When something happens, I think a lot about it. How can I be more optimistic?

Hello!

I give you a warm hug. You're a sensitive person, and your mood is easily affected by what others think. You want to know how to be more optimistic, but I actually think you should learn how to love yourself more.

[High sensitivity is actually a gift.]

The book Highly Sensitive People are a Gift says that being highly sensitive isn't a disease, but a personality trait, and it's the same for men and women. Psychologists Kegan and Allen have both done related research, and the results are consistent: 15%–20% of the population is highly sensitive.

This means that one in five people around us has a highly sensitive personality. Ellen also discovered something really interesting: being highly sensitive is not the same as being introverted. In fact, nearly 30% of highly sensitive people are active participants in social activities.

Someone who's in the spotlight can also be highly sensitive.

For instance, Elena, a TED speaker, once said in a speech, "I am a highly sensitive person." You wouldn't know it from her speeches, though, because she doesn't come across as shy or introverted.

Instead, she was poised and charming on the podium, often bringing a lively energy to the event. It turns out that a highly sensitive person can also live such a vibrant life.

Carl Jung once said, "There's nothing more absurd than to classify high sensitivity as a pathological feature. If that were the case, then 25% of the world's population would be pathological." High sensitivity is not a disease.

In fact, this sensitivity to everything is a unique ability.

Psychologist David Lykken once said that "genetic factors have a greater influence on personality traits than environment and upbringing in most cases." What he meant is that highly sensitive people are sensitive because that's just who they are.

The book Introversion and High Sensitivity goes into detail about the talents that highly sensitive people possess, including caution, concentration, self-exploration, good listening, independence, analytical skills, empathy, and more. It's important to note that being highly sensitive is not a defect; it's a unique ability.

Mr. He Jiong is a great example of someone who has turned their sensitivity into a talent. In the programme "Dance Storm", dancer Hu Shenyuan performed a piece called "Childhood", and Mr. He Jiong was in tears backstage.

After the show, Hu Shenyuan went backstage. He Jiong said, "In the part where you make a lot of faces, the lyrics are to tell your mother not to worry, and I can still do it." "He was trying to find an expression that his mother would like to see, but he just couldn't do it. He was controlling it, he was learning, and this one really struck a nerve."

After He Jiong finished speaking, Hu Shenyuan gave him a big handshake and said, "At last, someone gets it."

Empathy helps He Jiong connect with the dancers and their work, which is why he and Hu Shenyuan have a strong connection. Empathy often starts with true feelings and grows as a result of resonance.

Ms. He's got great attention to detail and high empathy, which are the secrets to her "high emotional intelligence." These are natural gifts of every highly sensitive person. Their powers of observation and ability to listen well help them capture the emotions of the people they're with. Their empathy allows them to feel the same way as others. So, being a highly emotional person is just a piece of cake for sensitive people.

In fact, highly sensitive people have a lot more than just one talent. When you look at life as a whole, you can see that poets, lyricists, painters, and even scientists, politicians, and others all have a highly sensitive side. A sensitive and delicate heart allows them to see beauty in different ways, and a creative mind allows them to have a colorful spiritual world. The nature of self-exploration allows them to give full play to their strengths...

This is the power of being highly sensitive—it's a talent we're born with.

If we make the most of these abilities, there's nothing we can't do. As they say, "If you can't do it, no one can."

Listen to your inner voice and realize your full potential.

Don't let your talents be undermined by prejudice.

The Yixinli platform is currently running a challenge activity, which is to find the sparkle in yourself without repetition for 30 days. This activity is really healing. I fell in love with myself on the seventh day. It is said that what is lacking in life is not beauty, but the eyes that discover beauty. High sensitivity is often accompanied by low self-esteem, which may be due to childhood experiences and rarely being praised and paid attention to by those around you. Then we can start to love ourselves now, and that is to start by discovering the sparkle in ourselves every day. You can join the challenge together.

I'm Zhang Huili, a psychological counselor. I hope my answer is helpful. If you find it useful, please give me a like.

Good morning, I am contacting you today regarding a matter that requires your attention. I believe you are the individual who has expressed interest in this topic. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best regards,

After reviewing your account, it is evident that you have some concerns regarding your susceptibility to external influences and the extent to which your thoughts are shaped by others' emotions.

