Why can't I understand what my ex-boyfriend did? It deeply hurt me, how should I let it go?

Hello, Thank you for your question.

I can feel your anger.

1. You don't understand your ex-boyfriend.

Your ex-boyfriend's actions are hurtful and confusing. How can you let go of them?

If we sort it out, we'll see that your ex-boyfriend's actions hurt you.

We learn in psychology that it is difficult to understand others when we don't understand ourselves.

As the saying goes, "There is no one else out there but yourself." Others reflect our inner world.

Your ex-boyfriend helped you see your inner state and grow.

2. About giving a lot.

If you've given a lot, it's harder to let go of the relationship. This is because of the psychological effect of the "cost of silence."

We can accept reality and stop the damage in time. Silence costs us resources.

3. Hate the ex-boyfriend.

After the incident, I stopped contacting him. I've been with him for almost two years and never hurt him. I've given him a lot, but he's done a lot of little things to hurt me. After this incident, I've grown to hate him more and more. I curse him, wishing that he would die. Why is he so heartless? It's been almost a month. How do I let go?

Your ex-boyfriend hurt you. You hate him.

Psychology says love is hate. They're two sides of the same coin. You still hate your ex because you haven't let him go.

Moreover, when we are too good to someone, the other person gets used to it and stops showing gratitude. When they hurt us, it disappoints us.

We never forgive the other person for hurting us.

We need to forgive the part of us that gave so much for love but was hurt by the object of our love.

When we forgive someone from the past, we also forgive ourselves.

I hope this helps. I love you.

Hello, question asker. From your description, it's clear you're struggling with depression, resentment, reluctance, and a sense of being trapped.

You've been with your boyfriend for almost two years, and the two of you have often fought. One day, you told him you were tired of fighting and wanted to break up, and he agreed.

But then, in the days that followed, you still played games with him, you still fought every day, and he still yelled at you.

After breaking off contact for half a month, you asked him to play games with you again. He accepted, but because of a minor mistake, he gave you a hard time in public and told you to either play well or leave.

From then on, you felt resentment. You never contacted him again.

You think your efforts will be rewarded with respect, affection, and love. You're wrong. You're still met with indifference and abuse.

You feel aggrieved and resentful. You deserve rewards for your efforts.

Listen up, girl. I know what I'm about to say might make you feel uncomfortable, but I'm telling you this because I think you deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and treats you right. You deserve a better life.

Don't be a victim in a relationship.

You broke up because of an argument, but in the days that followed, you repeatedly sought each other out to play games, clearly intent on getting close to each other and repairing the relationship.

After the other person has acted aggressively towards you, you feel aggrieved and unwilling to accept that you have done anything wrong. You feel like a victim, but you are not.

It is likely that this is about satisfying your own needs.

☑️ Look within and identify your own inner Madonna complex.

In a relationship, one person always puts themselves in a "lowly" and "low" position, continuously giving without complaint or regret, willingly becoming a "victim." This is the Madonna complex.

In your relationship, you have put yourself in a very low position. You know you have never done anything to hurt him, and you have given him a lot both mentally and financially.

You are also very understanding. You have tolerated his behavior and accommodated him, even though it has hurt you.

But the other person remains the same.

You begin to feel that he is becoming more and more disgusting to you. His conscience has been eaten by a dog. You curse him in your heart for being a white-eyed wolf. You often mentally curse him and wish he would die. Why is he so heartless?

This seems to be saying that you have done everything you can, but you are still not satisfied with my demands. You are the bad guy, and you need to take responsibility for your actions.

↗️ Be aware of your own masochistic needs.

From your description, it's clear that he's not good for you. You always argue, and he yells at you.

You are addicted to him. You still look for him to play games. You don't want to take the initiative to leave this relationship. You even give the other person the initiative to break up with you.

You deliberately construct a painful relationship.

The pain in the relationship is likely a result of your masochistic psychological needs.

This is about your early experiences and how you were neglected as a child. It seems that only when you become miserable can you win your parents' attention.

You only get the attention of others and keep the relationship going by putting yourself in pain. It's better than having no relationship at all, even if it's painful.

Try to love yourself.

