When there are many people, I can't speak and I'm afraid to communicate with others. What should I do?

Hello, landlord! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

Don't worry, don't be afraid! I used to be just like you, but after a period of adjustment and practice, I'm much better. This really doesn't mean that we can become fearless or good at conversation all of a sudden, but it requires some adjustment of our thinking patterns, as well as repeated practice and growth in life. And you can do it too!

I can, and I'm sure you can too!

We can do this! Let's adjust ourselves in the following ways:

1. It's time to recognize the effects of the "spotlight effect" on yourself!

The term "spotlight effect" is a fascinating psychological concept that describes our tendency to unintentionally magnify our own problems. Let's say you head to a party feeling confident and looking your best, dressed neatly and feeling refreshed. However, a slight breeze has messed up your hair, creating an unexpected but intriguing challenge.

Just as you are about to push the door open, a mirror at the entrance horrifies you. You feel that your clothes are disheveled and your hair is a mess. Suddenly, it seems that all eyes are on you and all the whispers are about your "unlucky appearance."

You are nervous, even though this is not the case! This is the spotlight effect in psychology.

The spotlight shines more brightly on us in our consciousness than in reality. This is great news for us because it means that we tend to overestimate the significance of our actions, appearance, and emotions in the eyes of others.

It's the "spotlight effect" that makes you feel nervous when talking to other people. You think other people are paying special attention to your every move, and when talking to other people, you feel like a star in the spotlight! It's no wonder you feel nervous.

The truth is, we are really not that important, and other people will not pay that much attention to us. So, just relax, let go, and be true to yourself!

Embrace your true self and feel the freedom! Know that those who like you will love you for who you are, no matter what. Even if people don't like you, you can still be your awesome self and know that you're supported no matter what. You can't win everyone's approval, but you can be the amazing person you want to be. Get closer to your true self and feel the love!

2. Treat other people's comments correctly and engage in selective socializing. It's a great way to meet new people and make new friends!

So, how should we correctly respond to other people's comments?

We are all different, and each of us has our own set of evaluation criteria inside, which makes us all unique!

It's so great when others meet our evaluation standards! We like, approve of, and support them. And it's also really nice when they do things that don't meet our standards. We can still like them, approve of them, and support them even when they don't meet our standards.

On the contrary, when we meet the other person's evaluation standards, it's a sure sign that the other person will approve of us! And when we don't meet the other person's evaluation standards, it's an opportunity to grow and improve.

This is great news! It means that whether the other person recognizes you or not has little to do with you. It's all about whether you match their evaluation standards. And while we can't control the thoughts and actions of others, we can take comfort in the fact that we can't always meet other people's evaluation standards, nor can we meet everyone's standards.

Life is hard for everyone, everyone has different wants, and everyone is in a different position. But there's no need to practice yourself according to other people's standards, nor is there a need to force others to conform to your own standards. And there's certainly no need to seek others' understanding and approval in everything!

So, there's absolutely no need to sacrifice yourself to gain the approval of others, or to maintain interpersonal relationships. It's totally fine if you're liked or disliked, because there will always be people who like you and people who dislike you. The important thing is whether you can accept this self that is liked and disliked at the same time.

We don't live to satisfy other people's expectations. If we keep seeking other people's approval and caring about what they think, we will end up living other people's lives. If we hope too much to be recognized by others, we will live our lives according to other people's expectations, and thus lose our true selves. This will in turn bring you trouble, because it is not the life you really want. But it's time to take back control! You can treat yourself as someone else and evaluate yourself comprehensively, objectively, and truthfully. In this way, you will understand yourself better, know yourself well enough, and you will also know what you want. At this time, other people's evaluation has become less important.

It's time to take back control and evaluate yourself the way you deserve! You can treat yourself as someone else and evaluate yourself comprehensively, objectively, and truthfully. This is the best way to understand yourself better and know yourself well enough to know what you want. At this time, other people's opinions don't matter as much.

When you care less about what others think and live your true self, you will find that your relationships have improved! You'll be amazed at how your "bad relationships" that you have traded for by pleasing others and suppressing your own needs will no longer haunt you.

● Engage in selective socializing and watch your life transform!

It's true! Everyone has social needs. Socializing can give us a sense of belonging and a certain sense of security. But, it's important to be selective about who we socialize with. Avoid people who constantly criticize and undermine you. Instead, seek out people who always give you encouragement and support. This way, you can experience care and support in your social interactions!

