When there are a lot of people, my hands shake when I eat. I have been doing this for one to two years, but I still can't get used to it. Why is that?

Hello, question owner!

From what you've told me, it sounds like when you eat in a crowd, your hands shake, and you're not sure why. I can understand how you feel, and I'm here to help.

I'm not sure if this will happen when you're on your own or with a group of male friends. The person who asked the question didn't give a lot of details, so I'm just guessing here, but I think it might be because of:

[1] Physiological factors.

It could be that you've been working too hard, doing too much manual labor, or pushing yourself too much in fitness activities. These things can really take a toll on our bodies, especially our hands, and cause fatigue and tremors.

[2] Psychological factors.

It could be that you feel afraid or uneasy when you're around lots of people. It might feel like everyone is watching you, even though you know that's not true. Or maybe you get a rush of fear and anxiety when you're really aware of what you're doing.

[4] Pathological factors.

It's totally normal to feel this way sometimes! It might be worth checking in with your doctor if you feel like your emotions are out of control, even if you feel like everything else is fine. Your doctor can help you figure out if there's something going on with your organ function that's causing the problem.

Finally, it's so important to learn to be aware of your emotions, adjust your state of mind, and see whether it is psychological or other factors. If you are unable to regulate on your own, it is really helpful to go to a professional hospital to check the function of your organs in various aspects and identify the specific cause, which may be found out.

I really hope these opinions are helpful to you!

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can tell that you have an inner feeling of anxiety and expectation at the same time. You have a very good ability to face your problems and the courage to face them. Most importantly, when you came here, you had certain expectations, which made you not give up looking for a breakthrough.

Tell me what happened that made you feel that way. If you felt that way for one to two years, tell me what happened two years ago that made you feel that way.

Tell me what happened. Who were you with?

What have you done?

You only feel uncomfortable during mealtimes. Does it also happen at other times, or only with Chen Jiana? You can become aware of this.

I want to know when you don't feel this way. And I want to know what your state of mind is like when you don't feel this way.

What have you done?

You feel uncomfortable when you go out to dinner with male friends. You understand that if others don't pay attention to you, you will feel uncomfortable. Is that right? When you are with female friends, this feeling is not as obvious. Is that right?

You say you feel uncomfortable and don't eat much. Is it because you care too much about what others think and want to appear good in front of your male friends? Do you want to be noticed and liked?

It's normal. You're nervous and uncomfortable around the opposite sex because you want to be noticed, but you also have an inferiority complex. Do you agree?

These feelings are a result of our family upbringing and experiences. It's not your fault, and you need to recognize this.

You're already on the path to change just by coming here to become aware and start asking questions.

I don't know your specific situation, but I am certain that these words will help you find answers to your confusion.

First, adjust your mindset.

A good attitude in life is our foundation. We must face our own advantages squarely and put our focus back on ourselves. It's not simply a matter of adjusting our attitude and changing it with these four words. It takes time to slowly accumulate little changes. We must find the root cause, face the problem squarely, not focus on other people, and just focus on ourselves. Our hearts will become peaceful, and we will adjust our attitude.

Second, allow and accept yourself.

Sometimes we compare ourselves with others, and seeing the good in others and being influenced by others is normal. However, when we only see others but not ourselves, we will constantly feel that we are not good enough. For example, you described the situation where you feel uncomfortable when you are with your male friends, and you always feel that they are not paying attention to you when you are eating. This is because we are not trying to please ourselves. We always feel that others are paying attention to us, and we feel embarrassed and don't know how to do a good job. In fact, it is impossible for others to really encounter this. What we have to do is allow and accept ourselves. As long as you allow and accept yourself, you can be good at yourself, focus on yourself, not be influenced by what others say, and live a little easier.

Use positive mental suggestions.

It's normal to feel this way. I've felt this way before, too. I've been feeling this way for eight years. I've always had a positive thought inside me that I want to change and get better and better. I keep looking for a breakthrough. You've also come here to seek some positive solutions. So, how do we want to change? We can relieve this uncomfortable feeling through positive mental suggestion. For example, when having dinner with male friends, you can take a deep breath and tell yourself that it's okay. I am me. No matter what others think of me.

That's just his opinion. We can't please everyone. Do your own thing and stick to your own boundaries. Remind yourself of this every time you need to. It will help you in the long run.

Next, believe in yourself.

When we feel uncomfortable, it is a clear sign of our lack of self-confidence. We must learn to believe in ourselves, to affirm ourselves, and to see ourselves. If we don't believe in ourselves and can't see ourselves, how can we see the good side of the world? We must learn to believe in ourselves. I know that at first it may be difficult, but don't give up. Take it step by step, and one day you will look back and realize how much you have changed.

Believe in the power of belief. Believe that you can change, and you will.

Seek help from external resources.

We know there are many emotions in life, but we can't do anything about them. That's why we can seek help from external resources, namely a psychologist. They will use their professional skills to help us dig deep into the roots of our subconscious and then create an environment that is conducive to change, so that we can grow a little in this environment.

