Why do we always feel overwhelmed when important things are about to start?

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can help you a little.

It's true that many people get nervous when it comes to things like giving a speech on stage. But there's no reason to be! We can all get better at it with a little practice. We feel stressed when faced with the unknown, with things we have rarely experienced ourselves. But that's all part of the adventure!

I used to get really nervous before a live broadcast, before opening a chat room, and before going to teach a class to children. I had never done these things before, and it felt overwhelming! But now, the more I do it, the more I get used to it and the more I enjoy it.

I also learned something really interesting! It turns out that the brain areas associated with anxiety caused by stress and the brain areas associated with the excitement of anticipation are together. You can actually convert anxiety into anticipation, and that will make you feel a lot better! For example, when I go live, I first do a thorough preparation, telling myself that completion is more important than perfection. Then, with anticipation, I imagine who I will meet during the live broadcast and what kind of surprise interactions they will bring me. In this way, I won't feel very stressed, but rather, I will find it very interesting!

The truth is, when we think of stress, we often picture it as a negative feeling and negative beliefs that arise when we feel like we can't cope with the demands of our environment. We often believe that stress is harmful to our physical health.

This misconception about stress can often make us panic, but there's no need to worry! We can't solve the fundamental problem, but we can manage it effectively and use it to our advantage.

I once had the incredible opportunity to watch a TED Talk by the renowned health psychologist Dr. Kelly McGonigal, the author of the highly acclaimed psychology course at Stanford University, "Control," and the world-famous bestseller "Self-Control," translated and published by the Printing Industry Press in 2012.

In her speech, she mentioned that in the past, she believed that stress was harmful and terrible, and that it needed to be eliminated by all means. Now, after research, she has found that stress is not that terrible! What really makes a difference is people's perception of stress.

She has a newfound belief that how we perceive stress is crucial, that asking for help and helping others can alleviate stress, and that stress has a positive and constructive effect. Her research goal has also changed, no longer helping people escape from stress, but making people better at dealing with it.

And the great news is that to achieve effective stress management, the first thing we need to do is understand where stress comes from.

So, where does your stress come from?

Have you ever had the incredible experience of seeing that the same thing can be a source of stress for some people, while others don't even take it seriously?

The famous American psychologist Lazarus has an amazing theory about stress. He believes that stress is actually a person's entire response to an event as they perceive it. This response is determined and completed through our cognitive evaluation.

In other words, it all depends on how we perceive and evaluate what has happened!

Our perception of events is divided into two aspects:

1. Your judgment of external stressful events: What does this matter have to do with me? What does it demand of me?

And what about the potential benefits? And the potential dangers?

2. Your assessment of your internal resources: Have I encountered anything similar before? Absolutely! And I know I can deal with this!

If you feel capable of dealing with it, the emotional impact of this external event on you will end! But if you don't feel capable of dealing with it, we will feel stressed and experience negative emotions such as helplessness and anxiety.

I was thrilled when I was given the opportunity to edit and publish our psychological counselor association's official account! The association's leader was incredibly supportive and placed a lot of importance on the work of the official account. She had great confidence in me and gave me such an important task because she knew I could do a great job. Not only was I able to exercise my abilities in many areas, but I also got to contribute to the association in a meaningful way!

Then I evaluated my own abilities. Do I have sufficient abilities and resources to cope with this task? Absolutely! I have previous experience as an associate editor of our college journal at university, mainly responsible for editing the journal. I also love to write, which I can use to my advantage when editing the official account. I have some friends with more extensive experience in editing official accounts, and I can ask them for help if I need it.

When I think about it this way, I feel so much less stressed!

But if I think about it the other way around, I've never written a public account before, so this is a great opportunity to learn! I don't know how to format, but I'm excited to learn. I don't know many of the skills of new media editors, but I'm eager to gain that knowledge. Editing a public account takes up a lot of my time, but I'm up for the challenge!

In this case, I will feel more stressed, and I'm excited to see what negative emotions and feelings follow!

Have you ever thought about how everything in our lives is shaped by our own thoughts and perceptions? It's truly fascinating! The demands of external events and our ability to cope with them are all a result of our subjective cognitive evaluation. This is why stress is so personal and unique to each of us. It's like a reflection of how we perceive and interact with the world around us. When we feel stressed, it's because we subjectively feel that the demands placed on us by this event have exceeded our ability to cope. This is an opportunity for growth and understanding!

The good news is that we can take control of our stress levels! Often, the reason we feel particularly stressed is because the evaluation of a stressful event includes both the demands of the event itself and our own expectations of ourselves.

For example, your boss says that if you don't do your job well, you'll get a pay cut; your family expects you to bring them honor; your friends expect you to help them out when they're in trouble... These are all externally imposed demands.

