When I was a freshman, my approach was a failure. What would you all do in this situation?

Hello, question asker!

I totally get it. I can see how this dilemma you faced in university must have been really stressful and unsettling for you. I admire your kindness in how you handled the situation. In my opinion, you made a great choice. As you said, the safety of your classmates is the most important thing.

I'm really sorry to hear that you felt your way of dealing with it was not appropriate. I can see that you said it was just an example and a joke, but I'm still a bit hurt. I'm sure there are lots of ways to look at this, and I don't think everyone thinks this way.

Next, let's dive a little deeper into this together. I'd love to help you understand and deal with this issue from a psychological perspective.

Let's talk about empathy and communication!

I'm so proud of you for being there for your classmate when they had an allergic reaction. It was so thoughtful of you to try to protect their privacy. I could see that you were trying your best, but I also think you might have felt a bit helpless at the time. Maybe you thought the dorm manager would come to the door, but things got a bit out of hand because you were just being naive. If we think about it from the perspective of empathy, we can see that everyone in this situation is looking at it from their own position. That's why communication is so important. If we can use this opportunity to focus on practicing empathy and communication, it is actually a very good learning opportunity.

2. Emotion Management

We all know that when we're feeling stressed, our emotions can really affect our decision-making abilities. But there's good news! Learning to calm down, take a deep breath, and consider different solutions can help you deal with similar situations better.

From here on out, we'll learn that when we're calm, we'll be able to handle things in a different way and think of better solutions.

3. Self-reflection and growth It's so important to take a moment for yourself to think about what you could do differently next time. We can all learn from our mistakes, and this is a great chance to grow!

It's totally normal to look back on past experiences and think about your own shortcomings in dealing with problems. It's all part of growing up! You can learn from this experience to make more informed decisions in similar situations in the future.

4. Social relationships and feelings of isolation

If you feel isolated, don't be afraid to reach out to other students, participate in social activities, and show your friendliness and openness. You'll be amazed at how much it can help to improve your social environment!

It's so great that you're here asking a question! It shows you're aware of your current situation, which is the first step to healing. You can try changing yourself a little and reaching out to more reliable classmates.

I truly believe that the most important thing is not to let past experiences haunt your current university life. We all make mistakes, and the key is to learn from them and keep growing.

And remember, you haven't made a mistake at all! If you're feeling emotionally troubled, you can also consider consulting with a psychological professional, who can provide more specific advice and support. You have the amazing ability to overcome difficulties and develop better problem-solving methods!

I know it can be tough, but try to believe that there are more ways than problems. Just remember, as long as you are on the path to solving the problem, it will be solved in time. You've got this!

Believe in yourself, the world, and I love you so much!

Dear Question Asker,

You are currently in your third year of university, yet you continue to dwell on an incident that occurred two years ago, which has caused you distress ever since.

I commend you for your candor. It requires fortitude to lay bare one's innermost thoughts and experiences.

From your account, it is evident that a failure has occurred. The description includes the words "a failure," "a great failure," and "perhaps a little ridiculous."

However, you also indicated that at the time, you lacked the knowledge to determine an appropriate course of action and inquired as to the probable response of your peers.

As you have only described some events and actions and have not provided insight into your true feelings about the matter, it is difficult to ascertain your true attitude and subsequent actions.

It can be surmised that a certain degree of regret is present, coupled with the perception that a less than optimal outcome was achieved. However, an element of acceptance seems to be present as well, given that at the time, the situation was not fully comprehended. Consequently, the perceived impact of the matter itself is not perceived as particularly detrimental.

However, the attitude of the instructor and classmates towards you is quite challenging to navigate. It is possible that you are uncertain about the rationale behind this treatment and feel aggrieved. It is understandable that you would hope to alter the situation.

Nevertheless, the passage of time precludes further reflection on past events.

Let us undertake a review of the handling of this matter. While it cannot be said to be without flaws, it does not appear to present any significant problems.

This is because I observed you stating, "I am unable to secure the safety of a living individual in an emergency situation within a dormitory and isolate them from the outside world." When addressing this issue, you demonstrated a conviction in protecting the life of another person, even if the method was not executed perfectly.

It is important to recognise that many unexpected events may represent one's first experience of such a situation and that there is a lack of experience in dealing with them effectively. It is not possible to deal with the details perfectly.

However, what is the most crucial principle to grasp in this context, and what is the fundamental conclusion to be drawn? It seems sufficient to prioritize the protection of the most essential elements.

In addressing this matter, you also held the view that the safety of your classmates was of paramount importance, even if the chosen method was not optimal and you were subjected to disciplinary action. Nevertheless, you proceeded in a manner that you deemed appropriate.

Should you be able to achieve this kind of relief, it would be beneficial. With regard to the attitude of the instructor and your classmates, you may ascertain the reasons behind the instructor's perception of your poor problem-solving abilities.

It would be advisable to arrange a meeting with the instructor to gain insight into his perspective. During this meeting, it would be beneficial to be honest and explain that you are being isolated by your classmates. Despite your best efforts, you may not have handled the situation perfectly from the instructor's viewpoint.

Should the instructor's attitude towards the student in question undergo a change, this may have a disruptive effect on the student's current situation. In the event that the instructor persists in maintaining their position, it would appear that no further action is required.

One should not strive for absolute perfection in all endeavors, but rather strive for a clear conscience.

I wish you the best of success!

Hi, I'm Berek.

It's normal to feel nervous, flustered, or overwhelmed in sudden situations. Especially when dealing with a serious allergic reaction in a classmate, your worries and panic are understandable.

You handled the situation poorly, which led to problems.

You were stressed. You had to take care of the classmate who had an allergic reaction. You were also worried that your actions might cause trouble.

The pressure made it hard for you to make good choices.

Empathy is important. Stand in your classmate's shoes. Understand his concern about not wanting people to know about his allergy.

You also need to understand your own panic and unease to make better decisions.

You should have sought help from a medical professional right away. You should have respected your classmate's right to life and health and forced an ambulance.