My child, love yourself and be content in your own skin. There is no shame in this, and there is nothing wrong with it.

You are loved for who you are, not for being "perfect," "giving," or "humble."

Don't sacrifice yourself. Satisfy yourself, express yourself, and be your true self.

You have to face your own needs before you can win a relationship.

First, satisfy your own needs. Second, express your needs in the relationship.

When we realize that our needs must be met, we will find that we cannot tolerate relationships that cannot meet our needs. This helps us end a painful relationship.

You deserve a better person and a better relationship. Believe it.

Best wishes!

Good day. I am Wei Zhi Peng from Yixinli. The school of systemic psychotherapy, along with psychoanalysis, cognitive behavioral therapy, and humanistic therapy, is regarded as one of the four principal schools of modern psychotherapy. This school primarily engages in brief counseling, typically comprising less than 10 sessions.

It has become evident that he is a person devoid of conscience and ungrateful.

However, it is not sufficient to simply "let go" of two years of accumulated emotions. Your statements indicate a desire to hold the other person accountable for your emotional distress. This suggests a hidden assumption that you have invested a significant amount of time and emotional energy into the relationship and that your partner should have been more aware of your feelings and more responsive to your needs. Furthermore, your statements imply a sense of injustice and a lack of understanding regarding the circumstances that led to the dissolution of the relationship. The question of why the relationship ended due to a minor disagreement, without any indication of significant issues or a lack of communication, seems to be a source of frustration and a driving force behind your desire to change the other person.

It is unclear whether my assertion is correct, but if one wishes to "change" the other person, I do not possess any unique methods. The other person may indeed be as described. In order to coexist with such an individual, it may be necessary to accept their actions as a form of compensation.

You have consented to the dissolution of the relationship proposed by your partner, and you may no longer be willing to endure the pain and suffering associated with maintaining the relationship.

Conversely, should you wish to remain in the relationship but be unwilling to accept the past, we can discuss strategies for improving your emotional state when you are in proximity to him.

What is your opinion on this matter?

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing in response to your query. Kind regards,

I empathize with your situation. Allow me to summarize your account:

Despite having been together for almost two years, you have been unable to resolve your differences. While conflict is a natural part of any relationship, it seems that neither of you has been able to establish the necessary communication channels to maintain a healthy dynamic. Unfortunately, this has led to the dissolution of the relationship.

Despite the termination of the relationship, you continue to engage in daily gaming and arguments. One day, you made an error in the game, resulting in his revocation of your administrator status.

The long-accumulated emotions finally reached a boiling point. You believe you have given him significant contributions, both mentally and financially, but when you removed your role as his manager, he became ungrateful. You feel disgusted with him and often curse him in your heart. You can no longer convince yourself mentally.

This is precisely the situation you find yourself in.

The issues you are facing are related to interpersonal dynamics and emotional management.

Let's begin by discussing interpersonal relationships. It is important to understand that the brain circuits of men and women are different. Men tend to be more rational, while women are more emotional.

Men have six primary needs: trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, recognition, and encouragement.

Women also have six needs: love, understanding, respect, loyalty, consideration, and a sense of security.

This illustrates that the requirements of men and women vary at different levels. Due to their distinct emotional necessities, men and women communicate and perceive things in different ways.

The issue is that neither party is able to comprehend the other's needs, leading to recurring arguments and resentment. It's akin to two hedgehogs, unable to find the optimal distance for mutual understanding.

Going forward, it would be beneficial to employ more declarative sentences and fewer rhetorical questions and negative statements when communicating with others. Focus on discussing the matter at hand and refrain from getting involved with personal feelings and judgments. In essence, it would be advantageous to utilize non-violent communication methods to address issues and navigate life.

Avoid unnecessary expenditure of energy.

It is important to note that the communication methods I have introduced are designed to meet the specific needs of men and women in intimate relationships. When an emotional need arises, it is essential to express it to the other party in a clear and constructive manner. By doing so, you can avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

In your account, you discuss your former partner's shortcomings and your perceived dedication. In addressing these issues, you may have inadvertently caused distress. Instead of defending or concealing the other person's imperfections, it may be more constructive to confront them openly and work towards their personal growth.