You can also read psychology books and take public interest courses.

Read the following books: The Courage to Be Disliked, Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist, Inferiority and Transcendence, and The Brain's Happiness Code.

I want to be clear: your awareness is a good start. You then have to clarify what you want.

If a miracle happens and this uncomfortable feeling disappears, what kind of state of life will you be in? I want to know what things can make a miracle happen.

You need to decide who will be the first to notice your changes.

All problems are our best resource. We must accept that they are a constant, and use them to our advantage. We should not fear them, but rather be grateful for their existence. They allow us to discover that there is still room for improvement and opportunities to grow even better.

Hi, I'm Evan.

The questioner said they shake in front of male friends and even put down their chopsticks and stop eating. I'm curious when this started.

Does this happen when you're around male friends? And with male family members or relatives? What happened before this that made you act this way?

From my perspective, the questioner's behavior seems to align with social phobia. They seem to have a fear of fixed interpersonal relationships, which could be considered a psychological aspect of social phobia. Some people have difficulty communicating with others, and this communication disorder is related to anxiety and worry.

The questioner didn't go into much detail about how they behave when interacting with men, and they only shake hands in certain specific situations. This could be related to something they're anxious about internally, or it could be fear.

I'm not sure if the questioner has any bad memories in this regard, and whether these memories were passed down from their original family or from some other event.

How to communicate with others. In fact, in many cases, responses can be trained. If you've trained yourself in communication and improved your communication skills, you'll be less afraid.

It's also possible that the questioner is subconsciously protecting themselves. And there's the issue of the self-defense mechanism of shaking hands when facing men, which is pretty ingrained.

Give the questioner a pat on the shoulder and some encouragement. Since the question was asked on the platform, we can't go into much detail about it. We can, however, offer some straightforward advice on social phobia:

It's time to face your negative emotions.

Social anxiety can make the questioner think negatively about himself when socializing. It's important for the questioner to learn to face his negative emotions head-on. He needs to think about his social phobia and realize that it's normal to have negative thoughts.

If you're trying to get along with men, you might think, "I can't respond well to what they say" or "I can't share my true self with men." The first step to overcoming these issues is to learn to recognize them when they arise. Understanding the root cause of social anxiety is the key to overcoming it.

When these thoughts come up, stop and tell yourself, "No, I can handle this. I just need to focus on communication and stick to topics I know about." "I'm not great at communicating with boys, but I'm good at other things."

"

Take a closer look at what you're afraid of.

If you can face your emotions, you can try to analyze what you're afraid of. Try to rewrite the negative emotions in your mind in a positive and realistic way.

Take a moment to think about any negative thoughts you might have. For example, ask yourself, "Is there something wrong with my communication style?"

Then ask yourself, "Should I play it cool with the guys?"

The logical answer is that if the poster can change their communication style, they'll be able to communicate well with others. Even if there's something really wrong, you're still human, just like the people looking at you.

Even people who are great at socializing have trouble communicating sometimes, so be a little more tolerant of yourself. Even when you're talking to boys, you can still show your true self, and people might even like you even more for it.

Don't overthink the negative.

Why does the questioner have shaking hands when having dinner with a guy, and have problems in other aspects? Is it because when facing communication with guys, the questioner makes too many worried imaginations, and these imaginations first put the questioner's feelings in a bad situation?

Stop making these unrealistic assumptions. It's not helpful to imagine the worst-case scenario. Often, we can't predict what will happen.

Trying to predict the worst-case scenario is a waste of time. It's inaccurate and causes unnecessary anxiety.

It's important to understand that you have the power to change this negative mindset. For example, if you're attending a wedding, it's helpful to remember that you're not the main focus of everyone's attention.

Picture yourself at a wedding, chatting with others and having a good time. Try to think more positively. If you can't stop thinking negatively, don't think at all.

You're not the center of attention.

Often, people are afraid of socializing precisely because they are afraid of being judged. But it should be clear that you are not the focus of the entire social occasion.

The host and other important people at the event will be the focus. Even if they do pay attention to you, it's not as negative as you think.

Don't try to second-guess what other people are thinking. We can't read minds. And besides, other people's thoughts aren't as negative as you think.

Use social situations to challenge negative views of yourself and also try to stop and change the judgments you make about others in your fantasies.

It's normal to feel nervous in social situations.

Studies show that more than half of people feel nervous when interacting with others. You're not alone in feeling this way, and it's a normal reaction. What's more, data shows that the number of people facing social anxiety is increasing year by year.

Once you understand this, you'll see that the average person around you is no different from you. You're not the only one who feels worried or afraid. And everyone gets nervous sometimes. So, even if people notice you're nervous, they won't criticize you or point fingers.

Practice your social skills.

With the right approach, social anxiety can be overcome. It'll take a lot of perseverance and practice, and don't expect overnight results.