Second, you can try to contact other students or teachers to help solve the problem. Finally, you can also try to communicate with your classmates to understand what they need.

Now that it's over, we need to learn from it and improve our response. Learn some basic first aid so you can respond better in similar situations.

You can improve your ability to handle pressure and remain calm. You can also improve your communication skills and learn to work with others.

Tell your classmates and teachers what's going on. Show them who you are and what you can do.

This experience has caused you distress and frustration, but it is also a valuable opportunity for growth. You can improve your ability to cope and become a more mature and confident person.

Best wishes.

Hello! I'd like to extend a warm hug from afar. I'm grateful to have read your request for help and hope that my sharing can provide some support and assistance.

From your description, I can sense that you are experiencing feelings of guilt, self-blame, and a desire to be understood, respected, and approved.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that at that moment, your actions were not inappropriate at all. It seems that your motivation was driven by a genuine concern and care for your classmate with food allergies. It's also possible that you saw this as an opportunity to skip class and play games, given that your classmate had made it clear that they did not require your company and that you should return to class and attend the lesson. This could also explain why you feel a sense of guilt and self-blame afterwards, and why you find it challenging to let go of this matter.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that your classmates' allergies becoming known to everyone may have caused them a lot of harm, and that the teacher's subsequent labeling of you as "having extremely poor ability to handle things" may have been unfair. It seems that you are struggling to accept and forgive yourself for this. What are your thoughts on this?

Ultimately, it is understood that you did not intend to cause harm. You may wish to consider expressing your sincere regret for the inconvenience caused by your unconscious mistake to the classmate in question. Writing a letter to him could be a way to convey your desire for greater understanding.

In that moment, you may have found yourself lacking the courage to apologize sincerely to him, perhaps due to feelings of deep inner guilt, self-blame, grievances, and panic. What are your thoughts on this?

Facing the dormitory management and the misunderstanding of the counselors, the labeling can make you feel isolated, misunderstood, and disrespected. You might consider trying to express your true inner feelings and needs in that moment. The reason you didn't do this is because you were struggling to accept your current self.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this.

Freud theorized that all unconscious mistakes, such as forgetting your keys or realizing the wind is strong but not bringing them, are actually your subconscious's way of resisting returning to class. Being aware of this is important.

It may be helpful to consider that the needs underlying any seemingly unreasonable behavior are worth being seen, accepted, and responded to. By attempting to understand the needs behind your unconscious behavior, you may find yourself becoming more accepting and understanding of what you have done.

Perhaps you will also realize that there might be a better way to respond and satisfy your inner needs. For example, you could ask the teacher for a night off. What do you think?

At the same time, it is important to recognize that in order to provide others with the best possible support and assistance, we must first acknowledge and address our own shortcomings. Otherwise, we run the risk of causing harm to ourselves and others, even with the best of intentions.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that your past choices may not be defined in terms of failure or success. This could help you avoid a sense of frustration, loss, and self-doubt, as well as a lack of confidence and fear of making choices and decisions easily and actively. It's possible that your current perception of your past choices as immature is influenced by your perception of your current perception and experience. It's also possible that your past choices, while perhaps not as mature as you would like, have inspired you to grow and develop. What are your thoughts on this?

It might be helpful to remember that there is no such thing as a good or bad choice, right or wrong. As long as you are responsible for every choice you make in the moment and can gradually reflect on and grow from your less mature choices, then all choices are there to help you grow better. What are your thoughts on this?

Hi, great question.

This happened two years ago, but it's still on your mind, which means it's still stressing you out. Now you need to have the courage to face it again, so I'm giving you a thumbs up. Let's explore together to find out what you care about the most here, and I hope it will help you let go.

[Some emotions that have not been dealt with in a timely manner]

Throughout this whole process, you've experienced a lot of complex emotions, but you haven't really perceived them. Your psychological defense may have suppressed the emotions, but they haven't disappeared just because you've been avoiding them or suppressing them. They've been suppressed into your subconscious mind, where they affect your current life in ways you're not aware of.

[How to deal with them]

They just need to be seen by you. When you see them, understand how they arise and develop, accept them, and stop judging your past self, they'll dissipate. So, what feeling do you care about the most and find it hard to let go of?

— Is it shame or embarrassment? Or remorse or guilt?

Or maybe it's frustration?

Frustration? Grievance?

"My way of handling it was a complete failure." Is that really true?

I can tell you're feeling pretty self-critical and frustrated right now. You feel like you could have handled the situation better, but is it wrong to care about your classmates? Is it wrong to skip class to stay with a sick classmate?

Even though the situation didn't turn out the way you hoped, it seems like your classmate still feels upset. It seems like no one else understands that you were genuinely worried about your classmate and that you were only trying to keep him from skipping class.

First of all, you were genuinely concerned about your classmate. Even though he refused to help, you stayed with him. These are the facts. It makes sense that you stayed with him in the dormitory because you were worried about him.

And being isolated? Seems a bit unreasonable to me.

[Understand yourself and forgive yourself]

If you think that the fact that "the whole class knows about this" is why you feel guilty, I want to tell you that although you couldn't have foreseen this and you are partly responsible, it's not entirely your fault. The student with allergies feels ashamed and doesn't want others to know that he is allergic, which is why he was hurt.

The dormitory supervisor's lack of trust also made things more complicated, and the instructor didn't handle the situation very well. He has his own way of thinking about things.

I hope you can take a step back and look at this more objectively, without blaming yourself.

I hope this helps.

I'm your neighbor, Potato Maling, and I've known you since you were young. Thanks for listening.

Good morning, my name is Coach Yu from Heart Exploration, and I would like to discuss this topic with you.

Emotional perception is defined as our ability to recognize, control, and regulate our emotions. It is also a manifestation of emotional intelligence.

In "The Plastic Me," Chen Jiejun posits that many individuals struggle to cope with their emotions and navigate life's challenges due to a lack of differentiation between feelings, emotions, and thoughts.

What are feelings? They can be defined as the physiological and biological responses of the human body to external stimuli.