Regardless of whether the other person is sensitive or not, they will be able to discern your honesty and respect for them.

You stated that, when playing games, the other person removed your administrator status as a game avatar, which made you feel humiliated. It was noted that the other person did not care about the friendship they had had in the past. As a result, you are unable to forgive the other person and you are filled with resentment.

In light of the above, I would like to remind you that life and theatre share certain similarities.

This is also applicable to gaming. In the event of an error, it is essential to demonstrate courage and awareness by assuming responsibility as the relevant individual.

Accordingly, as the designated authority figure in this scenario, there is no inherent issue with relinquishing your administrator status. In line with Beck's cognitive theory, it is crucial to ascertain whether this is a decision driven by a genuine desire to remove yourself from the situation, whether it is a consequence of your missteps, or whether it is a form of retribution for the dissolution of your relationship.

Once you have determined the veracity of the matter, you will be able to resolve it. The next step is to identify automatic thinking and avoid allowing habitual thinking to negatively impact you.

In the context of the game, your role is not irreplaceable, so you should be treated equally. Since you are being treated equally and punished for your mistakes, there does not appear to be an issue.

Identify and address any cognitive errors in your thinking and adjust your perceptions accordingly. Take a moment to assess your emotions. Have they changed?

If you have a peaceful mind, it indicates that you have acknowledged your own shortcomings in this matter and have developed as an individual.

If you are willing to let go, then our communication today has been worthwhile.

I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

My name is Chu Mingdeng, and I extend my sincerest regards to you and the world.

Hello!

I totally get you! I'm here for you, through all your emotions. Hugs!

You often argued with each other, and you got tired of it and broke up. It is possible that from the beginning your relationship was in a mode of loving and killing each other. The fact that the two of you were able to get together in the first place shows that there must be certain aspects of you that attract and complement each other, which is great! But at the same time, there are also conflicting aspects of your personalities that make this kind of intimate relationship very tiring.

From your description, it's clear that in this relationship, you were a real trooper! You put up with the man's bad temper and emotional nature for two years, accommodating him, taking on a lot, and giving a lot. After the breakup, he lost his temper with you, saying harsh things. You feel that your efforts haven't been duly rewarded, but you know you gave it your all, and that's what matters!

1. Take control of your own emotions first!

It's totally normal to feel angry when you're in the midst of intense emotions. It's like your body and mind are on high alert, and you're flooded with feelings of injustice and aggression towards the other person. It's also common to lose sight of the good things about the other person when you're feeling this way. But here's the good news: you can take control of your emotions and start seeing the other person in a more positive light!

Dealing with your emotions can start by seeing your emotions. Be aware of your anger and grievances, and watch your emotions slowly subside. You will then be more rational and be able to rethink and sort out the matter.

2. It's time to learn to view relationships from a relational perspective!

The great thing about relationships is that they're a two-way street. What you get from someone is largely determined by your attitude towards them, as well as their attitude towards you.

Viewing relationships from a relational perspective is a fantastic way to prevent one-sided and biased views of problems. It also helps us to sort out our own relationships and behavior patterns, find a relatively correct attribution model, and contribute to self-growth and development.

3. Sort through your feelings and make the most of this experience as a chance to grow and learn!

No matter what kind of memories a relationship leaves behind, when it ends, it's time to take stock and move on. You can gain a rational and comprehensive understanding, discover where you need to grow and what your true inner needs are, and understand what kind of partner is right for you. Getting out of the emotional abyss is meaningful for you, and it will better prepare you for the future!

4. Give yourself time!

It'll take time to repair and reintegrate yourself, whether it's the emotions affected by the other party or the internal sense of defeat brought about by the failure of the relationship. But you've got this! Give yourself time to slowly digest and accept the consequences.

I truly believe that sadness, anger, and pain are just temporary emotional expressions. This period of time may be long or short, but it will not continue indefinitely. And you know what? Time will give you the answers you want!

I really hope you are well!

I really hope that Hongyu's reply helps you! Thank you so much for asking!

Hello!

It's been two years now, and it seems like he's not really changing. You're feeling a bit frustrated and uncomfortable because you've invested more financially and emotionally. It's like every little thing sets off a spark in you.