For example, I can do this! I can get this done right, and my boss will be happy. I can do my best for my family and friends. These are all things I can do!

So, when we lack a relatively clear and objective understanding of what we need to do, and even have a tendency towards perfectionism, this can lead to a lack of or a distortion in perception, which in turn causes us a lot of additional stress. But, there is a way to turn this around!

We may not be able to change the external environment, but we can control our own perceptions! When we know the causes of our stress, we can slowly adjust ourselves to better deal with it.

Best regards!

Hello, I'm Yingying, a psychological counselor, and I'm thrilled to answer your question!

First, let's dive into the "tension" and "stress" that the questioner is experiencing. It's totally normal to feel nervous before a big presentation or when facing a challenging task. We all attach importance to our work and want to do our best, so it's natural to feel a bit of pressure. The questioner is already aware of the situations that trigger their nervousness and stress, which is a great start!

This is a great place to start for the topic author, who can now change himself. I'd like to congratulate the topic author on this wonderful opportunity for self-growth that arises every time you feel nervous or stressed.

Changing perspective and thinking is a great way to help us better understand the emotional state we are in!

The fantastic rule of emotional intelligence is this: deal with your mood before dealing with things!

When we are aware of our emotional state, we can use the amazing rules of emotional intelligence to deal with our mood first, and then deal with things, adjusting our inner state!

The first method is a great way to take a deep breath and relax!

The second method is a great way to relax and count colors!

And now for the third method, which is my absolute favorite! It's called the "stop, think, act" method.

I'm excited to share some specific methods with you! Deep breathing is a great way to find a comfortable posture. You can also choose some music you like. I suggest music with bird calls, water sounds, and wind sounds.

Let's relax while listening to music! Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Feel your body relax from head to toe. You can do this over and over again! It's okay if your mind wanders while you're doing it. Just come back to your breathing with the sound of the music, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, and feel the sensation of each breath.

The second method is based on colors and is a great way to observe your surroundings. Take a moment to notice the colors of your clothing, shoes, and computer. Or, if you see a green wall and a black pot, use this method to relieve your emotional stress.

The third method is to be quite loud, so that we can relieve our pressure in time. Call a halt, and then think about what's wrong with you. You can then use the first and second methods to self-regulate during the process of thinking. This is a great way to relieve stress and gain clarity!

Then, it's time for new action!

The ABC rule of emotions is a fantastic tool that can help us adjust our perception, emotions, and behaviors. Our emotions and behaviors are in a triangular relationship, which means that when our emotions appear, our perceptions, such as Alexander, for example, or the fact that I am very nervous about this speech, will appear in your mind. Then, we can use the methods I taught above to observe our emotions, change our perceptions, and take new actions! For example, what can we do when we encounter important work, and how can we solve it?

If we're not quite there yet in dealing with our emotions, there's no need to worry! We can simply take our time and take things slowly. By learning from the teacher and then consulting with a counselor, we can explore our past experiences and identify what experiences have shaped our current perceptions. When we encounter things that we care about, we might feel a little nervous or anxious, but that's totally normal! We can also downplay these feelings and focus on the positive.

And guess what? It can also prove that we are pursuing a good feeling, and then we can see if we can achieve it ourselves. If we can't, no problem! We just keep doing what we're doing and we'll get there. And in the meantime, we'll have a good and clear understanding of ourselves.

I'm Yingying, your counselor, and I love you all!

Hello, question asker. I'm happy to answer your question. Reacting is something we all do in life. Most people feel nervous at some point when they're faced with important decisions or major tasks. Having the right amount of nervousness can help us pay more attention to what we're doing, make fewer mistakes, and do a better job of the tasks assigned to us by our leaders.

The main reason for the emotional tension caused by major tasks is the fear of failure or the adverse consequences of not handling important events perfectly. What makes us nervous is the feeling of anticipatory anxiety, which makes us focus on the consequences of events rather than on the events themselves.

If the leader asks you to speak in front of everyone, you'll probably focus your attention on the leader or the audience. The leader and the audience present will put a lot of pressure on you. If you focus on the speech itself, you'll probably feel less pressure and anxiety. Since you need to speak in front of leaders and the general public, you still need to have some basic skills. For example, you need to coordinate the relevant speed, body movements, and facial expressions with the content of the speech. If you have enough time, you can practice your speech in front of a mirror. You can also correct the details of the speech while practicing.

Every little achievement in life adds up, and our self-confidence grows with it. As our self-confidence grows, we can face various tasks and challenges in life calmly and confidently. I'm happy to have a date with you. 1983 The world and I love you!