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Why do I and all my friends have fallen out?

male friendship vacation conflict financial aid dispute roommate tension recommendation betrayal
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Why do I and all my friends have fallen out? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I am a male. Last vacation, Friend 1 (male) invited me out to play, and the whole time I felt very uncomfortable. I was heavily mocked for mistaking a singer's name, and when I brought up that he had a girlfriend, he was unwilling to share any details with me. He would always avoid me when using his phone, and he would sneakily peek at my messages when I was replying. Finally, I confronted him about sneaking a look at my phone, resulting in a big argument and a complete cutoff of communication.

Last semester, Friend 2 (male) was also my roommate due to similar family situations. Since only one person can apply for financial aid per semester, we had previously agreed to alternate. As the dorm leader, I gave him the spot for the previous semester. When it was time to reapply this semester, my family had some urgent matters, so I needed the aid. When I saw that he had also submitted an application (this semester was determined by the class president), I initially remained calm. However, a few months later, there was still no news about the financial aid. I suspected that he had taken it, and I started a cold war.

This vacation, Friend 3 (female) asked me to recommend a new phone for her. I found many merits that I thought were good. She sent my recommendations to someone else, used them to contradict me, and even showed me screenshots of why the other person thought my recommendations were bad. I was very offended, but she brought up that my previous recommendations were not useful, and we have been in a cold war ever since.

Victor Thompson Victor Thompson A total of 1306 people have been helped

Hello!

You want to know why you have trouble with friends and how to make friends.

Let's look at when friends can get along. We know we're all different and have different ideas. We often say it would be nice to have friends who think the same way.

In relationships, we influence and persuade each other to reach a consensus. It's not easy, is it?

Let's try this:

➡️ Be open-minded. Everyone needs friends, and no one is perfect. If someone does something wrong, forgive them. For example, if a friend laughs at you for mispronouncing a singer's name, it's not malicious. If someone looks at your phone out of curiosity, it's fine.

➡️ Learn to express your thoughts. If friends don't say what they mean, they can misunderstand each other. For example, when it comes to applying for financial aid, things change. You may not know that your friend needs money, and your friend may not know that your family needs money. So, you can talk to that friend, understand each other, and find a better solution.

➡️ Looking at things from different perspectives helps you become more tolerant. Your classmate showing you something someone else recommended may seem negative, but it could help you discover strengths you didn't know you had. If you benefit, the negativity is nothing.

I hope this helps!

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Comments

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Jaxon Anderson Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.

I can totally relate to feeling out of place when hanging out with friends. It's really tough when you're made to feel like you don't belong or are being judged. It seems like Friend 1 was not very considerate of your feelings.

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Zorro Thomas Forgiveness is a way to turn our pain into a lesson and our anger into wisdom.

It sounds like there's a lot of unspoken tension between you and Friend 1. Maybe he didn't realize how his actions were affecting you. Have you thought about having an open conversation once things cool down?

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Wallace Miller Forgiveness is a beautiful act of kindness towards oneself and others.

Friendship should be built on trust, and it's disheartening when that trust is broken. With Friend 1, it feels like the relationship lacked mutual respect and honesty, which are so important for maintaining a healthy friendship.

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Seraphina Miller A teacher's ability to listen is a haven where students can voice their learning concerns.

The situation with Friend 2 feels like a breach of a prior agreement, and that can be incredibly frustrating. It's hard when someone you trusted doesn't uphold their end of the deal.

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Brady Miller The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.

When it comes to Friend 3, it's disappointing when someone takes your advice and then uses it against you. It seems like communication broke down here as well, leading to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

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