When pointing out her younger brother's mistakes, my mother always says it's my fault?

Your family favors your younger brother. He has done some bad things, like sticking his head and hands out the window or washing his feet while charging his phone.

All of the above are dangerous behaviors. If something goes wrong, it's too late to make changes. Who can afford the responsibility when there are problems and accidents?

It's important to point out your younger brother's mistakes now. This will help avoid bigger problems in the future. Some things are not your fault. However, your mother often blames you. This shows the usual positions of these family members.

Some people are favored, while others are blamed. We need to know our place. If others don't value some of our opinions, seek some other assistance. There may be some status quo in this family.

We still have to do our part. It is our responsibility to explain the situation. If we are still weak, then we have already done our part. Whether they do it next is their own business. Explain this situation to your mother. Some things are formed from childhood.

If you ignore him, problems will arise in the future. You will also have to protect yourself from bad habits. Our families have negative characteristics that restrict development.

If we don't stop and ignore wrong behavior, it can lead to serious consequences. So from now on, you need to make things clear to your mother.

Meditate and practice mindfulness to keep your emotions and thoughts stable and clear your conscience.

ZQ?

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I tend to be modest and self-effacing, and I try to maintain a consistent approach.

Your perspective differs from your mother's.

Danger is an objective reality, and prevention is inevitable. Therefore, when you stop your brother from doing something wrong, you feel that your intentions are not in question. However, your mother may not fully interpret your intentions, which can make you feel somewhat uncomfortable.

It's possible that the mother is aware of the potential safety risks posed by her younger son's actions, but may be reluctant to express her concerns in a critical tone or in a way that makes her younger son feel negatively about himself.

Everyone has their own way of expressing love and responsibility. It seems that your mother has a different approach to yours, which may be why there has been a misunderstanding.

It would be beneficial to choose the most effective way to communicate.

It's natural for children to be seen as children by their parents, and parents often have different expectations for how children should cope at different ages. When your mother felt that you were scaring your brother, she may have spoken to you in a way that was less than ideal. It's possible that she saw you as more mature than your brother.

For this reason, if we encounter a similar situation in the future, we could consider discussing it with our mother. It may be helpful to have an objective understanding of the situation and to adjust our approach accordingly. This could be an opportunity for us to communicate and improve.

Everyone has their own way of expressing love. It's clear that you care deeply about your brother and want to keep him safe. You were simply trying to remind him to be careful and hoped to align your approach with your mother's to ensure he was taken care of in the best way possible.

I hope this finds you well.

I can see you're angry when you're blamed. You also pointed out your brother's shortcomings for his own good. You can say it because you're family.

If it were someone else's child, you probably wouldn't bother. You're acting as your brother's "parent" and are concerned about his safety.

It's normal to have these thoughts. You're family. I support you in continuing to argue with your family based on reason. You're right. We need to make them realize the importance of safety.

You're not bothered by whether these reasons are right or wrong. You're wondering why your family doesn't care about something dangerous and inappropriate. You're also wondering why they blame you for it. If you analyze it from this perspective, the factors are more complicated.

First, think about how you relate to each family member. If your mother disagrees with you, what about your father? Will he agree with you?

We also need to think about how we communicate. Do they understand? Could they have misunderstood?

Should I rephrase?

Finally, think about why you're doing this and stick to the rules. If you're worried about your brother's safety, say so. You can't control how the mother raises her brother.

These are my thoughts. I hope they help!

Dear sister, I hug you and hope this helps.

Your sister is responsible, but your brother's behavior causes you trouble. You hope he will do better and guide him. You ask for help, and this is the beginning of your change.

Your parents treat you the same way you treat your brother. Your mother is against you, but you deny others. Every child loves their parents and copies what they do. You can seek help, but your mother can't. You have surpassed many people.

We can't choose our parents, but we can change ourselves. Take responsibility. You've suffered a lot. It's time to return to your inner self. We can't change much, except to be the best we can be.

I see a naughty brother, a rebellious brother. You try hard to make him better, and your mother also wants you to become better. You must know that people are always good.

Get away from your parents' control.

Don't let your parents judge you.

Get out of your parents' way.

Your parents were treated this way, so they treat you this way. You are still a child, and you feel helpless. Just be yourself and influence your mother and younger brother.

Your brother's company makes your life better. When we change our thinking, we can see the good things about him. Think about what he has done and what he is good at. You will feel better.

Everyone wants to be beautiful. Pay attention to yourself, love yourself, and discover your inner beauty. You are unique and have a lot of goodness and beauty. Seeing what you have gained and possess will make you better.

Love you.

Hello, my name is Strawberry.