For example, if an individual is stabbed with a needle, they will experience pain. Similarly, if the north wind blows in the winter, they will feel cold. Feelings encompass not only responses to external stimuli but also to internal stimuli.

As the questioner noted, I was experiencing a high level of distress at the time and sought the assistance of the dormitory supervisor.

Emotion can be defined as a person's reaction to feelings.

For example, in response to a hot environment, the body's peripheral nervous system may cause the palms of the hands to sweat and the heart to beat faster.

As the questioner noted, I experienced a stammering and a sense of apprehension when attempting to speak.

Thoughts can be defined as the cognitive processes through which an individual interprets and understands their own feelings and emotions.

As thoughts are understood and interpreted, they do not originate in the peripheral nervous system but in the central nervous system. As the questioner wrote, it is not possible to lock a living person in an emergency situation in a bedroom and cut off contact with the outside world. If anything happens to him, the questioner will be held accountable.

The following section will examine the aforementioned process in order to gain insight into the nature of emotional change and to facilitate the management and expression of emotions as a means of addressing the issue of emotional perception and interpersonal relationships.

What were our feelings and thoughts when a classmate was experiencing a severe allergic reaction and was lying on the ground in a state of distress, shivering and vomiting? The classmate had previously expressed a desire for privacy and had had a similar reaction on another occasion, so we were accustomed to such occurrences.

Indeed, one might inquire as to the thoughts and feelings that accompanied the decision to assist the individual in question in returning to his dormitory. While it may appear that this action was undertaken as a means of avoiding class, it is important to recognize that it was, in fact, an act of compassion and responsibility, both as classmates and in regard to the safety of others.

What were our emotional and cognitive responses when I was locked out of my dormitory room? I was compelled to open the door in order to retrieve my mobile phone.

Indeed, one might inquire as to the nature of one's own thoughts when approaching the dormitory manager. It would appear that there is a dearth of reasonable excuses, yet we persist in speaking truthfully and emphasizing the safety of our classmates. This may be attributed to our inherent honesty and respect for life.

What were our emotional and cognitive responses when I was summoned for a discussion with the monitor and counselor? I was requested to compose a self-reflection.

One might inquire as to how one would respond if the situation were to recur. It is possible that others may have a negative perception of one's ability to cope with such a scenario. However, based on the principle of separating issues, this may be an internal projection.

Therefore, feelings, emotions, and thoughts are the result of the coordination between the nervous system and the brain. The presence of smooth relationships contributes to feelings of calm.

It is possible to remain conscious of one's emotional state and attempt to resolve any internal conflicts. One can attempt to document the immediate emotional state. The written account is for the author's personal reflection, and therefore, it is encouraged to be candid and transparent in the expression of feelings. This process can facilitate an understanding of the genesis and consequences of emotions, as well as assist in identifying the fundamental causes of difficulties.

It is also possible to seek assistance, as overcoming this issue may prove challenging in the short term. It is advisable to identify a family member or friend who can provide positive support and guidance. Should the need arise, it is possible to consult with a counselor, as confronting and accepting the underlying issues is essential for gradually overcoming the negative thoughts.

It is essential to persist in the pursuit of self-improvement and self-awareness, while simultaneously recognizing and appreciating the nuances of life. Gradually, one will ascertain their intrinsic value and develop a comprehensive self-assessment system, thereby fostering greater ease in navigating the vicissitudes of life.

It is recommended that the reader peruse the following text: "The Plastic Me."

Dear classmate, I can feel your warmth, and I really hope my reply can support you.

It's so sad that what happened in your freshman year has always affected you. You've been isolated ever since, and I don't know how you've endured all these years. You've done a great job, and as long as you have a clear conscience, you've also given yourself an account.

I saw a child who was brave enough to take responsibility. For the sake of your classmate's reputation and his safety, you endured so much injustice. You deserve a round of applause for that! After all, you were just starting university at the time, and you did a pretty good job within your abilities.

It's just the way it is, isn't it? No matter what you do, there will always be people talking about you. Do you agree? Even if you're the best at what you do, there will still be a lot of people who don't agree with you. This is just human nature.

At the time, you were just trying to protect your classmate's secret, and you were also constantly concerned about your classmate's safety. I'm sure your classmate could sense it too.

You always think about others and care about them. You forgot about yourself, which is totally understandable! Others think you handled the problem poorly and were defined by others, but you're doing great! You bravely asked for help, and now it's time to get back to the present.

You were so brave to risk being accused by others to help your classmate. Your motive was good, and in the end, your classmate was not in danger. You did a great job!

Everyone has their own identity, and that's a beautiful thing! The dormitory manager and the instructor were just doing what they were supposed to do within the scope of their responsibilities. You can also be yourself, be inspired by this incident, and carry a great capacity for risk-taking and helping others.

At that time, you always remembered your classmate, helped him undress, and paid attention to changes in his body. You were small but caring and responsible. You did a great thing, and you don't have to pay for someone else's mistakes. You don't have to explain yourself. Your sense of responsibility and perspective are beyond the understanding of others.

We all have a tendency to be a little lazy sometimes, and it's totally normal to want to play hooky now and then. Give yourself a break, be brave, and say goodbye to your old self. Tell him that you can take care of yourself and that you are unique.

Wishing you all the best!

The situation you encountered was indeed very tricky. However, you handled it well. From your description of the process, I can understand your panic and helplessness at the time. But let's look at some better ways to handle a similar situation if it were to arise again:

Stay calm. In an emergency, staying calm is the most important thing. You must remain in control of your emotions to make the right decisions and take the right actions.

Seek professional medical help immediately. The safety of the allergic student is of the utmost importance, regardless of their requests. The school nurse or 120 should be informed without delay, and they must be made aware of the specific allergy situation and location.

Inform the relevant person in charge. In this case, the instructor or relevant person in charge of the school must be informed of the situation to provide the necessary assistance. Even if the classmate does not want too many people to know, the relevant person should still be informed for safety reasons.