How can you let go of all that pent-up emotion and just let your thoughts flow smoothly? You can usually encourage yourself and give yourself courage.

One reason I sometimes hold back from expressing my true emotions is that I care about the other person's opinion or feelings. We often start to suppress emotions that we think might hurt the relationship. In these moments, it's important to remind yourself that you deserve to feel courageous. It doesn't matter if the other person doesn't approve; you'll feel at ease in your heart, and your emotions will naturally find a way to express themselves.

It's okay to feel strong emotions, but it's even better to choose a gentle way to express them. You could say something like, "I'm feeling pretty angry right now," instead of acting out your feelings with intense actions or words for every little mistake in a game. Emotions can be "spoken."

Don't be too hasty to give up on the whole forest for one big tree.

If you want to refuse him, it's really important to consider the other person's feelings. A blunt refusal might affect the relationship, so it's best to be as tactful as you can and express your apology.

It's important to remember that just giving and suppressing your emotions won't do your relationship any good. When there's discord between you and your partner, it's not easy to repair the damage. But remember, you don't have to make both sides happy all the time. It's okay to let your partner be right sometimes. The suffering you leave behind will last a lifetime, while the momentary suffering is only a process. The process will slowly evaporate over time, and you can let go and move on.

Be kind to yourself.

You haven't let him go. If you're still friends, it means you never loved him.

Maybe your boyfriend is like this, and you loved him.

Second, breaking up should also have a sense of ritual and certainty. It sounds like you two just broke up and then kept hanging out.

If you can, have a formal conversation to share your feelings and break up. If not, cut him out of your heart, learn from it, think about the future, and move on.

You may resent that your efforts weren't reciprocated. There's no right or wrong in relationships. What's done is done.

Learn from your mistakes. Find out why you were tolerant and gave, while he was ungrateful and unaccountable. Find out the lessons for your next relationship. This is the right way.

Come on! I'm looking forward to staying in touch.

Yi Xinli Answering Questions Hall Mutual Aid Community World I Love You

Hello!

I am a mindfulness coach, and learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel your anger, frustration, pain, and helplessness, and I'm here to help you through it!

I'm not going to get into the nitty-gritty of your ex-boyfriend drama, but I've got three awesome tips for you!

First, I suggest you try to understand yourself and give yourself a little comfort.

Doing so will make your heart feel slightly lighter, which will help you think about what to do next—and you'll be amazed at how much better you feel!

You said that you and your ex-boyfriend were together for almost two years, during which time you often quarreled, which gradually evolved into daily quarrels, and finally you broke up. But recently, because of playing games, you got in touch with him, just for some business matters. You made a small mistake in the game, which he interpreted as deliberately messing things up. You also said some harsh things on the phone, which made you very angry. After that, you thought about how you had given a lot when you were with him, and you had never scolded him. This made you even more angry, and you even cursed him. In fact, your state of mind is understandable, because anyone who has been broken up with and is still being blamed by their ex-partner will feel very bad, not to mention the fact that you have given a lot to him. So you have to try to understand yourself, comfort yourself, and "see" that angry, but temporarily helpless and painful self. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your mind will always be filled with all kinds of negative emotions.

And the best part is, when you allow yourself to understand and accept yourself, you can actually make changes in your current situation! It might sound a little strange, but it's true. Because when you allow yourself to embrace your true self, you're allowing for change.

Secondly, I highly recommend that you take a rational look at your own state of mind.

Rational thinking is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you!

To gain a rational view of the situation, you simply need to do two simple things:

The best way to get back at the other person is to live your life to the fullest!

I can see that you are angry with him and want to take revenge on him, but I really hope you can understand that the best way to take revenge on him is not to curse him, because cursing is useless. The best way is to live your life to the fullest!

Second, get this: the status quo can be changed because you can change it!

When you exert your subjective initiative, something amazing happens: your state naturally changes, and your state of mind follows suit!

When you look at it rationally like this, you'll be amazed at how quickly some of those negative emotions will disappear!

Third, I suggest you focus on yourself and think about what you can do to make yourself feel better. You can do it!

