communication breakdown.

3. How to maintain self-care and relationship health:

4. Pay attention to your own feelings. Ensure that you are emotionally and mentally well-balanced. Do not compromise your own happiness in order to maintain the relationship.

5. Respect his needs: It is important to respect his space and needs, and to avoid exerting pressure or pursuing them excessively.

6. Seek assistance: Consult with close associates, family members, or a professional counselor for guidance and advice.

Should you elect to continue the relationship, it is essential to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and needs, while respecting his feelings and boundaries.

Ultimately, regardless of the decision you make, it is essential to prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

Everyone is actually still growing and changing. Just because you've been avoiding this relationship for a while now doesn't mean it'll always be that way. If you're ready to let go, then you need to be brave and accept the consequences of letting go. If you're not ready to give up on this relationship and you're willing to work on it, there are actually many things you can do.

You can support each other in so many ways to give warmth and strength to each other in the relationship. It's totally normal to feel the way you do. We all have been hurt in previous relationships, especially in early relationships, and we all feel that relationships are not safe. But in fact, this is not the case. When you can work together to establish a sense of security in the relationship, you will become happier and happier.

1. Make a gratitude list and feel the warmth of your interactions with each other often!

For instance, when your partner pours you a cup of soothing hot brown sugar water when you're feeling under the weather, or when you're having a rough day and need a shoulder to lean on, or when it's your birthday and your partner goes above and beyond to make it a special day, or when you're feeling down and your partner is there to lift your spirits... And you can also create lots of warm, loving interactions for your partner, which will all be stored as beautiful memories in your relationship.

When you feel more care and love for each other, and when you want to avoid it, your hearts can gradually be melted by love. This allows you to communicate and interact more smoothly with each other, allowing the relationship and love to flow in a cycle, nourishing each other.

2. Be sure to communicate in a positive way and express your needs and vulnerabilities.

Christopher Monn said something really interesting in his book, Intimacy: A Bridge to the Soul. He said that the real motivation behind starting and maintaining an intimate relationship lies in our needs.

If you don't express your needs and vulnerabilities in the relationship, it can lead to superficial avoidance and arguments. It's important to be sincere and consistent in your expression so that your partner knows what you need and what you're afraid of. Even if he wants to help you, he might not know how to. You can encourage him to express his vulnerabilities and needs. When you can see his vulnerabilities and needs and give him the care he specifically needs, he'll feel more and more secure in the relationship. When expressing, you can follow this model: express your true feelings, needs, and specific requests to the other person without judging or blaming.

This kind of open and honest communication will not only help you both feel less stressed and more supported, but it will also make you feel needed and loved. Regular positive chats will also help your relationship grow and bring you closer together.

3. If you're open to it, you can absolutely combine individual counseling with marriage counseling!

The great news is that you can actually get individual counseling and marriage counseling at the same time, and you might even see better results!

The wonderful American marriage psychologist Fosdick once said something really wise: "There are no failed marriages in the world, only failed people. All marital problems reflect the nature of people."

Professor Song Jiayu, the chief expert of the China Marriage Counseling and Rescue Network and a well-known expert on marital psychology in China, wrote in his book Pulsing Marriage that "almost all marital problems are related to a person's character." He's absolutely right! Relatively healthy marital and family relationships often involve spouses with relatively good character traits or relatively healthy personality qualities. Marriages with problems often involve spouses with at least one party having shortcomings or problems in some aspect of their personality or character. These problems can affect their marital and family relationships, and they can affect us all in different ways.

The wonderful marriage psychologists provide such helpful explanations of marital problems. They really know how to pinpoint the crux, nature, and causes of these problems. And they offer great advice on how to handle family relationships and resolve family conflicts.

When we solve our own marital problems and family conflicts, it's also a great idea to take a look at our own shortcomings from the personality level. That's the only way we can ultimately solve marital problems! It's a kind of dialectical relationship between internal and external factors, as well as a cause-and-effect relationship between cause and result.

I truly believe that when you can improve your respective personalities through individual counseling and adjust your interaction patterns through marriage counseling, you will ultimately reap the rewards of stable happiness.

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

From what you've told me, it seems like you both agree that confirming your relationship is the main source of your emotional conflicts.

If you're both not ready for a relationship, you might find yourselves talking at the same level as before. But here's the thing: one or both of you probably wants to enter into a relationship. This desire comes from an inner need to build a strong, stable emotional connection. But the fear of a deep relationship breaking down can feel like a firm noose around the throat.

I'm so glad you asked! I'd love to help you decide if you want to continue the relationship.

We have so many complex thoughts, and our emotions are the driving force behind them. But we adapt to the mainstream thinking of society and always maintain a fresh motivation (because it comes from society, and people live in society). This mainstream thinking is rationality, and to maintain a constant battle against it requires emotions to continue to function. How long can you sustain such emotions?

If you don't give up, you might want to think about taking the initiative to contact them.

