Why can't I understand why so many people say bad things about you behind your back?

Insightful and makes sharing a habit! I'm talking to myself, my friends.

I could say a thousand words and explain a thousand things if you'd like!

Oh, the poor questioner is in this kind of embarrassing situation today!

It's all because of that tricky word, "money."

I just wanted to check in and see if you lovely people are making money in your business today.

I really do think it would be a different story!

There is just one thing I wanted to say.

I feel particularly unworthy, you know?

Just on this one thing, if you don't mind.

It doesn't matter whether you've made money or not.

I'm sure you'll agree with me that, in theory and in practice, it's not something you can control.

Your friends

I won't go into more detail here.

I totally get it! From your argument, there's really no need for me to say more.

I'm sure you'll do great things, but with that little heart, I don't think you can accomplish anything truly great.

I'm sure you'll agree that anyone who does business

I'm sure you'll make a profit and avoid losses 100%!

I guess no one would be so bold as to guarantee it with their chest out!

You, my friend

It's tough out there for folks who've already entered the workforce and are struggling to make a living.

People who have been through a lot in life

But also unable to overcome such a heartache.

This really makes me wonder, my friend.

Oh, come on! Who doesn't gossip about others behind their backs? And who isn't gossiped about?

I think, with your life experience, you'll understand.

You probably already know what this saying means, but I thought I'd explain it anyway!

Hey there! I just wanted to check in and see if you know the meaning of this saying.

And let's not forget how awkward it can be in these situations!

Even if they're open-minded.

Even those with a broad mind

I think it's just a fact of life that there will be some people who gossip about you, but you know what? That's okay!

It's only natural, so please don't let it get you down!

And don't doubt life!

In today's world,

It seems that every industry and every person

And they're doing their best!

And have the courage to live!

I think anyone who is full of hope for life is wonderful!

And let themselves live happily with their families, too!

And let themselves and their families live happily ever after!

I'm right there with you, my friend!

I'm sorry you're having a bad experience with business.

We all know how it goes. Sometimes, it can be really hard to understand what other people are thinking and feeling.

It's something we all face at some point in our lives.

I know it can feel a bit strange at first.

I totally get it. It can feel uncomfortable and frustrating.

But I just wanted to say...

I truly believe that this should be the way life is supposed to be.

One thing, one person.

Because of things like this,

It'll help you think more clearly.

And you'll be more alert!

And you'll be more determined!

That's the way you should be, my friend.

And finally, a few words of your own.

The scariest part about being alone is not having to face some tough situations.

But, my dear friend,

Because of this or that tough situation.

And before you know it, you'll start to

Don't doubt your abilities, sweetheart!

And you doubt your own life.

And so you feel unworthy of having and receiving.

And so on.

It's totally normal to feel like you'll never succeed sometimes. We've all been there!

I really, truly hope you can see the path ahead.

A person, my dear friend!

You are a dreamer with light in your eyes and love in your heart!

Dream chaser, you can do it!

Greetings. I am a psychotherapy coach. I will provide a supportive and empathetic presence as you share your experiences.

They are aware of your concerns and uncertainty. Due to the lack of financial success in your business venture, there is a pervasive atmosphere of discontent and discord, which has led to a deterioration in your relationship. They engage in behind-your-back criticism, which has a detrimental impact on your emotional state, hindering your ability to acknowledge and address your own shortcomings.

"The infant is experiencing distress" is the most accurate description of your current emotional state. Let us examine the issue together after I offer you a comforting embrace.

One can posit with a reasonable degree of certainty that the motivation behind human behavior is the avoidance of harm and the pursuit of gain.

The natural law of almost all living things is to seek out advantages and avoid disadvantages. People are constantly seeking external reasons to absolve themselves of blame, which is motivated by the desire to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages.

In the event of a business partner's failure, they will not consider the possibility that they may have been at fault. Instead, they will ascribe the cause to external factors or circumstances, or even to others. This is indicative of a lack of wisdom and understanding.

The benefit to him is short-term, while the harm is merely immediate.

Each individual possesses a unique set of inherent patterns, behavioral patterns, and emotional patterns, which they bring to bear in their diverse relationships. For instance, one may exhibit optimistic and grateful patterns, while simultaneously displaying pessimistic and complaining patterns.

In psychological research, attribution styles are classified into two categories: positive and negative.