The person will have to learn new behaviors, new ways of thinking, and new social skills, and this will take a lot of effort. But with time and practice, they'll gain the skills they need to overcome their fears.

Practice deep breathing.

Taking a deep breath before you get into a social situation can really help you to calm down and feel more in control. It can also help to reduce the physical symptoms of nerves, as most of them are caused by shallow breathing.

If you do breathing exercises every day, they'll become second nature to you. You'll find you do them automatically in stressful situations.

Breathe from your abdomen, not your chest. Either lie flat on the ground or sit upright in a chair.

Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. When you breathe in, you'll feel the hand on your abdomen rise and fall, while the hand on your chest stays almost still.

Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose for seven seconds. Then, exhale slowly through your mouth for eight seconds.

It's important to gently contract the abdominal muscles to get air into the lungs. Do five deep breaths, with 10 seconds between each.

If you're looking for psychological intervention,

If you feel like the above methods aren't working for you, you should look for a professional psychologist or counselor for psychological intervention. You can talk to these professionals about your negative emotions and you should feel free to be open and honest with them.

It's important to explain clearly how you feel in certain situations, how these negative emotions usually affect you, and how you respond. If you need to, you should keep in touch with these professionals until these anxiety emotions no longer affect you.

As long as the questioner can stick with it, conquer their fears more often, take it slow, and do one thing at a time, keep a positive attitude.

Be true to yourself. Stay strong when you face setbacks, don't dwell on failures, and believe that you can overcome your fears and express yourself freely in social situations.

I hope this helps.

Good day!

I am a heart exploration coach, and I believe that learning is a valuable process for the body.

From your description, I can sense the inner doubts, confusion, tension, fear, pain, and helplessness you must be experiencing.

I'm not going to get into the specifics of your issue with shaking hands when eating in public, but I would like to offer three suggestions for your consideration:

If I may make a suggestion, perhaps it would be helpful to think back to one or two years ago, when you noticed your hands trembling when eating in a crowd.

It seems unlikely that you have become this way for no reason. It's possible that something happened at the time that you can think back to, which may help you find the reason.

Perhaps you ate at the time and were criticized and blamed by an authoritative person, who was a man, for example, your father, grandfather, etc. You may have been particularly afraid at the time, as if you had committed an unforgivable mistake. This could have triggered the tension and anxiety of that time when eating in the presence of many people. Or maybe you saw someone around you being criticized by an authoritative man, such as their father or grandfather. This could have caused you to panic at the time, as if you were being told that you looked ugly when you ate. This could have made you cautious and careful. You saw their state, thought of yourself, and also became very uncomfortable. Or perhaps you saw a similar scene in a TV drama or book plot where someone was being rejected when eating in the presence of many people. This could have caused the person involved to be very anxious. It could also have made you think of yourself, so you also became nervous. And so on. In short, you can think back and see what happened to you one to two years ago. This could have made you become like this.

Finding the reason is the first step to making a change.

Secondly, it might be helpful to consider the reasons you have identified in a calm and rational way.

It may be helpful to consider that a rational perspective can assist in understanding oneself and the reality of the situation.

If I might suggest a rational approach, it would involve doing the following two things:

It might be helpful to remember that the current you is different from the previous you, and also different from other people.

Perhaps it would be helpful to reflect on the reasons behind this. It may be related to being blamed or seeing others being rejected. At this time, you can remind yourself that the self at that time, the others at that time, and the self now are different, because you have grown up and gained knowledge and experience. It is very likely that you know about table manners.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that the status quo can be altered, as you have the capacity to change.

When you take the initiative to exert yourself, you may find that your perception of yourself and your inner state change. It's also worth noting that you are now aware that no one is paying attention to the way you eat, which can be an opportunity to see your own abilities and the power of time.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to focus on yourself and consider what you can do to feel better.

For instance, when you feel uneasy or your hands are trembling, you might find it helpful to remind yourself that your current self is different from your previous self, and that the person being criticized is also different. This kind of positive self-talk could potentially make you feel better.

You might also consider allowing your hands to shake when they do, without interfering too much or forcing yourself. When you stop fighting against it, it may actually get better, because that's how the human brain works: the more you try to stop it from doing something, the worse it gets. This may also make you feel better.

You might also consider trying the systematic desensitization method when your hands shake. It may be helpful to take it one step at a time, gradually forcing yourself to eat even when you feel uncomfortable. With time and practice, you may find that you become more tolerant of your discomfort, and the feelings of anxiety and tension may also subside.

You might also consider talking about your feelings of hand shaking with a trusted family member or friend. Once you feel comfortable sharing your concerns, you may find that your negative feelings begin to ease, as expressing them can help to release them and allow you to feel more at ease. They may also be able to offer you support and advice, which could help you to feel better. It is important to remember that there are things you can do to improve the situation.

As you begin to take action, you may find that negative emotions in your heart are gradually resolved. It is often the case that taking action can help to overcome negative emotions.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. If you would like to communicate further, you are welcome to click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom, and I would be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.