If socializing is making you feel stressed, don't worry! You can easily adjust the frequency of socializing until it suits you. And remember, you don't have to force yourself to socialize. Learn to take care of your own feelings and enjoy the freedom to choose how often you socialize!

3. How can we be true to ourselves and take care of our own needs?

Do you know why you are always nervous when communicating with others? It's because you are always considering the feelings of others, always thinking about how to meet their needs, while ignoring your own needs and even suppressing them. But there's a way to change all that!

When we cannot express our needs and when our true selves cannot be presented, our hearts will naturally be blocked. But there's no need to worry! We can easily learn to express our feelings and needs and be true to ourselves.

You can do it! The more you are true to yourself, the more harmony and ease you will feel within. I know it's tough, but you can do this! As long as you are determined to start adjusting yourself and trying to express yourself, you will get closer and closer to the person you want to be.

When you dare to express your true self, you will be amazed at how your own energy will become stronger and stronger!

4. It's time to express and release those emotions!

It's so important to let our emotions out! If we don't, they can build up and make us feel out of control. But there are lots of ways we can let our emotions out and stay in control.

1. Make sure you're hanging out with the right friends! They're the ones you can pour out your worries and confusions to. And when I say "right," I really mean it. Look for friends who can give you support and encouragement, and who you feel comfortable with.

All you need is one or two of these amazing friends! We can find the perfect person to talk to, spend time with people who make us feel comfortable, chat, eat, have dinner together, talk about our worries, feel their support and love, and find a sense of belonging in social interactions...

2. Go for a workout! Do those sports you love. You can relax and unwind while also getting your body in shape. Feel the strength of your body and the joy in your heart through exercise, and help yourself regain a good state of mind and body.

3. Get ready to let your creativity soar! Use writing therapy to express all your feelings and thoughts on paper. Don't worry about whether your handwriting is neat and tidy, or about the logic of the content, just go ahead and express yourself as much as you like!

4. Let it out! Punch a pillow or a sandbag to release your anger by hitting a soft object.

5. Use the amazing empty chair technique to release those emotions! If you can't find the right person to talk to, you can use the empty chair technique. Imagine the person you want to talk to (someone who can give you support, encouragement, and comfort) sitting in the chair, and then pour out your feelings to them. You can also learn from their attitude to give yourself support, comfort, and encouragement. You can also imagine the person you want to abuse sitting in the chair, and then express yourself to the chair (anger and abuse are fine).

6. Take a walk in nature and feel your connection with it! Feel how ordinary and yet extraordinary you are, how small you are, yet how unique. When we are in nature, we spontaneously feel relaxed and experience things differently. It's amazing!

7. Draw mandalas! Mandala drawing is an amazing way to calm your mood. For example, "The Secret Garden" is an excellent choice.

8. Meditate regularly! Meditation is a fantastic way to calm our mood. By connecting with our deeper selves, we will come to know ourselves better. With long-term practice, we will reap the amazing rewards of inner peace and joy!

5. Build self-confidence and a sense of security!

Once you feel confident inside, you'll be ready to take on the world! Building up your inner self-confidence and security is key.

The more you work hard and build your strength, the more confident you will become! When you achieve something you've set your mind to, your confidence will skyrocket. And as you gain confidence, your heart will become stronger and steadfast.

You can set yourself appropriate goals and then work towards achieving them one by one. It's amazing how, by achieving your goals over and over again, your abilities will gradually improve, your knowledge will accumulate, and your experience will become richer and richer. You will feel more and more secure, have a greater sense of control over your life, and naturally become more and more confident.

The so-called appropriate goals are the ones that are just right for you! They're the kind you can reach by standing on your tiptoes. If the goal is too small, you'll feel unchallenged and bored. You might even forget about it! If it is too big, you'll feel too much resistance and not have the confidence to achieve it. Medium-intensity goals are the ones that can best motivate us! When we work hard to achieve these goals, we'll feel a sense of achievement and self-confidence.

For example, if your current walking level is 4,000 steps per day, then set your daily goal at 4,500-5,000 steps! You can go as high as 10,000 if you want to!

When you set goals that are right for you, the most important thing is to keep going! Only action can help you overcome difficulties and truly experience your own value.

And don't forget to encourage yourself and give yourself positive mental suggestions! Believe that you can, and you really can! Come on!

Best regards!