In the case of negative events, individuals who attribute negative events to internal, stable, and uncontrollable factors are referred to as "negative attributers." Conversely, those who attribute positive events to external, unstable, accidental, and uncontrollable factors are known as "positive attributers."

These are, in fact, merely personal self-protection mechanisms that serve to safeguard individuals from potential harm, or at the very least, from damaging their self-confidence and self-esteem. This is achieved by deflecting blame onto external parties or the broader social context.

The term "attribution style," also known as "attribution method" or "explanatory method," refers to the relatively stable attribution tendencies formed by individuals over the long-term attribution process.

Specifically, it pertains to the manner in which an individual habitually interprets the underlying causes of events, which is subject to individual characteristics and is evaluated based on the individual's assessment of the causes of multiple events.

?2. What are the reasons behind the significant concern about the opinions of others?

This is primarily attributable to a subjective evaluation of self-worth, which is independent of external influences.

This subjective evaluation typically originates in early childhood and is typically developed gradually through interactions with parents and other significant individuals who provide affirmations, acceptance, recognition, praise, commendation, and encouragement.

If a child is raised in an environment where negative comments are the norm and they do not receive affirmation or encouragement from their parents, they will lack the psychological nourishment that is essential for healthy development.

Such children will subconsciously develop a very low opinion of themselves, particularly if they have been abandoned by their parents since childhood. They will internalize a self-evaluation that includes the phrases "I'm not good enough" and "I'm not worth having."

During their formative years, individuals who have experienced a lack of affirmation and encouragement from their parents may develop a sense of uncertainty about their own value. They may also exhibit a tendency to attach significant importance to the opinions of others, particularly in situations where they perceive external factors to be a potential source of distress.

An individual's self-worth is largely contingent upon their family of origin and the manner in which they were raised by their parents or other significant adults during their formative years.

An individual with a robust sense of self-worth will evince a proclivity for self-improvement and a propensity to pursue virtuous actions.

Those with a low self-esteem are akin to individuals with fragile egos, placing significant emphasis on the opinions of others. They often experience difficulties in interpersonal relationships, hindering marital and business collaborations due to trivial disagreements. Consequently, they may miss out on financial opportunities, damage relationships, impede their children's growth, and ultimately lead to a less fulfilling life.

3. What is the relationship between happiness and this concept?

This is contingent upon one's inner motivation.

In his writings, the pessimist Arthur Schopenhauer observed that human existence is characterized by a constant state of longing and dissatisfaction. When these desires remain unfulfilled, he argued, individuals experience suffering. Conversely, when they are fulfilled, they tend to succumb to a state of apathy and boredom.

When individuals seek external sources for material gain, external praise, and external recognition, they inevitably experience pain and loss when their expectations are not met.

When an individual shifts their focus from external pursuits to introspection and personal growth, they regain control of their own destiny. This is exemplified by the act of discovering one's true calling.

When an individual is able to create value for society and others, they experience a sense of purpose and well-being, which can be perceived as a mission in itself.

Genuine self-assurance is derived from a sense of self-worth and optimism about one's future prospects. It entails the ability to accept setbacks and criticism with equanimity.

He is self-assured and believes in himself wholeheartedly.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned information is beneficial to you and, indeed, to the world at large. With all my heart, I wish you well.

Should you wish to continue the communication, you are invited to click on the link entitled "Find a coach," which can be found in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. This will enable you to engage in one-to-one communication and growth with me.

Hello!

If you let your frustration and sense of incompetence get the better of you and you vent it on others because of a single failure, you'll be setting yourself up for failure. You'll be much more likely to succeed if you take a deep breath, reflect on your own problems and learn from your experience. The harder you try, the more likely you are to succeed!

Business is not something that is achieved gradually. It is something that involves taking risks—and that's what makes it exciting!

Everyone desires success! We all want to make our lives better and better, and to improve the quality and happiness of life. This is a wonderful thing. However, when we pursue higher goals without adequate preparation, including accepting the risk of failure, then the psychological balance will be upset in the process of striving and working hard. This is something we can avoid! The pursuit of success becomes the mentality of a "gambler," where only success is allowed and failure is not. Let's avoid this trap!

Once this mentality becomes the main focus, the sky's the limit! Set your sights high and aim for the stars. But remember, expectations should be realistic. If they're too high, there's a greater chance of disappointment.

So, when a project fails, they immediately shift the blame to each other and put the main responsibility on someone else. This is because they cannot accept failure. But here's the thing: once they accept failure, they have to face reality. And accepting reality means facing pain and taking responsibility for things.