When you look at your own state rationally, you'll know exactly what to do! At this point, you focus on yourself and give it your all.

For example, when you can't let go, you can tell yourself, "Living my life to the fullest is the best revenge I can have on him." After such a positive suggestion, you will likely be able to focus on your own affairs, and your mood will slowly improve.

You can also tell yourself when you can't let go, "It's not worth it to waste your time and energy on someone like him." This kind of suggestion is a great way to change your way of thinking and focus on what you should do to feel better!

And there's more! You can also think about what you should and can do best in the moment, whether it's work, finding a new romance, etc. This way, your attention is diverted from the past to the present, and your mood will naturally change!

You can also address your own shortcomings by accepting the things you cannot change and changing the things you can. When you make targeted efforts to become a better person, you will naturally be able to live your life to the fullest. Then you will know that you've not only gotten revenge, you've also achieved something for yourself! That is the most important thing. Because you are taking responsibility for your own life; and so on. In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the current situation, and you can!

Once you start taking action, all those negative emotions will start to dissolve, because taking action is the best way to beat them!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a Coach" at the bottom and I'll be in touch!

This brings to mind my own experience, having already gone through this myself and lived alone for nearly two years. During this period, I occasionally thought about the past, reflected on the past, and looked for reasons.

At first, you may feel a bit confused, then perhaps a little angry and restless. With time, however, you may gradually begin to perceive a shift in your interactions with others.

It can be challenging to let go when there are still so many unanswered questions. If human instinct is to protect oneself, it may be similar to the psychological principle of why some people keep encountering challenging situations. It often takes time and opportunities to improve one's ability to deal with similar situations again and again. This can make it difficult to let go, especially when there's still confusion about what's going on.

Gaining an understanding of why this happens will help you to protect yourself in similar situations next time. However, it can be challenging to identify the reason if you spend all day thinking about it.

It can be challenging to find inspiration when you need it most. However, when you take a break from searching for inspiration and engage in other activities, it often arises unexpectedly.

From my two years of experience, I suggest that you temporarily put aside this problem and pay more attention to other parts of your life, such as your connections with classmates, colleagues, friends and family, and participate in more activities, interest groups, competitions, training classes... It might be helpful to get to know more people and pay more attention to the people around you. Sometimes you will find epiphanies in communication with others. I hope you find some relief from your worries soon.

Dear questioner, I give you a big hug! It's tough to be in a bad mood all the time and feel like someone else is controlling your emotions.

I totally get it! It can feel like it's stuck with you, wrapping itself around you and twisting you up inside. But there's a chance that there are some amazing qualities about the other person that you find absolutely fascinating and irresistible!

But now it seems that more and more you see your dislike and aversion for the other person. In other words, the coexistence of hero and devil has a unique attraction.

The heroic side of you lingers on. The devilish nastiness of the other side makes you hate it.

Right now, you're feeling stuck in this emotional rut. But don't worry, the teacher below has some great advice to help you get out and move on!

First, try to avoid situations where you have contact with each other, and even more so, don't get together to play games. You obviously have communication barriers, and your personalities and temperaments clash.

Even if you have broken up, a relationship where you play games together just can't coexist harmoniously. But don't worry! You will be affected by this tense atmosphere, but you can easily overcome it.

So, avoid any overlapping or connections. Second, it's time to turn your attention to your new friends! Start building a new circle of friends, a social circle, a new circle of life, new expectations, new plans, and a new arrangement of your life.

There's nothing better than saying goodbye to the past and starting something new! I really hope these suggestions help.

Hello, dear child. I admire your courage in expressing your true feelings. Your awareness of your emotions shows that you love yourself very much. I encourage you to take action to love yourself a little more.

Secondly, you are fortunate to have recognized in a timely manner that he is not the type of person you desire and that he has not caused you any harm. This could be seen as a blessing from a higher power.

From your description, it seems that the various things that have happened after the breakup have led you to feel that you no longer love him. However, you are struggling to understand or accept his attitude towards you. There is a common saying that may not be appropriate, but an analogy can help you better understand it. If a dog bites us, should we bite back?

After the intensity of his love has receded, you have gained new insights. You should be grateful that we have not been hurt yet. Apart from life and death, everything else in the world is just a minor setback.

