What should parents do if their child is about to take the high school entrance exam, is down in the dumps, and is listless and anxious?

It's so sad to see a child who is depressed and listless every day, and it's understandable that the parents are annoyed. You're trying to arrange for the child to do something instead of watching videos, but he doesn't listen to anything. It must be so frustrating for you, and I can imagine how you feel. You want to help him, but he rejects everything. I can understand your feelings of aggrievement and worry about the child's state.

First, let me give the questioner a big, warm hug!

The middle school entrance exam and the college entrance exam are both major turning points in a child's life. It's totally normal to feel a little anxious during these special periods! In fact, a little anxiety can help us stay focused and ready to take on whatever comes next. But if it gets too intense, it can have a negative impact.

I think the best way to deal with these special emotions is to take a multi-step approach.

First, let's figure out if this behavior is reasonable and normal.

You asked him to water the plants, feed the fish, and sweep the floor, but he didn't want to do any of it. I think this is totally normal for a child his age!

Children at this age are still in adolescence. It's totally normal for them to want to establish their own identity and to crave independence. They need to be able to make their own decisions to prove their independence. They are full of contradictions, with both yearning and longing for a bright future and frustration and sadness at not being able to live up to their expectations.

They really need to form a perception of "what kind of person I am" through facts. From this perspective, I think these behaviors are totally reasonable.

"The child watches videos as soon as he gets home." I'd love to know more! Does he come home from studying for the evening or from the evening and watch videos without doing his homework?

It would be great to know how long he watches for! Does he watch for hours on end and just can't tear himself away, or does he watch for a while and then stop?

What videos is he watching? If he watches them in moderation, I totally get it. It can be a great way for him to relax and relieve stress. If he's watching videos about school, maybe he's still thinking about and analyzing where to go to high school.

I totally get it. I don't think it's wrong at all to "just watch videos when you get home." It might just not be what you expected.

With the high school entrance exam just around the corner, it's totally understandable that parents might feel a bit nervous. It's natural to want your child to spend a lot of time studying on their own initiative. But if the pressure is too great, things might not go as well as we'd all hope.

It's important to find a good balance between relaxation and stress. It's totally normal for kids at this age to start forming their own rhythm and learning methods that don't match their parents' expectations.

Next, parents should try to keep their cool and be there for their little ones whenever they need them.

It's tough being a parent, isn't it? You really have to be there for your kids and pay attention to how they're feeling during this special time. As we said before, the different stages of learning and psychology can really put a lot of pressure on children.

Their shoulders may still be tender, but they are eager to explore the world on their own. As parents, we can't explore the world for them, but we can stand by their side, give them encouragement, and lend a helping hand when they need it.

Once again, you can definitely try to discuss future plans with your child.

Once the mock exam results come out, you'll have a good idea of where your child stands. This is a great time to chat with him about his future plans and prospects!

It's also a good idea to ask him what he thinks he can achieve and whether he feels he's met those expectations. If not, it's worth having a chat about what he can do to make that happen.

From what you've told me about your child, it seems like he's going through a lot right now. It's possible that he's feeling stressed because his expectations weren't met, which can cause internal conflict. If that's the case, I think it would be helpful to encourage him to acknowledge these emotions and then discuss with him what can be done.

After all, the high school entrance exam is just one small milestone in life. There's still so much time ahead of you! Even if you don't do well on the exam, there are many cases of people who have turned it around in the college entrance exam. The key is to figure out what your goals are and what kind of life you want to lead.

If you really can't influence him, I think you can start by being a good person yourself. Try to adjust your own emotions to a more positive state. You could try going out for more exercise, listening to more soothing music, and letting the energy in the home flow as freely as possible. This will help to create a positive atmosphere at home, which will have a healing effect on your child.

Hi, I'm Tianyang, a heart exploration coach. I just wanted to wish you all the best!

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you out.

Yes, it's really not easy to be a parent. But you can do it! Give him a hug. I hope you can feel some warmth and support. And I also hope that you can give yourself support and stability, which is also very important for your child. I think there must be a reason why your child is listless and depressed. We need to stand together with our child to find out what the reason is. And when he feels that you understand him and that you are standing together with him, your words will have an amazing effect!

Videos are a great way to unwind, but there's so much more to life than just watching! It's time to dive deep and understand what's really going on. We can guide him to find a sense of self in the real world. We can help him understand his needs and guide him to satisfy them in the real world. He'll come out of it stronger than ever! And, it's important for us to pay attention to our own emotions and state. When we can be a container for our child's emotions and give him support and positive guidance, he'll be able to pick himself up when he's lost.

I've got some great advice for you!

It's so important to understand, accept, and empathize with your child. Let him know you're on his side! Don't criticize or blame him. This will not only prevent him from changing, but it will also damage your parent-child relationship.

I'm excited to hear how you communicate with your child when he is watching videos and not going out! If you have managed to understand him, accept him, and empathize with him, so that he feels that you are on his side, then keep up the great work! I believe it will definitely be effective. If you have a critical and accusatory attitude, then it's time to start changing your attitude towards your child. If you keep being critical and accusatory, your child will feel that you do not understand him, and he will be even less willing to talk to you about anything. Of course, he will also be reluctant to listen to what you say. Let's work together to make some positive changes!

