Why can't I bear others being better than me, and how can I develop a normal psychology?

Hello! Thanks for asking!

Jealousy is something everyone experiences. When I was young, I heard a saying that has stuck with me!

Sometimes we let strangers rise to the top, but not those close to us.

As long as others are doing better than us, we feel uncomfortable. This is normal.

Jealousy is an emotion. There is nothing wrong with it. What matters is how we understand it and what we do because of it.

Secondly, we can look at it together. Behind our sadness and unhappiness, there is our value of friendship and our desire to be strong.

If you feel unhappy when you feel envy, stop and think about why. Then you can see your inner needs.

If we want to be happy, we need to think about what we can do to achieve our goals.

If we let envy take over, we may feel pain and unhappiness.

And also, injustice, anger, and hatred! Jealousy is an emotion that protects and alerts us.

This emotion is part of us. We need to be aware of it.

Will this help us think differently?

If he is better than me, I will learn from him. If she is luckier than me,

What did he do to make him so lucky?

Everyone is different. There is no one else in the world like you. We should discover our own strengths and characteristics. Don't focus on others' strengths.

You must have something better than him.

Hello, I'm a white cloud ☁

? Hug you!

First of all, don't be afraid. I want to tell you that you are normal. Normal people are jealous. We all have jealousy. And you should be happy that you dare to speak your jealousy!

Because in our lives, there are many people who never dare admit that they are jealous, even though this jealousy has caused them a lot of trouble. But they're working on it! They're learning to embrace their feelings and be true to themselves.

You are really brave and kind, baby. You are so strong! If you weren't kind, you wouldn't have felt so bad about your jealousy. You were just afraid that your jealousy would hurt your friend, and you were right to be afraid.

? And now, I want to tell you something really exciting! Envy is something that is born in each of us and is a unique attribute of being a complete person. It will accompany us from birth to death. Envy cannot be changed or eliminated.

? Jealousy is born from comparison. Ask yourself, why am I jealous of my friend for getting a better job and better grades than me? Is it because I am comparing my job and grades with hers? And what exactly is the comparison? Why do we compare? Why can't we help but compare?

In fact, it's totally normal to compare ourselves with others in life. The desire to compare ourselves with others is a double-edged sword. It can make us strive to become better, but it can also lead us to ruin. But in the final analysis, comparing ourselves with others is something that we all have, and it is a unique attribute of being a complete person.

⛵⛵In the final analysis, we have never accepted our envy and jealousy. But think about it, if from now on, our world is free of comparison, what will happen? Beauty will no longer stand out because it is dirty, nobility will no longer exist because it is filthy, and virtue will cease to exist, won't it? Will our world suddenly become grey and devoid of color?

So the most important thing is for us to slowly accept our jealousy and competitiveness. This will be a slow and difficult process, but it will be worth it! From childhood to adulthood, no one has ever taught us how to do it, and our cultural education also seems to have never told us how to accept it. But we can do it!

So from now on, just accept it as a part of our lives, acknowledge its existence, and understand it!

Sometimes you can say to yourself, "I'm just jealous because she's better than me." And that's okay! It makes you more endearing because you've become more authentic, and that's something we all have.

Absolutely! You can totally talk to your best friend, find the perfect time, and sit down with her to talk face-to-face about what's on your mind. I'm sure she'll understand you!

Best wishes! The world and I love you!

Hello.

It's hard to admit we're jealous. It takes courage to face our problems head-on.

What do you think of yourself when you write this? Are you afraid, worried, or do you not approve of yourself?

1.

Let's take a moment to feel what I'm feeling as I write these words. What emotions are there?

Maybe you're afraid of being looked down on and compared to others. Maybe you feel your friends will laugh at you. Maybe you're tired of it all.

Don't judge your emotions and thoughts.

Don't think about whether these thoughts are good or bad. Don't worry about what kind of person I am or what people will think of me.

We can have any emotion, including good or bad ones. We can admire friends and be jealous of them.

All our feelings are valid.

When you feel this way, you might think a lot of negative things about yourself. It's okay to think these thoughts, but try not to dwell on them.

"I see you. That's how I see myself. It's okay, I'll let it go."

Stay with these feelings for a while. They may be unpleasant.

When we are emotional, we can take a few deep breaths, relax, and accept how we feel.

The first step is to see and accept your emotions.

2.

You say you dislike her and get annoyed by everything she shares.

If I had a friend by my side, I would hate her and want to stay away.

Even if my friend is nice, we were close, and my friend doesn't look down on me...

Knowing this doesn't make the hurt and fear go away.

I think this annoyance is our way of protecting ourselves from being hurt or feeling frustrated.

Until we find a better way to protect ourselves, we use boredom as a defense.

3.

You say you don't think everyone thinks this way about friends. You feel this is too dark and you don't deserve friends.

You must really cherish your friend. If you didn't, you wouldn't worry about her, judge her, or blame yourself.

You like your friend but feel inadequate when you see how good she is. This makes you resent her and want to distance yourself.

You want to get close, but you want to distance yourself. You like her, but you're sick of her. You're torn between these feelings.

4.

What can we do?

It's hard, isn't it? What methods have you tried? Which worked and which didn't?

You are the expert of your own life. I want to send this to you when you are troubled.

The things you've tried that worked and those that didn't are all part of your wisdom. You will understand your feelings and needs better and see more clearly where you want to go to solve the problem. No one can replace you in this, and your strength is important.

Here are a few thoughts on your concerns:

(1) See your emotions, fear, tension, anxiety... all kinds of emotions. It's okay to feel whatever we feel. See it and then accept it.

There are many online relaxation and meditation exercises that can help us control our emotions.

(2) Seeing your self-assessment also hides your views and evaluations of yourself. Are these familiar? Have you felt this in other relationships or past experiences?

Where do they come from?

This may make you feel new things.

(3) Boredom is also a way to protect ourselves. We can learn new ways to protect ourselves if we can. If we can't, try to get along with these ways of protection and see what else you can do.

Give the questioner a bit of a boost from afar.

Here's a quick description of the questioner:

There's a bit of jealousy there.

Before my friend got a job, I really valued our friendship and I was very comfortable with her.

After my friend landed a job and got good grades, I started to feel a bit tired of her and a little annoyed.

I got tired of everything she shared with me.

The questioner's doubts

What should I do? Am I not suited to having friends?

Words to the questioner

The questioner is struggling to find a balance between what was and what is now, and is feeling envious of others' progress.

The questioner also realizes that this way of thinking is unfair to friends and makes them think they aren't worthy of making friends. The questioner's awareness of this is good and worthy of praise.

I also want to tell the original poster that we can all improve, and we can't base our future lives on what we've done in the past.

Every change in our lives is an opportunity for a fresh start. It's important to keep adapting and pushing forward, rather than getting stuck in a rut.

As the saying goes, heroes don't brag about their past achievements. It means that you have to keep pushing yourself to reach new heights and break through your own limits.

We don't have to compete with others. We just have to push ourselves to achieve more.