From what I can see, the questioner is a sensible child who will correct his younger brother when he makes a mistake. However, it seems that the younger brother and mother are not always willing to accept the questioner's good intentions. It also appears that the mother may sometimes blame the questioner for situations that may not be entirely his fault.

From what I understand, there are only two children in your family: the questioner and his younger brother. In this case, it seems that the mother may have a preference for her younger son. Is what she gives them love?

Perhaps this is not the most effective way of teaching.

When his younger brother is not safety-conscious enough, the questioner will kindly remind him first. If my child is so sensible and proactive, I believe it would be much easier for me as a parent, because I would have a capable little helper.

It seems that every time the questioner reminds his younger brother, his mother will instead accuse the questioner of doing something wrong or accuse the questioner of doing something else wrong. It appears that she doesn't deal with the problem of her younger brother directly, but rather distracts him with other topics.

Could it perhaps be perceived as less than ideal to treat one's sibling in such a manner? From my perspective, it seems that the mother in question may be inclined to indulge her brother to a certain extent. Even the questioner seems to recognize the potential risks involved. While the mother does not actively prevent her brother from engaging in risky activities, she does express displeasure when the questioner intervenes to stop him. If this were a TV drama, it might evoke a sense of a stepmother's actions.

It would seem that the mother's approach to raising her children may not be entirely optimal. Her treatment of the children is not entirely fair, and she tends to be overly critical of the questioner while lavishing excessive attention on the younger brother. This could potentially have an adverse effect on the questioner's development. However, it's important to acknowledge that the mother's actions may not be entirely conscious or intentional. The questioner is a bright child, and when she notices her younger brother's mistakes, she is quick to correct him. Nevertheless, it's understandable that her approach might not align with the expectations of a traditional educator.

Perhaps it would be more effective to express it in a different way.

When the questioner realized his younger brother's misbehavior, he directly expressed his disapproval. While there is nothing wrong with the way the questioner expressed himself, it seems that in the eyes of his younger brother and his mother, the way he expressed himself was not well-received.

For the sake of the family, the questioner continues to care for them even though they have been wronged. It can also be seen that the questioner is genuinely concerned for the well-being of his younger brother, which is why he spoke out to stop him. The questioner's expression contains more words such as "no" and "cannot."

In psychology, there is a phenomenon known as the polar bear effect. The facilitator advised us not to think about a polar bear. Our thoughts about this animal can have a powerful effect on us, and this may be something to consider in the case of the younger brother. The more the questioner suggests we avoid thinking about it, the more the younger brother may be drawn to it.

Perhaps we could try using a different expression and tone of voice, or letting your younger brother watch similar videos on his own, so that he knows the danger of his actions. After all, your younger brother is your family member, so if he is fine, you will be able to live in peace with him.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider separating the topics.

The questioner did his best to help correct his younger brother, but he didn't receive any praise or compliments from his mother. While our parents are our parents, it's important to remember that we are first and foremost ourselves, and only then the children of our parents. When we can't take care of other people, it's crucial to prioritize our own well-being.

As a parent, the questioner's mother may be struggling to fulfill her duties. It's possible that she is feeling overwhelmed, but that does not excuse her from her responsibilities. It seems that she may not be aware of her shortcomings and could benefit from learning some valuable parenting skills.

It would have been more constructive for the mother to praise the questioner for doing the right thing, rather than placing blame. She was perhaps avoiding her own problems and felt incapable of teaching the questioner and his younger brother properly. When the questioner spoke up to correct his younger brother, the mother may have felt that she was being reminded of her dereliction of duty, which led her to take out her emotions on the questioner.

It seems that the mother is reluctant to acknowledge her mistake, which unfortunately means that the questioner's efforts to help are unlikely to have the desired effect. Perhaps it would be helpful to focus on taking care of yourself, reducing the impact of your parents on your emotions, and trying to support your younger brother in some way, so that he is not affected in the future by his parents' mistakes.

The individual who posed the question, "It's not your fault," has the opportunity to read it. Further study of psychology may assist you in addressing and resolving similar issues in a more logical manner.

I hope my answer is helpful. I wish you the best of luck!

My name is Annie.

From your description, it's clear that your younger brother's actions were dangerous. You gave him a kind reminder as an older brother, but he didn't accept it. Instead, he made your mother think it was your problem. Give the aggrieved questioner a hug.

Your mother's reaction seems disproportionate. Do you also feel that she should blame your brother, but instead blames you for trying to reason with her? If you and your brother both made a mistake today, for example, if you two were fighting or playing around, would your mother still only blame you?

Your mother will scold you and your brother.

If you both made a mistake and your mother only scolds you, it's obvious she's partial. But if she punishes both of you, will the questioner still think she's unfair?

In all three incidents you described, your younger brother was in the wrong, and yet you were the only one being blamed. I don't know the situation at the time or what happened before, but it seems clear that your mother is biased. Is there any other possibility?