A good parent-child relationship is the foundation of communication. Without it, no matter how much you say, it just won't be as effective. But with a good parent-child relationship, you can be sure that your child will understand, accept, and respect you.

2. On the basis of a good parent-child relationship, explore the reasons together with your child. It's a great opportunity to give him positive guidance, encouragement, support, and trust!

Once you understand that the child is watching videos to satisfy certain needs, that they also want to change but have encountered difficulties and don't know what to do, that they're currently struggling, and that they have some choice in the matter, you can start to build a strong, supportive relationship with them! By expressing your concern and understanding for them, accepting their current state, and respecting their autonomy, you're showing them that you're on their side. This is an important first step! Once you've built this foundation, you can start to express your true feelings, share some of your worries and hopes, and explore the reasons why they're feeling down and what specific difficulties they've encountered. This is where the magic begins! By giving them encouragement and support, believing in their ability to overcome these challenges, and expressing your trust in them, you're instilling a sense of confidence and resilience in them. You're also giving them the courage to face the next challenges head-on! Finally, you can ask them how you can provide them with support and help, and then provide them with concrete, helpful resources. This is the moment of truth!

There are so many benefits to watching videos! From a psychological perspective, they can satisfy many of a child's needs, such as the need for companionship, the need for happiness, and perhaps the need for a sense of achievement if they are playing games. They can also help children meet some social needs. This is because in real life, they cannot get these needs met, so they satisfy themselves in this way. You can observe what kind of videos he likes to watch or what games he plays, and see what needs can be met behind this. Then you can help him get this kind of need satisfaction in the real world! For example, if he wants to feel a sense of achievement, you can start by changing your own words. When he makes a little progress, for example, if he comes out to eat on his own initiative, if he puts down his phone on time, if he goes to bed on time, you can give him encouragement and recognition. This will help him experience a sense of achievement. Then gradually guide him to create a sense of achievement in his studies and sports. This will help him to naturally not be addicted to the phone!

3. Look after yourself and keep your emotions in check. This is a great way to show your child that you're there for them!

When you are emotionally unstable, you may easily lose your temper with your child. But don't worry! This is totally normal. When we are in the mood, our rational brain is offline and our emotional brain is dominant. It is difficult for us to control our emotions. But there are ways to calm yourself down and communicate with your child more effectively. Try going for a walk outside, talking to a friend, or taking a few deep breaths. When you have become calm, it is better to communicate with your child. When your child is emotional, we need to catch his emotions, rather than start an argument with him. Be his emotional container. When you can catch his emotions, your stability is a kind of support. Then, when his emotions have stabilized, you can give him some guidance. You need to see the needs behind his emotions, whether he wants to be recognized, seen, or understood. Invite him to express it, which will allow you to understand him better. Then, give him positive responses, especially trust and encouragement. For example, Mom believes you can manage your time, and Mom believes you can face difficulties positively. You can do it!

A child's brain is still developing, and the prefrontal lobe in particular is not yet mature. It is very normal to have emotions, and that's totally okay! Accepting him will make you emotional, and you will also see that emotions have a time limit. After a while, he will calm down on his own. Communicate with him in a calm state, see his needs, and give him encouragement and support. Perhaps this is what he wants, and it's so great that you're there to support him!

I'm so excited to share this with you! I really hope it helps. Best wishes!

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey, your Heart Exploration coach.

As a mother, I totally get where the questioner is coming from. I'm here to give you a big hug if you need one!

The questioner mentioned that the child is about to take the anxiety/after-failing-the-junior-high-school-entrance-exam-i-lost-hope-in-myself-how-do-i-move-on-12425.html" target="_blank">high school entrance exam, is feeling down, and is very anxious. What are the specific things that the questioner is anxious about? Is it that he is worried that he will not do well in the exam and will not get into a school, or that he doesn't want to take the exam and will not get a junior high school diploma?

It might help you to try and break down your feelings to find the source of your anxiety.

It would be great to know whether the questioner is feeling frustrated because the child doesn't listen, or if they're concerned about the child's test results. It's also possible that they're worried about the impact of the child's mobile phone use on their eyesight and health.

Every problem is different, so it's important to find the best way to help.

Has the questioner asked the child why they like watching videos so much? It would be great to know if it's because of a mobile phone addiction, or if it's to escape the pressure of studying.

Have you ever tried communicating more with your child? You might be surprised at what you find out! For example, my child may play with her phone because it's new and interesting, or because she's lonely. When I'm willing to take the time to ask, she'll give me an answer.

It would be really helpful to know how the questioner communicates with her child. Is she more of a yeller, a calm communicator, or a command-giver?

Even though kids are still young, they have personalities just like us. It's so important to understand and respect them, especially as they start to grow up and develop their own sense of independence during puberty.

As adults, we have so many different roles and responsibilities to juggle, and it can be really challenging to be patient and listen to our kids when we're feeling overwhelmed. But we can all try to avoid getting into a fight when we're feeling emotional and find a way to calm ourselves down. I really like what a counselor said to her child: "You are responsible for your grades, and I am responsible for my emotions." I know you're going through puberty, but I also have menopause. Let's be careful with each other.