Don't handle things yourself. You're not equipped to solve problems, especially matters of life and death. Your good intentions could cause more trouble if you don't handle things properly.

Afterwards, communicate and explain. Once the incident is settled, talk to your classmate again. Tell him your original intention and why you did what you did. Make sure he understands.

Take the initiative to communicate with your classmates. Explain the situation and express your apologies. Rebuild relationships with your classmates by participating in group activities and offering help.

Above all, learn from this experience and learn how to better handle similar emergencies. Everyone encounters difficulties and setbacks in the process of growing up. The key is to learn and grow from them.

Dear Question Asker,

The manner in which you handled the situation was deemed inappropriate, and this has left a lasting impression on you. Furthermore, you have been ostracised.

Such actions engender feelings of resentment and despondency.

Rather than disengaging from the situation, you took the initiative to contact the individual to ensure the safety of your classmate.

Your actions were not inappropriate. You are a kind individual.

The most distressing aspect of this situation is that your classmate was reluctant to disclose his allergy history, which subsequently led you to hesitate in sharing the truth.

This creates the false impression that you are being untruthful. Your initial motivation for providing this information was to safeguard your classmate's self-esteem.

Ultimately, however, the details of the allergy history were still revealed to the entire group, which is likely not the outcome that was desired.

The potential severity of an allergic reaction should not be underestimated. If an allergic reaction occurs, it can have long-lasting psychological consequences for those involved.

Only by disclosing his allergy history and taking appropriate precautions can he take preventive measures in advance. Concealing this information indefinitely will not foster a sense of self-reliance, but may potentially have adverse consequences.

The individuals who isolated you may not have had a comprehensive understanding of the situation. They may have simply labeled you based on their own speculations and the partial facts they observed. Your tutor did not take the initiative to ascertain the facts but instead requested that the monitor refrain from assigning you tasks. This is a highly irresponsible action. Even if you did not handle the situation effectively, your tutor still bears the responsibility of supervising your education. Instead of providing guidance, they contributed to your subsequent isolation. Their actions were excessive and inappropriate.

Despite the elapsed time of two years, the repercussions of this event remain evident.

Should you require further clarification, you are encouraged to consult with your mentor and trusted colleagues. Their insights may prove invaluable in helping you to gain a more comprehensive understanding of the matter at hand.

Persevere!

Dear Question Asker,

It has been approximately two years since the incident occurred, and it appears that you have not yet resolved your feelings about it. By sharing your experience and addressing this issue, you should be focusing on finding a resolution to your resentment. From your account, it seems that you are uncertain about your role in the situation and that you still feel resentful about being isolated.

I believe that to be correct.

Regarding the tutor's statement to the monitor, "Don't assign me things in the future because I'm extremely bad at handling things," was this a direct quote or a modified version? Was this truly the tutor's intention?

The counselor is the teacher closest to the student and handles all matters, big and small. It is only natural that the student's emotions are affected by his evaluation. Even if those were the counselor's exact words or true meaning, it does not guarantee that the evaluation was objective. Do you agree?

It is contrary to fundamental educational principles to deny an individual's abilities and refuse to assign them tasks based on a single incident. Students attend school to learn, not only knowledge but also how to behave and interact with others. After attempting a task and experiencing a setback, they can take a series of measures that are beneficial to the individual and the collective, such as providing constructive feedback, reviewing their approach, reflecting on their actions, and implementing improvements. They should not be deprived of the opportunity to try again or to grow.

From this perspective, the counselor's comments were ill-advised.

If you wish to learn from this experience, you may wish to ask the person who commented on you what they would have done differently. From the information I have received, it seems that no one's actions were inappropriate, just a few unexpected situations.

Furthermore, your decision to prioritize the safety of your classmates and employ every available means to gain access to the dormitory is commendable. In contrast, the allergic student's approach was somewhat unconventional.

Is the decision to isolate the individual truly a result of the incident in question? If you were to convene a meeting with all dormitory residents to discuss the incident, would you have the courage to do so?

In this matter, there may only be a narrow gap between isolation and being isolated, depending on who is willing to take the initiative and who is more proactive.

Given the considerable time that has elapsed since the incident, there is no need to rush to resolve it. If the opportunity arises, you may wish to attempt to untie the knot. Should you have already done so, and the issue remains unresolved, you may wish to allow time to elapse.

As long as you continue to develop professionally, the challenges you face will eventually dissipate.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello, questioner! It's clear to me that you're a kindhearted person who thinks about things from time to time. I know it's a long story, but in a nutshell, you once behaved inappropriately because you didn't handle an unexpected event the way you should have, which led to a chain reaction among the allergic students and almost delayed the rescue.

It's been a while since that happened, but it still makes you feel pretty bad when you think about it. If you hadn't been so careless, things might have turned out differently. You and your classmates might still be friends. It's not about what could have been done differently at the time. It's about how the situation could have been avoided in the first place. If you'd gone to the hospital instead of the dorm, or if you'd kept your key in your hand when you went out, things wouldn't have gotten so out of control.

But there's no such thing as a second chance or a do-over, unfortunately. This wasn't the right way to handle the situation, but it's understandable. After all, the other person is not just any student, but a member of a special group. Once this is exposed, it will attract a lot of trouble, such as discrimination and criticism. In this situation, it's probably best to keep a low profile and avoid trouble if possible.

We all make mistakes, and that's okay! The important thing is to learn from them and be more cautious in similar situations in the future. Try not to be impulsive, as this can sometimes lead to irreversible consequences. And remember, it's never too late to make things right. Don't blame yourself too much — making a mistake is not unforgivable, as long as you correct it in time.

If you can, it would be really great if you could have a good talk with that classmate and apologize. We're all classmates, and we see each other all the time, so it would be really nice if we could all get along! It's not good for anyone if things get too tense. I know you're trying your best, but try to improve your abilities and prove yourself through your studies and work, so that those who look down on you and isolate and exclude you will be impressed.

I really hope that you can keep up the great work and stay kind, sincere, courageous, and helpful in the future. I know you can face all the difficulties and setbacks in life head-on and become an outstanding, confident, sparkling, and unique person one day.