In life, we all experience a few disappointments. What matters is that we learn and grow from them.

If it's possible for you, try to avoid him, whether it's in your daily interactions or in your games. It might also be helpful to avoid anything or anyone that causes you emotional distress. You're still young, and there are many interesting things in life. You have many options. Your wonderful life is the biggest blow to him.

I can also understand your feelings of resentment, especially if, as you say, he is gone. While you may feel relieved for a while, I wonder if you might also experience sadness.

After all, you have been together for almost two years. It's important to remember that there is no right or wrong in a relationship. When the time is up, it may be necessary to say goodbye.

Young people have a colorful life. You might consider spending time with a few friends, going for a walk, enjoying a delicious meal, indulging in something you enjoy, having fun, trying a new sport, exercising, reading a good book, or simply relaxing. All of these activities can be effective ways to manage your emotions. You may find it helpful to try a few of these strategies to see which ones resonate with you. When you immerse yourself in the things you like, many things will change.

I hope that your future will be bright.

I see the problem, so let me answer a few of my thoughts!

First, it's clear that this relationship isn't equal. From what I've seen, it seems like the guy doesn't really care about the girl. He gives her little but blames her a lot. Obviously, he's not suitable as a boyfriend. I agree with your choice to break up—it's the best thing you can do!

Now, let's dive into the second point, which is all about emotions. We've all had those feelings of resentment towards someone's actions. We've all experienced feeling like we've given so much, only to have the person we gave it to not treat us well. It can be really frustrating! But here's the thing: there are so many emotions that have nowhere to go. So, let's think about it in a more general way:

Let me give you an example. Imagine you've lovingly raised a puppy, but it suddenly turns feral and bites you. It's a scary situation, but there's nothing you can do except scold it because it's not the same species and doesn't understand you. It's a great opportunity to learn more about yourself and your limits! Do you understand what I mean?

To paraphrase the slightly more official note from the current body-mind-spirit class, my dear, the appearance of anyone has its own meaning, and is a gift from God for us to gain something!

So, the big question is: is it a good idea to keep getting angry and arguing with someone who has personality disorders, or is it a great idea to see what you can learn from the experience?

And the third point is to reflect on why I like this kind of person. What attracts me to them?

Why have I put up with it for so long? I can't wait to find out what he'll bring me!

What do I want? What exciting insecurities can I get from him?

What are the gaps in my heart that need to be filled by a relationship? Looking at all these questions is a great way to find out!

The most frightening thing in life is to be awake. But if it doesn't work out, you can choose to leave as soon as possible. When you leave, think about all the introspection and awareness you have gained. I think there is a high chance that you will grow faster and meet that more suitable person. I hope my answer is helpful to you!

I really hope things get better and better for you! I truly believe you will find true happiness. If you want to discuss emotional issues in a relationship, you are more than welcome to send me a private message to make an appointment.

The host is here for you and can see your confusion, unease, and resentment. You've done so well, so give yourself a big hug!

It's totally normal to feel confused right now. It's okay to feel helpless and to have feelings of disgust and hatred towards your ex-boyfriend. I'm here to help!

1. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you're feeling, including disgust and hatred.

In the original poster's description, after the breakup, because the two were still in contact, the other person lost control of their emotions over a trivial matter and yelled at you. The poor original poster felt very hurt, aggrieved, and sad. His behavior all showed that the other person did not care much about your feelings, which is really sad.

I'm curious, what kind of relationship do you think you had after the breakup? It seems like you still have expectations of him. You think you've given a lot and know him very well, and that he'll be as moved by you as you imagine. You might even fantasize that he'll still communicate with you and play games with you, so that you still have a chance.

But you know, the host also understands that they're a real person too. They want to give and receive, and they want to be cared for and loved.

But the fact is that you broke up and the other person did not treat you well. This is really tough, and it's totally normal to feel angry and resentful.

It's totally okay to vent with friends and let out the repressed thoughts in your mind.

2. Take some time to think about what love really means to you and what kind of romantic relationship you want.

It's time to think about why you allow your partner to treat you this way. We choose our relationships, and we can choose to give up an unhealthy or uncomfortable relationship if we want to.