However, if the partner's perception and views on the matter are immature, leading to the failure of the cooperation project, it may become "not even friends." This can be understood as self-protection. But, why can't "I" face others' doubts with a calm and objective attitude? In fact, this is the main point of concern and awareness of the question. No matter how others "frame" us, if we can maintain a constant mood, things may not become complicated, and we will not have to suffer pain that we should not have to bear.

1. Disappointment is caused by excessively high expectations, so expectations should be reasonably adjusted.

When you can work together, it shows that you have a certain amount of trust between each other. And when you cooperate, you do so on the premise of recognizing each other's abilities. But when things are the first point and ability comes first, it can sometimes make the importance of "character" blur. And then, when things change and things are no longer the top priority, character then becomes an important factor in whether or not the two parties can establish an alliance again. So, when things don't work out, it's only natural for the two parties to "part ways." But don't worry! Because character needs to be based on a deep and thorough understanding of each other.

Now, it's time to reflect on how much you understand and trust your partner. What are the dimensions and criteria for such understanding and trust?

It's clear that the topic owner is feeling disappointed and a bit lost. This is totally normal! We all have expectations, and sometimes they aren't met. That's okay! The key is to adjust your expectations in a reasonable way. This will help you stay emotionally stable.

2. Take charge of your boundaries and embrace your power to take responsibility for yourself.

Adults feel stressed and tired because they have the incredible opportunity to take responsibility for their actions! When things don't go as planned, they have the chance to learn and grow from the experience. However, when something falls within one's own sphere, it's an amazing opportunity to take full responsibility for it. This allows us to face the negative effects of failure head-on and use it as a catalyst for positive change. It's a chance for problem-solving and complete mental growth — what an incredible opportunity!

3. You don't have to cater to or please others when expressing negative emotions.

We've all seen people get really upset when they're feeling uncomfortable. It's because when we can't handle the pain in our bodies and minds, we need to let it out! It's a way to relieve the tension in our emotions and bodies, so we can feel better. And when things don't go as planned, I think the questioner has some negative feelings and sadness too. But he hasn't lashed out like the partner, who is acting unethically and irrationally. It's good to face our negative feelings and express them when we need to. It helps us feel better!

You can still choose to express your position and feelings gently, telling the other person, "My feelings are no worse than yours. Things turned out the way they did, and I feel worse and more regretful than anyone else, and what you did made me feel even worse and more sad~". When I did my best to do everything I needed to do, our emotions will begin to return to normal gear at this point, because without regret, there is no more responsibility to bear.

Take your time!

You've got this! I'm rooting for you!

Hello! I totally get where you're coming from!

First of all, it's so interesting how many people love to gossip about others! Think about it: how many people around you have told you stories about other people's shortcomings?

At that time, since it is not about us, we may just take it as a topic of conversation and not necessarily take it to heart. Similarly, since this group of people can speak ill of others in front of us, it is only logical that they would do the same to us if the situation were reversed – so let's not take it personally!

Second, there are only two kinds of comments about others, whether behind their backs or face to face: one is that the person is right, and the other is that the person is wrong.

If someone says something to your face that you agree with, you may feel embarrassed. Not everything we do is something we want to show to others. But here's the good news: the comments behind your back can be a great way to deal with the situation more calmly!

If you make a mistake, just consider it a reminder from others. If you have a fault, correct it; if not, be all the more diligent!

Unless it's important, don't sweat it! Otherwise, you'll spend your whole life doing nothing and all your energy will be spent on meaningless things.

The great news is that most people who judge us only rely on first impressions or hearsay. Even better, experienced people will not really judge you based on these comments. And guess what? Whether or not the people who are willing to make judgments about you are meaningful to you is not important.

And the best part is, there's absolutely no problem treating people sincerely, as long as you persist! You'll also meet lots of sincere people along the way. And you don't need many friends; one or two for a lifetime is more than enough!

As for the others, they are free to come and go. It's great to have a variety of friends, so gather together more often if they can bring you fun and benefit!

Otherwise, keep your distance and save the time to improve yourself. You've got this! No one is good enough for everyone, so be the best you can be!

If one day everyone says hello to you, it's only because you've become famous and rich, and everyone needs you! It's a great feeling when people compliment you in exchange for some benefits!

I really hope this helps! I wish you all the best for the future!

I get it. It's rough enough being in business and not making any money, but then to have a partner who speaks ill of you behind your back. It's really upsetting.