Hello, I am Bai Li Yina, and I hope my reply can provide some warmth and assistance.

The questioner revealed that he had not responded to an unexpected event as well as he would have liked during his freshman year. This led the teachers to perceive him as unreliable and his classmates to view him as untrustworthy and unfaithful. As a result, he was isolated by his classmates. Looking back, he is seeking guidance on how to handle such a situation in the future.

[Situation analysis]

I can see that you have suffered a great deal as a result of this situation. You and the monitor were right to want to call 120 as soon as possible, but your classmate disagreed with you about calling, which led to some unfortunate consequences. Let's take a look at what was right and what was risky in this matter, and what choices we can make in similar situations in the future.

[Questions for further reflection]

1. A classmate has a severe allergic reaction and would prefer not to share this information with most people. You respect his wishes. If he makes a mistake in judgment and causes serious consequences, who do you think should be the first to know? Does his family have the right to know?

2. Could accompanying a classmate back to the dormitory be considered a valid reason for skipping class? How should one respond if the teacher discovers that one has been skipping class?

It is still possible that others may become aware of this situation. Have you discussed this with your classmates in advance?

3. If you are reluctant to share this information with your classmates or instructor, could you please explain why?

In the event of an unfortunate turn of events, who would be held accountable to the instructor?

4. You observed that he was experiencing severe convulsions and vomiting, which made it difficult for him to even get out of bed to open the door. The situation seemed quite serious. You were playing games next to him, but it was unclear if he was asleep, fainted, or suffocated. What do you think you could do for him?

I would like to suggest a few methods that you might like to try.

It is only natural to encounter unexpected events during our growth process. While you may have considered some of the issues I have mentioned, there may be others you have not yet considered. It is understandable that you lack experience in this area and that you have not yet had the opportunity to gain sufficient life experience. This may have led you to anticipate a different outcome.

You are already a junior college student. I believe this incident has helped you mature. You have been punished unexpectedly and severely. You are not a failure. You just encountered something when you were young that you did lightly without thinking it through. This incident is an extraordinary life experience for you, and there is actually a lot you can gain from it.

When we face something we are not sure about, it can be helpful to consider a range of possibilities. What would I do if the outcome were unfavorable? Who is ultimately responsible for this matter? If something were to go wrong, could I take responsibility for it?

When you were locked out of the room, you could have knocked on the door and told the student if you could go to the instructor. It seems that you are not comfortable leaving him alone in the dormitory. In this situation, giving advance notice is an important step. He was made known to the whole school without any psychological expectation, and it is difficult for him to bear inside. Many students have also isolated you because they understand this feeling of being betrayed. After all, everyone hopes that their friends will keep their promises, including yourself.

After graduating from high school, you are about to enter a new environment and face a completely new circle. You have the opportunity to reshape your image and become someone everyone likes. One mistake is not terrible. We all make mistakes in life. Through this mistake, you have learned what is most important, and that means whether you will become better and better or more and more decadent in the future.

You have your own thoughts on this matter, and you have also sought assistance. I believe that you will become a better person, and that you will not be defined by this experience. The future holds great potential.

I hope these methods will be of some help to you.

It might be helpful to remember that change often requires time and patience. It's natural to feel worried or afraid, but it's important to remember that many people are experiencing or have experienced similar problems.

I'm here to support you. You're not alone. I hope you find a solution to the challenges you're facing soon and find your own most comfortable state.

I am grateful to those who have taken the time to like and comment on my posts. I wish you all peace and joy.

Hello there!

A pat on the back is in order.

I didn't handle the situation well when I was a freshman. What would you do in this situation?

This happened when I was a first-year university student.

The issue was eating with a classmate who has an allergy.

The allergic student wasn't willing to go to the hospital and didn't want anyone to know.

The result was that, due to some unexpected factors, there was an unexpected exposure, and the outcome wasn't perfect. You were isolated by your classmates, and you felt self-blame, shame, and helplessness.

Your story shows that not all freshmen can handle emergencies and special circumstances.

First of all, give yourself a pat on the back for having the courage to ask for help and ask a question. It takes a lot of courage to face up to an internal trauma. You didn't give up and chose to see your own needs.

It's been a few years since the incident, but I'm still feeling the effects of what happened. It's affecting my current relationships. What should I do? Did I really do something wrong?

I believe that, given the circumstances at the time (the classmate knew about his condition and the door was accidentally locked), the questioner did everything he could. You didn't avoid your responsibility to keep your classmates safe, but you took a more necessary and rational approach and sought help from the dormitory manager and counselor.

But the result was that my illness was unavoidably revealed. I had wanted to keep my illness a secret, but my classmates found out about my allergies. But put yourself in their shoes. If the allergic student were in the questioner's position, what would he do? Would he make a different choice?

Maybe there's still no one... In the end, his choice may be the same as the original poster's: to seek help from a counselor. Due to the issue of responsibility, the counselor will still require a phone call to the instructor, who is solely responsible and will definitely ask, "Why did you skip class and not go to the hospital?"

But who really knows the whole story?

The allergic student knows best.

If the allergic classmate had to make a decision, he would have made the same one. He would have respected his classmates' request and gone to the bathroom. What would he have done if the door suddenly locked?

Safety is more important than face.

When I asked the teacher for help, the teacher's "iron-like impartiality" was accidentally revealed, and the monitor was criticized and educated. The classmates in the class heard rumors, pursued those responsible, and the "allergic classmates" were isolated, just like me.

So, who is the innocent victim here?

On top of that, in the case of "passive exposure to illness," the allergic student is the one who gets hurt. From his perspective, he put his trust in the other person and gave them control over his body. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned, and his needs weren't met with the attention and care he expected. It's understandable that he might blame the other person for this.

If we're going to figure out who's at fault, everyone involved in the incident needs to take a good, honest look at their own role, rather than hiding behind the rules and shirking their responsibility.

But the instructor said I handled the problem very poorly.

How would you explain this?