It's so important to make contact when you can, and to share your thoughts and feelings clearly. We all have different ideas and ways of thinking, and it can be tricky to know how others will react to what we say. But the best thing we can do is to be open and honest about our willingness to communicate openly and with a clear conscience.

Ultimately, it all depends on what you truly need, how long you can wait, and how much you can give. But don't worry, I'm here to help!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, question asker. From your description, I can sense that you are experiencing a complex emotional state. While you may be considering letting go of this relationship from a rational perspective, your emotions seem to be holding you back. This internal conflict is likely contributing to your daily struggles.

Test: It seems that both of you have avoidant attachment styles. People with these styles often prefer to be independent and self-reliant, rarely complain, and talk more about things and ideas than about themselves. They may also tend to prioritize logic and reason over emotions and feelings. When they get too close to someone they care about, they may feel overwhelmed, and the pressure inside them can intensify when they become emotionally dependent on others.

People with avoidant attachment may prefer to maintain a certain distance from others, even in intimate relationships.

People with avoidant attachment may have a strong sense of boundaries and a tendency to stay within their comfort zone. When someone intrudes upon their space or they are required to step out of their comfort zone, they may experience feelings of panic and nervousness.

It seems that the boy you like has an avoidant attachment style, which is more serious. When the questioner suggests a clear couple relationship, that is, breaking through the current situation, the other party may naturally feel pressure and tension, and perhaps more discomfort. It is understandable that the other person's fear, panic attacks, depression, etc. are all reactions to the situation, and they are also normal reactions!

You have taken a step forward by breaking out of your comfort zone and reaching out to the other person. It's understandable that the other person's strong sense of rejection may have caused you pain and frustration.

I am unsure whether I should continue or let go of this relationship.

It can be quite challenging. Two individuals with avoidant attachment styles may find common ground in their ability to understand each other and coexist harmoniously.

It can be challenging to find someone who truly understands you and shares your feelings. Avoidant attachment styles often lead people to prioritize their own space, which can result in a lack of intimacy and emotional factors. It's also understandable that it can be difficult to break away from an existing relationship.

I would like to suggest that we consider how I might be able to help the other person to overcome their fear, anxiety and stress. I would also like to think about how I can face the hurt that comes from being pushed away.

It can often feel as though rationality and emotion are at odds with each other, and your situation may also feel somewhat out of control.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider contacting him again if you don't give up.

Given your decision not to give up on him, it would be beneficial to contact him in a proactive manner. It seems that he has retreated into his own world to heal or protect himself. In this situation, it would be helpful for you to take the initiative to contact him, clearly express your thoughts, attitudes, and opinions, be patient, and wait for him to come out, or work hard together to grow.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to take the initiative and say something nice.

It would be beneficial to express your attitude, views, feelings, expectations for the future, and patience to the other person. Consider spending time, love, and patience with him.

In response to the situation and issues you have described, I would like to offer some analysis and advice.

It would be helpful to understand the characteristics of avoidant attachment in order to deal with this situation. People who are avoidant attachers often feel uneasy in intimate relationships and may avoid or keep their distance.

It would be beneficial for both parties in this kind of relationship to make an effort to establish trust and a sense of stability.

Ultimately, the decision to continue or end the relationship is a deeply personal one. It's essential to consider your own emotional needs and tolerance, as well as the other person's situation.

If you feel that the relationship is causing you too much pain and uncertainty, you may wish to consider letting go. However, if you believe that you can grow together and overcome these difficulties, you could choose to continue to try.

If you decide to persevere in the relationship, it would be advisable to consider whether you would like to contact the other person. In this case, it may be more beneficial to wait for them to initiate contact.

It is worth noting that avoidant attachment individuals often require more time and space to process their emotions. Therefore, initiating contact proactively may potentially lead to an increase in stress and anxiety for the other person.

However, it is also possible that a prolonged absence could potentially lead to a gradual estrangement. Therefore, you might consider sending a short, gentle message expressing your concern and support at an appropriate time, while giving him enough space to deal with his problems.

A message like this could be: "I know you've been going through a challenging period recently, and I hope you're taking care of yourself. If you need any support or would like to talk, I'm here for you."

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It would also be beneficial to focus on your own well-being while pursuing the relationship. It is important to ensure that your emotions and needs are being met, and to avoid becoming overly dependent on the other person.

It would also be beneficial to learn how to establish a stable relationship with an avoidant person. This could include learning to recognize and deal with the other person's avoidance behaviors, as well as how to effectively express your own needs and feelings.

It is also important to be aware that dealing with avoidant attachment is a complex and lengthy process. Should you feel confused or unable to cope on your own, you may wish to consider seeking professional psychological counseling.

A counselor can be a valuable resource in helping you gain a deeper understanding of your own and your partner's behavior patterns, develop effective coping strategies, and make well-informed decisions.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. I wish you a happy and joyful day!