Why does a father with such low emotional intelligence and a "tight-fisted" nature never stop talking about money?

Hello, dear question asker! It's so nice to connect with you through words, face to face. From your description, I can feel the inner conflict and pain you are feeling. It's totally understandable! It seems like there's a bit of a mismatch between your thoughts and actions and those of the other person, which can be really frustrating. The answerer will take a closer look at the problem from a psychological perspective and provide some helpful, inspiring advice.

First of all, it seems like whenever you and your father mention money-related matters, there will always be conflicts between you two. It's totally normal for siblings to disagree on things like this! But it seems like you're both unable to communicate well, which is leading to an increasing emotional gap between the two of you. We can start by talking about your father's family of origin. People of your father's generation have suffered hardships and experienced the prosperity of modern society. Did your father experience a lot of suffering caused by a lack of money when he was a child?

Could it be that your father's parents were a bit too strict with him when it came to spending money? It's possible that this influenced him to be a bit stingy.

Secondly, your father is a man, and men and women think differently. Men like to be straightforward and prefer to express their thoughts directly. Or, if he says that the air conditioning in the unit is blowing too cold for a whole day, he may think that temporarily not using the air conditioning is another way to protect his health. Or, to find out what your father really thinks, you need to communicate with him properly to understand each other's thoughts.

It seems like money is the main issue between you and your father. It's totally understandable! We all have different views on money. For your father, fishing equipment represents something else entirely. You can definitely communicate with your father before making a decision.

Wishing you all the best!

I love you, and I love the world too!

Hello!

Patting on the shoulder.

This does happen, and it may make you feel sad. You may want to change the other person's mind, but reality does not always respond. The more you try to communicate, the more likely you are to feel angry and helpless.

There was a guy who was stingy, but he and his girlfriend stuck together. Everyone found it strange and asked why. She said, "Since it cannot be changed, I will no longer be affected by the other person."

If she can't explain it clearly after 2 or 3 sentences, she won't go into more detail. She'll just say, "I know, but this is why I can't take a taxi home." Sometimes her boyfriend will drive her home, but sometimes he can't, so he reluctantly transfers money for her to take a taxi.

Why does this happen?

If you want to know more, ask your father if he was like this from a young age. You can also ask other people about his upbringing. A person's personality is formed by both what they are born with and what they learn. Being tight with money is about the values and meaning he attaches to money. People in the past were afraid of being poor and were not willing to spend money. He believes that money is only safe when it is in his own hands.

However, they stopped growing. The questioner is young and has avoided famine. But they grew up with different backgrounds and cultural values. When facing such situations, we need to stay calm.

First, accept your negative emotions when your expectations are not met. Understand yourself and give yourself emotional acceptance. Second, communicate with your father effectively. Express your feelings when you encounter difficulties and when your father avoids the problem. Understanding your father's feelings and thoughts will help you relieve your emotions. Finally, continue to learn and grow in relationships. Not all relationship models can be copied. We need to find the right way to get along with each other. Set appropriate boundaries.

I hope this helps.

Best,

Hi, I'm happy to answer your question. I hope you find my suggestions helpful.

I'm not sure if parents from that era all had this "common problem" or tendency to be stingy.

And this kind of stinginess isn't just towards others, but also towards themselves.

For instance, every time dinner is served, my father will go over how much money he spent that day. For example, yesterday he spent a total of two dollars outside, having one meal. At dinner at home that night, he'll say he ate two meals today, and both were eaten at home, so he didn't spend any money.

Sometimes he'll make comparisons. For instance, because of the nature of his work in the summer, he's often busy, so he'll sometimes eat out at a restaurant. This often leads to me preferring to eat potato noodles or hot and sour noodles, which cost around 12 or 15 yuan. He, I'm not sure if it's really about saving money, still says that he just loves it, and he'll only eat fried rice with eggs, which costs around 8 or 10 yuan.

He doesn't mind what I eat, but he can't stop talking about it. He'll say, "Look, I ordered this cheap dish, and yours costs more than ten yuan."

In the past, I would have just let it go because I didn't know how to argue with him over a few dollars. But one day I snapped and said, "I'll pay for this meal."

So at least during that meal, he kept quiet and stopped nagging, and it was quiet for a few days. Of course, the effect wasn't great, otherwise I wouldn't have brought up the topic of conversation at dinner the past two days as an example.

It's not uncommon for kids our age to have parents who are tightwads. But it might also have something to do with the family's financial situation.

It's not that every family is wealthy, or even that wealthy families have such parents. In general, though, these parents mostly come from ordinary families, or even families made up of working class people.

This makes it tough for them to earn money or to get the financial rewards that may be more readily available to other ordinary families.

So when it comes to spending money, they'll do a lot of calculating. Of course, this isn't meant to be disrespectful.

It can be tough for kids our age to get on board with this part of the equation.

This part of the calculation isn't about spending money indiscriminately. It's about how our parents view everyday expenses.

We need to make two kinds of adjustments: one is how to communicate with our parents, and the other is how to arrange our own financial plans.

It's easier to deal with the latter because we can just spend the money we earn ourselves and make reasonable arrangements. If our parents ask where we spent the money, we can sometimes say that the amount is smaller or give a range that they can at least accept to reduce family conflicts.

But it can be harder for us to get our parents to understand our spending habits. It might take more time and energy to do that.

It's a two-way street. We can't understand why they are so reluctant to spend money, and they sometimes can't understand why we spend money so recklessly.

This is really down to the way the times and the economy are changing.

Rather than trying to understand each other's spending habits, we should find a balance where each person spends their own money, giving each person a space to spend.

Needless to say, there are standards in this area.

For instance, if you can't afford to turn on the air conditioner and you get sick, you'll end up spending even more money on medical care.

This example can be used as a reference point.

We can give an example to show why we don't mind turning the air conditioner off. It might cost a few hundred dollars more to use it for a month, but if you get heatstroke and have to go to the hospital for an IV drip, it could cost a few thousand. It's not worth it, right? Let your parents know that maybe they should think about things differently, or change their habits.

It also doesn't mean spending money extravagantly, but rather saving where we can and not spending more than we can afford.

I hope that through some self-reflection and exploring different options, you can find a way to communicate with your parents that is suitable and won't affect your emotional health or the parent-child relationship.

I love you, world!