Right now, it's best to avoid classes. Instructors and dorm counselors are in a teaching role. They should feel responsible for skipping class and being negligent. This is a normal reaction, but unfortunately, "the teacher did not extend a second empathetic role to comfort and reassure an ordinary child's inner panic and helplessness."

The incident happened suddenly. I was in a state of panic and helplessness, but I did everything I could to take precautions. If there's a more empathetic teacher, they can still do what the original poster did after the incident to comfort the student, relieve the tension after the panic, and advise on what can be done in the future to be better. The child who is comforted will be grateful to the teacher for their understanding, and they'll grow up better without hurting their self-esteem and losing their self-confidence.

But when it came to dealing with this, the teacher was just as shocked as everyone else and couldn't find the strength to comfort anyone, just like the students. They were only focused on getting things sorted, without thinking about the long-term effects. They accidentally removed the allergic student's child, which caused a lot of damage to the child's self-esteem. No one was there to support him, and he ended up feeling isolated. College is a great time, but he spent it feeling guilty. Is this really a regret?

So, in addition to facing the future head-on, the questioner's challenge also has to do with accepting oneself and reconciling with the past. It's important to understand that nobody can predict that they can handle anything perfectly. Such an absolute standard doesn't exist. Even if it did, it would only exist in fantasy.

Isolation is painful. What should I do?

If I dwell on past mistakes and feel guilty about them, as if I were branded "a bad person" wherever I go, and if my classmates think it's all my fault over time, I'll only be carrying this burden for the long term.

I feel like I've done everything I can, so why should I bear this responsibility? That's what's causing my inner conflict.

It's tough to face the consequences of your actions alone, but I can still refuse to take all the blame. There are many ways to handle things, and it's not just about silently bearing the blame. I can still clarify the situation with the person involved and express my guilt and apologies.

It's been a while since the incident, and it might feel awkward to talk directly, so I could write a sincere and honest apology letter to express my thoughts and feelings and hope to gain the other person's understanding and forgiveness.

If this student is reasonable and humane, he'll understand the questioner's guilt and anxiety. Even if the other person doesn't forgive, it's not a big deal. When things pass again, after graduation and entering society, you won't have any regrets because you can't control other people's reactions. You've done your duty to yourself and to others.

I hope these answers are helpful for you.

Wishing you the best!

Hello, question asker!

From your description, it's clear you're still affected by this incident from your freshman year. It's understandable you're feeling frustrated, but you did everything you could in the moment. For instance, you respected your classmate, valued his opinions, and protected his privacy.

Your kindness, your protection of your classmate, your sense of responsibility, your commitment, and your dedication when shouldering this responsibility—these are all your best qualities!

However, the situation is developing in a direction that is not conducive to you or your classmate, and has resulted in you being isolated and not trusted by your classmates or the instructor. You actually want to avoid similar incidents, which is why you are "upset." You may also agree with the instructor's assessment of you to some extent.

You've just started university, and you're about to embark on an incredible journey! While you may not have a lot of life experience, you're about to gain so much. You've seen your classmate's allergic reaction for the first time, and while it was scary, you're ready to face it head-on. You're on good terms with your classmate and want to get him the help he needs as soon as possible.

He said he was fine, and you also accommodated him out of respect for his privacy. You didn't feel at ease, but you were excited to see what would happen next! So when you left your phone and keys behind, you panicked, and you worried about whether your classmate was okay. You felt like you were carrying the responsibility for his life, but you were ready to jump in and help if you had to!

You sought help from the dormitory supervisor, but she needed the guidance counselor, which ultimately led to the matter being made public. Just think, you're just a freshman, you did what you could, and your classmate is safe and sound, which is fantastic news! It should be enough to set your mind at ease.

You did the best you could! You made yourself feel better and didn't let the situation get you down.

As for whether there was a better way to handle the situation, perhaps the way most people would handle it is to ignore or deny the needs of the classmate, and directly seek help from the counselor to send the person to the hospital. As for whether this incident was made public, it depends on how well those in the know kept the matter confidential.

This is a great way to make sure your classmate doesn't have to bear the responsibility. It's also a great approach for the counselor! They can seek medical treatment in a timely manner and notify the parents if anything happens. As a friend, you may trust your classmate more. If your classmate says he is fine, you can respect his decision!

The counselor is just taking the blame for failing to supervise properly, which is why she got angry when she found out and felt that you had been concealing the problem and blaming her for being careless. The truth is, you just subconsciously ignored the impact of allergies on a person. It may be best not to blindly take on the responsibility of getting sick. But here's the good news! You can avoid this happening again.

I really hope this helps! Wishing you the best!

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan, a consultant in the field of emotional intelligence.

From the description of the questioner, I can sense annoyance. We often feel helpless when faced with emergency situations.

From this incident, the questioner took the initiative to help others with their own ideas. When encountering some unexpected situations, it is inevitable to be caught in a dilemma.

This emergency situation that the questioner encountered as a freshman required calmness and resourcefulness to handle. From what you have described, there were indeed some deficiencies in the way you handled the situation at the time. However, everyone may react similarly in an emergency.

In the case of a classmate suffering a severe allergic reaction, the questioner's original intention was to help. However, there were some problems in the handling process. This kind of emergency medical situation requires a quick and reasonable response.

Now, let's explore how to better handle this situation.

Stay calm. In an emergency, it is crucial to remain calm. This allows the person to better assess the situation and make informed decisions.

Seek immediate medical help. It doesn't matter how insistent a classmate is, you must call 120 or the school clinic for professional medical assistance in the face of a severe allergic reaction. Anaphylaxis can sometimes worsen rapidly and even become life-threatening.

Life safety is always the top priority.

Find alternatives. If the student refuses to go to the hospital, you must help relieve his symptoms while ensuring his safety. Look for other alternatives, such as contacting his family or friends, or asking other students for help. See if anyone has a spare key or can help contact the instructor or school management.

It is crucial to be honest and transparent when dealing with such emergencies. Lying will only complicate the situation and lead to more misunderstandings and trouble.