"My mom blamed me for saying that I should play with my brother to attract attention instead of saying that he was wrong."

I don't know if the mother was driving at this time. It's possible that the father was driving and the mother was sitting in the passenger seat.

If mom says she is driving at this time, the driver's attention must be focused on the road conditions. They will not be able to pay attention to what is going on between you. Therefore, they will tell the questioner to play with his brother. They do not think the younger brother is wrong, but they hope that under your leadership, they can attract the younger brother's attention to avoid danger.

My brother was playing with the end of the charger cable while soaking his feet. It was plugged in, so I told him not to play with it because he might drop it in the water and get electrocuted. He didn't listen, so I threatened to tell on him if he dropped it. Then my mom turned around and said I was threatening my brother on purpose.

The questioner stated that her mother was right next to her brother when the incident occurred. It was similar to the previous time her brother stuck his hand out of the car window. Her mother did not explicitly state whether her brother was wrong or right. However, this time, the questioner scared her brother, which prompted her mother to focus on the incident and question you.

Then the questioner stated, "When my brother was eating, he poked the watermelon next to him with his hand. I told him off, but my mother instead said that I always see the faults in others."

I don't know why my mother thinks this way, but I know the questioner doesn't agree with her. Has the questioner asked his mother why she always thinks he sees his brother's shortcomings?

Or did you just bear with it?

To prevent the original poster from being troubled by similar matters in the future, I am providing the following suggestions for reference:

First, state your true thoughts and feelings directly.

It's possible that the questioner hasn't expressed your true thoughts about these matters to your mother. It's likely that your mother thinks the questioner is more sensible than your younger brother, so she has higher expectations and demands of you. However, if the questioner doesn't say what's on his mind, her mother may continue to think that she's done nothing wrong and nothing will change.

The questioner can clearly express your thoughts in a calm manner at the moment the incident occurs. For example, when saying "My mother instead blamed me for drawing attention to myself by playing with my brother instead of telling him he was wrong," you can say

"I saw my brother's head and hands sticking out of the window, and I knew it was dangerous. I told him to put his head and hands back inside, but he didn't. Instead of scolding him, my mother asked me to play with him, which made me feel a bit aggrieved."

Tell the truth. Don't get angry. When the questioner says this, her mother will realize there's a problem with her approach and adjust her attitude towards handling future incidents.

Second, give advice and let others choose for themselves.

From the three questions you have asked, it is clear that your younger brother is not listening to you and is even fighting against you.

The questioner can also use the above method of communicating with his mother to express his feelings to his younger brother. It is fine to give simple and concise advice. The questioner should allow his younger brother the freedom to choose whether or not to do what he wants, because he also needs to learn to take responsibility for his risky behavior.

If your mother is difficult to communicate with, you can seek the assistance of your father.

If the questioner still hasn't changed their mind after communicating your thoughts to your mother, you should involve your father in the discussion. When the four of you are together, the opinions of the non-parties can reduce the chance of biased opinions.

The questioner will communicate smoothly, and your wishes will be fulfilled.

You've got this! Yixinli and I are behind you all the way.

I'm here for you. I know you're angry and uncomfortable. I hope this hug makes you feel better and that my answer helps.

I'm an older sister too. You care about your brother's safety, but your mother blames you. Your brother doesn't know he's in the wrong. This makes people angry. We can't get our mother to change her mind, so let's try a different approach. This way, we can help our brother change his behavior and get recognition from our mother. Wouldn't that be better?

To achieve this, communicate well. When you understand your mother's needs, take care of your brother's needs, understand yourself, and affirm yourself, you will feel better.

My advice is:

Talk to your mother. Understand her needs and express your own. Make requests. Listen to her feelings and needs.

You and your mother want the same thing for your brother. You want him to be safe. Your mother wants him to be safe too, but maybe she wants you to guide him in a better way. We need to communicate with our mothers. Tell them how you feel and what you think. Tell them your needs and requests. Listen to their needs and feelings. You will understand each other better. Your mother will like you more. You can take better care of your brother.

The other day, my brother was playing with the charger cable plug while soaking his feet in the water. I told him not to play with it, but he didn't listen. I scared him into throwing it away. You said I was scaring my brother on purpose. I felt sad and angry. I need your understanding and care. I do what I do to stop my brother's dangerous actions because I want him to be safe. I know you want what's best for him. What can I do to help you guide him better?

Then, listen to your mother and ask her if she loves you. She scolds you because she doesn't know how to show you love and approval. Tell her what she needs to do.

You can find ways to help your brother adjust his behavior while also improving your relationship.

2. To change your brother's behavior, you need to understand him and build a good relationship. Then he will listen to you and like you more.

