Whenever things don't go your way, do you always feel like you're going to repeat a previous bad situation?

Hello!

A pat on the shoulder.

Do you feel like you're repeating the same bad situation?

The question is short but shows the questioner can see his emotions clearly. But it's hard to see how the problem will develop, so it's easy to repeat the same emotions.

How do you understand this?

If we don't deal with a problem, our emotions about it stay with us. If we don't deal with these emotions, we may be afraid of the problem when it comes up again. The fear is that the same thing will happen.

What does "the same situation" mean?

This issue requires specific content to be discussed. Because we didn't respond well and didn't protect ourselves, it may have caused harm and negative impacts on our emotions and dignity. Then, in the same environment, we will experience foreboding and anxiety.

We don't know for sure if it will happen, but there's a good chance it will. This is human emotional sensing, which is sometimes called intuition or a sixth sense. But where does intuition come from? It usually comes from our cognitive experience. When I feel danger or threat, my subconscious state will automatically avoid it and escape the urge. However, on a conscious level, we sometimes obey the orders of our rational brain and force ourselves to work hard to complete it, which can cause us a lot of psychological pressure. The result is that we become even more nervous, scared, and panicked.

For example, similar social situations, work goals, and completing special challenging tasks. Sometimes it is not a lack of courage to do and practice, but the fear of being limited by our thinking functions, unable to clearly perceive the external environment, and our self-judgment is negatively affected. The harder we try, the more likely we are to repeat the same mistakes. Binge eating is also a problem when experiencing emotional exhaustion.

The solution is to improve self-control. This takes time, but we can start by trying to improve our sense of self.

The first thing you need to do is accept your feelings. For example, I'm afraid I'll make a fool of myself. It's okay to have these thoughts, but you should also try to understand them better. Ask yourself: how likely is it that this will happen? If you're feeling negative emotions, it's a good idea to try cognitive behavioral therapy. This helps you change your thinking so you can deal with the problem in a more positive way. You might find that your feelings and emotions change depending on the situation. This shows that you can't control everything, so start by accepting this.

If you need help, you can ask your family, friends, or professionals. This will help you get through your current situation. After you overcome it, you will have a new experience.

I hope these answers help you.

Best wishes!

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope that my response will prove to be of some assistance to you.

Indeed, this phenomenon is quite prevalent, and your ability to perceive it is indicative of growth. We frequently oscillate between past patterns without conscious awareness or understanding of the underlying motivations. This phenomenon is what we often refer to as a pattern. To disrupt existing patterns and establish new ones, it is essential to be aware of these patterns.

An objective perspective on oneself can be achieved by considering the impact of past experiences on the self from an observer's standpoint. This process of self-reflection allows for a more objective view of one's own emotions and beliefs. Additionally, it is essential to identify and release previously repressed emotions, recognize the influence of irrational beliefs on the subconscious, and facilitate change in patterns by modifying perceptions.

Furthermore, it is evident that an increase in fear correlates with a reinforcement of the discomforting and embarrassing aspects of a situation. Our attention is naturally drawn to these negative elements, while the positive aspects may be overlooked. When we adopt a more comprehensive perspective, we can avoid becoming fixated on the negative aspects alone.

Perhaps an illustrative example from my own experience will prove beneficial in enhancing your comprehension.

When in the presence of a male leader, particularly one who is aloof and serious, I experience an inexplicable nervousness. This is accompanied by a fear of making a fool of myself and performing poorly. Consequently, when I am in such a situation, I tend to perform poorly, which serves to confirm my tendency to perform poorly in the presence of male leaders. This creates a vicious cycle. As you have observed, it seems as though these situations are meticulously orchestrated by others, who are waiting for me to fall into a trap.

Recently, I have frequently experienced a sense of unease when our association president is present. For instance, two days ago, we attended a significant event together, during which I was tasked with receiving a flag during a ceremony. However, I was initially uncertain about the appropriate manner in which to stand when receiving the flag and subsequently struggled to coordinate my actions with the timing of the flag's waving. As a result, this particular aspect of the event did not unfold as smoothly as it could have, leading me to experience feelings of self-reproach. I was concerned that I had once again made a fool of myself in front of him. However, the other leaders and colleagues involved in the event did not offer any criticism or express disapproval. They were understanding, given that I had performed well in other areas of the event. In fact, the president did not express any dissatisfaction or harsh criticism. Nevertheless, I still experienced a sense of "shame" and found it somewhat challenging and embarrassing.

I began to trace my feelings back to their source. When was the last time I felt this way? I realized that the president was also a factor. This was my first lecture in the community. I was nervous when I saw him there, and I always felt that I would do a bad job. As a result, after the lecture, he sent me a long message. The first sentence praised my lively and interesting class, and the next six were suggestions for me to make changes. I felt very uncomfortable and embarrassed. I also continued to trace back and thought of when I was in elementary school. There was a strict math teacher who, after I went to the podium and wrote down a wrong problem, very seriously criticized and negated me in front of the whole class. At that time, as a young child, I felt aggrieved, uncomfortable, and embarrassed, but I didn't express any of my emotions. I suppressed them all. However, this emotion has never really disappeared. When I encounter a leader who feels similar to him, it will make me feel this way again. At the same time, there will also be some irrational beliefs that accompany it, such as: "He looks down on me," "I will make a fool of myself in front of him," "in front of him, I am worthless, and he does not recognize me." As you can imagine, when we have these beliefs and thoughts, we will also become passive in our

In fact, the incident was not as it initially appeared. When viewed in its entirety, it is akin to the president's advice regarding my performance. From his perspective as a leader, he sought to impart his teaching experience to a novice. His words did not contain any disparagement or accusation. Ultimately, he merely suggested that I consider his recommendations and did not mandate their absolute adherence. I subsequently mustered the courage to review his suggestions individually and implement them in my subsequent class. I provided feedback on the effectiveness of the class, and he also expressed high praise. He later lauded me on other occasions, but I consistently disregarded these commendations. When viewed from a broader perspective, it becomes evident that neither the president nor my previous mathematics instructor was targeting me. My mathematics instructor may not recall the incident, but I have a long-standing memory of it and developed a stress response. When I interact with individuals who evoke similar feelings, I anticipate criticism and rejection, which engenders a sense of shame.

Upon addressing my unfinished business, I was able to release the repressed emotions, console the young girl who had been hurt, recognize her grievances, acknowledge her feelings of helplessness, sadness, and anger, and adjust my perception of each specific incident. I no longer dwell on a single mistake or the aspects of myself that I have not performed adequately. Instead, I adopt an objective perspective and accept my imperfections while also recognizing my strengths. I do not entirely dismiss myself due to a minor failure, as I did previously. Following numerous practices and adjustments, I anticipate a more tranquil state of mind in front of the president. Even if I make some mistakes, I will evaluate myself more objectively and anticipate greater support and recognition from him, which will help me break this cycle.

The aforementioned information is provided for your reference. Sincerely,