It is important to note that both distractions and emotions are the result of the brain's normal functioning. While they cannot be eliminated, they can be managed in a more scientific manner. Firstly, it is beneficial to be able to perceive them, as this allows one to take the initiative to try something new.

Firstly, it is important to allow thoughts to come and go. Thoughts are a natural consequence of the brain's normal functioning and follow specific patterns of rising, maintaining and dissipating. Attempting to suppress them will only impede their natural course and result in further engagement with the thought.

The same is true of emotions.

When thoughts and emotions arise, it is possible to practice not immediately judging oneself. Instead, one can attempt to record the nature of the thought, whether it is a fact or an imagination, the emotion it evokes, and what one hopes to gain or reject from it. This process can help to distance oneself from the thought. In doing so, patterns may emerge.

This redirects our attention from external factors to our own internal state.

Secondly, we can also examine the reasons behind our susceptibility to external influence. What are the primary concerns that drive our decisions?

What are you seeking? I would posit that you are seeking self-acceptance.

Indeed, when we do not accept and like ourselves, we tend to seek external validation and become overly concerned with the opinions of others. Their actions and attitudes can significantly impact our sense of self-worth. There are various reasons why we may struggle with self-acceptance.

It may be beneficial to recall your relationship with your parents and your mode of interaction when you were a child. Given that we all originate from our families, it is not uncommon for the relationship patterns observed in our families to manifest in other relationships.

When we attempt to identify the root cause, our objective is not to assign blame to past events. Instead, by understanding the current challenges, we can more effectively identify and implement a solution that aligns with our needs.

Dear Questioner, One way to improve your outlook is to identify three positive aspects of your life each day. You can record these or share them with yourself. These could include things that bring you joy, your ability to persevere, self-care, and other acts of self-love. It's also helpful to start by recognizing your strengths and learning to appreciate yourself.

It is important to accept that this is the current situation and move forward. For any past events, it is essential to first accept them and then address them internally to gain understanding and implement necessary changes.

This is known as accepting one's fate before one can change it. If you are unaware of it, how can you expect to make changes? (From the "Banshan Collected Works")

I suggest you read Zhang Defen's series, "Meet the Unknown Self," and Li Songwei's, "5% Change."

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all the best in your search for resources to support your personal growth, even in the face of adversity.

Greetings, question asker.

From the information provided, it is evident that you are experiencing a sense of powerlessness and a desire for change.

What precipitated your awareness of this phenomenon? You may continue to eliminate it. At what point did you not experience this phenomenon?

In instances when one does not experience these sentiments, it is pertinent to inquire as to the context of the situation. Who is present, and what is the nature of the activity?

Indeed, it may be posited that the aforementioned description is representative of the experiences of the majority of individuals. A considerable proportion of people tend to place a significant degree of importance on the opinions of others, and are consequently susceptible to external influences. It may be argued that this phenomenon is largely attributable to a deficiency in personal fortitude and self-assurance. I, too, have encountered similar circumstances.

This is a common phenomenon, yet I am inclined to terminate it. I should be analogous to you, exhibiting indirect behavior and experiencing these sentiments, wouldn't you agree?

Should a miracle occur and you become optimistic, what would your life be like? Would it be different from what it is now?

What actions have you taken to facilitate a positive transformation? Who will be the first to recognize your change?

I am unaware of the particular circumstances you are facing, but you have inquired about the means of cultivating optimism. I am prepared to offer comprehensive guidance on this matter and hope that it will prove beneficial.

The initial step is to adjust one's mindset.

The world is in a state of constant flux, and it is imperative that we cultivate a sense of security within ourselves. It is essential to develop the ability to regularly adjust our mindset, empty our minds, relax and calm down, let go of everything, and be able to appreciate the beauty and comfort of life.

Two recommended readings are "The Wisdom of Wang Yangming's Mind" and "The Brain's Happiness Code." Both offer insights into how to adjust one's mindset.

Secondly, it is recommended that positive mental suggestions be employed.

Indeed, cultivating positive thoughts and discarding negative emotions can foster optimism and happiness. However, there are instances when pessimism persists despite one's best efforts. In such cases, employing positive psychological techniques can be beneficial. One such approach is to regularly reinforce positive self-statements, such as "You can do it," "You will improve," and "You are beautiful." These affirmations can be repeated in the morning and evening to promote a more positive outlook. Additionally, engaging in constructive activities, such as reading or studying, can help shift one's focus away from negative habits like watching videos.