It is crucial to understand that if you accompany a classmate, your primary responsibility is to prioritize their health and interests. You cannot simultaneously think about getting the best of both worlds.

Immediately communicate with your tutors and classmates to explain the situation and seek their understanding and support. This will help reduce any misunderstandings and feelings of isolation.

You have the right to notify the school medical center or the instructor if your classmates are not doing so. This is so that professionals can intervene in case of an emergency.

Reflect and learn. The questioner must reflect on this experience and learn how to better handle similar situations. This includes improving the ability to respond to emergencies, enhancing communication skills with others, and learning how to remain calm and rational under pressure.

Don't let frustration get the better of you. Take the initiative to communicate with your classmates, monitor, and instructor. Express your reflection on how you handled the situation and your determination to improve in the future.

Seek help. If you feel you cannot cope with the situation or need more support, do not hesitate to seek professional psychological counseling or help from the school. They can provide the support and guidance you need.

If you're still in school, you can seek help from your school's psychological counselor to get over this incident.

Everyone makes mistakes and experiences failures during their growth process. The important thing is to learn from these experiences and improve yourself.

The questioner has already identified his shortcomings and is taking steps to improve. This is a promising start, and I am confident that the questioner will continue to mature and become more rational in the future.

In addition, the questioner must prioritize the safety of human life when facing an emergency situation and adhere to the correct procedures and guidelines. At the same time, the questioner should also learn to communicate and coordinate more effectively with others to play a more effective role in the team.

I am confident that my answer will be of assistance to the questioner.

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach, and I am grateful for the opportunity to offer you some guidance.

From your description, I can appreciate the confusion and distress you feel. After all, this occurred when you were a freshman in college, which is a significant transition.

It seems that you are still dwelling on this matter, which may indicate that there is a kind of rumination involved. This could mean that you are replaying this freshman incident in your mind, again and again, which might be trapping you in self-blame and guilt, and thus causing you to suffer greatly inside.

You have reached out to us in the hope of finding a solution to this situation, which we understand is something you would prefer not to continue.

I would like to use your actual content as a starting point to enter into your inner world with you and work together to find a solution to alleviate this matter that has been weighing on your mind for several years. I hope that we can come to a good outcome.

First of all, this incident occurred when you were a freshman, and you felt it was a complete failure of a solution. However, from the perspective of self-analysis and self-awareness, you couldn't think of what to do at the time, so you would also like to ask for our opinion.

If I might respectfully inquire further, that night you went out to dinner with a few classmates from the next room. After dinner, you were going to go to class, but one of the students was allergic to soy products, and after eating, it would cause very serious symptoms, such as cold, red hands and feet, vomiting, shaking, etc. I believe it would be beneficial to start with the essence.

Perhaps he was aware of his allergy to beans, but for whatever reason, he did not mention it during the meal.

Normally, with such a severe allergy, one would expect him to avoid soy products. However, on this occasion, he ate them directly and had a severe reaction. Could you please explain the cause and course of events?

Perhaps he forgot about it, or maybe he didn't realize that edamame could have such a strong reaction.

Could the circumstances at the time and his behavior with you have indicated that he was allergic to soy products? If he may have already shown this condition at the dinner table, we may have overlooked it, and we may also be partly responsible for this.

Could you please tell us what happened next? It seems that he didn't want us to tell the teacher, and he also didn't want his classmates to know about it. This was probably a way of protecting you indirectly.

However, if we assume that he did not take it seriously and ate this soy product, which led to such a serious result, we can avoid excessive self-blame.

Given that it was something that happened naturally and from his point of view it was not important, we were unaware that he was allergic to it and therefore allowed him to eat it. As a result, he was harmed by one of the ingredients.

In light of these circumstances, it seems that the cause of this consequence may have been a previous event in his life. Perhaps there was no need for us to pay too much attention to this matter.

If I might suggest, let's move on.

After he became allergic to soy products, he stopped monitoring your class directly, not wanting to call the instructor or 120, and not wanting too many people to know. It's possible that his reasons for not wanting these people to know about this matter may have been due to a fear of the outside world.

Some people may feel this way. They may be concerned that if others learn about their situation, it might lead to gossip. Some people don't like being the subject of gossip, so his initial approach was to try to prevent this from happening.

If I may enquire, as the person directly looking after him, did you realize it?

If you were fully aware of it, you did not want others to know that he was already very allergic, so you also acted in his best interests, because you wanted to quietly help him back to his dorm room. This also happened to fulfill one of your needs, which was to go back to the dorm room and play games.

However, there is one thing he is reluctant to accept help with. He would prefer you to help him return to his room and take care of him there. There are two reasons why he doesn't want you to take him back to the dormitory. Firstly, he doesn't want to trouble you. Secondly, he would prefer to limit the number of people involved in this incident.

Perhaps he just wants things to pass quietly without a trace. Some people are often shy about social interactions with outsiders and may be more worried about the trouble their actions may cause others.

It might be helpful to try to endure a little discomfort yourself and to rely on your own resources as much as possible. He may be like this, but you still insisted on seeing him off.

With a kind and caring heart, you assisted him to the next bedroom, removed his jacket, and helped him to the bed. However, at this time, he was still quite serious and had not fully recovered.

So you simply helped him tidy up a bit and went to play in his room.

However, shortly thereafter, an unfortunate incident occurred that caused you considerable distress. You had left the bathroom door ajar, but due to the strong winds, it closed behind you.

However, after closing the door, you left the key in his room, and your phone was also in his room. At this time, you were actually following the principle of helping him keep secrets. You didn't want to alert too many people, so you didn't ask your classmates to help you deal with it, and you didn't want the tutor to know about it either.

However, your classmate is still locked in his room, and the symptoms of vomiting have reappeared. You can see that he is in a great deal of discomfort and that he requires assistance, yet you are unable to provide it. At this juncture, you are truly hoping that your feelings of affection will encourage you to seek the help of the dormitory management staff, so that they can assist you in opening the door and taking care of him.