It can be really helpful to try to separate issues and distinguish between what is your child's business and what is your own. We may only be able to guide our children on their issues, but we cannot order them to do what they must do, as this may easily provoke their rebelliousness.

It's a great idea to let your little one see you being vulnerable. It'll make them feel needed and boost their self-confidence!

It's okay if your child doesn't do well on an exam. But it's important to remember that they may suffer if they don't get the grades they can get. The point of studying is for the child, not the parents. It gives them more choices in life. I often tell my child the difference between me and her father. This helps her understand the true meaning of studying.

It's so important to remember not to accuse. Sometimes, the tighter you hold on to a rebellious child, the worse the result may be. I once had a younger brother who got hooked on the internet in junior high school. No matter how hard his parents tried to help him, he could not turn back. In the end, he dropped out of school before graduating from junior high.

It's so important to listen to your child's heart. We often worry about whether they're doing well in school, but we don't always think about whether they're tired from all the non-academic activities. The world of children is not as easy as we think! When we were kids, what did we hate most when we were unmotivated to study? Try to treat others the way you'd like to be treated. When we put ourselves in other people's shoes, we may be more tolerant.

It's so important to remember that Rome wasn't built in a day, and you can't cram a huge amount of knowledge into the last month of school. Allowing your child to learn at their own pace will give them a greater sense of control, which is so important for their wellbeing.

I'd highly recommend reading "Positive Discipline," "Co-Parenting," and "The Power of Empathy."

Wishing you all the best!

As the saying goes, "All parents are worried about their children." It's totally normal to worry about your little ones! But, you know, if you don't worry, you can't let go. And if you worry too much, the kids won't accept it. Being a parent is really a difficult task, but you've got this!

Hi, I'm Yu, a parent of a student, and I'd love to chat with you about this topic.

First, let's chat about interactive communication. Your little one is about to take the high school entrance exam and is already a young adult. It's totally normal for kids this age to have their own "territories" in life and to yearn for their own "independence," like having their own bedroom, their own circle of friends, and their own interests and hobbies. These "territories" can help distinguish them from others and show their uniqueness, so we can call them their boundaries.

In parent-child relationships and interactions, parents often think that their children are part of their own body, and therefore can command them at will. But children are always independent individuals, not only physically, but also mentally.

Let's ask ourselves what we were thinking when we let our little ones water the plants, feed the fish, and sweep the floor.

We can also ask ourselves what we were thinking when our little ones responded with a "no" to everything. What emotions and feelings did it bring out in us?

We can also ask ourselves what needs our little ones might be expressing with their feedback.

There are so many ways to interact! As long as we put ourselves in our children's shoes, we can explore which kind of communication is more conducive to the parent-child relationship and also to our own emotions. I truly believe you will find a way that suits you, especially during this special stage.

Let's chat about emotions again! Emotions are made up of unique experiences we have inside, things that happen outside, and physical changes in our bodies. Each emotion might be the result of something we want but didn't get. When we miss out on a promotion or a pay raise, we feel sad. When we lose something we've had for a long time, like a favorite toy or a special blanket, we feel angry.

As the original poster wrote, sometimes this state of my child makes me feel so anxious that I don't even want to stay at home.

Let's take a moment to ask ourselves: What is it that our hearts truly need? What is it that makes us feel reluctant to stay at home?

We can also ask ourselves some other really interesting questions, like: What is the ideal self? What is the ideal parent-child relationship?

What can you do to help yourself?

However, awareness is the first step to making a change, so we can try to get along with our emotions. When anxious emotions arise, we can try to shout "stop," take a deep breath, and quietly watch them without any judgment. Let the emotions come and go freely like clouds, and drift away slowly like fallen leaves in the water. We can also try writing therapy, writing and drawing out our current mood, so that emotions can find an outlet and be released.

We can find a good time to chat with our kids and really listen to them. We can hear about their recent studies, talk about their recent worries, and even ask them about what they think we could do better at home. What do they want us to do to support and help them?

There's no need to make any judgments or explanations. We just need to help the child express their emotions honestly and understand what's behind them. For example, if it's because of recent placement tests, the child might feel insecure about their grades. If it's because of the pressure of studying, the child might not get enough sleep or energy. If it's because of the voices from school, parents, and the media, the child might feel overwhelmed. We don't need to make any promises to the child about some of the needs they've raised, but we can respond immediately. As parents, we'll always be there for our children as they grow up, so that they know we care about their well-being.

We can also seek help. We know this is a tough situation, and it's not easy to overcome it immediately. Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel it's necessary, you can also find a counselor. It's important to have someone you can talk to about your feelings.

In the meantime, we also need to take care of our little ones' daily lives and nutrition, as well as maintaining a harmonious family environment and a quiet learning atmosphere at home. We keep quiet while our children study, and we relax together when they are relaxed. The details of life can give children emotional satisfaction and a sense of security everywhere, and children will naturally concentrate on their studies.