Subsequently, it is imperative to cultivate self-trust.

It is crucial to recognize the importance of self-belief in achieving personal growth. By developing a sense of self-assurance, individuals can gain the resilience to take action, make informed decisions, and navigate external challenges. While initial efforts may face setbacks, perseverance is essential to realize long-term success.

The next step is to learn to release negative emotions.

As indicated in your brief description, you appear to be affected by external factors and experience internal confusion. You express a desire to alter the status quo but encounter difficulties in doing so, which gives rise to internal conflict. It would, therefore, be beneficial for you to address negative emotions by discussing them at an early stage, maintaining a diary, or engaging in physical exercise.

As a final recommendation, it is advised that you consider furthering your education in psychology by enrolling in additional courses, consulting with a qualified counselor, or reading more extensively on the subject.

In conclusion, it can be stated that the most effective method of change is to commence with the utilisation of positive mental suggestions in order to adjust one's state of mind. In instances where an individual is experiencing a negative mood, the practice of meditation and deep breathing can be employed in order to calm the mind and enhance one's stress response to challenges.

Good day, questioner!

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

From what you've shared, I can appreciate the sensitivity and fragility in your heart, your concern about how others view you, and your struggles with self-worth. I'm here to support you in exploring ways to address these challenges.

From what you've shared, I can appreciate the sensitivity and fragility in your heart, your care about other people's opinions, and your low sense of self-worth. I'd like to offer some suggestions on how we can move forward.

It would be beneficial to gain a more accurate understanding of oneself.

Everyone has their own characteristics and is unique. It would be beneficial to have a comprehensive and correct self-understanding that includes one's interests, personality traits, ability levels, etc., as well as a comprehensive view of one's strengths and weaknesses.

Everyone has their own characteristics and is unique. It would be beneficial to have a comprehensive and correct self-understanding that includes one's interests, hobbies, personality traits, ability levels, etc., as well as a comprehensive view of one's strengths and weaknesses.

When you have a clear understanding of yourself, you will find that you are less likely to second-guess yourself or become overly preoccupied with minor issues.

It might be helpful to consider self-evaluation from multiple perspectives.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

It may be helpful to seek feedback about yourself from friends, family, and relatives. Once you have this information, you can analyze, synthesize, and compare it. You might consider comparing your real self with your past and ideal selves, as well as comparing yourself with the various people around you.

After receiving these comments, you may gain a better understanding of the image you have in others' minds. It's possible that the self you see in your own eyes is not entirely aligned with the self others see.

For instance, you may feel that you could have done better and that your performance may not have been as strong as it could have been, but others may have a different perception of you, seeing you as considerate, meticulous, and conscientious.

It might be helpful to consider abandoning perfectionism.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the following:

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that others may have a different perception of you than you have of yourself. It's possible that your own self-assessment may not fully align with how others see you. It's natural to have self-doubts and concerns, but it's also important to recognize that everyone has their own perspective and that not everyone will have the same impression of you.

"The moon has its yin and yang, and people have their joys and sorrows." It's understandable that worrying about things can sometimes be a perfectionist tendency. We all want to do things better and more perfectly, but it's important to remember that perfection is not always attainable. Just do your best.

It is important to remember not to pay too much attention to the opinions of others.

As the Chinese saying goes, "I'm not a yuan renminbi bill, and I can't satisfy everyone." It's important to remember that as long as you are true to yourself and have a clear conscience, you don't need to care too much about what other people think.

It is also worth noting that everyone's life background and growth experience are different. This can lead to differing opinions even when we are faced with the same situation. As long as our views do not cause confusion to others, there is no need to be concerned.

It might be helpful to try to distract your attention.

If I may make a suggestion, perhaps it would be helpful to try replacing the negative suggestions with positive ones. For example, you could try writing some positive suggestions next to the negative ones, such as "I am unique" and "I am great."

If you find yourself preoccupied with random thoughts or anxieties, it might be helpful to set them aside for a moment and engage in a different activity. Some ideas could be practicing calligraphy, reading books, running, or practicing yoga, for instance.

It may be helpful to consider replacing the negative suggestions with positive ones.