Your brother is curious about the view outside the window, the charging cable, and the watermelon next to it. He goes to look at them, play with them, and poke them. He doesn't feel that they're dangerous. Your reminders are important. But if we try to change him by scaring and lecturing him, it won't work. He won't always listen to you.

He'll keep repeating these behaviors until he learns how to handle them better. How can we get his attention on safety?

First, build a good relationship with him. If he doesn't like you, he won't listen. When he feels you're on his side and doing what's best for him, he'll be more open to you.

When we talk to him, we need to understand his feelings and see why he acts the way he does. For example, if he's playing with the charger plug, you can say, "You like this plug, right?" He'll probably respond.

Then you can say, "My sister likes it too. I liked playing with it when I was little." When he talks to you again, you can say, "But we have to be safe. We can only play with the plug unplugged. If we play with it plugged in, we could get an electric shock."

"

This way, you can keep your brother safe while letting him explore. Your mom will be proud of you.

If you want to look at the scenery outside, we can lock the car windows with child locks. This lets your brother look at the scenery through the glass, satisfy his curiosity, and stay safe.

When you communicate with your mother and your brother in the right way, you can help your brother feel safe and help your mother take care of your brother. This helps your family grow in a happy way.

Best wishes!

Good day. I am Fei Yun, a mindfulness coach.

It is important to acknowledge and understand the underlying resentment and anger that may be present. On the one hand, it can be attributed to the younger brother's immaturity and lack of common sense, as well as the repeated efforts to manage him that have been unsuccessful. On the other hand, it can be attributed to the unequal treatment in the way the mother raised the younger brother and you.

Provide a warm embrace. Let us examine the issue that is troubling you and the potential solution.

1. The absence of fulfillment of emotional needs inevitably gives rise to emotional responses.

Emotions are a form of energy. For example, anger. If one is unable to effectively manage their emotions, they may either lash out at others or engage in self-destructive behaviors. When disciplining one's younger brother, the mother's accusations and the suppressed anger caused the individual to experience feelings of resentment and distress.

The suppression of anger over an extended period may result in the development of a rebellious attitude. To the younger brother, it is important to recognize that your own actions are a primary factor in the current situation. Your immaturity and lack of attentiveness to others' perspectives are contributing factors. To the mother, it is essential to understand that the younger brother's needs are not being met and that the current arrangement is not sustainable.

Upon observation of one's emotions, the underlying unmet needs may be discerned. For instance, an individual may desire greater attention from their mother, a sense of being seen and affirmed by her, or equal treatment with their younger brother.

It is possible that these emotions are related to long-term neglect and that the deep-seated emotions have not been adequately addressed. When the same situation arises, these emotions will likely resurface. "Seeing" provides the opportunity to make a conscious decision. When emotions reappear, it is essential to remain aware and accept the important message they are trying to convey.

2. Modify one's interactions with the other party to facilitate a change in the relationship dynamic.

Interactions between individuals give rise to patterns of behavior. An examination of the examples provided in the text reveals the formation of distinct patterns between the two parties.

Your younger brother is inexperienced and engages in risky behavior. You are accustomed to expressing your opinions candidly, and you may occasionally accuse, criticize, or intimidate others. Your mother, on the other hand, is inclined to support your younger brother and accuse or reject you.

This creates the perception that your benevolence, solicitude, and affection for your sibling are not comprehended or acknowledged, leading to feelings of disillusionment. Consequently, this sequence of events perpetuates itself among the three of you: your sibling engages in misbehavior – you administer disciplinary action – and your mother rejects you.

One might consider modifying one's interpersonal interactions. For instance, in the event of observing one's sibling engaging in potentially hazardous behavior, an alternative to informing one's mother of the situation and requesting disciplinary action would be to offer a gentle yet assertive observation regarding the potential risks associated with the behavior in question.

One may also choose to ignore the situation. There are numerous potential courses of action.

"Whoever suffers changes." Currently, you are the one experiencing distress and anger; therefore, it is advisable to implement changes in order to alter your interaction patterns and relationship.

Furthermore, from the manner in which your mother raised you and your younger brother, she exhibited a proclivity for summarizing and critical thinking. "Using others as a mirror can help us improve ourselves." You may draw upon this in your future intimate relationships, parent-child relationships, and even interpersonal relationships.

Every individual who enters our lives plays a role in facilitating our spiritual growth and the acquisition of invaluable life lessons. When we cultivate awareness and a sense of gratitude, we can mitigate worry and foster a more positive outlook, leading to enhanced happiness and personal development.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned advice will prove beneficial to you, and that you will find it a source of love and support.

Should you wish to continue the communication process, you may click on the "Find a coach" option, which is located in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will communicate and grow with you on an individual basis.