It's actually pretty common to speak ill of others behind their backs. It's a way of protecting ourselves.

People have different ways of explaining why they succeed and why others succeed. If they succeed, they say it's because they worked hard and have the right skills.

If someone else succeeds, people will say it's more a matter of luck. It's easier to achieve psychological balance this way and protect your psyche from frustration.

Similarly, when it comes to failure, people are also prone to use attributions that benefit themselves. If they fail, they'll probably say it was bad luck or something they couldn't control.

But if someone else fails, people will say it's because they're not capable or they didn't do things the right way.

You and your partner are in business together, and I don't think they're happy about the lack of profit. Not making money is annoying enough, but blaming yourself for the failure is even more unbearable.

This is just human nature. So, to keep a sense of psychological balance, many people tend to find fault with others.

Maybe your little friend doesn't think badly of you, but in this situation, it might be better for them psychologically.

Once you understand why they're acting this way, you'll see that they don't actually think you're not good enough. They just want to get their psychological balance back by complaining behind your back, which is also a common human trait.

Of course, it's only natural that it doesn't feel good when we hear people talking behind our backs. So how do we deal with this situation?

One way to deal with this is to also tell your partner your troubles face to face. I also want to make money, and I don't want us to make no money doing business together. Another way is to not take their complaints seriously.

It'll affect you emotionally.

I hope this helps. Best regards, The World and I

Hello, question asker! I read your words and I can tell you're frustrated and feeling helpless. I want you to know that I understand.

I had the same feeling when I started my own business. My reply is for your reference.

First, look outward. You're right. When you start a business together, everyone's goal is to make money. The starting point is always a good one. But ideals are full, and reality is skinny.

You are clearly a kind-hearted person who did not engage in futile arguments with those who attacked you.

You said you opened your own business and found a few collaborators, but you didn't make any money. When you went out, people criticized you and said you had a bad character. I want to know who criticized you and said you had a bad character.

They have nothing to do with you. Why didn't you argue back?

I eat my own food and lose my own money. It doesn't matter to me what anyone else thinks. There are only three things in this world: your own affairs, other people's affairs, and the affairs of God.

They don't care!

Secondly, my husband and brother don't think I need to care about these things, and they don't want to hear me talk about them, but they feel bad inside! Let me be clear: you are very happy, and your family is your strong backing. They can understand you and support you, which is the happiest thing!

Your husband's support is invaluable. Cherish him!

When starting a business partnership, it is crucial to choose partners wisely, especially in terms of character. Additionally, it is essential to consider the distribution of equity, the terms of the exit agreement, and other important aspects before entering into a partnership. These factors should be clearly outlined in writing. I learned these lessons the hard way, and I am here to share them with you so you can avoid my mistakes! Furthermore, the choice of project is also a crucial decision. During the pandemic, it is best to invest as little as possible.

Now, let's get to the heart of the matter. What is the goal of those who attack you?

First, they may really care about you. They may even be anxious to see you lose money. They want to help you analyze the cause. However, the analysis process has gone astray. It has turned into accusations! While accusing you, they let you know that you are wrong!

Second, these people who may attack also want to succeed. They express their sense of identity, ability, and authority by blaming others.

And finally, you need to know how to deal with passive-aggressive attacks.

Listen! People who argue with each other usually have three mindsets: they want to persuade you, vent their emotions, or express themselves.

Persuasive people try to force their views on others.

Express yourself clearly.

Guide the other person in a more gentle tone and let them express themselves fully. Remember, we want to solve problems, not create conflict.

❤️3. Before a conflict arises, we must anticipate three questions and ask ourselves:

I want to express my main theme.

I want to achieve a result.

I need to know what arguments I can use to support my topic and achieve the result I want.

Use passive aggression to your advantage.

Ignore and turn a deaf ear to the other person's attacks. Don't get angry.

There is a famous saying in the United States: "When someone tries to give you a gift and you don't accept it, then whose hands does the gift end up in? The person who is trying to anger you, his goal is to anger you. When you are knocked down by him, his goal has been achieved.

Express your anger appropriately.

Appropriate anger lets friends know when they've hurt your feelings. It also shows them that respect is needed to get along. There are only three things in this world!

❤️6. Win people's hearts. Respect each other. Put yourselves in each other's shoes. Communicate sincerely and wholeheartedly. Even in an argument, show the beauty and wisdom within. Build a radiant personality and personal image.