It may be helpful to consider replacing negative suggestions with positive ones.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider some positive suggestions to balance out these negative ones.

Perhaps it would be helpful to summarize and summarize some of the negative suggestions that are prone to appear in your thoughts and words in your daily life. For example, you might want to consider replacing thoughts like "I'm always afraid that other people don't like me" or "I didn't say or do the right thing today" with more positive suggestions.

Perhaps it would be helpful to summarize and summarize some of the negative suggestions that are prone to appear in your thoughts and words in your daily life. For example, you might want to consider replacing thoughts like "I'm always afraid that other people don't like me" or "I didn't say or do the right thing today" with more positive suggestions.

Then, perhaps you could try writing some positive suggestions next to them, such as "I am unique" and "I am great," and crossing out all the previous negative suggestions.

I hope my answer will be of some help to the original poster. Best regards!

I hope my answer will be of some assistance to the original poster. Best regards,

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to you.

I used to be the same. I would think about this and that when I encountered the slightest thing, and my emotions were easily influenced by others. It was as if my emotional buttons were on other people, and sometimes they would be triggered just by a touch, and I had no control over them. Later, after several years of growth, I discovered that the most important thing is the harmony and stability within ourselves. When your inner world is stable, you will not be so easily influenced by other people's emotions, and you can take back control.

I advise you to:

1. You must realize the core reason for your emotions to understand yourself.

When emotions come, I know exactly why I am angry, sad, or depressed. I simply identify which of my needs have not been met.

You can find the core reason for your emotions through continuous awareness and reflection. Once you identify your core problem, you can work hard to solve it and fundamentally improve your emotions.

For example, I used to get angry a lot because other people's behavior did not meet my expectations. I expected my mother-in-law not to control me, my husband to be with me all the time, and my children to learn on their own initiative.

When they don't meet my standards, I feel bad. I later realized that my core problem is using my standards to demand others meet my standards, and when they don't, I get angry.

I have learned that when I let go of my own standards and accept each of them, without forcing them to be the way I want them to be, my emotions become much more stable.

However, the core reason why everyone gets angry is different because everyone's inner needs are different. The simple fact is that we get emotional because our inner needs have not been met.

My friend gets angry because others don't recognize and accept him. But the real issue is that he doesn't recognize and accept himself.

There is a law in psychology: when we lack something inside, we will seek it outside.

If you're always looking for others to affirm and recognize you, it's a clear sign that you don't recognize and accept yourself. Keep seeking external approval and you'll find that others are unstable and can't always affirm and recognize you. You also can't control the actions and thoughts of others, which will often result in a lack of recognition and acceptance, entering a negative cycle.

We must look inward, learn to affirm ourselves, recognize ourselves, accept our imperfections, and accept ourselves as a whole.

My friend learned to affirm and accept himself. As a result, his heart became more and more harmonious. He no longer experienced huge emotional swings due to external evaluations. He said, "When I am able to accept and recognize myself, I find that my world has really changed a lot. I am no longer so agitated by other people's negativity. I know what kind of person I am. They are only negating me because I don't meet their evaluation standards. Of course I will also be happy when others affirm me. However, I know that they are only affirming me because I meet their evaluation standards..."

Human cognition, emotions, and behavior are closely linked. They are like gears meshing together: as soon as one of them moves, the other two will definitely follow. You can improve your emotions by perceiving the core reasons that cause you to get angry and then adjusting your cognition and behavior accordingly.

2. Accept all your emotions wholeheartedly. We can't just have positive emotions; every emotion has a function.

We must accept that when we get along with our emotions, whether good or bad, we are actually getting along with ourselves. Emotions are part of ourselves, and we must learn to accept them wholeheartedly.

You don't need to deal with bad emotions. Just take them with you when you go about your business. Emotions are neither good nor bad. They're useful. They help us understand ourselves and feel the world.

It is essential to cultivate a positive view of emotions. This means not judging any emotion that arises and not determining whether it is good or bad.

You will naturally follow and cling to good emotions like happiness and joy while avoiding and resisting bad emotions like depression and irritability when you judge the good or bad of emotions.

Clinging to the good and resisting the bad both consume your energy and trigger the creation of more emotional fluctuations and conflicts. This will lead you into a mode of emotional cycle melee.

Keep a positive attitude and don't prioritize emotions as good or bad. Don't categorize emotions into two different camps. This reduces inner conflict and struggle.