Love is about two people being attracted to each other, sharing their moods and lives, and facing difficulties together. If you keep giving and consuming yourself to support a relationship, you might find that you don't get the respect you deserve. After all, relationships are not like doing exercises in school where there is always a right answer.

I really hope that the original poster can understand that the golden rule of communication is to treat others as you would like to be treated, with sincerity and mutual respect. If you can embrace this mindset, you might just find that you can enjoy the simple pleasures of a happy, ordinary relationship.

You don't have to keep getting involved in difficult relationships, and you don't have to keep using the rescuer archetype on other people. First, find your own balance, and treat yourself well!

3. Take a moment to think back to situations in your life where you were in an unequal relationship with someone else.

If the original poster has always been able to put up with being treated in this way, it's likely that they've become accustomed to it over time, either in childhood or in daily life, in such unequal relationships. Examples could be parents, superiors, siblings, colleagues, and so on.

The landlord should start with the people around him, constantly firming up his position and principles. You have the right to choose how the other person speaks to you, and you also have the right to choose whether to do what the other person wants. Through repeated practice, you can find yourself, so that you can truly be independent from the inside and be able to protect yourself better when encountering certain things.

I really hope the original poster can find some inner peace and certainty. It's so important not to be soft-hearted when facing bullies. And it's so important to face the other half of kindness with kindness.

Hello. You often argue with your boyfriend. Do you feel happy in this relationship? There's no doubt that this is not the case.

I don't know how old you are, but this behavior is not mature, reasonable, or rational.

Second, after two years together, you've given more, both financially and emotionally. Is this within your means? If you keep giving unreservedly, it's like watering a flower with hot water.

He did a lot of small things that hurt you during the time you were together. I don't know if you can forgive these small things. What is your bottom line?

If you're in a relationship that's not mutually supportive and you're always running after each other, and it's always one party that makes compromises, it's not going to last long and you're not going to be truly happy.

And finally, I hate him. It's hard when there's no return after so long of giving. We were reluctant. When we were together, we made a lot of promises, and we had some good memories of each other. Now it seems that we can't go on, and this kind of emotion, similar to the "unfinished" complex, just tortures us.

There is no cure, but you can take control. Distract yourself with something you enjoy, like playing the piano or dancing. Turn your sorrow into strength and invest in yourself. You will become a better version of yourself.

Forgive the past and move towards a better future!

I know you will have a happy life and a promising future!

I don't know.

Hi, I'm Strawberry.

You have worked hard in this relationship. You have been more accommodating to your ex, but that has not earned you appreciation. There have been too many problems that have never been resolved. You thought you had resolved them, but they have just been forced deep inside you. Every time there is an argument, they will sneak up again, making you feel angry.

You often quarrel. Sometimes a quarrel helps, but a wrong quarrel hurts and causes the relationship to break up. Your quarrels are the wrong kind.

After you broke up, you kept playing games together. This might be an attempt to repair your relationship, or it could be that you just see each other as partners in the game. However, your ex-boyfriend did not distinguish between virtual and reality. He thinks your mistakes in the game are revenge against him. This is immature. He cannot accept defeat. In the virtual world, he may be able to get what he wants, and he will not allow others to ruin it.

The questioner has flaws. You gave him more than he gave you. You thought being nice would make him cherish you. He cares little about others. In every argument, he doesn't reflect on his problems. He is only anxious to express his emotions and never listens to yours.

Why is he heartless? It's been almost a month. How can I let go?

1. Stop the loss in time.

You have already been influenced by his character. You have suffered injustice and blame. This time, after being treated like this, you hate his behavior. Perhaps you begin to regret your devotion after seeing his actions.

The breakup is the end. Accept it. Stop communicating. Delete his contact info. He's not worth your devotion. He won't change. He doesn't know what true love is. Let go. Stop dwelling on his actions. The more you hate, the more you'll struggle to let go.

2. Learn to relax.

Because of your limited abilities, you will self-digest every time you have a conflict. Nothing will be resolved. You will hate because of the disappointments. You did not have time to relieve yourself, so negative emotions appeared.