However, it is important to note that actions have consequences. By informing the dormitory supervisor, the class teacher, and the instructor, it is likely that they will become aware of the situation. This could potentially lead to the discovery of information that your classmate may prefer to keep private.

In your heart, you feel a desire to help him, yet you also have reservations. On the one hand, you empathize with him, but on the other, you're hesitant to involve the homeroom teacher.

It seems there are some inconsistencies in your approach. You believe your initial stance was correct, yet the outcome has not been as you hoped. The instructor has expressed reservations about your performance, and in the future, you may find that fewer responsibilities are entrusted to you. This could potentially lead to a sense of isolation among your classmates.

If I might offer my personal opinion, it seems that you were trying to help someone in a difficult situation, but perhaps the method you used wasn't the most effective.

If I might make a suggestion, perhaps you could have bought him some anti-allergy medicine during the trip back, or gone back to the dormitory to get him some water, or given him something detoxifying like mung bean soup or milk?

Perhaps what we could do is try to solve the essence of the difficulties encountered by the other party, rather than simply accompanying them superficially.

I want to reassure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your intentions. I appreciate your kindness. I can understand that at that age, you were still young and might have been panicking when things happened. I can also appreciate that you were perhaps a bit of a playboy.

In this situation, if we don't take the principle of helping the other person relieve the pain and solve the problem as a guideline, there is a risk that things might not go well in the future.

If I might offer some advice based on your situation, I would say that…

First and foremost, when we encounter problems in the future, it would be prudent to consider potential solutions and mitigation strategies, with the aim of making the other person feel comfortable. You may wish to reflect on the situation at the university, which has been isolated for some time now.

If I may enquire, did you offer a more sincere apology to this person afterwards? And how was the subsequent interaction between the two of you?

If the other person truly forgives you, I believe it will bring you a sense of relief. Given that this incident occurred during your college years, as you transition from college to the wider world after graduation, you may find that the passage of time and your subsequent experiences will help you to move forward.

If we can learn from this experience and adapt our approach to problem-solving in similar situations in the future, I believe we can maintain smooth interpersonal relationships.

It would be helpful to understand your own perception of your coping skills.

It's important to remember that others can only see and understand a part of you. Their definitions of you are only a reference point, not the final word. Your own opinion of yourself is an invaluable piece of the puzzle.

From what I can gather, it seems that you have been holding on to this for a couple of years, which suggests that you may still be struggling to forgive yourself.

Perhaps we could consider expressing our guilt towards the other party, or expressing hope that we can improve our communication through hard work.

After all, you now feel that no matter what you say, others may not fully understand you. It might be best to just keep quiet and let it pass quietly.

Otherwise, you would not have asked a question on our platform, which suggests that you still feel aggrieved.

You have handled this matter admirably for your age. It's just that we all need time to mature and gain experience.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to encounter this in the future, when we are more mature, and allow ourselves to experience this pain.

Fortunately, this challenging period has now come to an end. We can learn from this experience. I believe you already have a clear idea of how we should proceed in the future.

Based on the above, I have attempted to shed light on some of your inner feelings, how you should interact with others in the future, what you should do to get things done, and what qualities you need to have.

There are also many details, such as the above questions, which I would be grateful if you could organize and answer. If you would like to ask me a question, you can do so by clicking on my personal homepage. I will do my best to help you sort out your current state of mind in this dilemma in a more targeted way.

I look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best.

Hello. From your account, it seems that after your classmate had a severe allergic reaction, you were thinking of respecting the opinions of the person involved. It also seems that you agreed with the monitor and the other students on this point.

In an unexpected situation, such as a locked door and keys and a mobile phone in the room, you thoughtfully considered the potential risks of leaving a person with severe allergies alone in the room and chose to find a way to open the door. This shows that you value the safety of your classmates and are able to take appropriate action.

However, you were still facing a number of challenges at the time. First, the student with allergies had requested that you not inform the tutor or anyone else, which placed you in a difficult position. If you had told, you would have been going against the student's wishes, which might have caused distress and potentially damaged your relationship. If you had not told, you would not have been able to open the door, and if the student was in danger, he would not have been able to get help in time. In addition to this, you were experiencing feelings of guilt for "skipping class" and facing "pressuring questions" from others. This series of pressures made it challenging for you to make a choice that would satisfy everyone. It's likely that no matter what you did, there would probably be some negative consequences.

In such cases, it is often necessary to make a choice. In principle, I believe that your decision to accompany the student with allergies to the dormitory was a reasonable one, given the circumstances.

However, as I have received first aid training and have personally experienced the distress of allergies, I would suggest that, if I were in your position, I would advise the allergic student to seek medical attention and reassure him that going to the doctor when you feel unwell is for safety and faster problem solving. Everyone may have such a need. Alternatively, you could take him to the school infirmary first (if the school has an infirmary) and notify the instructor.

It is important to note that even though allergic reactions may recur, the individual may feel that they have experienced it before and will be fine. However, the risk of it being life-threatening remains high, and not every reaction is exactly the same.

Given your lack of medical capabilities and the limited knowledge and resources you possess, it is understandable that you found it challenging to handle the situation. It may have been more appropriate for the tutor and the school teacher to step in at that time. It seems that the subsequent actions of the tutor and the subsequent isolation you experienced were unfair to you. It is likely that you have been feeling distressed about this for the past two years, and you may have been quite harsh on yourself.

I believe you can be assured of your goodwill in caring about the safety of your classmates and being willing to take care of their feelings. At the same time, I can see that you took quick action under high pressure. While the result was not ideal, if something happened to your roommate in the dormitory and no one was with them or they did not insist on opening the door, the consequences could have been more serious.

You might consider talking to the instructor and sharing your thoughts on how to handle this matter under the circumstances. You could also ask for his advice on how to deal with it better. The instructor is responsible for counseling and helping students, not just supervising and disciplining them. It is therefore perfectly normal to consult with him for advice.

You may also wish to request his assistance in overcoming the current difficulties of being isolated. You could also indicate your willingness to improve your shortcomings, but hope to be respected as a member of the group.