This is how you can treat your emotions with detachment and reduce their influence.

You have control over your emotions.

3. Release your emotions in a reasonable way, not by repressing or exploding.

3. Use reasonable ways to release emotions, not repression or explosion.

Don't suppress your emotions. As Sigmund Freud said, "Suppressed emotions will eventually find a way to erupt in a more violent way."

Many people may cry to release their emotions. However, crying is only a temporary solution. There are more effective ways to relieve emotions, including:

If you need to get rid of pain, express your innermost feelings and thoughts in writing. Don't worry about the neatness of the handwriting or the logic of the content. Just express yourself as much as you like. You can also find the right person to talk to and pour out your inner troubles.

If you need to get rid of pain, express your innermost feelings and thoughts in writing. Don't worry about the neatness of your handwriting or the logic of your content. Just express yourself as much as you like. You can also find the right person to talk to. Express your inner worries and stress. At the same time, feel the love and support of your friends.

If you are self-negating, you need to improve your sense of self-identification, give yourself positive and positive evaluations, and practice self-affirmation. You can also improve your cognition by reading books such as "Accept Yourself: Transcend Your Inherent Weaknesses," "Accept Your Imperfections," and "Rebuilding Your Life."

If you are sad because of someone, find the person you want to connect with, have a sincere exchange, and express your needs to them. Only when we express our needs and feelings will our hearts not be so oppressed.

If you are sad because of someone, find the person you want to connect with, have a sincere exchange, and express your needs to them. Only when we express our needs and feelings will our hearts not be so oppressed.

If you need to release anger, do so through vigorous exercise: boxing, running, kicking, etc. You can also squeeze stress balls, pound pillows or sandbags, tear paper, etc. Alternatively, use the empty chair technique to release emotions: place an empty chair in the room, assuming that the person you want to talk to is sitting in the chair, and then express your thoughts and feelings (including abuse and anger, etc.) to the chair to your heart's content.

4. Treat others' comments correctly and have your own internal and stable self-evaluation system.

We are all different, and each of us has our own set of evaluation standards.

When others meet our evaluation standards, we like, recognize, and support them. When they don't, we dislike, deny, and doubt them. It's that simple. Conversely, when we meet the evaluation standards of others, they will recognize us. When we don't, they will deny us.

Therefore, you will find that whether the other person approves of you has little to do with you. It has everything to do with whether you match his evaluation criteria. However, we cannot control the thoughts and actions of others. We cannot always meet other people's evaluation criteria. And we cannot meet everyone's evaluation criteria.

You must accept that you cannot control other people's thoughts and actions.

Life is hard for everyone. Everyone has different aspirations and is in a different position. Don't practice yourself according to other people's standards or force others to conform to yours. Don't seek everyone's understanding and approval in everything.

You don't have to sacrifice yourself to gain the approval of others or to maintain relationships. It doesn't matter if you are liked or disliked because there will always be people who like you and people who dislike you. The important thing is to accept yourself as you are.

You don't live to satisfy other people's expectations. If you keep seeking the approval of others and caring about what others think, you will end up living someone else's life. If you hope too much to be recognized by others, you will live according to other people's expectations and thus lose your true self. This will in turn bring you trouble because it is not the life you really want.

You don't live to satisfy other people's expectations. If you keep seeking the approval of others and caring about what others think, you will end up living someone else's life. If you hope too much to be recognized by others, you will live according to other people's expectations and lose your true self. This will bring you trouble because it is not the life you really want.

Take back control and judge yourself. Treat yourself as if you were someone else and evaluate yourself comprehensively, objectively, and truthfully. This will help you understand yourself better and know yourself well enough to know what you want. Other people's opinions will matter less.

You will find that your relationships improve when you stop caring what others say and start living your life as your true self. Those bad relationships you got by pleasing others and suppressing your needs will no longer bother you.

You will find that your relationships will improve when you stop caring what others say and start living your true self. Those "bad relationships" you have traded for by pleasing others and suppressing your own needs will no longer haunt you.

Finally, I'd like to leave you with a quote from Ms. Zhang Lan that you saw today: "When you're just standing there, you'll hear a lot of idle gossip, but when you run, all you can hear is the wind in your ears!"

Work hard.

This is for your reference. Best wishes!