Talk to others on the platform to help you get through it. There will be many people who can give you different methods. Use these methods to quickly get over the hurt caused by this relationship.

There are many ways to relieve stress. You can cry, for example. Don't think about how much you've given and how he doesn't appreciate it. Give yourself time to recover, and everything will be fine.

3. Change your focus.

Things you do with your partner may make you think of their actions, which may make you feel bad. It's important to shift your focus.

Uninstall the game and replace it with other activities, like exercising, shopping, or thinking about your other hobbies. Believe in yourself and you can do it if you keep at it. When you let it go, it won't have as big an impact on you.

I hope this helps.

Dear girl,

From my perspective as a mother, I believe that ending this relationship would be beneficial for you.

I encourage you to believe that your needs deserve to be respected and to avoid people who don't care about you. Every girl deserves to treasure herself and to be treated better.

I think you've done a great job.

When two people come together, they embark on a journey together that will unfold over time. While passion is a valuable foundation, mutual care and commitment play an even more crucial role. Commitment entails a willingness to work together to navigate and resolve conflicts that may arise in the future.

From your question, I can see that you were together for nearly two years and you no longer contact him now. It seems that you have invested a great deal in this relationship and have tolerated a lot along the way.

Now that you have separated, I can understand that your inner grievances, anger, and unwillingness have made it challenging for you to let go, and you may be unsure of the best way forward.

I would like to share with you the four "its" of Master Xingyun: face it, accept it, deal with it, and let it go.

It is said that everyone has times when they can't let go, and that these four things can be beneficial for the soul.

I'm not sure how to proceed.

I admire your courage in facing the situation head-on and making the decision to end the relationship.

Secondly, it is not yet possible to let go and feel aggrieved and angry. This step of "acceptance" is really not easy.

It could be said that the end of a relationship is also a kind of "loss." After all, you have been together for two years, and you have also seen that you have tolerated and given a lot. It is not uncommon for the more you give, the more reluctant you are to let go.

It is understandable to experience feelings of sadness and distress during this time. It is important to allow yourself to express these emotions in a healthy manner.

It might be helpful to find someone you trust who can keep your secret and support you through this process. During this time, it's important to feel understood and have someone to turn to for guidance.

Please allow yourself the time you need to heal.

You might also find it helpful to keep a diary to keep yourself company.

It might also be helpful to consider incorporating some gentle exercise into your daily routine. There's no need to make it complicated. Just a few stretches every day, for about 3-5 minutes, can make a difference.

The two steps of dealing with it and letting it go require that you be able to accept it and then look at it. What is hidden in this pain is a better experience that will make you live a better life in the future. This may require waiting for the right moment, and it's understandable if you find it challenging to accept now.

If you can view it from this perspective, it may also be a source of healing.

It may appear that things have returned to a point of departure, but it is possible that this is, in fact, a new beginning. After a period of transition, it can feel as though one is being reborn, like the mythical phoenix.

I wish you well and hope that you will become a better version of yourself.

Hello, sweetheart. I can see you're feeling a little confused right now. Hugs!

It's okay, sweetheart. You are experiencing some emotional problems. Give him a warm hug again.

I totally get it. Why can't you let go of your ex?

That's because you were together for two whole years!

You two had such a great time playing games together!

Two years together is a long time, and it's not something you can just let go of if you want to.

But now that a month has passed, it might be time for you to let go.

So, how do you let go, sweetheart?

I really think you should try the following methods.

Another great idea is to write him a formal farewell letter. You can write as much or as little as you want, and it can be as long or short as you need it to be.

Another great option is the "empty chair technique."

I know it can be tough, but the "empty chair technique" might help. All you have to do is sit in a chair and imagine your ex-boyfriend sitting in the other empty chair. Then, say everything you want to say to him, including all your negative emotions. You might be surprised at how much it helps!

You'll be happy to know that very often, after you've said it, you'll let it go completely.

If you really want to get rid of all that pent-up anger, why not go to a remote mountain and let it all out by shouting?

I really hope the problem you're having can be fixed soon.

I'm sorry, but I can only think of the above.

I really hope my answers are helpful and inspiring to you, sweet girl. I'm here for you, and I'm studying hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!