Why do I feel guilty for taking sick leave as a primary school teacher and class teacher?

Hi there,

From what you've told me, it seems like your previous description is normal. However, your unreasonable supervisor, the teaching director, not only doesn't believe in you, but also strictly requires you to "attend work and classes on Monday." However, due to physical reasons, you are unable to complete your work tasks, and you will let down other people's expectations and requirements of you.

From the outside, it seems like the head teacher has a bit of a bad reputation and might even feel a bit embarrassed. Understandably, you're feeling pretty self-blaming in this situation.

Take care!

Learn to separate your tasks.

You did the right thing by seeing a doctor on time and letting the school know you're still recovering from your illness and dealing with a fever and cough. You did everything you could.

The principal also gave you a leave of absence, which was reasonable and in line with the usual procedure. It's unlikely anyone would criticise you for that.

As for whether the head teacher is humane or not, it's his business and falls within his jurisdiction. That's his topic. You only need to be responsible for your own topic. This is his life and attitude towards life.

What does it mean for you to not support or accept other people's judgments?

From what you've told me, this seems like a pretty minor issue. The head teacher, who doesn't have a lot of power and whose boss, the school principal, agrees with him, is making a fuss and pointing fingers, demanding that other people not... It's a bit ridiculous, don't you think? First of all, you didn't skip work without a good reason.

Second, if you're not feeling well, you could still infect others with respiratory infections. That's why we have to follow the rules for epidemic prevention and control.

If you have a fever, cough, or feel weak, you could be sent to isolation. And this person actually wants you to go to work—that's a pretty narrow-minded attitude.

It's pretty ridiculous that someone who's supposed to be a teacher doesn't know how to take care of people.

But why does one of his words make you feel hurt, even like you're not good enough, and make you blame yourself, "like you've done something wrong"?

My dear, you did nothing wrong! It's perfectly normal to need to rest when you're sick, and you did the right thing.

You also have to think about your students. You can't let them catch your cold.

If you're still feeling unwell, remember that there are lots of people in this world and it's okay if others don't like, understand or accept you.

The most important thing is to take care of your health.

Dear, whether you're a breastfeeding mother, or you're looking after yourself, or you're a subject teacher for children, you need to take care of yourself and maintain your health so that you have more energy and time to look after your baby, your students, and your school.

Honey, don't forget that outside of all these roles, you are also a woman. You need to take responsibility for your body and your feelings, take good care of yourself, stay in a good mood, boost your immunity, fill yourself with energy, and live more vibrantly.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I'm sending you all my love from the world and me!

Good morning,

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a heart exploration coach. I have carefully read the post, and first of all, I understand the self-blame you feel.

Furthermore, the poster has acknowledged their inner self and sought assistance on the platform, which will undoubtedly assist them in understanding themselves better and adjusting their state of mind to feel more comfortable with themselves.

Next, I will share my observations and thoughts from the post, which may assist the poster in viewing themselves from a more diverse perspective.

1. Identify the source of the self-blame.

As noted in the post, the author inquired about the reasons behind feelings of guilt when taking sick leave. This is a thought-provoking question that resonates with many individuals.

Many people share this sentiment. Let us examine the underlying reasons for this.

We may inquire as to the source of the voice of self-blame.

The individual may be surprised to learn that the feeling of self-blame originates from within. While this may seem counterintuitive, from a psychological perspective, we can conceptualize ourselves as comprising three distinct parts.

The Ego represents desires.

The superego represents rules, laws, morals, and so forth.

Regulating the id and superego makes us more suitable for living in reality.

From this perspective, the host is seeking a period of rest because he is unable to continue at the current pace. You are unsure of the best course of action, which indicates that your ego has not yet adapted.

I believe you have also identified the source of your self-blame. It stems from the superego.

Furthermore, there are the laws, rules, and morals that extend beyond the scope of my representation.

Discipline and morality may be influenced by external factors. Therefore, it may be beneficial to reflect on your personal growth journey and identify any external influences that may have shaped your self-perception.

Such memories may assist in understanding and self-knowledge, particularly in situations where performance is lacking or when one is a burden to others.

2. The most important thing is to prioritize your own well-being.

After reviewing your post, I was reminded of a video speech by the renowned psychologist Wu Zhihong, who said, "The most important thing is to take care of yourself." What does it mean to take care of ourselves? I believe it entails learning to listen to our inner voice and respecting our inner feelings.

Many individuals are accustomed to suppressing their inner feelings and self-sacrificing to meet the needs of others. However, from a psychological standpoint, optimal care for others is contingent upon self-care.

It is only by taking care of ourselves that we can have the energy and mental stability to care for others. This is the only way to achieve further progress.

3. Cultivate self-care practices.

When faced with self-blame, the original poster may be able to learn to care for themselves. There is a saying that goes, "Sometimes our own cruelty to ourselves is the last straw that breaks us. On the contrary, our gentle care for ourselves will give us the strength to go further." It is important to understand that self-care is essential, particularly when one is vulnerable.

I believe the original poster can empathize with a friend facing a similar situation. How would you provide comfort and assistance? By extension, we can apply this same approach to support others.

I hope these words have been of some help and inspiration to you. If you have any questions, you can also click to find a coach for one-on-one communication. Let's address our questions together.

Hello, I'm Xiang Er.

I admire you as a teacher. It's not easy, especially as a class teacher. I understand your dilemma and feel for you. I'm here for you.

Xiang Er has some opinions and suggestions for you.

1. Sense of responsibility

You care about your students and are a responsible teacher. You asked for leave to avoid infecting students and to rest. If you go back before you're better, you'll feel guilty. If just one student gets sick because of you, you'll feel even worse.

You're worried your absence will affect your child's studies, which makes you anxious.

2. Physical condition

"The head of the teaching office told me to go to work on Monday even though I still had a fever." He was also worried about the students, so he hoped you would return to school as soon as possible. However, you are not well enough to work. You have a "medical certificate stating that you should rest for 5 days" instead of being lazy.

You have a fever and acute bronchitis. This can affect your ability to teach.

If you keep teaching when you're sick, it will make you sicker. In severe cases, it can even affect your voice.

If you don't take care of your body, it will take longer to recuperate.

3️⃣ Take care of your child

The child is only 9 months old and still breastfeeding. If you go to work while your strength is low, it will affect your milk and you will be worn down. You will not be able to take care of your child.

Tell the head teacher what's going on and why it's important. I hope they understand and support you. Get well soon!

Hello question asker.

Your students and family need you to be well, so it's better to listen to the principal. Everyone is beneficial in their own way. The principal is more important than the head of the teaching department. You can ignore the head of the teaching department and even scold them in your heart. When you feel sad, scolding and swearing can help you feel more confident and less worried.

If you watch sports, you've probably seen athletes exhale on the field. This is good for athletes.

Each of us is an athlete in our own workplace. Your situation needs to be released.

The respondent above has already given a good analysis of the possible source of deep self-blame, so I won't repeat it.

I recommend the books The Power of Self-Care, How to Live a Life You Don't Have to Take Responsibility for, and the recently trending TikTok books and calendars. They are great for releasing and warming your heart when you're upset.

You can also go to our One Mind Meditation Planet to practice body scanning and pay attention to your body. Your breathing and body can help you relax anywhere, anytime.

I wish you well.

I hope the poster can rest.